Printable Version of Topic
Click here to view this topic in its original format
Dumpshock Forums _ General Gaming _ Problems with a player
Posted by: swirler Feb 14 2008, 09:25 PM
Okay, so one of the players in our group is well, let's call hum socially stunted, atleast on some levels. In every game we have played he has been a part of, he brings whores into it somehow. In Buffy he went, banged a ho, then found her pimp, killed him and tried to "take over his route". In Wfrp he always goes to a brothel, buys several girls and expects it to be somewhat described by him or to him. in my new D&D campaign he suggested that his lawful good cleric be a "church whore" at the temple (keep in mind he assumed they had them, I had NEVER mentioned this, and in my game it does not exist atleast that they would be aware of). I fear starting my SR game with its potential for sexual depravity in newer forms.
We just cant figure out why he is so obsessed with it. He seems like a decent enough guy, but this is freaking out the female players. I guess I should state that our group is about half women. At times its been more than half. I dont have a problem with people wanting to "have their characters visit the working girls" if they want, but he seems obsessed with it in every game. We've considered the disease route, and other things but I was wondering if anyone here had some helpfull suggestions.
I'm looking for constructive ideas, but of course funny and mean are always good for a laugh too 
Posted by: Fortune Feb 14 2008, 09:52 PM
Have a private talk to him about it. Explain that it makes people uncomfortable, and that others (no names) have made complaints. Make it clear that while you don't mind the subject matter and don't want to impinge on his RPG experience, you don't feel it is necessary to do more than allude to sexual situations in the game.
Posted by: the_dunner Feb 14 2008, 09:54 PM
QFT. That's absolutely the right approach. If, after that discussion, he still can't behave like a mature adult, then stop inviting him.
Posted by: Dashifen Feb 14 2008, 10:32 PM
Thirded. I've had a few players who are totally focused on working out a sexual fantasy in game. I've taken the same approach. It hasn't happened for a while, though. Actually ... it pretty much stopped after college ...
Posted by: Slymoon Feb 15 2008, 12:01 AM
Agreed!
And likely one of the reasons he does this is because you have females in the group. Passive aggressive hitting on them or just wanting the attention.
Posted by: Kagetenshi Feb 16 2008, 02:20 PM
Shoot him in the crotch.
(No, I didn't say "his character".)
~J
Posted by: Wounded Ronin Feb 16 2008, 05:06 PM
We just cant figure out why he is so obsessed with it. He seems like a decent enough guy, but this is freaking out the female players. I guess I should state that our group is about half women. At times its been more than half. I dont have a problem with people wanting to "have their characters visit the working girls" if they want, but he seems obsessed with it in every game. We've considered the disease route, and other things but I was wondering if anyone here had some helpfull suggestions.
I'm looking for constructive ideas, but of course funny and mean are always good for a laugh too
C'mon, man! Don't you know that RPGs are a support group for the socially retarded such as myself!?
Seriously, I'd just tell him to please rein it in because it's making the other players uncomfortable. Of course, that may be his kink; making the female players uncomfortable. So in that case I guess you'd just have to kick him out.
I remember years ago when I was GMing SR over IRC we had a player who was sort of like what you describe. However, seeing as we didn't have any actual female players most people were just annoyed that he was acting like an "idiot younger brother." I was away for one summer and when I'd gotten back the others had just kicked him out in the most direct fashion.
Posted by: nezumi Feb 17 2008, 12:36 AM
No, I'm pretty sure that Kage's response is the only rational solution. After, tell him in a few years the two of you will look back on that moment and laugh.
Posted by: hyzmarca Feb 17 2008, 01:01 AM
I'd suggest that the next time he decides to play a church whore be the day that the rest of the group decides that they want to LARP but I'm afraid he'd like it. Anyway, passive-aggressive actions are rather futile in the long run. As WR stated, be open and honest about it.
Posted by: Buck Satan Feb 19 2008, 07:33 AM
I had a player like that and he is no longer in our group. It took several talks out of session to convince him to either role play a bit more appropriately or leave. Unfortunately he could never get it, so I banned him from my campaigns. He's an ok guy but his perversions have no place in my games granted that Shadowrun is a very futuristic fantasy based around a world of grit, magic and tech. Seriously though you should remove him from session until he learns his lesson. Or put him on a probationary status provided he doesn't scare your female players off or just relocate the session to a different place. Granted that it's a game don't let it stress you out as most role playing games are supposed to be fun for everyone not for just one person.
Posted by: Critias Feb 20 2008, 05:31 AM
Whenever he mentions sex, shout "NO, BAD, PUT IT AWAY!" and squirt him in the face with a water bottle. That's what my wife used to do to our dachsund, when he got freaky during a belly rub or something.
Just be careful not to get water on character sheets or anything.
Posted by: Ravor Feb 20 2008, 05:50 AM
Just enforce your ability as DM to Fade to Black whenever you wish and let him imagine all sorts of lewdness in the privatecy of his own skull.
Of course, when that doesn't work, three strike him and then don't invite him back.
Posted by: Wounded Ronin Feb 20 2008, 07:00 AM
Just be careful not to get water on character sheets or anything.
Holy crap, man. Did your dog get Victorian style sexual issues?
Posted by: DocTaotsu Feb 20 2008, 08:07 AM
One guy ought not to screw up the enjoyment of the rest of the gaming group. SR is not the place for him to work out his sexual issues, especially if other players are creeped out by this.
When you sit him down for a little one on one talk you should be sure to remind him that the point of gaming is to have fun and that his little escapades are interferring with other players having fun during a session. If his idea of fun invovles make believe sex whilst looking for the Mt Dew, he probably needs to find another group. Or find a good kink club, that might be more his style. All the black leather of your average SR game but without the awkwardness of people who don't share your fascination with being a man slut.
You're honeslty doing him a favor, there's a time and a place and if he's not getting that he needs to grow up so he can figure that stuff out. I can only imagine what he must be like at work...
The spray bottle has merit but a rolled up newspaper will probably make a more lasting impression.
Posted by: PBTHHHHT Feb 20 2008, 11:15 PM
Just make sure that stuff doesn't get him even more turned on...
Posted by: Metatron Feb 21 2008, 01:55 PM
You could always threaten to chop it off (IC for preference, OC if that doesn't work!)
It's what I did to one particular player I was playing alongside with.
He had a troll that was always unappropriate with the lewdness, so my character threatened castration. Fortunatley it seemed to sort it out without actually having to enact that in character.
If that doesn't work, I would suggest warning him for 3 strikes, then if that doesn't work, just move the game session to somewhere else for a few weeks.
Posted by: Counter Weight Mar 12 2008, 07:05 PM
So how did your talk turn out? I'm just curious-over the years I've had to have the "talk" with three players. Two took it well, one freaked out and never gamed with us again. (Funnily enough he was the least creepy of the three.)
We try to keep the lines of communication in our group, and for the most part we succeed. Sometimes people have gripes, and we figure that's normal. We try to keep things from getting too personal, or from being hurtful if we can. (I won't lie we don't always succeed on the first try, but our track record is decent so far.)
Posted by: swirler Mar 13 2008, 04:06 PM
well we haven't had it yet. Im not sure if any of the other guys have asked him to tone it down any or not. My last game he was too busy trying to stay alive to worry about sex too much. (D&D First lvl cleric getting mauled by wargs)
I haven't started the SR4 game yet
The other main GM of the group is thinking of kicking him out of his wfrp game, if he does that then I wont worry about it too much. I don't have the guys phone number and he doesn't have mine. I wouldn't be able to call him when I started the game.
Posted by: apollo124 Mar 17 2008, 03:46 AM
Keeping with what the others have said, I think just a one-on-one talking to, GM to player OOC, is the way to go. Remind him of the female players and that it is possible if he keeps it up, they may leave the hobby totally. I know this wasn't mentioned in your post, but I would be surprised if it hadn't occurred to the girls.
If that doesn't seem to work,then it's time for the big whooping stick of punishment. I'm guessing that perv-boy isn't the team leader. Maybe the GM could discretely contact the team lead and make sure perv-boy has a mission critical job almost all the time and no time to get busy. And if he should sneak out for a bit, well, maybe he didn't notice the mafia boys tailing him, or maybe he was too wrapped up in that "Lesbian Elf Ninja Chicks 4" sim to keep a good eye out for trouble.
Now, for my story from the past. Waaaayy back when I was a teenager, I ran a game for my two brothers, Top Secret S.I. At one point, the pc's were on a train on the way to the mission. One pc decides to head to the bar and begins acting drunk. As the big brother and gm, I decided a lesson needed to be taught. So I temporarily modified his stats to simulate him being hammered. Pretty soon, he picked up a girl (enemy agent) and very nearly got his OO7 ass handed to him on a plate. Never had a problem with drunk pc's again, well with my brothers, that is.
Posted by: Wounded Ronin Mar 17 2008, 04:42 PM
If I ever play in a game you GM, can I play a drunken kungfu master?
Posted by: Wounded Ronin Mar 17 2008, 04:43 PM
Did he make high pitched giggling noises as his character was getting mauled, thus demonstrating masochism?
Posted by: swirler Mar 17 2008, 06:14 PM
This may, as far as shadowrun be a non issue, one of the players excited about me running SR talked to him about the game and he claims to not interested in anything remotely cyberpunk related. That is kind of ironic since he obsesses over anime and loves Ghost in the Shell. He claims to only want to play fantasy games. It was even pointed out SR is cyberpunk fantasy.
0h well. I wont worry about it too much now. He has seemed to calm down some. He still made it a point int he last wfrp game that he "spent the night with professional company".
*shakes head*
Posted by: kookyjeld Mar 17 2008, 06:26 PM
*shakes head*
In light of that, I really think you should follow Critas' suggestion:
Just be careful not to get water on character sheets or anything.
I just want to say that I've been a long-time lurker of Dumpshock and that post finally inspired me to say something, if only because reading it caused me to spew water and randomly laugh on the phone (with a particularly irate customer on the line) while at work. Thank you, sir.
Posted by: CircuitBoyBlue Mar 17 2008, 09:18 PM
I can't believe everyone's missed the obvious: Invite hookers to the table. I'm talking about the ones you can afford to bring to the table, with what you have on your person right now. Have you ever talked to them? Depressing stuff. Definitely puts to rest any ideas you may have had about employing their services. As a person, he could probably use the reality check of a mannish 17 year old asking if he has any coke on him through her laryngectomy box (that's what they call those things, right?).
Posted by: Wounded Ronin Mar 17 2008, 10:06 PM
Pssh! He should be disbarred. That's no way for a Rules Lawyer to behave. What kind of Rules Lawyer uses Attempt To Disbelieve instead of knowing the rules like he should?
Posted by: apollo124 Mar 18 2008, 04:30 AM
Absolutely! "Drunken Master" with Jackie Chan was just TOO FUNNY!
Posted by: Critias Mar 18 2008, 05:45 AM
I do my best. Welcome to postville, btw.
Posted by: WhiteWolf Mar 18 2008, 01:58 PM
Depends on the price range. After all have you already forgotten about the $4,500.00 an hour services that the Gov of NY state employed?
So your idea might back fire.
Posted by: CircuitBoyBlue Mar 18 2008, 04:23 PM
That's why I said you need to do it with what you have on you (and I guess I was assuming nobody around here's enormously wealthy, though now that I think about it, I have absolutely no reason to make such an assumption). I was, of course, talking about the ones that do things for $10, and not the ones that have been all over CNN and the network news shows propagating this fairy tale of high-end prostitution as happy fun times. I can't quite put my finger on it, but there's something about all of this that's screaming "media fabrication" at me. I just don't buy that prostitution's as glamorous as MSNBC Live would have me believe right now, even when the client's paying as much as it would cost to feed a normal family for two months.
Anyway, back on topic, I'm just saying you should show this guy that nothing will ever be funny again once he's met women who've had their souls crushed by cheap prostitution. Ruining player's lives is acceptable in the pursuit of optimal gaming, right?
Posted by: swirler Mar 18 2008, 05:30 PM
Words I try to live by every day.
Posted by: Crusher Bob Mar 19 2008, 06:42 AM
Fixed that for you.
Posted by: Wounded Ronin Mar 19 2008, 07:33 AM
The biggest challenge would be conveying that humor. Since it's very physical humor and very slapstick.
Posted by: Ravor Mar 21 2008, 02:37 PM
I guess my question would be whether or not he was graphic when making a point of saying that he slept with a woman of the night, if he said it in simlair to the way you did then it's an improvement and time to meet him half-way.
Powered by Invision Power Board (http://www.invisionboard.com)
© Invision Power Services (http://www.invisionpower.com)