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Posted by: Ancient History Dec 24 2007, 04:06 AM

Neon lights reflect off shiny green wrapping like verdigris and ancient chrome. A ribbon the color of old blood ends in a bow more complicated than the virginity knot of a trained geisha. The package Mr. Johnson hands you is the size and heft of an adobe brick.

Micromillimeter radar bounces and bores through the foil, returning useless garbled crap in your image link. The chemsniffers have gone mad and question marks sidescroll along the bottom of your vision. You don't have to take a sniff to know your enhanced olfactory vision won't reveal a thing. Next to you in the booth, the shaman has started to whimper like a wounded dog and shy into the corner, as far away from it as possible.

Not that you expected anything less. You don't have to ask what's in it. You already know.

Fruitcake.

Posted by: toturi Dec 24 2007, 04:10 AM

And Merry Christmas to you too.

Posted by: apollo124 Dec 24 2007, 05:36 AM

And the 100 question is...to whom does it go now?

Posted by: kzt Dec 24 2007, 06:04 AM

It's not soy.

Posted by: BookWyrm Dec 24 2007, 06:23 AM

Obviously it's going to someone the Mr. Johnson doesn't like.

Posted by: hobgoblin Dec 24 2007, 09:52 AM

those lizards and their mind games, bah humbug...

Posted by: knasser Dec 24 2007, 10:44 AM

Nice one.

Someday, I'm going to send my players on the Fruitcake run just for the degree to which it will mess with their minds.

Posted by: Ancient History Dec 24 2007, 05:01 PM

I may be alone in having worked up stats for the Fruitcake.

Posted by: Rotbart van Dainig Dec 24 2007, 05:11 PM

Posted by: Magus Dec 24 2007, 05:22 PM

Where is the fruitcake run? I remember reading it once upon a time.

Posted by: Aaron Dec 24 2007, 05:28 PM

After all this time, it even has a flavor in astral space.

Posted by: Ophis Dec 24 2007, 05:59 PM

Posted by: Ancient History Dec 24 2007, 06:39 PM

Posted by: Magus Dec 24 2007, 06:57 PM

So that is the Origen of Fortune? His father ate Alamaise's Fruitcake!!

Woweee.

Posted by: apollo124 Dec 24 2007, 06:58 PM

So I ask again...Who's fruitcake is it, anyway? Ghostwalker?
Although, I'm not sure if I would try the one he would probably send back, he creeps me out.

Posted by: Fortune Dec 24 2007, 08:40 PM

Posted by: Kyoto Kid Dec 24 2007, 09:09 PM

...I'd hate to even imagine the one Harlequin bakes up. Send you on another metaplanar quest to take on the legion of Evil Shedim Santas or something like that.

BTW Happy Christmas to all

"...oh, and pilgrim, never, ever trust an elf...especially them ones who say they only make the toys."

Posted by: Spike Dec 25 2007, 05:37 AM

Just for that I will be personally sending each and every one of you exactly ONE loaf of my Great Grandmother's Secret Recepie Fruit Cake.

Which I, for one, happen to love.

But if, by this time next year, you have not actually EATEN the GGSRFC, feel free to mail it to someone else on this forum, I assure you that while it may no longer be moist and chewy, it is still quite edible.








Depending upon how you, personally, define 'edible'.

Posted by: Ryu Dec 25 2007, 09:00 AM

Happy X-Mass days and good run-free loot for you all!

I want the GGSRFC-recipe, too!

Posted by: Ophis Dec 25 2007, 01:01 PM

Thanks for that AH. Now I want to find and eat the big D version. After learning to Astral Project.

Posted by: ElFenrir Dec 25 2007, 02:50 PM

Those fruitcakes actually sound fun. Im surprised, though, that they havn't began using fruitcake to rebuild the Barrens in lieu of plascrete.

And merry christmas all, hyvää joulua.

Posted by: MITJA3000+ Dec 25 2007, 03:30 PM

Come on AH, tell us who's playing the fruitcake-game with Alamais now?

Posted by: hyzmarca Dec 25 2007, 03:34 PM

Posted by: Ancient History Dec 25 2007, 05:09 PM

You can cut it with a monosword.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all!

Posted by: Fortune Dec 25 2007, 05:31 PM

Ho Ho Ho!

Gotta ask Santa for a Minigun next year.

Posted by: Zhan Shi Dec 26 2007, 01:03 AM

There is an apocryphal story from the American Revolution. Supposedly, the Marquis de Lafayette reported to George Washington that the army was running low on ammunition. Washington replied, "We have plenty of fruitcake, don't we? Make use of it."

Posted by: BookWyrm Dec 26 2007, 01:53 AM

Posted by: apollo124 Dec 30 2007, 01:00 PM

My God, you can find anything online, can't you?

Posted by: knasser Dec 30 2007, 05:29 PM

Posted by: Whipstitch Dec 30 2007, 05:48 PM

Ah yes, Archie McPhee.

I've always been fond of the http://www.mcphee.com/items/11554.html

Posted by: Eurotroll Dec 31 2007, 01:50 AM

The cake is a lie.

Posted by: BookWyrm Jan 6 2008, 01:52 AM

All praise to McPhee.com!

My GF gave me the Freeloader Fork as a thank-you last year, and when she told me a vendor in Coney Island had the Sneaky Spoon, the next chance I had to get out there & went & picked it up.

Posted by: Magus Jan 7 2008, 02:24 PM

So can anyone point me to where I can find this run? I would love to send my runners thru this. I am going to have to change it up a bit as our games are based in London.