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Dumpshock Forums _ Shadowrun _ And now a running list of things I am not allowed to do in Shadowrun

Posted by: 'Sconnie Aug 23 2009, 11:03 PM

OK, we've seen the list of things Mr. Welch is not allowed to do at his table:

http://wiki.rpg.net/index.php/750_things_Mr._Welch_can_no_longer_do_in_a_RPG

Back on the old Wizards Board we kept adding things on to that list, mostly D&D and D20 Modern related.

I was thinking we should do a Shoadowrun verson of this list.

I'll start:

1. There is no great dragon named Trogdor.
2. My PC is not "Proud to be a bunraku from Renraku"
3. I am not allowed to ever learn the spell Orgy ever again.
4. My Bastet is not "In ur node, steeling yur paydataz"
5. I am not allowed to use the Trogdor song to describe any of the great dragons.
6. There are no Kender in Shadowrun.

Posted by: Totentanz Aug 23 2009, 11:46 PM

7. Despite the similarities between Cyber Punk and Fallout, I am not allowed to design and build a Fat Man, much less the MIRV.

Posted by: remmus Aug 23 2009, 11:47 PM

8. I´m no longer allowed to drop tanks or similar heavy vehicles from high places as a viable weapon.

9. I´m no longer allowed to act paranoid whenever crossing a bridge over a river assuming a deckt out troll is waiting under it to ambush.

Posted by: tsuyoshikentsu Aug 24 2009, 12:50 AM

10. I am no longer allowed to inform people of my lack of desire to incinerate the earth through a deliberate act of arson.
11. I am no longer allowed to ask Mr. Johnson if his first name is Richard.

Posted by: BookWyrm Aug 24 2009, 01:25 AM

12. Not every Johnson is a Dragon in disguise. I will refrain from scrutinizing him, looking for where he puts his wings and tail.

13. Just because I am *that* good-looking, doesn't mean I can turn Dante's Inferno into my own private orgy.

14. It doesn't matter who has the biggest gun, despite being the only one who does.

15. I will be respectful to my teammates, no matter what meta-type they are or religeous background.
15a. Not all Trolls eat goats. Whole.
15b. Dwarves do NOT sing "Hi-Ho!" at the start of ANY mission.
15c. Elves do NOT make cookies. Nor do they work for a Johnson named "Santa."
15d. Orks do NOT know some guy named 'Saruman' nor 'Sauron', despite their being a policlub with his name in it.

16. I will stop bugging my Technomancer teammate/contact about making a Transformer for me.
16a. I will stop bugging my Mechanic contact about the same thing, and refrain from calling him "Ratchet".

17. I will stop chanting "Beam me up Mr. Scott!" into my commlink when things go badly.
17a. I will stop chanting into my commlink "Checkov, fire a photon torpedo to my location NOW!" when things go badly.
17b. I will stop calling our Elven mage "Spock." One Vulcan Neck-Pinch is more than enough.
17c. I will stop calling my Technomancer teammate/contact "Mr. Scott." She doesn't have a scottish burr to her voice, HATES science fiction and only just put my working SIN back together after the last time.
17d. I will refrain from making ANY and ALL 'horny' jokes around the Troll. I still have nightmares about him crushing the beer keg one-handed that last time.

That's all I could come up with. Enjoy. wink.gif

Posted by: Draco18s Aug 24 2009, 01:27 AM

12. I am not allowed to create a PC named Rodrigo and describe him using the words "hot," "Latin," or "passion" in the same sentence.

13. I am not allowed to create any shapeshifter character who has deviant sexual fetishes. Said characters are especially not allowed to use the phrase "doggy style" in any context. This holds doubly true for fox shifters.

14. No longer allowed to accept assassinations against the group or any group member.

15. Not allowed to ritual-execute a bum and doctor the video footage in order to get paid for an assassination against the group or any group member.

16. No character is to ally with Deus, any further attempts will be met with annihilation by space laser.

(I do have to say, the lists's #63, "I cannot buy 10,000 marbles even if I say please." shouldn't apply if you buy a gun called The Room Cleaner that fires 10mm steel marbles...I have a character who purchased that, and some 1000 marbles (I ran out of money))

Posted by: Matsci Aug 24 2009, 01:53 AM

17. I cannot use a bulldozer and a cliff to crush an entire Mitsuhama strike team

18. I cannot steal the most expensive plane in Arsenal.

19. I cannot mount arms on said plane

20. Even if I could put arms on the plane, I cannot get a bow big enough for a plane to fire.

Posted by: AngelisStorm Aug 24 2009, 02:07 AM

#21. I am not allowed to take "Jimmy," the THOR operator*, as a loyalty 6 contact.

#22. I am not allowed to take the Aztechnology Bloodmage consortium (aka. magical THOR) as a loyalty 6 group contact.

*"and he can't be my childhood best friend, brother, half brother, or sister's really cool fiance, and I cannot call him "Captain Awsome."

frown.gif

Posted by: Fezig Aug 24 2009, 02:49 AM

23. I am no longer allowed to make any and all vans my character purchases black with a red stripe.

24. Even with said van, it does not give me the ability to crash through walls better when not in the van.

25. Nor does it allow me to "pity the fool" for any greater effect.

26. Nor can the runner name of said character be one letter preceded by a title, use Baracus anywhere in it, or be a two letter abbreviation of any shape or form.

Posted by: the_real_elwood Aug 24 2009, 03:47 AM

27. No, I am not allowed to nuke it from orbit. Even if it is the only way to be sure.

Posted by: 'Sconnie Aug 24 2009, 04:11 AM

28. No PCs based on any character from The Big Lebowski, this goes quintuple for Walter Sobchak

29. Renraku's official company song was not written by http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kf4eu5y0418.

Posted by: Draco18s Aug 24 2009, 04:13 AM

30. Painting the getaway van red, does not in fact, make it go fasta.

31. Not allowed to spend all 400 BP on 1 point knowledge skills

32. Not allowed to spend all 400 BP on 1 point skills

Posted by: Method Aug 24 2009, 04:20 AM

33. I cannot have a Cure Disease spell anchored on my junk no matter how much I pay the magician.
34. I cannot have a lightsaber no matter how much I beg the GM.
35. I am no longer allowed to hire homeless people to act as sherpas to carry my assault canon and ammo.
36. I am not allowed to play a possession mage for the sole purpose of digging up Chuck Norris' corpse and making a prepared vessel out of it (also applies to Bruce Lee and Ernest Borgnine).
37. My retirement plan cannot involve sealing my head in a cryogenic capsule and launching into space so that my character can live forever in Eclipse Phase.

Posted by: McAllister Aug 24 2009, 04:47 AM

38. I can no longer aspect my own Astral Hazing to get permanent rating 4 background count in my favor... well, maybe I can, but I most certainly may not.

39. I am not allowed to put a gun in my gun, not even if I want to shoot while I shoot. Which I do.

Posted by: Draco18s Aug 24 2009, 06:31 AM

QUOTE (McAllister @ Aug 24 2009, 12:47 AM) *
39. I am not allowed to put a gun in my gun, not even if I want to shoot while I shoot. Which I do.


40. Nor am I allowed to but an under barrel shotgun on my SMG, no matter how http://www.damonx.com/images/ps3-army-of-two7.jpg

Posted by: MorkaisChosen Aug 24 2009, 11:11 AM

41. My Adept cannot "see the code."

42. No, I cannot use my incredible social dice pool to persuade the guard drone to destroy the floor it's standing on.

43. I will not ask my Troll teammates whether they cut off their enormous purple hair.

Posted by: StealthSigma Aug 24 2009, 12:18 PM

44. Contrary to popular belief, MGL does not stand for Machine Gun Launcher. Even if the Machine Gun Launcher existed I will never be allowed to have a Machine Gun Launcher.
44a. Even if a Machine Gun Launcher existed, I cannot add it as an under-barrel weapon to my sniper rifle.

Posted by: Blade Aug 24 2009, 12:34 PM

45. I cannot add cyberfeet with skimmerdisks to a centipede, and even if I did, the modifiers wouldn't stack and let it go past the speed of light.

Posted by: MorkaisChosen Aug 24 2009, 01:03 PM

46. My Adept-in-a-suit may not be named Smith; nor may he be named Hugo or Elrond.

Posted by: ravensmuse Aug 24 2009, 01:33 PM

47. I am no longer allowed to think pushing Grandma's into streets is "funny".
48. High explosives are not a "subtle way of taking out the target".

Posted by: remmus Aug 24 2009, 01:44 PM

49. if my character resmbles to much on any character in any metal gear game to the degree the GM can spot it without thinking, then my character instantly explodes like his whole torso was made of C4

50. I can not make a troll whose tactic is to walk around with restrained dwarfs strapped with explosives and throw them like improvised grenades...even if it´s damn funny

Posted by: tarbrush Aug 24 2009, 02:08 PM

51. Plan B is not "Twice as much explosives as plan A".
52. Plan C is not "Kill it with fire".
53. Plan D is not "Use twice as much fire as Plan C".

Posted by: remmus Aug 24 2009, 02:22 PM

54. if the group agrees that plan B is to kill everyone, I may not sugest that we make it the main plan

Posted by: Kerenshara Aug 24 2009, 02:56 PM

55. In a 1st Ed game, I am no longer allowed to learn any form of the Barrier spell. Ever.

56. I may not create a troll with a metagenic flaw of thick red-orange fur all over his body, give him Size 58 combat boots made to look like white ChucksTM and call him Gossamer.


57. I may not have the "Old ElPasso" logo engraved into my Panther assault canon.

58. I may not have the "Osterizer" logo engraved into my Ares HVARTM or my Minigun.

Posted by: MorkaisChosen Aug 24 2009, 03:41 PM

59. http://tvtropes.org/MainPage is not an appropriate form of contact.
59a. Not even in a Matrix-focused game.

Posted by: GreyBrother Aug 24 2009, 04:01 PM

61. 60 is a forbidden Number. 60 is a forbidden number. 60 is a forbidden number.

62. I will not do everything some mysterious voice from some isolated host tells me.
62a. Even if it promises me candy.
62b. Or power unimaginable.
62c. Or the return of my lost loved one.
62d. Especially if the voice demands the backstabbing of my teammates.
62e. Except i cross my fingers and jump on a leg.

63. Not allowed to insert loopholes in the Not-Allowed List.

Posted by: X-Kalibur Aug 24 2009, 04:37 PM

64. I am not allowed to shit on the rug ever again.

65. Nor am I allowed to Narcoject the decker to death

Posted by: Khyron Aug 24 2009, 05:49 PM

66. The elf isn't allowed to launch flashbangs at the security guard while the rest of the party is in the blast range "because it's his only stun weapon."
67. The elf isn't allowed to touch grenades ever again.
68. especially white phosphorus grenades.

Posted by: InfinityzeN Aug 24 2009, 05:52 PM

69. I am not a 'Player In a Management Position'
69a. Not even if I work at an 'Adult' club
69b. The stripper PC who works at the club is not one of my'hoez'
69c. Even if I bribed the GM to let me take "ma' bitchz an' hoez" as a group contact
69d. I am not allowed to implant a taser, stun baton, or any other such device in my gun to make women "cream so hard 'dat 'day pass out"

70. I can not have a used Cadallac Deville
70a. If I somehow manage to get one, I can not paint it powder pink with 30" gold spinners and hydraulics
70b. A powder dispenser is not an acceptable 'Pimped' option

71. I can not install six Nitrous mods into my motorcycle
71a. Even if I do, it will not accelerate so fast that time goes backwards

72. I am not a leprechaun, people are not after my pot of gold or lucky charms, and my penis is not 'magically delicious'

Posted by: Rotbart van Dainig Aug 24 2009, 06:04 PM

QUOTE ('Sconnie @ Aug 24 2009, 01:03 AM) *
6. There are no Kender in Shadowrun.

73 . And there are no Hobbits, either.

Posted by: tsuyoshikentsu Aug 24 2009, 06:12 PM

74. I am not allowed to use this list for contact ideas.

Posted by: Ard3 Aug 24 2009, 07:01 PM

75. If an idea makes me giggle more than 15 seconds, I am not allowed to try it.
75a. Nor tell other players about it.
75b. Nor tell it to any other person/animal/being/entity that has even slight chance of understanding it.

Posted by: Eric Aug 24 2009, 07:03 PM

76. I am not allowed to play a Night One elf who wields two Katanas in combat.

77. I am not allowed to name my troll street samurai Cudlie, Teddy Bear, or any other term that conjures visions of cute little child's toys.

78. I am not allowed to run the shadows naked (neither the character, nor the player!).

Posted by: Kerenshara Aug 24 2009, 07:08 PM

79. I am not allowed to hide an assault rifle in my garter belt, no matter what the rules say or HOW good I roll.

Posted by: remmus Aug 24 2009, 07:10 PM

80. even if I have the biggest, strongest troll ever possible I may not in any shape or form treat a assault rifle as a handgun.

Posted by: BobRoberts Aug 24 2009, 07:15 PM

81. Don't (attempt to) make deals with bug spirits. That's naughty.

82a. HMG and gyroscope is not apt. attire for a low profile meeting.

82b. The same applies to MMG's and LMG's, even if you left the gyro at home.

Posted by: Bull Aug 24 2009, 07:36 PM

These are great! Been pondering starting a "Things Mr Welch is no longer allowed to do..." type thread for a while, glad to see someone did! smile.gif

83. I am not allowed to take a metagenic trait for my Vampire that gives him immunity to sunlight and makes him sparkle. Ever.
84. I am not allowed to reintroduce variable staging into my game. My players threatend to lynch me.
85. I am not allowed to place a bumper sticker on the back of my GMC Bulldog that reads "If this van's Renrakkin', don't come a-knockin'"
86. I am not allowed to take a severe allergy to Mr. Johnsons.
87. I am not allowed to make anymore wolverine clones. Or any X-men clones. Or any Superhero clones. Period.
88. I am no longer allowed to take gear out of the Hungarian, French, or German Language sourcebooks. My GM finally started using Babelfish to double check my gear.
89. "Because they said I could on DUmpshock!" is no longer a valid rules argument.
90. I am not allowed to play a Ghoul with a severe allergy to red meat.
91. The rules for PC Dragons were really an April Fools joke. Now stop asking to play one!

Posted by: Bull Aug 24 2009, 07:37 PM

92. I am no longer allowed to make an elf with the skill Baking, specialized in Cookies. That same character cannot take a treehouse as his lifestyle.

Posted by: Ard3 Aug 24 2009, 07:39 PM

93. Characters cannot use animals as handweapons.
93a. Even if said characters somehow have Exotic Weapon -skills for said animals.

94. Squirt guns can only be filled with substances that actually can be found in rule book.

Posted by: Kerrang Aug 24 2009, 07:40 PM

95. I am not allowed to drink beer to the point I get the hiccups when GMing.
96. I am no longer allowed to GM Saturday night games, as this leads to violations of rule 95.

Posted by: Angelone Aug 24 2009, 07:42 PM

83. I am not allowed to teach ghouls how to do the thriller dance. It doesn't make them any more socailly accepted.
84. I am not allowed to start hobo fighting rings.
85. Even if I was allowed to start a hobo fighting ring ham sandwiches are not a proper reward.
86. None of my characters can take skill levels in chemistry, industrial engineering, demolitions, ir leadership.
87. I am not allowed try to convince anyone to stick it to the man.
88. Especially if I am vague of what it is.
89. But it worked in Fight Club or any other movie is not a good reason to do something in game.
90. I am not a golden god.

Posted by: remmus Aug 24 2009, 07:49 PM

eh we need a bit of cleanup, I posted number 80 so eavry poster after me need to bumb up there by 1....and angelone your way of, you 98- 105

Posted by: Bull Aug 24 2009, 08:04 PM

I'm actually thinking about stealing this for an article for the first issue of the Magazine we're doing smile.gif If anyone doesn't want their contribution published, please PM me (Don't reply here, we don't want to clutter up the thread). smile.gif

Posted by: Straight Razor Aug 24 2009, 08:20 PM

91. no longer allowed to "call 1's"
92. Will never say "trust me i know what i'm doing" before committing to an action that could kill another PC.

Posted by: The Dragon Girl Aug 24 2009, 09:26 PM

106: I am not allowed to cast Mana Static around the teammate who is held together by magic and chewing gum.
107: We are not allowed to buy tanks for the same reasons as normal run teams buy ammo clips.

From my group

Posted by: Draco18s Aug 24 2009, 09:53 PM

96. Even if the rules say that 50 Kg of explosives has a blast radius measured in miles doesn't mean I can buy that much.

97. Even if the rules say so, I am not allowed to take Astral Hazing and get a lifestyle within a few blocks of a megacorp just so we can raid them and not worry about magical defenses.

98. Rodrigo is no longer allowed to cast Stun Ball by doing a hip thrust.

99. Even if I took Distinctive Style and a Geass for somatic casting.

100. "How many will fit?" is not the proper answer to "How many missiles do you store in your van?" when a grenade goes off.

Posted by: Stahlseele Aug 24 2009, 09:55 PM

108. I am NOT allowed to make a Character that has CHAINSAW or Spade as a Specialization in more than 3 Skills.
109. I am NOT allowed to do something that would make Bloodmages weep for joy.
110. I am NOT allowed to do ANYTHING that would make a Toxic Mage weep for ANY reason!
111. I am NOT allowed to make a Cyberzombie run away screaming like a little girl. Again.
112. I am NOT allowed to do a second nano second buyout just because i can.
113. I am NOT allowed to start a World wide Corporate War just because i don't like the World anymore.
114. I am NOT allowed to make ANYONE go "i did not know it could do that . . i wish i DIDN'T know it could do that"
115. I am NOT allowed to throw my Shock-Glove into the Face of anyone to challenge them to a Duel.
116. I am NOT allowed to use things bigger than people as a substitute for WHATEVER!
117. I am NOT allowed to own anything that's called RRRRRRRODGER . .
118. I am NOT allowed to use "Krass, Eon and the Fat Guy" as a TO DO list.
119. I am NOT allowed to use THIS THREAD / DUMPSHOCK as a TO DO list.
120. I am NOT allowed to assume that people mean my close combat abilities, when they tell me to get out the BIG guns.

Furthermore, the original List is pretty short. only 750?
here's one with allmost double that number! http://theglen.livejournal.com/16735.html

Posted by: crash2029 Aug 24 2009, 10:23 PM

121: I am not allowed to have any agents/personality software with HAL.
122: I am not allowed to make a technomancer with HAL for a paragon.
123: I am not allowed to make a character based upon James Bond. Again.
124: The Mad Bomber Who Bombs At Midnight is not a viable archetype.
125: I am not allowed to load dart guns with zen. Anymore.
126: I am not allowed to use stick-n-shock bullets with a slingshot.
127: I am not allowed to ask Mr. Johnson what his professional rating is.
128: I am not allowed to offer Laes cigarettes to random people anymore.
129: C-12 is not an appropriate housewarming gift.
130: I am never to replace my teammates shave cream with DEXS. No matter how funny it is.
131: I am never to replace my teammates grapple gun rope spools with detcord.
132: I am not allowed to make binary explosives cherry flavored.
132a: I am definately not allowed to use said explosives to spike the punchbowl.
133: I am never again to spike my teammates coffee with Long Haul.
134: Laesal wine is not an appropriate beverage. At least I think thats what I was told...
135: "There's a snake in my boots!" is not a viable go-code.

Posted by: Draco18s Aug 24 2009, 10:53 PM

136 I am not allowed to take a "Knowledge: Everything" skill.

137 Even if my character is Mr. Universe.

138 I may not create a character based on Mr. Universe ever again.

139 Especially if he becomes a Technomancer

140 I am not allowed to take "Incompetent: Areospace" ever again. It only worked in the space opera game because flying a spaceship happened more often than anything else.

141 Not allowed to take the metagenetic Radar Sense quality ever again. No character should be allowed to see through bunker doors.

Posted by: tech2.0 Aug 24 2009, 10:56 PM

142. I am NOT allowed to summon the beast spirit (platypus form) and asking it to confuse the enemy.
143. I am NOT allowed to use the graple gun in my cyber arm to pull the heart out of my enemy.

** edit numbers **

Posted by: Rasumichin Aug 24 2009, 11:04 PM

143. "Team member" is not an appropriate restriction for the Slay spell.
144. Even if i buy him as a Loyalty6 contact, Lofwyr and my character are not joined at the hips since birth.

Posted by: AngelisStorm Aug 24 2009, 11:26 PM

145. Great Dragons are not acceptable starting contacts.
146. I am not allowed to take a dragon, who lives on a private island outside of Miami, as a ally or enemy.
147. I am not allowed to abuse the fact my GM doesn't know the Matrix rules. (Original or Unwired.)
148. I cannot play a Troll, who is a Catholic Priest, and refer to everyone as "Little Brother" (or my child).
149. Mr. Universe is not an acceptable contact. (Reference: Rules 136-139)

Posted by: Draco18s Aug 24 2009, 11:42 PM

150 No longer allowed to twink my character to have more dice at dodging sniper shots I am not aware of than the sniper has dice to hit me.

151 Not allowed to have the Shadowland BBS as a group contact.

152 Or it's Matrix 2.0 equivalent (sorry, forgot the name)

153 No longer allowed to play any incarnation of "Bubblegum." Especially if I have plans to turn her into a cyberzombie.

154 No, I am not allowed to put hydraulic jacks on that.

Posted by: Lok1 :) Aug 25 2009, 12:23 AM

155 The names Neo, Morpheus, and Trinity or any varation of the following shall ever be used as a character name.
156 "Name Pending" shall not be used as a character name.
157 I am no longer alowed to use the phrase "I wana Cast a spell..." followed by "I cast Flair" no matter how few of the players know of unforgotten realms.
158 No character shall ever been named "Sir Schmupy of Awsometon", again.
159 Technomancers, AIs or hackers cannot have any refrences to "Alice In wonderland".
160 Epeshaly if I've been playing resedent evil within the past 24 hours.
161 I am no longer alowed to shoot the first johnson of the campagin in the first encounter just to piss of the GM.

Posted by: Lok1 :) Aug 25 2009, 12:33 AM

162 I cannot have splintercell goggles
163 I am not allowed to come to a session if I show any signs of watching Oceans Eleven or The Matrix within a 24 hour period.

Posted by: Method Aug 25 2009, 01:18 AM

164. I am no longer allowed to incite riots when I sense railroading.
165. I am no longer allowed to pull off a Halloweener's arm, ask him nicely to hand me his knife and then reattach the arm with said knife in a "pin the tail on the donkey" fashion.
166. No one is allowed to play a cat girl, ever.

Posted by: BookWyrm Aug 25 2009, 03:06 AM

166a. It doesn't matter how much catgirl anime you've seen.
166b. It doesn't matter if your significant-other is FINALLY willing to play SR.
166c. No, I said it doesn't matter.
166d. It doesn't matter how much you beg, cry, pout, nor throw a tantrum.
166e. NO BRIBE is THAT good enough.
166f. Re-read #166a-e.
166g. Re-read it again.
166h. Memorise it. Or I'll have it stapled to your forhead.

Posted by: Ravor Aug 25 2009, 03:12 AM

167. No you may not be a Blood Mage.

168. If you are a Blood Mage you may not summon Blood Spirits using the original rules.

169. If you do use the original rules you may not command them to eat the entire world.

Posted by: kanislatrans Aug 25 2009, 03:30 AM

170. I will not screw the johnson and the triad by releasing a captive naga cause said naga "Was cute and had babies!"
171. I will not buy stolen spell chips,knowing they originally belonged to the psycotic troll with vindicator.(TPK)
172. I will not push a fellow player out of his "Comfort Zone" just cause he is playing a female character.( who'd a think someone playing an elf chica would be so homophobic?)

Posted by: RebekahWSD Aug 25 2009, 03:52 AM

173. I will not help the rigger make a "monkey van", no matter how much get begs.
174. I will not help the...player who dies in every game, to make a new character that's more annoying that any of his previous characters.
175. No, the pixie character and the troll character can't be married in game even if they are in real life.
176. I'm not allowed to show the character in 174 the rules for drugs.
177. I am not allowed to show the rigger in 173 my arsenal book again, or else there will be monkey vans in the game.

That's all I can think of for right now

RebekahWSD

Posted by: Telion Aug 25 2009, 04:19 AM

178. The cake is a lie.

Posted by: RunnerPaul Aug 25 2009, 07:24 AM

179. I may not take cats from NPCs, even if they do have like 50 of them.
180. I am not allowed to stuff the team's street samurai into the storage space under the bed when he becomes difficult to work with.

Posted by: Delissa Aug 25 2009, 07:41 AM

181. No building the Dreadhog. (A Hog with two sidecars, a speed boost, mounted guns on each sidecar, and a Main Gun on the Hog itself.)
182. I am not allowed to let Teddy talk to anyone not on the team or attend meetings with Johnsons.
183. I am not allowed to save the life of the character who is dying for Plot reasons.
184. I am not allowed to call dibs on the stuff of a character who has died for plot reasons.
185. We are not allowed to argue with GM fiat. Exceptions may be made when the player is actually correct.
186. My character's street name may not in any way be devised from my character's real name.

Posted by: Blade Aug 25 2009, 08:35 AM

187. My anarchopunk character is not allowed to end all the games with a full scale riot.
187a. ...Or to change every run objective to 'stick it to the man, start a riot and destroy society'
187b. My anarchopunk character doesn't care about your rules.

Posted by: Machiavelli Aug 25 2009, 11:36 AM

188. i am not allowed to play a shapeshifter anymore
189. i am also not allowed to make this shapeshifter a rating 15 initiate
190. i am seriously not allowed to laugh at harlequin because of his ridicuously low initiation-rating depending on the massive amount of time he already had to excel.
191. i am not allowed to throw orc-children in the rotor-blades of helicopters to prevent them from following/chasing our team
192. i am not allowed to cast area-effect-elemental-combatspells with a magic rating of 23 when my friends are close
193. i am not allowed to bring down whole megacons with my runs and earn billions of nuyen with it
194. i am even more seriously not allowed to pull up with a Rolly Royce Phaeton at run meetings...with a chaufeur
195. i am not allowed to buy every bar/nightclub/restaurant/fast-food-restaurant my collegues like
196. i am not allowed to marry a free air elemental rating 8...again

Posted by: BobRoberts Aug 25 2009, 11:48 AM

Fixed that muss up with point 80 - my bad, must have been a crosspost or catastophic maths glitch. smile.gif

197. I may not ask if the 'seal of evil' is balancing a ball (of evil) on it's (evil) nose.

Posted by: AngelisStorm Aug 25 2009, 11:58 AM

198. I am not allowed to act on the fact my runner can make more money committing petty crimes than as a Shadowrunner.
199. I am not allowed to play the stock market, using insider knowledge from my runs.
199a. I am not allowed to buy a corporation with the stock market earnings.
199b. I am not allowed to rinse and repeat, until I either buy a AA, or build my corporation into one.
199c. I am not allowed to then make a bid for AAA status.
200. I am not allowed to shoot at Great Dragons with weapons which will insta-kill them.
201. Vindicare Assassin outfits are not subtle.

(178a. The cake is not a lie.)

Posted by: StealthSigma Aug 25 2009, 12:28 PM

202. 'I can't see through walls' is not an acceptable excuse for the sniper shooting his teammates.
203. No matter how much I may want to believe, reconstructing the Death Star trench run in Seattle is not a good idea.
203a. Especially if my character has acquired a nuclear device or an excessive amount of high yield explosives.
204. My character is never allowed to come in contact with a thermonuclear device.
204a. This goes double if my character is likely to violate rule 203.
205. I'm not allowed to suggest that we buy a program the team's hacker will take over a month to code by hand, even if buying it is more cost effective than going without the benefit, unless my character would know the hacker is working on it or would have reason to suggest we acquire it.
205a. I'm not allowed to shoot the aforementioned hacker 'for poops and giggles' because of the aforementioned program.
205b. I'm most certainly not allowed to 'break' his rig because of the aforementioned program.
206. I'm not allowed to try to set off implanted bombs that PCs may or may not have.
207. I will not suggest courses of action for other PCs, even if I think that PC should have thought of it, unless it threatens my character. The comedy that ensues from the failure will be of great humor for everyone but the player that didn't think.
208. No, my epic level gnome illusionist from Dungeons and Dragons who has mastered the Shadow Plane and using to to traverse the multiverse to visit multiple different material planes cannot mysteriously pop up in ShadowRun with the excuse that Earth is just another material plane accessible via the Shadow Plane.
208a. Even if that gnome did manage to reach earth, I am not allowed to take him as a Loyalty 6 contact.
208b. No attempting to convert the gnome from D&D to ShadowRun 'Just cause I can'.
209. I'm not allowed to play a doctor who has an unusually high demolitions skill and a psychosis negative quality, just so I have justifiable reasons to implant bombs into my teammates.
209a. I'm not allowed to plant bombs in terminally ill teammates to use as distraction for the getaway.
210. I'm not allowed to play any character that makes the big bad evil guy blush.
211. I'm not allowed to play a character with a high seduction skill just to get the big bad evil guy laid.
211a. Contrary to popular belief, big bad evil guys are not ALL evil because they didn't get laid.
212. The psychotic doctor from 209 is never allowed to be on the same team as the seductress from 211.
212a. In the event that rule 211 is violated, the psychotic doctor is not allowed to implant a bomb in the seductress to use her in a pinch to kill someone she is trying to seduce.

Posted by: CodeBreaker Aug 25 2009, 12:37 PM

213. No more melting teammates brains.
213a. Seriously. Stop melting their brains.

You do it one or two times and all of a sudden you become "that guy" nyahnyah.gif

Edit: You sneaked in more and made me have to edit mine!

Posted by: Angelone Aug 25 2009, 01:23 PM

Kamasutra is not an appropriate unarmed combat specialization.
Especially if I'm playing a troll.
"Fuck it I shoot him in the face" is not an acceptable answer to any kind of socail situation.
In 4th ed it's "Fuck it I make a called shot to his face, take an aim action, and use edge"
It's still not appropiate however
I am not allowed to dress the dwarf in a tiny sailor suit.
I am not allowed to make every drone I come across play "Iron Man" or "Flight of the Valkyries"
I am not allowed to base a character off anything I've seen in an anime.
Especailly if the anime involved tentacles.
I am no longer allowed to take anyone with chemistry or demolitions skills as contacts.
Prank calling Lone Star or Knight Errant is inappropiate while
I'm on a run
I'm in the teams hq
I'm with anyone on the team
I'm not allowed to go to a Stuffer Shack or McHughs and start a food fight.

Number's are for the weak cool.gif

Posted by: Ard3 Aug 25 2009, 01:37 PM

222. No matter what rule system we are using, I am never allowed to roll more dice than can fit on the gaming table at one time.

Edited for right number number.

Posted by: MorkaisChosen Aug 25 2009, 01:43 PM

223. I may not play an Immortal Elf.
224. No character may be described as "Basically that guy from Die Hard."
224a. No character may be described as "Basically that guy from Total Recall."
224b. No character may be decribed as... sod it, "Basically anyone at all."
224c. Not even if the character, through no fault of my own and entirely independently of any films, ends up effectively being Agent Elrond.

Ard3: You were 222, I think.

Posted by: Warlordtheft Aug 25 2009, 01:46 PM

225. As a GM, I am not allowed to ambush the PCs. This will be a TPK.
226. As a GM no more runs involving penguin poo. Once was enough.
227. As a GM no more runs involving chicken noodle soup recipes written in code that takes the Atlantian foundation months to decifer.
227b. The Atlantian foundation may not ambush the PCs. (See rule 221) They may however be a spoiler for an ambush to prevent players from being in a TPK.



Posted by: MorkaisChosen Aug 25 2009, 01:51 PM

228. I may play an Adept with high Blades skill (Katana specialisation) and high First Aid and Medicine. He may not be named Doctor McNinja.
229. If I am stealing moves and tricks from Doctor McNinja, I must describe them satisfactorily without reference to said webcomic.
230. When GMing, I should refrain from lifting plots directly from:
230a. The aforementioned Doctor McNinja.
230b. The Matrix.
230c. Any Warhammer 40K novel, codex, rulebook or published Dark heresy adventure.
230d. Any other webcomic, including those involving Shadowrun games.
230e. HP Lovecraft.
231. PCs do not have a SAN statistic.
231a. Nor do players.

Posted by: Rasumichin Aug 25 2009, 02:43 PM

232. There is no such thing as a chocobo cyberzombie. This goes doubly for homebrewed Mentor Spirits.
233. I am no longer allowed to specialize Heavy Weapons in Megatron.
234. I am retroactively forbidden from taking Martial Arts (Rollerdisco).

Posted by: MorkaisChosen Aug 25 2009, 02:52 PM

233a. I am no longer allowed to specialise Pilot: Anthroform in Megatron.

235. Lofwyr is not an appropriate Prime Runner for a starting campaign.

Posted by: Angelone Aug 25 2009, 03:07 PM

236. Jello shots are not a new type of ammunition.
237. My character cannot break the 4th wall.
238. Sniffles are not a sympton of HMVV.

Posted by: Ard3 Aug 25 2009, 03:10 PM

239. Any gun that can fire more rounds in one combat turn than I can physically carry is vetoed.
240. "Spell range: touch" is not an excuse to slap the target across the face.
240a. Including the spell Awaken. Its funny only once.

Posted by: StealthSigma Aug 25 2009, 03:15 PM

241. I am no longer to make characters based on Vash the Stampede no matter how good he is with a gun. The GM gets too many headaches with my constant attempts to cause the situation to turn into an accidental disaster.
242. I am not allowed to play a male character who has a full body cyberization in the form of a female then try to seduce the other male PCs.
242a. I am not allowed to seduce the female PCs either.
242b. I am not allowed to seduce NPCs.
242c. I most certainly cannot attempt to seduce my PC.
243. I can no longer state that I am using generic circular logic to attempt to fool a machine without using an actual circular logic example to show the GM.
243a. I cannot use the same circular logic over and over once I discover one that the GM allows.

Posted by: MorkaisChosen Aug 25 2009, 03:20 PM

244. This may be madness; it is not, however, SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
245. "Early 21st-century Internet memes" is not an appropriate Knowledge skill.
245a. Not even if I obviously have 6 ranks in it OOC.
246. In future, "No. Just no." should not be interpreted as a double-negative, thereby allowing me to do whatever freakishly disturbing act spawned of insanity I was requesting.

Posted by: Gelthoth Aug 25 2009, 05:10 PM

247. I may not use the rules for clustering and Tac-Net to use enough microdrones to give myself a bonus to combat so large it makes the Street Sam weep.
248. Especially if I have the Pacifist Negative Quality.
249. Summoning a spirit that looks like Captain Planet does not make the Toxic Shaman automatically run in fear, swearing revenge.
250. My Technomancer can not make every commlink on the planet ring at the same time. Again.
251. I am not allowed to call the Renraku Arcology the Tomb of Horrors.
252. Not even if I take the time to make one of the floors accurate to the original adventure.
253. My team members all have commlinks with sufficient Signal. I should stop asking them "Can you hear me now?" every two meters in open ground.
254. My team members commlinks are for their use only.
255. Even if I am the Hacker.
256. Even if having all the commlink speakers playing "Best of Queen" at max volume confused the Security Guards.
257. No longer allowed to sing Queen songs at the table.

Posted by: Kerenshara Aug 25 2009, 05:42 PM

258. I am not allowed to take Knowledge (Late 20th/Early 21st century film) so I can endlessly quote movie lines in-character.
259. I am not allowed to endlessly quote movie lines out-of-character, either.

Posted by: Bull Aug 25 2009, 05:43 PM

260. When our group is playing Shadowrun, D&D, Star Wars, and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tales_from_the_Floating_Vagabond, we are not allowed to planeshift into our other games and gather up all our PCs together for one "Epic DUngeon Crawl".
261. If we do manage this, we are not allowed to give our Shadowrun PCs Lightsabers, Blasters, Portal Holes, Wands of Magic Missile or Fireballs, Talking Swords, and Inflatable Love Pitbull Dolls are not allowed to be given to the Shadowrun Characters for when they return home.

(This happened in college, briefly. It was a bad plan smile.gif)

Posted by: Kerenshara Aug 25 2009, 05:45 PM

262. I am not allowed to play the rave fight music from Blade on my laptop every time we go into a fight.
263. I am not allowed to play any fight music from The Matrix on my laptop every time we go into a fight.
264. I am not allowed to play any fight music from any movie on my laptop every time we go into a fight.

Posted by: StealthSigma Aug 25 2009, 05:57 PM

265. I am no longer allowed to design costumes for a run after having given the 5 runners a navy costume, indian costume, cowboy costume, construction worker costume, and biker costume.
265a. I am most certainly not allowed to use those costumes to attempt to run surveillance on a target.
265b. I am not allowed to lead the rest of the team to a gay bar to evade capture.
265c. I am no longer allowed to plan missions and escape routes after watching Wayne's World.

266. I am not allowed to create paradoxes via time traveling should I discover a method to travel back in time.
26a. I am no longer allowed to create paradoxes without time traveling. Once was more than enough.

267. I am no longer allowed to run an adventure where I recruit the players to steal from Lofwyr.
267a. Especially if the Mr. Johnson consists of 12 dwarves and a human hermit mage.

268. Despite the fact that the cosmology of Warcraft obviously includes multiple planets, I am not allowed to rationalize that warlocks opened a portal from Azeroth to Earth to allow myself to play Thrall, Tyrande, Jaina, or any other major Warcraft character.
268a. In the event of Azeroth warlocks opening portals to Earth, I am not to claim that Lofwyr is Deathwing, and Dunklezahn was Alexstraza.
268b. Likewise, I am not to rationalize that the awakening was warlocks on Azeroth opening portals to Earth.

269. The Zerg and Protoss do not exist in the same universe as Earth, even though Terrans came from Earth and the Zerg and Protoss have been around for far longer than the time difference between 2070 and then.
269a. Since the zerg do not exist, I am not allowed to say my character is the Queen of Blades or any other similar character that would have massive psionic power and the ability to control Zerg. This is not due to the zerg existing as much as how unbalanced such a character would be.

Posted by: RunnerPaul Aug 25 2009, 06:30 PM

270. I am no longer allowed to use a stack of my hardcovers of four separate editions of core rulebook to smack a n00b player upside the head for saying "The mage with the shotgun looks hot, but why is the elf hacker going to stab that terminal with his cyberspurs?" -- from now on, the stack is required to be a minimum of 5 hardcovers thick, to include SR4A.

Posted by: Angelone Aug 25 2009, 06:54 PM

QUOTE (RunnerPaul @ Aug 25 2009, 01:30 PM) *
270. I am no longer allowed to use a stack of my hardcovers of four separate editions of core rulebook to smack a n00b player upside the head for saying "The mage with the shotgun looks hot, but why is the elf hacker going to stab that terminal with his cyberspurs?" -- from now on, the stack is required to be a minimum of 5 hardcovers thick, to include SR4A.

I've always wondered that myself. Iirc the cord is in his other hand. Did Dodger even have cyberspurs?

271. I'm not allowed to ponder the above.
272. Zap Branigan is not my old school chum.
273. I am not allowed to have a character with the word death as any part of their name.
274. I am not allowed to make prayer reciting snipers.
274b. Or gunbunnies.

Posted by: Stahlseele Aug 25 2009, 07:11 PM

QUOTE
I've always wondered that myself. Iirc the cord is in his other hand. Did Dodger even have cyberspurs?

PROGRAM CARRIERS !
Seriously, what do they teach you people in (shadow)school nowadays? x.x

275. I am NOT allowed to play Indiana Jones in Shadowrun.

Posted by: BookWyrm Aug 25 2009, 07:18 PM

178b. Of course the Cake is a lie. That's what they WANT you to believe.
178c. There are, however, cookies.
178d. No, you can only have one.
178e. No, it isn't any kind you like.
178f. No, you can't have it now, you'll spoil your dinner.

Posted by: Draco18s Aug 25 2009, 08:24 PM

179 No, I may not play the re-awakened AI that was Captain Chaos.

180 No, I may not play a time traveling velociraptor, even if the Rifts book says its ok.

Posted by: crash2029 Aug 25 2009, 08:25 PM

181: As a GM I am no longer allowed to have Dr. Who crossover adventures.
181a: Nor am I allowed to have Stargate SG-1 crossovers.
182: The UFO photos in Dunklezahn's will are not sufficient justification for brining in X-Com as an organization.
183: I am not allowed to anchor nova spells to bullets when going up against vampires.
184: I am not allowed to learn anchring anymore.
185: I am not allowed to take the "Fun with monowire" knowledge skill anymore.
186: I am not allowed to gold plate my Renraku Manservant drone.
187: If I get an idea that makes me giggle I am probably not allowed to do it.
188: I am to stop using Kim Possible as inspiration for grapple gun maneuvers.
189: If I create a gunslinger I am not allowed to call him McGraw.
189a: Or "The Waco Kid."
189b: Or Texas Red.
190: I am not allowed to listen to Marty Robbins while creating characters.
191: If I am inspired at all while watching The A-Team I am not allowed to do it.
192: Awesomness is not a valid reason for attempting ridiculously difficult actions.
193: If I intentionally make my characters actions more difficult to increase coolness, I may be subject to physical blows from my party members.

Posted by: Bull Aug 25 2009, 08:30 PM

Wow. YOu guys fail badly at numbering wink.gif

QUOTE (Kerenshara @ Aug 25 2009, 01:45 PM) *
262. I am not allowed to play the rave fight music from Blade on my laptop every time we go into a fight.
263. I am not allowed to play any fight music from The Matrix on my laptop every time we go into a fight.
264. I am not allowed to play any fight music from any movie on my laptop every time we go into a fight.


300. I am not allowed to play music from Final Fantasy when I win a fight.

Posted by: StealthSigma Aug 25 2009, 08:36 PM

QUOTE (Bull @ Aug 25 2009, 04:30 PM) *
Wow. YOu guys fail badly at numbering wink.gif



300. I am not allowed to play music from Final Fantasy when I win a fight.


Bookwyrm was responding to the cake is a lie rule, and I think people got messed up by that.

300a. I am not allowed to play music from Final Fantasy while I fight.

Posted by: Stahlseele Aug 25 2009, 08:54 PM

301. I am NOT allowed to declare that MORTAL KOMBAT haas begun!
301a. I am NOT allowed to QUOTE Mortal Kombat!
301b. I am NOT allowed to play MUSIC from Mortal Kombat!
301c. I am NOT allowed to Play CHARACTERS from Mortal Kombat!

Posted by: X-Kalibur Aug 25 2009, 08:58 PM

QUOTE (crash2029 @ Aug 25 2009, 04:25 PM) *
182: The UFO photos in Dunklezahn's will are not sufficient justification for brining in X-Com as an organization.


That is a plenty sufficient reason!

300b. Especially if said music is by The Black Mages
---
302. Not allowed to start an all mage band using the name from 300b.

Posted by: Bull Aug 25 2009, 08:59 PM

QUOTE (Stahlseele @ Aug 25 2009, 04:54 PM) *
301. I am NOT allowed to declare that MORTAL KOMBAT haas begun!
301a. I am NOT allowed to QUOTE Mortal Kombat!
301b. I am NOT allowed to play MUSIC from Mortal Kombat!
301c. I am NOT allowed to Play CHARACTERS from Mortal Kombat!


302. Ditto for Street Fighter characters.
302a. Especially Street Fighter: The Movie
302b. And even more especially STreet Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li
303. I am not allowed to make characters based off GI Joe.
303a. Unless Bull is my GM. But then we'll be facing off against COBRA.
304. I am not allowed to make large scale anthro-form drones that I can ride in.
305. I am especially not allowed to call them Battlemechs.
305a. Unless Caine Hazen is my GM. But then we'll be facing off against Clan Jade Falcon.

Posted by: Traul Aug 25 2009, 09:00 PM

1) I am not allowed to get more than one penile implant,
1b) and it has to be located at the anatomically correct position,
1c) or at least on a covered area.

Posted by: MKX Aug 25 2009, 09:22 PM

307. I am not allowed to write FREE CANDY on our GMC Bulldog
308. I am not allowed a wizard robe and hat
309. I am not allowed near any type of chemical manufacturing facility
310. I am not allowed a Barret sniper rifle ever again

Posted by: Stahlseele Aug 25 2009, 09:29 PM

311. I am NOT allowed to have FUN WITH MODULAR CYBER-STUFF as a Hobby on a Character Sheet. Especially if anything can be made into a modular plug.

Posted by: Draco18s Aug 25 2009, 09:55 PM

QUOTE (Traul @ Aug 25 2009, 04:00 PM) *
1) I am not allowed to get more than one penile implant,


312 I am not allowed to use the "bulky" cyberlimb modifier on penile implants.
313 Especially not for the express purpose of implanting a jackhammer

Posted by: InfinityzeN Aug 25 2009, 09:57 PM

314. I can not produce my own http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NASA_Chicken_Gun, even if I have the proper Build/Repair skills to do so.
314a. If I somehow acquire a chicken cannon, I can not use it to fire rubber chickens stuffed with C4 into downtown Tampa.
314b. The restriction applies to all major cities.
314c. Replacing the rubber chicken with any other object stuffed with C4 is also disallowed.

Posted by: Draco18s Aug 25 2009, 10:03 PM

315 I am no longer allowed to cast any mind altering spell on another PC

Posted by: Kerenshara Aug 25 2009, 10:05 PM

316. I am not allowed to have teddy bear vessels for malignant and grouchy Kami spirits wearing Fritz helmets leap head-first off the top of bookcases at the party yelling "Banzai!" impaling the characters with the spike.

317. I am not allowed to have a character who carries a Jibber-Jabber around and claims it is their prophet, in the name of their god Vaklam.
317a. Really.
317b. Seriously.
317c. I'm not kidding.

(Vaklam backwards is what? *grin*) *EDITED SPELLING ON THIS LINE - GRUMBLE*

Posted by: InfinityzeN Aug 25 2009, 10:21 PM

318. I am no longer allowed to play a rigger
318a. If I somehow find myself playing a rigger, he can not be named 'Toy Maker'
318b. Even if he is not named 'Toy Maker', he can not be modeled after 'Toy Maker' from 'The Dark Knight' animated series
318c. He especially can not have a 6 in Demolitions
318d. If I somehow play a rigger with a high Demolitions, dressing a 'Bust a move' teddy bear in an SS uniform, stuffing it with C4, and having it goose step up to a target is not allowed
318e. They especially can not play the Nazi anthem or use any Nazi phrases
318f. I am not allowed to install all the vehicle mods in a model car
318g. Even if it is a nitro car that runs on gas (they already hit 60+ mph for crying out loud!)
318h. I am not allowed to pack 5lbs of C4 into a nitro car, no matter how much I modify it
318i. I am not allowed to model a Bust a Move as a chicken and make it run around laying 'eggs' (IE pimped grenades that look like eggs)
318j. The easter bunny is not an acceptable replacement for a chicken
318k. I can not mod Bust a Moves till they replicate all the dolls in 'Puppet Master', no matter how cool an idea it is
318l. Warhammer 40k armies are also not allowed
318m. That applies to Warhammer armies as well

I could go on a long time here...

Posted by: Kerenshara Aug 25 2009, 10:22 PM

319. I am not allowed to have a stuffed c'thulu toy and stuff the guts of a "Tickle Me Cookie Monster" into the head so that the tentacles flop around while it makes a deep laughing sound.
319a. I am especially not allowed to give one of them to a young child.

Posted by: X-Kalibur Aug 25 2009, 10:27 PM

QUOTE (Kerenshara @ Aug 25 2009, 06:22 PM) *
319. I am not allowed to have a stuffed c'thulu toy and stuff the guts of a "Tickle Me Cookie Monster" into the head so that the tentacles flop around while it makes a deep laughing sound.
319a. I am especially not allowed to give one of them to a young child.


319b. I am not allowed to give said doll a voice that asks if they will "sell their soul for a cookie".

Posted by: Kerenshara Aug 25 2009, 10:33 PM

320. I am not allowed to play "Freak the Mundanes" in-game; it is (sadly) no more apropriate in the 6th World than the real world.

321. I am not allowed to have a watcher spirit sit outside a society dame's afternoon tea and make rude noises.
321a. I am not allowed to have a watcher spirit teach toddlers and small children new and colorful metaphors.
321b. I am not allowed to have a watcher spirit float behind a Lone Star beat officer repeating jokes about port products.
321c. I am not allowed to have a watcher spirit float behind a Lone Star beat officer
making squeaky shoe noises.
321c. I am not allowed to have a watcher spirit float behind a Lone Star beat officer making donut jokes.

Posted by: X-Kalibur Aug 25 2009, 10:37 PM

322. The reasoning "It was fun in the Genesis version!" is not an ample reason to raid Renraku.
322a. Nor Lone Star
323. I am no longer allowed to make sociopathic characters who do not speak the same language as the party.
324. I am no longer allowed to drive the rigger's car when I have no driving skill.
324a. Not allowed to drive the rigger's car when I ~do~ have driving skill.

Posted by: Kerenshara Aug 25 2009, 10:38 PM

325. I am not allowed to summon Watcher Spirits.

Posted by: Ophis Aug 25 2009, 10:45 PM

326 "I know the rules better than the devs" is not a valid justification for anything.
327 Even if it's true.
328 Especially if they've admitted it.
329 There are no immortal orks.
330 Even if there are pictures.

Posted by: StealthSigma Aug 25 2009, 10:58 PM

QUOTE (Kerenshara @ Aug 25 2009, 05:05 PM) *
(Valkam backwards is what? *grin*)


Maklav. Perhaps you meant Malkav.

Posted by: Bull Aug 25 2009, 11:04 PM

331. I am not allowed to stand outside the ACHE yelling "LFG ACHE. 25 Heroic. Need Tanks and Healers" anymore.
332. I am not allowed to refer to a shadowrun as a "raid".
333. I am not allowed to ask if Mr. Johnson has a yellow exclamation ARO over his head.
333a. Nor am I allowed to ask if any other NPCs have them either.
334. Even if I paint my gun purple, it is still not Epic, nor does it do better damage.
335. Ditto for my armor. Nor does purple armor increase my attributes.

Posted by: Kerenshara Aug 25 2009, 11:05 PM

QUOTE (StealthSigma @ Aug 25 2009, 05:58 PM) *
Maklav. Perhaps you meant Malkav.

*grumbles and mouses over to the "edit" button*

Posted by: MorkaisChosen Aug 26 2009, 10:41 AM

336. Just because I've painted my gun blue doesn't mean people wearing black, red, orange, yellow or green armour aren't allowed to touch it.
337. No suit-wearing elf adept is allowed to get confused and call Mr Johnson "Mr Anderson".
337a. Especially not if I draw out the vowels.
338. My magician's Tradition maynot be "Cthulhu cultist."

Posted by: StealthSigma Aug 26 2009, 12:01 PM

339. The most tactically sound option is not always the option that causes the most damage to the most enemies.
339a. Especially when the said group of enemies is locked in melee combat with the street sammy.
339b. Especially when the tactical option you're considering is throwing a grenade in the melee because you think the sammy will survive.

Posted by: MorkaisChosen Aug 26 2009, 01:00 PM

339c. Especially if said grenade is likely to cause extensive structural damage and destroy the mission objective.

Posted by: StealthSigma Aug 26 2009, 01:29 PM

340. Explosives is not a suitable first response when my character is asked his opinion during planning.
340a. Especially if the mission is to obtain a target.
340b. Double if the target is a living creature.
340c. It's just a flat out wrong idea if the explosives in question are actually a nuclear device.

Posted by: Erl of Ingst Aug 26 2009, 02:07 PM

341. I am not allowed to breed Bust-A-Move Bears with rabbits to create biodrones.
341a. Even if it would be really cute.

Posted by: MorkaisChosen Aug 26 2009, 02:07 PM

340d. The same goes for THOR.

Posted by: Draco18s Aug 26 2009, 03:52 PM

QUOTE (MorkaisChosen @ Aug 26 2009, 05:41 AM) *
336. Just because I've painted my gun blue doesn't mean people wearing black, red, orange, yellow or green armour aren't allowed to touch it.


342 I am no longer allowed to create an AI character who thinks that it is Friend Computer and attempt to execute party members for treason.
343 I am not allowed to clone other party members so that I can execute them for having mutant powers.

Posted by: WyldKnight Aug 26 2009, 04:06 PM

344. I am no longer allowed to take city sewer layout as a knowledge skill, find my enemies home, place the explosives on a trigger attached to their sewer system, and laugh maniacally as the next time they take a crap their whole house explodes.
344b. Double if we were supposed to take them alive
344c. Triple if all it does is damage the sewer system and cause a literal shit storm that covers all my team mates. I'm fine though, I was smart enough to bring an umbrella.
345. I am no longer allowed to double cast orgy on a group of nuns and a group of priests while Mass is beginning.
346. I am no longer allowed to take the knowledge skills Early 20th century media storage and store all my important data on floppy disks. The look on the CorpSecs raid team when they found them was priceless, even more so when they didn't notice the drone behind them with a freeze foam thrower.
347. I am no longer allowed to raise an army of squirrel bio drones to bite off the nuts of my enemies.

Posted by: Draco18s Aug 26 2009, 04:19 PM

348 I am no longer allowed to take the Knowledge skill "20th Century Role Playing Games" in an attempt to know the plot.

Posted by: WyldKnight Aug 26 2009, 04:28 PM

349. I am no longer allowed to forge IDs that say we are official booby inspectors, no matter how stupid that bimbo was.
350. I am no longer allowed to to make a gatling shotgun, gatling grenade launcher, or chicken gatling gun. Even if our team voted to keep all three of them.
351. I am no longer allowed to create a "gravity gun" using magic, publish how it's done, and then have my logic character buy a hazmat suit, get the grav gun, and go crazy chucking toilets at people.

Posted by: X-Kalibur Aug 26 2009, 04:38 PM

352. I am not allowed to make a technomancer with the handle GLaDOS
352a. Nor am I allowed to summon sprites of her
352b. Or find her as a rogue AI

Posted by: Draco18s Aug 26 2009, 04:39 PM

351b. Or saw blades, crates, corpses, or any other object.

Posted by: WyldKnight Aug 26 2009, 04:47 PM

351c. And I am never allowed to make him a blunt weapons adept with a crowbar as his weapon of choice.
352. I am no longer allowed to to make a christmas tree missile and launch at the target on christmas morning while she is opening presents with her family. Even if a mini santa on the missle goes say HO HO HO while flying.

Posted by: tech2.0 Aug 26 2009, 05:32 PM

353. I an not allow to say It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion,
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
The hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
any time

Posted by: 'Sconnie Aug 26 2009, 05:37 PM

354: I am not allowed to use bouncy d6s, even as a GM.
355: I am not allowed to make a Hungarian-English Linguasoft based on the Dirty Hungarian Phrase book sketch.

Posted by: Chrysalis Aug 26 2009, 05:47 PM

356: I am not allowed to turn NPCs into biodrones so I can have sex with them.
357: This goes doubly for PCs.
358: I am not allowed to describe what I am doing, while masturbating at the table no matter how discreet I may be.

Posted by: Kerenshara Aug 26 2009, 09:33 PM

359. I am no longer allowed to distrust the GM. The GM is my friend. Distrusting the GM is treason. Treason is punishable by having my character sheet incinerated. I am no longer allowed to distrust the GM.

Posted by: X-Kalibur Aug 26 2009, 10:26 PM

360. I am not allowed to lead the run. It draws fire.
360a. I am not allowed to bring up the rear during a run. It draws fire.
360b. I am no longer allowed on runs. It draws fire.

Posted by: remmus Aug 26 2009, 10:38 PM

361. I´m no longer allowed to just shoot the main bad guy when he makes a classic evil speech as the GM workt so hard making that speech.
362. I´m no longer allowed to tie cute ribbons to the tip of a elven team members ear tips when asleep.
362b. especially if it is a male elf.

Posted by: Kerenshara Aug 26 2009, 10:47 PM

363. I am no longer allowed to interrupt Box Text.
363a. Even if my character sheet says I have that ability.
363b. Even if I have a special token that says I can.
363c. Even if I have recently bribed the GM with food or Holy Caffiene.

Posted by: Rasumichin Aug 26 2009, 11:07 PM

364. I am not the inventor of Arachno Spores, the deadly spores with the funny name.
365. Orks are not "usually Chaotic Evil".
366. No matter how many dice i have in Leadership, using Commanding Voice and shouting "Burn, you fuckers!" does not lead to spontaneous self combustion. This goes doubly for characters who are thinly veiled Preacher rip-offs.
367. My plan cannot revolve around a mutant juggernaut and the target company's bring a pet to work day, at least not two times in a row.

Posted by: Traul Aug 27 2009, 12:38 AM

368) I'm not allowed to play an amnesic rigger who talks to his trusty black Westwind 3K.

Posted by: Cucuy Aug 27 2009, 12:58 AM

369. Walking into a wall and peeing your pants in a den of junkies is not "acting casual."

370. It doesn't matter how bored you are while on surveillance duty; if the van is a-rockin', you're fired.

371. Nobody wants to hear about hobo sex.
371a. There is no Walk of Shame if you're spying from the alleyway that said hobo lives in.
371b. Painting "Walk of Shame" on the surveillance van's metal step is not an acceptable use of the team's resources.

372. Putting an eyepatch on an albino Barrens rat does not entitle me to claim that Danger Mouse is my sidekick.

373. Staged incontinence is not a Get Out Of Jail Free card.

374. Marketing "The ultimate in discreet feminine hygiene products" by combining cotton and mono wire is not an acceptable sales pitch, and will not get me in to see the boss man. This plan should be scrapped.
374a. Even if MacGuyver would have dreamed about such a fabulous merging of first aid, weaponry, and stealthy femme technology.
374b. MacGuyver's ghost will not directly cause anyone to rue anything, most especially days in which N/PCs made business decisions that I deemed "poor" at the time.
374c. Said ghost of MacGuyver is not right behind you. Nor is a three-headed monkey, a vermicious knid, Reptar, Trogdor, The Bushwackers, the world's largest ball of chewing gum, or anyone's momma.
374d. I shouldn't play with mono wire that doesn't belong to me.

375. I cannot have ChooChooBear as a sidekick. Even if I visit Glow City with a can of pink spray paint and a dream that won't be denied.

(edited to correct numbers)

Posted by: remmus Aug 27 2009, 01:26 AM

376. saying it´s Halloween is not a excuse to claim that the full combat armour I´m wearing "will be mistaken for a costume"

Posted by: Brazilian_Shinobi Aug 27 2009, 02:56 AM

Ok, how the hell nobody said this one already?

377: I may not quote Monty Python in ANYWAY whatsoever during the game.
378: And if I do, I may nont complain if a preces shows up and beheads my character and it disappears just after.

Posted by: Telion Aug 27 2009, 03:00 AM

379. I may not buy a math SPU for the purposes of calculating the average velocity of a swallow carrying a coconut. African or European.

Posted by: Draco18s Aug 27 2009, 03:01 AM

QUOTE (Brazilian_Shinobi @ Aug 26 2009, 09:56 PM) *
377: I may not quote Monty Python in ANYWAY whatsoever during the game.
378: And if I do, I may nont complain if a preces shows up and beheads my character and it disappears just after.


379 Or, really, any TV show, movie, stage play, cartoon, anime, radio broadcast, or Terry Pratchett.

Posted by: MorkaisChosen Aug 27 2009, 09:13 AM

380. People quite frequently do expect the Spanish Inquisition.

Posted by: Chrysalis Aug 27 2009, 10:31 AM

QUOTE (StealthSigma @ Aug 25 2009, 02:28 PM) *
209. I'm not allowed to play a doctor who has an unusually high demolitions skill and a psychosis negative quality, just so I have justifiable reasons to implant bombs into my teammates.
209a. I'm not allowed to plant bombs in terminally ill teammates to use as distraction for the getaway.
210. I'm not allowed to play any character that makes the big bad evil guy blush.
211. I'm not allowed to play a character with a high seduction skill just to get the big bad evil guy laid.
211a. Contrary to popular belief, big bad evil guys are not ALL evil because they didn't get laid.
212. The psychotic doctor from 209 is never allowed to be on the same team as the seductress from 211.
212a. In the event that rule 211 is violated, the psychotic doctor is not allowed to implant a bomb in the seductress to use her in a pinch to kill someone she is trying to seduce.


Addendum:
212b. The psychotic doctor from 209 is never allowed to be the same character as the seductress from 211.

Posted by: StealthSigma Aug 27 2009, 01:08 PM

381. I am not allowed to play a rigger to create a "Cylon Army".

382. I am not allowed to initiate a global thermonuclear war to wipe out all but about 50,000 human survivors to initiate a trek across space to find a new home world.

383. In the event that the GM should cause a global thermonuclear war that wipes out all but the 50,000 human survivors in space, I am not allowed to call my character Apollo, Starbuck, or any other allusion to any other character from Battlestar Galactica.

384. I am no longer allowed to attempt to recreate the movie 'Wargames' in order to cause rule 382 to be violated.
384a. Should I attempt to recreate 'Wargames' the GM will only provide me with games to play other than 'Thermonuclear War'.
384b. The GM will only allow me to play Chess, which will lead to a real game of Chess. If the GM beats me in Chess, then I suffer significant bio-feedback damage.

385. Retired 5-star General is not a suitable background story for a ShadowRunner.
385a. Even if the country he was a General for no longer exists.

386. I am no longer allowed to always keep a bad date on my character in case I encounter an annoying monkey. The GM didn't like it when I killed his spy.

Posted by: Godzilla1 Aug 27 2009, 02:17 PM

387. I am not allowed to sit in a room whittling small wooden gnomes when the protagonist is plotting to kill us in his underwater lair... even if it does seem like a good idea at the time.
388. playing with frag grenades in a small concrete room is never a good idea... even if the johnson dares you to do so...

Posted by: MorkaisChosen Aug 27 2009, 02:24 PM

389. The phrase "It's a Johnson" does not carry the same connotations of gut-wrenching terror as in Discworld.
390. I am not to refer to a "Bloody Stupid" Johnson, even if they aren't very good at their job.

Posted by: Erl of Ingst Aug 27 2009, 06:20 PM

391. I need to be wearing my goggles on my face in order to get the vision enhancements.

Posted by: MusicMan Aug 27 2009, 08:32 PM

392. I am not allowed to base AIs on Friend Computer or SHODAN
393. Anything resembling The Many is not allowed
394. I am not allowed to TPK, even if they deserve it
395. I am not allowed to give each member of the party conflicting objectives
395a. Especially if said objectives will lead to the party killing themselves off
295b. Even if it is what Mr. Johnson would have done in character
396. I am not allowed to skip the BBG speech this ALWAYS leads to a violation of rule 394

Posted by: rathmun Aug 28 2009, 12:06 AM

397. Just because the rules say I can make a FA Thunderstruck Gauss Rifle doesn't mean that I should. damage 18p, AP -half -4 is too much.
397a. No, the fact that a main battle tank has a bigger gun is not an excuse for me to make the above abomination.
397b. If I somehow get hold of a tank, I can not make it's main cannon into an FA weapon.
397c. If I somehow violate 397-397b, then the GM will start equipping the opposition with them too.

Posted by: Warlordtheft Aug 28 2009, 12:11 AM

QUOTE (MusicMan @ Aug 27 2009, 03:32 PM) *
394. I am not allowed to TPK, even if they deserve it
395. I am not allowed to give each member of the party conflicting objectives
395a. Especially if said objectives will lead to the party killing themselves off
395b. Even if it is what Mr. Johnson would have done in character

395C. For reference, see rule 225 regarding ambushes.

Posted by: Draco18s Aug 28 2009, 05:22 AM

QUOTE (MusicMan @ Aug 27 2009, 03:32 PM) *
392. I am not allowed to base AIs on Friend Computer or SHODAN


See Rule 342

Posted by: MorkaisChosen Aug 28 2009, 09:09 AM

Rule 398. You do NOT talk about Shadowrun.

Posted by: Chrysalis Aug 28 2009, 02:40 PM

393. A silk dress is not proper attire at the gaming table
394. Doing make-up and talking to clients is not allowed at the table.
394 a. Even if you run a sex chat line
395. Even if you are a man.

Posted by: MorkaisChosen Aug 28 2009, 04:21 PM

393b. While a silk dress is improper attire, it is preferable that you find an alternative before removing it, as the other method usually proves distracting (and occasionally messy).

Posted by: Warlordtheft Aug 28 2009, 04:43 PM

393c. Especially if you are a man.

Posted by: BookWyrm Aug 28 2009, 05:23 PM

393d. The silk dress is only appropriate if you can make it work.
393e. Bring a bulky jacket, opaque shall or SOMETHING to cover yourself up with so as not to distract the other players.
393f. Absolutely no male gamer will wear the silk dress. This is roleplaying, NOT a puke-fest.

Posted by: Chrysalis Aug 28 2009, 05:36 PM

393g. Exceptions can be made if the male gamer is a ladyboy. Buth both hands have to be on the table at all times.

Posted by: 'Sconnie Aug 28 2009, 06:01 PM

394. Absolutely no characters based on anyone from Excel Saga.

Posted by: Ego Mcmahon Aug 28 2009, 06:25 PM

395. I am not allowed to cause the third matrix crash, even if the GM allows my alter ego to create the technology
396. I am not allowed to go to an empty crime mall in a ghoul infested city
397. I am not allowed to ignore the racial maximums, even for a one time mess around charachter
398a. I am not allowed to bust up a spikes party
398b. If the run calls for me too bust up a spikes party i am not allowed to teabag anyone i knock unconcious
398c. if the rule in 398a is violated i am not allowed to skullfuck anyone i knock unconcious
399. I am not allowed anywhere near aces, even for a johnson meet
400. I am not allowed to break into the team faces penthouse with my ancients girlfriend and fuck like an animal on his 4 poster bed.

Posted by: crash2029 Aug 28 2009, 09:53 PM

X: I am not allowed to play a piasma shapeshifter.
X+1: If I attempt to play a character inspired by anything Monty Python did I am to be hit in the head with a large halibut. Twice.
X+2: Fish & chips does not refer to merrow beetle-heads.
X+3: Zen is not a combat drug. I am no longer to use it as such.
X+4: Hacking my teammates commlinks and running Miracle Shooter™ in the middle of a firefight is not allowed. Even though it's funny as hell.
X+5: I am no longer allowed access to nitroglycerine.
X+6: Nitrous oxide and CS are not interchangeable.
X+7: I am no longer allowed to make laes potato chips.
X+8: Duct tape is not the shadowruners' secret weapon.
X+9: If I am hired for an extraction I am to assune it is NOT the dental variety.
X+10: Because it was awesome is not sufficient justification for demolishing a building. Structure hits are an exception.
X+10a: If I am doing a structure hit the objective does not involve attempting to cause a building to reach escape velocity.

Posted by: Stahlseele Aug 28 2009, 10:10 PM

401. I am NOT allowed to make Train-Tunnels into Make-Shift CANNONS by blocking off one End and filling it up with explosives . .
402. I am NOT allowed to do the same with buildings.
403. I am NOT allowed to only call TIMBER as a warning when colapsing buildings.

Posted by: Draco18s Sep 1 2009, 12:06 AM

QUOTE (crash2029 @ Aug 28 2009, 04:53 PM) *
X+7: I am no longer allowed to make laes potato chips.


You only think you ate just one.
410. I am no longer allowed to quote this list at any time.

Posted by: Traul Sep 1 2009, 12:21 AM

411. I am not allowed to torture magicians with stim patches (only works in SR3).

Posted by: IceKatze Sep 1 2009, 12:38 AM

hi hi

412. I am not allowed to knock spacecraft, orbital stations or suborbital transports out of the sky by using the physical barrier spell and a telescope.
413. While not expressly prohibited, it is considered unsportsmanlike to cast force on heal on people I have just injured in order to prevent them from getting serious healing.

Posted by: BookWyrm Sep 1 2009, 04:39 AM

414. I will be Gibbs-slapped (see NCIS) if I EVER break any of the rules listed in this thread.
414a. Hard.
414b. But not by Mark Harmon; he is a busy man.
414c. And not by ANYONE who is going to get a rush out of such an act. This is correction, NOT stimulation.
414d. And NOT with any kind of implement.
414e. And there will be NO getting a running start before striking.

Posted by: DarkKindness Sep 1 2009, 04:51 AM

414f. A Shock Hand does not count as an implement for purposes of 414d, and may be used for correction of behavior as listed in 414.

Posted by: Angelone Sep 1 2009, 01:25 PM

415. There is no such thing as strip shadowrun.
416. Hamsters are just pets nothing else.
417. I am not allowed to start a dance dance revolution
418. Or any other kind of revolution.
419. Having ranks in fashion and law doesn't make me the fashion police.
420. I can't base characters off of anyone in the movies Half Baked or Harold and Kumar.

Posted by: StealthSigma Sep 1 2009, 01:53 PM

421. This is not a positive quality for snipers called "JFK Magic Bullet".

Posted by: Chrysalis Sep 1 2009, 04:29 PM

422: Cheech and Chong are not acceptable role models for PCs, even if they exist in Shadowrun.
423: I am not allowed to start up a poser gang, especially if it's based on a popular TV series.

Posted by: 'Sconnie Sep 1 2009, 05:15 PM

424: I am not allowed to play my Leather Devils ganger using a bad impersonation of Paul Lynde, Bruce Vilanch, or Ross the Intern.
425: I am not allowed to play any character based on Bob Ross, not even a violent and demented version of Bob Ross.
426: As a GM, My BBEG may not punish someone by exiling them to Detroit.
427: Said BBEG may not have a cyberhand with interchangable implements including a sword, a vibrator, and a blow dryer.
428: Said BBEG may also not "build a fighting force of extraordinary magnitude."
429: Simsense theaters do not show movies in "Feel-around"
430: No matter how advanced cars have become in 2070, no automobile has a specail alarm to warn you that your fly is open.
431: I may not start a charity called the United Appeal for the Dead.
432: The United Appeal for the Undead is right out, too.
433: There is no board game about Dunkelzahn assasination conspiracy theories.
434: I am to keep any other references to Kentucky Fried Movie out of the campaign.
435: No fucking Tachikomas. EVER.
436: When Playing a campaign set in Austrailia, I am not allowed to encourage everyone to name their characters "Bruce."

Posted by: Stahlseele Sep 1 2009, 05:27 PM

QUOTE
435: No fucking Tachikomas. EVER.

Why not?

Posted by: 'Sconnie Sep 1 2009, 05:34 PM

QUOTE (Stahlseele @ Sep 1 2009, 06:27 PM) *
Why not?


There's nothing more annoying then four tachikomas talking at once.

Posted by: DWC Sep 1 2009, 05:38 PM

QUOTE ('Sconnie @ Sep 1 2009, 12:34 PM) *
There's nothing more annoying then four tachikomas talking at once.


Sure there is. Five.

Posted by: Chrysalis Sep 1 2009, 05:59 PM

QUOTE ('Sconnie @ Sep 1 2009, 07:15 PM) *
436: When Playing a campaign set in Austrailia, I am not allowed to encourage everyone to name their characters "Bruce."

436 a. Same holds true with Scotland.

Posted by: Stahlseele Sep 1 2009, 06:02 PM

QUOTE ('Sconnie @ Sep 1 2009, 07:34 PM) *
There's nothing more annoying then four tachikomas talking at once.

Ever seen the end of GITS SAC 2nd Gig?

Posted by: Bugfoxmaster Sep 1 2009, 06:19 PM

QUOTE (Chrysalis @ Sep 1 2009, 10:59 AM) *
436 a. Same holds true with Scotland.


436b. Similiar concepts hold true for Ireland and "Darby", Germany and "Wilhelm", "Adolf", and "Siegfried", and Latin American Countries with "Juan", "Carlos" or "Jose"
437. Drop Bears should not be used as home security devices
438. Regardless of the "style versus results" debate, some things are always right out (like Barney suits, nerf guns, and auto-injectors filled with "Chemical X"
439. Avoid, when possible, bio-drone rabbits. The results are never good.
440. Using Fire Elementals to warm your coffee (or for the poor people, soy-kaf) is tacky

Posted by: Screaming Eagle Sep 1 2009, 08:12 PM

441. I will NOT get cute with monofiliment wire or weapons in any way. The same goes for my players. Long live the truce, may we all live in one piece.
441a. Magic fingers and a monowhip IS "getting cute".
441b. So is the monowire net gun and its derivatives.
441c. So are drones with monowire strung between then moving at high speed at neck and/or ankle and/or groin height
442. The heading "yeah right" or similar on the conceilability table does NOT mean there is no roll and it is automaically hidden.
443. Essence loss is NOT to be used to "keep score"
444. Background count generated by character actions will NOT be used to "keep score"
445. The GM will NOT decline bribes.
446. Nor will they aid the players if they break any of the rules above.

Posted by: Chrysalis Sep 1 2009, 11:35 PM

447. I will not dye the GM's scrotal hair during game.
448. I will stop recommending the tattoo parlour as a gaming place, I will also not allow this time to be used for getting my tattoo worked on as well as gaming.

Posted by: BishopMcQ Sep 1 2009, 11:40 PM

447. As a GM, I will not use playtest material on my players without properly warning them first.
447a. Even if they are NDA'd and regularly playtest new material.
448. Warform, Chimeric Juggernaught biodrones are never to be used.
448a. Especially when possessed.
448b. Nor should they be used as orbital bombardment.
449. Wrapping a cow in Rating 12 Fire Resistance will not save it from burning up during bovine bombardment.
450. I will not run any games based on Tequila outside of GenCon.
451. I will not take tequila shots while running or planning for any games.

Posted by: Kerenshara Sep 1 2009, 11:48 PM

QUOTE (Bugfoxmaster @ Sep 1 2009, 01:19 PM) *
439. Avoid, when possible, bio-drone rabbits. The results are never good.

439a. Especially when said rabbit is equipped with a switch-blade
439a-I. Doubly so if the rabbit has a speaker which makes the sound "ka-klick!"
439a-Iα. Triply so if afterwards the speaker says "Time to die, nerd-boy!"

Posted by: BishopMcQ Sep 2 2009, 12:13 AM

I object to rule 439, bio-drone rabbits are both fun and profitable. biggrin.gif

Posted by: Draco18s Sep 2 2009, 04:25 AM

452 I am not allowed to "shoulder mount" a "pepper box" any form of projectile explosive to keep my hands free for other things.

Posted by: Tachi Sep 2 2009, 07:42 AM

453. Redneck characters are not allowed to play with nuclear weapons or anit-matter, even if the player R 1.

Posted by: Erl of Ingst Sep 2 2009, 07:55 AM

454. I am not allowed to do anything if I say or think the words, "_________ is/are both fun and profitable."

Posted by: BookWyrm Sep 2 2009, 02:50 PM

QUOTE (Bugfoxmaster @ Sep 1 2009, 01:19 PM) *
439. Avoid, when possible, bio-drone rabbits. The results are never good.


439b. If the Troll in my group starts imitating Tim The Enchanter, I DO NOT have permission to drop the Holy Hand Grenade down his shorts.
439c. If the rest of my party starts doing various scenes form Monty Python and the Holy Grail, I am NOT allowed to shoot them.
439d. If we do end up at Castle Anthrax, I'm staying behind. Naughty, evil, wicked, bad Zoot must be punished.

Posted by: Kerenshara Sep 2 2009, 04:17 PM

QUOTE (BookWyrm @ Sep 2 2009, 09:50 AM) *
439a. If the Troll in my group starts imitating Tim The Enchanter, I DO NOT have permission to drop the Holy Hand Grenade down his shorts.
439b. If the rest of my party starts doing various scenes form Monty Python and the Holy Grail, I am NOT allowed to shoot them.
439c. If we do end up at Castle Anthrax, I'm staying behind. Naughty, evil, wicked, bad Zoot must be punished.

Renumber starting at 439b - I already grabbed 439a up above. *grin*

Posted by: Erl of Ingst Sep 2 2009, 04:23 PM

455. I will not attach LTA to a sports car then proclaim, "Where we're going we don't need roads."

Posted by: Kerenshara Sep 2 2009, 04:35 PM

QUOTE (Erl of Ingst @ Sep 2 2009, 11:23 AM) *
455. I will not attach LTA to a sports car then proclaim, "Where we're going we don't need roads."

455a. I will not add ANY modification to a vehicle that calls for 1.21 Gigawatts!

(Thank you Erl of Ingst for getting that verdamt! grapping song stuck in my head!)

Posted by: Bugfoxmaster Sep 2 2009, 05:20 PM

QUOTE (BookWyrm @ Sep 2 2009, 06:50 AM) *
439a. If the Troll in my group starts imitating Tim The Enchanter, I DO NOT have permission to drop the Holy Hand Grenade down his shorts.
439b. If the rest of my party starts doing various scenes form Monty Python and the Holy Grail, I am NOT allowed to shoot them.
439c. If we do end up at Castle Anthrax, I'm staying behind. Naughty, evil, wicked, bad Zoot must be punished.


439c. Addendum I: The Castle Anthrax is hereby declared a cultural landmark for its peril-inducing atmosphere
439c. Addendum II: All the eightscore blondes and brunettes must be spanked. and then you know what comes next...

456. Using a fleet of helicopter gunships to stage an attack on corporate headquarters is only allowed if 'Ride of the Valkyries' is played by the GM
457. Laser weaponry is not to be used for carving letters into the moon. Regardless of whether that is feasible or not.

Posted by: Draco18s Sep 2 2009, 05:25 PM

QUOTE (Bugfoxmaster @ Sep 2 2009, 01:20 PM) *
457. Laser weaponry is not to be used for carving letters into the moon. Regardless of whether that is feasible or not.


Reminds me of when Chairface (from The Tick) did this. Letters at that scale wouldn't be readable; there simply isn't space on the observable size of the moon. Shame.

Posted by: Kerenshara Sep 2 2009, 05:30 PM

458. I am not to make "air quotes" whenever I say the word "laser".

Posted by: Angelone Sep 2 2009, 06:06 PM

459. I am not allowed to pester the rigger for frequent flyer miles.
460. Aztechnology doesn't have taco tuesdays.
461. God told me to do it is not a valid excuse for anything.
462. I am not allowed to start my own cult.
463. No more theme music.

Posted by: Screaming Eagle Sep 2 2009, 07:01 PM

464. No PC shall gain access to THOR shots or other futuristic weapons of mass destruction.
465. In the event I am unable to prevent such a thing from occuring without "heavy handing" it I will not stop the player from digging as deep a grave for themselves as they like by using it to break the setting over their knee.
465a. In the stupidly unlikely event the player above does not abuse the hell out of this power they shall be richly rewarded in karma, they will need it. For running away. Probably from whats left of Aztecnology. Cause who doesn't want those guys gone?
466. I will not make the big D, or any great dragon for that matter, into a dracolich with Spirit pacts and Hidden Life.
467. I will stop telling my players about the option to become immortal and unkillable by the above means solely to make them suffer unimaginably for their hubris.
467a. Killing them for hubris is still fair game though.

Posted by: Maelstrome Sep 2 2009, 08:01 PM

QUOTE (Angelone @ Sep 2 2009, 02:06 PM) *
462. I am not allowed to start my own cult.


i break this atleast once per character, regardless of what game we happen to be playing.

Posted by: StealthSigma Sep 2 2009, 08:53 PM

QUOTE (Angelone @ Sep 2 2009, 02:06 PM) *
461. God told me to do it is not a valid excuse for anything.


461a. Likewise, telling the rest of the party that God "told me I would be okay, but he's pretty sure you're fucked." is not acceptable.
461b. Especially if my character is Irish.

Posted by: Chrysalis Sep 2 2009, 11:26 PM

468. Sympathy is not next to syphilis in the dictionary
469. Sexual provocation is not what you do to the GM when you run out of edge
469. a. Nor is fellatio
469. b. Nor is dressing up as a garden gnome if that is his kink.
470. Cat ears do not make me anymore attractive
470. a. nor hide the extra 200 pounds

471. I shall not kill off this thread by posting things that cause potential players and GMs to take out their eyes.

Posted by: Erl of Ingst Sep 3 2009, 01:31 PM

QUOTE (Angelone @ Sep 2 2009, 12:06 PM) *
459. I am not allowed to pester the rigger for frequent flyer miles.


459a. A rigger is not allowed to ask for boarding passes in the middle of combat.

Posted by: MKX Sep 3 2009, 01:46 PM

472. Another Phys-AD with a monowire weed-whacker, Reach +2 weapon.
473. Even if its just a little an electric one

Posted by: Screaming Eagle Sep 3 2009, 01:57 PM

474. I will not validate breaking the rules by saying its good roleplaying.
474a. this will not stop me, it just cannot be the only validation.
475. I will not violate common sence, logic or the laws of physics in game and validate it by saying it is in the rules.
475a. similarly: this will not stop me, it just cannot be the only validation.
476. I am not allowed to play or create a Toxic Blood shaman of an Insect spirit tradition. The aforestated character especially cannot be a vampire of any stripe. Never again Bill.

Posted by: BookWyrm Sep 3 2009, 04:41 PM

QUOTE (Kerenshara @ Sep 2 2009, 11:17 AM) *
Renumber starting at 439b - I already grabbed 439a up above. *grin*


Done and corrected.

Posted by: Bugfoxmaster Sep 3 2009, 05:26 PM

477. First things lets do, lets kill all the lawyers
478. Unless they're OUR lawyers. Those can live
479. The rules are an excuse to break reality
480. Reality is an excuse to break the rules
481. Common sense is an excuse to break reality and the rules
482. For the above reasons, the cake is a lie
483. This was a triumph

Posted by: Draco18s Sep 3 2009, 06:02 PM

QUOTE (Bugfoxmaster @ Sep 3 2009, 01:26 PM) *
482. For the above reasons, the cake is a lie
483. This was a triumph


484 I am not allowed to "Make a note here" about a "HUGE SUCCESS"

Posted by: Angelone Sep 3 2009, 06:24 PM

Nothing to see here people.

Still alive

Posted by: Angelone Sep 3 2009, 06:25 PM

485. No AI's named Glados.

Posted by: X-Kalibur Sep 3 2009, 07:02 PM

QUOTE (Draco18s @ Sep 3 2009, 01:02 PM) *
484 I am not allowed to "Make a note here" about a "HUGE SUCCESS"


486. Aperture Science and Black Mesa are not real companies.
486a. And I am not allowed to create them.
486b. These points of data do not make a beautiful line, we're not out of beta or releasing on time

Posted by: BishopMcQ Sep 4 2009, 03:03 PM

487. Upon burying a dozen orks in the Barrens, I am not allowed to make jokes about a new Ork underground.
487a. Even if it felt appropriate at the time.
488. I am not allowed to run over the Johnson with an Ares Citymaster in an attempt to save her.
488a. She doesn't know that it was just a glitch as I drove over her to hit BBG during his monologue.
489. Saying "she used Hand of God" about an NPC who is paying us for protection is insufficient reason to object to having my pay docked after placing the NPC is great peril.
490. As a GM, I am not allowed to spend several months of the campaign with the runners trying to figure out who shot JR.
491. Having the players wake up at the end of the campaign and get unplugged from a UV host is a hack and is never to be done.

Posted by: StealthSigma Sep 4 2009, 03:08 PM

QUOTE (BishopMcQ @ Sep 4 2009, 11:03 AM) *
487. Upon burying a dozen orks in the Barrens, I am not allowed to make jokes about a new Ork underground.


487a. While in the Barrens, I am not allowed to replicate "Barrens Chat" and constantly tell the party Chuck Norris and Mr. T facts.

Posted by: Chrysalis Sep 4 2009, 03:38 PM

492. I am not allowed to get drunk.
493. I am not allowed to get the GM drunk
494. I am not allowed to play strip poker for edge

Posted by: Bladerunner Sep 4 2009, 04:46 PM

491. I am not allowed to improvise a rocket launching system by explaining to the GM that my Troll is just that strong.

491a. Even if he's using grappling line to swing missiles like a bola

Posted by: Hartbaine Sep 4 2009, 05:08 PM

496. I'm not permitted to name my asian Minotaur 'Mu-Kao'.

Posted by: Draco18s Sep 4 2009, 07:13 PM

QUOTE (Hartbaine @ Sep 4 2009, 12:08 PM) *
492. I'm not permitted to name my asian Minotaur 'Mu-Kao'.


Can I use that at some future point? It'd be perfect the next time I play Jade Claw (an athropomorphic RPG set in feudal Japan, all the races are from the zodiac--Iron Claw is the feudal Europe setting with different races, they're compatible, and you can do really fun things like sneaky elephants).

492b. Nor am allowed to name an eastern drake Ryuji (it's funnier if you know a little Japanese; "Ryuji" means dragon-man)

Posted by: BishopMcQ Sep 4 2009, 07:36 PM

Umm, guys, and lady, your numbers are off.

Chrysalis--492-494
Blade-495
Hart-496

Posted by: Bugfoxmaster Sep 4 2009, 08:12 PM

Whoops. I guess that makes me 497 and onwards, huh?
I'll leave number 500 for someone with something more profound.
497. I'm not allowed to have sex with an ork female just to have a full litter of ork-babies for the sacrifice metamagic
498. There will be no yelling about 'shine-boxes', or else the speaker will be 'kept there'. If you know what I'm saying. Fughedaboudit
499. Infecting people with Ebola is not cool. This is also applicable to threatening people to 'sell their children to a bunraku parlor where the clients are infected with [enter virus here] and don't use condums', along with similar ideas

Posted by: Kerenshara Sep 4 2009, 11:30 PM

500. If my human character is infected with HMMWV I, I may not have a t-shirt in-character which reads "I got bit, drained, smacked in the back of the head with a shovel, and burried in a grave and all I got was this miserable t-shirt".

Posted by: Bugfoxmaster Sep 4 2009, 11:40 PM

And there's the 500 on this. Now we begin the move towards making it 1000!!!

Posted by: RunnerPaul Sep 5 2009, 12:48 AM

QUOTE (Angelone @ Sep 3 2009, 02:25 PM) *
485. No AI's named GladOS.


485a. Or SHODAN.
485b. Or Cortana.
485c. Or Durandal.

Posted by: Draco18s Sep 5 2009, 01:24 AM

QUOTE (RunnerPaul @ Sep 4 2009, 07:48 PM) *
485a. Or SHODAN.
485b. Or Cortana.
485c. Or Durandal.


485d. or MCP

Posted by: InfinityzeN Sep 5 2009, 01:28 AM

501. If there is any hint of a CoC theme to the game I am running, no old Metallica (Master of Puppets and Ride the Lightening LPs) may be played as theme music or before a big event. It tends to freak the players out too much.

(I actually did the above while running a Delta Green game. Players were not too happy with me.)

Posted by: Hartbaine Sep 5 2009, 06:37 AM

QUOTE (Draco18s @ Sep 4 2009, 02:13 PM) *
Can I use that at some future point?


If it somehow enriches your fun, by all means.

Posted by: Draco18s Sep 5 2009, 07:11 AM

QUOTE (Hartbaine @ Sep 5 2009, 01:37 AM) *
If it somehow enriches your fun, by all means.


Someone will hit me, I'm sure, but it'd be worth it. X3

Posted by: crash2029 Sep 5 2009, 08:58 PM

N: I am not allowed to make a cyborg that resides in a heavily modified GMC Sandal.
N+1: If, for some reason I do make one, at any time I say EX-TERM-I-NATE!!! I am to be bludgeoned with a halibut. Hard.
N+2: I am not to abuse the cyborg rules to make cybermen.
N+3: No, I cannot have a sonic screwdriver.
N+4: I am not allowed to leave ARO's at crime scenes that contain riddles with clues to my identity.
N+5: Spy vs. Spy is not appropriate material to gain tactical inspiration from.

Posted by: X-Kalibur Sep 5 2009, 09:02 PM

QUOTE (crash2029 @ Sep 5 2009, 04:58 PM) *
N+4: I am not allowed to leave ARO's at crime scenes that contain riddles with clues to my identity.


Why not? Isn't that why we have the signature quality?

Posted by: 'Sconnie Sep 5 2009, 09:50 PM

508. There is no 4chan on the Matrix, therefore, no /b/. Therefore, 4chanisms, and /b/isms are not allowed.
509. As a GM, I am to quit making pop culture references to 1960s, 1970s, and 1980s events, movies, music, and TV shows that the college kids in our group have never heard of.
510. The PCC Police in Los Angeles do not beat tourists sensless with thier batons a la http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3oTAqIiku4.
511. There is no Shadowrun verison of the Book of Erotic Fantasy.
512. I am to keep the Frank Zappa refernces to a minimum.

Posted by: Method Sep 5 2009, 10:26 PM

513. I may not learn a Slay [Grandma] spell. Ever.

Posted by: Lok1 :) Sep 5 2009, 11:01 PM


QUOTE ('Sconnie @ Sep 5 2009, 09:50 PM) *
509. As a GM, I am to quit making pop culture references to 1960s, 1970s, and 1980s events, movies, music, and TV shows that the college kids in our group have never heard of.

Hey you'd be suprised how many collage/highschool nerds actualy dig up old videos, comic books, and geniral memorbelia from past areas because its so drecking awsome.
QUOTE (crash2029 @ Sep 5 2009, 08:58 PM) *
.
N+5: Spy vs. Spy is not appropriate material to gain tactical inspiration from.

The fact that I brock out laughing at this and I was born in the mid 90s confirms this. (current MAD issues suck now adays)

Posted by: Lok1 :) Sep 5 2009, 11:09 PM

514: I cannont make a street samuria/Adapt called "Captian Ubisoft"
514a: Names dirved from Sam fisher, Desmond Miles, Atair, or the guy from metal gear cannot be subsitued for above.
514b: Said character can not perform detialed moves from Prince of Persia, Splintercell, or Assasin's creed. No matter how well a discribe them
514c: Infact to prevent 514 it would probibly be best if I'm never allowed to play another Adapt or Street Samuria (to many infrigements of 514)
515: "But it worked in A-Team" Is not a viable excuse
515a: Even if it did.
516: My character cannot start the game by being called while in a monster suit acting in a b-sim. (6th world b movie)
517: Regradless I WILL break 514.....
again

Posted by: Kerenshara Sep 5 2009, 11:51 PM

516a. I may not meet Johnson as a hotdog cart-pushing Chinese woman named Mrs. Lee.

Posted by: Kerenshara Sep 5 2009, 11:55 PM

518. I may not play the Modal Nodes "Cantina" themes from Episode IV just because bars in the seedier parts of Seattle are starting to look like Chalmun's Cantina in the rougher part of Mos Eisley with all the changelings, odd metatypes and pink mohawks.

Posted by: Kerenshara Sep 6 2009, 12:09 AM

519. I am not allowed to be "on the Jazz" whenever things get "interesting" like the proverbial Chinese curse.
520. I am not allowed to "love it when a plan comes together" when we survive a situation where I might be tempted to violate 519.
521. I am not allowed to shoot a teammate with NarcoJetTM so we can get around their objections to methodologies for executing a 'run.
522. I am not allowed to slip NarcoJetTM into a teammate's milk so we can get around their objections to methodologies for executing a 'run.
522a. Or their burger.
522b. Or any food item.
523. I am not allowed to hit a teammate on the back of the head with a piece of lumber so we can get around their objections to methodoligies for executing a 'run.
524. I may not push an unconcious teammate wearing a parachute out of a perfectly good aircraft in flight.

Posted by: Chrysalis Sep 6 2009, 12:26 AM

525. I may not talk when my mouth is full.
526. I am not allowed to steal animals from the petting zoo to start up a bunarku parlor.

Posted by: Kerenshara Sep 6 2009, 01:04 AM

QUOTE (Chrysalis @ Sep 5 2009, 07:26 PM) *
526. I am not allowed to steal animals from the petting zoo to start up a bunarku parlor.

*crying and laughing and sobbing all at the same time*

That's just AWFUL!

Posted by: Draco18s Sep 6 2009, 01:32 AM

527. I am not allowed to buy a flight suit, some electrical components, colored lenses, and some lights, and use any build/repair skill in order to make a GhostBusters proton pack and matching suit.

528. Especially if I can justify how said equipment would actually work against spirits.

Posted by: MusicMan Sep 6 2009, 02:51 AM

529. My rigger may not jump into a drone and then announce that he is moving "on the bounce."

Posted by: Tymeaus Jalynsfein Sep 6 2009, 02:58 AM

QUOTE (Draco18s @ Sep 5 2009, 07:32 PM) *
527. I am not allowed to buy a flight suit, some electrical components, colored lenses, and some lights, and use any build/repair skill in order to make a GhostBusters proton pack and matching suit.

528. Especially if I can justify how said equipment would actually work against spirits.




Now These I Really, Really Like...

Posted by: Draco18s Sep 6 2009, 03:26 AM

QUOTE (Tymeaus Jalynsfein @ Sep 5 2009, 10:58 PM) *
Now These I Really, Really Like...


Hehe. http://farm-fresh.deviantart.com/art/The-College-Drag-Part-2-118315106
(Note: this is part 9 of a series, so if you want to read it all start http://farm-fresh.deviantart.com/art/Operation-Dragon-Part-1-114716143 then http://farm-fresh.deviantart.com/art/Here-s-My-Two-Weeks-Part-1-115686056 and then http://farm-fresh.deviantart.com/art/The-College-Drag-Part-1-117843456, the first link being 2 of 14, part 3 finishing that adventure).

Posted by: Chrysalis Sep 6 2009, 05:56 PM

QUOTE (Kerenshara @ Sep 6 2009, 03:04 AM) *
*crying and laughing and sobbing all at the same time*

That's just AWFUL!


But immensly funny, no?

Posted by: Mortified Penguin Sep 6 2009, 06:56 PM

531. I will not possess a possession spirit with another possession spirit so that I can possess while I possess.
532. I may not make characters based on the following: Batman, a 40k Space Marine, or Wormwood.
533. Creating the http://s287.photobucket.com/albums/ll139/edwin_melendrez/?action=view&current=3704727c.flv is right out.

Posted by: Matsci Sep 6 2009, 08:14 PM

534. Thermite is not the solution to all closed doors.
535. Nor is it the solution to walls.
536. Or any barrier, for that matter.

Posted by: CanadianWolverine Sep 6 2009, 08:36 PM

537a. I am not allowed to use a defaulted matrix information search, chemistry, and explosives skills with common shadow runner items and kits in an extended test to make birthday presents for other runners, no matter how much they deserve it.
537b. Even if the recipe is something a toddler could accidentally stumble upon.

Posted by: Mortified Penguin Sep 6 2009, 08:50 PM

538. I will not have the club's sound system play Bach's Toccata & Fugue in D Minor when the PC vampire walks in.
539. Even if he tries to change the music and he has the Gremlins quality at rank 4.

Posted by: Chrysalis Sep 7 2009, 08:05 AM

540. I am not allowed to run the Rocky Horror Picture Show as an adventure, even though I think it would be the best adventure ever.
541. I am not allowed to base any of my characters on characters from the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
541 a. Or use quotes from the movie.
542. I am not allowed to talk about Shadowrun: the Musical based on such musical classics as Rent, Repo: The Genetic Opera, and Rocky Horror.

Posted by: Blade Sep 7 2009, 09:24 AM

QUOTE (Chrysalis @ Sep 7 2009, 10:05 AM) *
542. I am not allowed to talk about Shadowrun: the Musical based on such musical classics as Rent, Repo: The Genetic Opera, and Rocky Horror.


I wanted to do a game of "Shadowrun: The Musical" once: the players would create their character's playlist (to fit their characters) and the GM would have his own playlist. The game would start by playing a random song in the list which the GM would use to improvise the story. The players would have to act accordingly to the song (and do a lot of dancing) and could answer with one of their own songs.
I've never tried it though.

Posted by: RunnerPaul Sep 7 2009, 01:15 PM

QUOTE (Chrysalis @ Sep 7 2009, 04:05 AM) *
540. I am not allowed to run the Rocky Horror Picture Show as an adventure, even though I think it would be the best adventure ever.

I've actually done this one. Had the runners trying to quietly track down the party responsible for tampering with a batch of chips from the studio that was publishing the simsense remake. Seems the chips had been turned into personafixes, and the studio wanted to get to the bottom of it before the mainstream media connected the Rocky Horror Simsense Show to the rash of ritualistic and in some cases, cannibalistic ("Meatloaf for dinner again?") serial killings.

Posted by: Draco18s Sep 7 2009, 04:09 PM

QUOTE (RunnerPaul @ Sep 7 2009, 09:15 AM) *
I've actually done this one. Had the runners trying to quietly track down the party responsible for tampering with a batch of chips from the studio that was publishing the simsense remake. Seems the chips had been turned into personafixes, and the studio wanted to get to the bottom of it before the mainstream media connected the Rocky Horror Simsense Show to the rash of ritualistic and in some cases, cannibalistic ("Meatloaf for dinner again?") serial killings.


That's amazing.

Posted by: Chrysalis Sep 7 2009, 05:32 PM

I had a chat with a friend of mine I knew from a few years back, we may be writing Shadowrun: the musical! Or something comparable.

Posted by: Stahlseele Sep 7 2009, 08:59 PM

543. I am NOT allowed to remember my great ancestors Nazi Super Science for Military Purposes
544. I am NOT allowed to play a Magician named Richard. Or he will get his Arms ripped off.

Posted by: blindfox Sep 7 2009, 09:06 PM

QUOTE (Stahlseele @ Sep 7 2009, 11:59 PM) *
544. I am NOT allowed to play a Magician named Richard. Or he will get his Arms ripped off.


Ha!

Posted by: Veritomancer Sep 8 2009, 04:01 AM

545. As a corollary to number 544 I am not allowed to play an elf mage who's tradition is "Vancian Magic" and who's shadow name is Vaarsuvius.

546. I am not allowed to run an aspected magician (conjurer) who's magical tradition is "Pokemon Trainer" and who summons and binds poke-spirits.

546(a). I am not allowed to have an ally spirit that appears as a pikachu or any other manner of pocket monster.

547. I am not allowed to have any shadowrun character of mine decide to play Vampire: the Requiem in game and then have his character play Paranoia in game and then have his character play D&D in game and then have his character invent a game with strange "horseless carriages" and "boomsticks" that nonetheless has magic and dragons and play it.

547(a). Especially not if I have said D&D character invent a character that has an identical name to my character in Shadowrun.

548. I am not allowed to play a Vodoun magician who creates zombies simply so he can order them to follow young children around.

549. No matter how skilled my character is with a knife, he did not "refuse to use a gun during the gun test" when getting his firearms license.



Posted by: Trillinon Sep 8 2009, 05:05 AM

550. Sentient Hover-beetles are not an acceptable form of transportation.

Posted by: Draco18s Sep 8 2009, 06:02 AM

551. "Pun-Pun is not meant to be played" does not imply that "Pun-Pun is not meant to be played in D&D" and therefore is legal to play in ShadowRun, just so I can punk Lofwyr.

Posted by: StealthSigma Sep 8 2009, 02:06 PM

QUOTE ('Sconnie @ Sep 5 2009, 05:50 PM) *
511. There is no Shadowrun verison of the Book of Erotic Fantasy.


That's because it would be redundant. Shadowrun -already- talks about half the stuff in SR4/SR4a that Book of Erotic Fantasy "adds" to D&D....

QUOTE (Lok1 :) @ Sep 5 2009, 07:09 PM) *
514: I cannont make a street samuria/Adapt called "Captian Ubisoft"
514a: Names dirved from Sam fisher, Desmond Miles, Atair, or the guy from metal gear cannot be subsitued for above.


To 514a, when you said Desmond Miles, I kept thinking Desmond and Miles from Lost... a guy who travels time and can speak with the dead. Now that's a winning combo. Also, Solid Snake's first name is David. However, I would say characters using Tom Clancy characters are suitable inspirations for Shadowrunners.......

552. My character is not allowed to believe that the history of Fallout will occur in the 6th World.
552a. That means he may not be a doomsayer mentioning that meta-humanity must build a large number of underground habitats to survive the upcoming hell-fury that will be unleashed in 2077 after the Chinese fail to conquer Alaska.

553. Despite how good Solid Snake makes it look, ground humping to crawl along the ground very slowly is not an acceptable solution to defeating motion sensors, even if the method works. There's far faster methods.
553a. In the event that ground humping is the only method to bypass the motion sensor, I am not allowed to "neglect" to disable the sensor after bypassing it to force the rest of the team to ground hump past it.

554. Tight form-fitting armor is only allowed for slender women and men with rock hard abs and firm butts.
554a. My overweight pizza gobbling hacker is not allowed to wear form-fitting outfits, ever.
554b. Especially if he is hanging around the face while the face is attempting to seduce a mark.
554c. He's especially not allowed to be shoving his face with food.
554d. I am not allowed to dress in tight form-fitting outfits to demonstrate what my characters are wearing.

555. I am no longer allowed to only take aim with firearms if the location of my take aim is the target's left eye with the explicit goal of turning him into a pirate. He is unlikely to survive the metamorphosis anyway.
555a. Nor am I allowed to take aim for a person's mouth in order to turn him into a ninja since ninjas "only have eyes for a face". He also is unlikely to survive the metamorphosis.
555b. In the event that I alter two opponents to look like a ninja and pirate using the above rules violations and they survive, I should not be surprised when they gang up on me rather than fight each other.

Posted by: CanRay Sep 8 2009, 02:34 PM

556. No longer allowed to ambush the PCs with picnic table-weilding Paris Hilton clones.
557. My NPC does not have the skill to use a Megalodon on a spit as an improvised weapon, even if it does sound really, really cool.

Posted by: wind_in_the_stones Sep 9 2009, 04:55 AM

558. I will not refer to teammates as "party members".
559. Nor missions as "adventures".

Posted by: Bladerunner Sep 9 2009, 03:01 PM

560. I do not get more "xp" if I kill more Knight Errant Security
561. Or any other thing deemed an "enemy"

Posted by: CollateralDynamo Sep 9 2009, 04:05 PM

562. I'm not allowed to kill our Johnson after the mission is over to get some more "phat l00tz".
562b. I'm not allowed to use the phrase "phat l00tz" ever again.
563. Just because my character is West Philadelphia born and raised, does NOT mean I should tell everyone "On the playground is where I spent most of my days".

Posted by: 'Sconnie Sep 9 2009, 04:16 PM

564. Absolutley no characters based on Minsc from Baldur's Gate. EVER.

Posted by: Warlordtheft Sep 9 2009, 04:17 PM

564b. No summing the animal spirit in the form of a miniturized giant space hamster named Boo and ordering it to "Go for the eyes Boo!"


565. After a fouled run, drop off the players in Lagos a month later with no memory of the previous month, nanites that will activate and kill them if they don't completes the mission, and their guide is a Sasabondsman.

Posted by: Draco18s Sep 9 2009, 05:39 PM

566. I am not allowed to "give the mouse a cookie" when referring to a rodent spirit.

Posted by: Bugfoxmaster Sep 9 2009, 05:51 PM

567. I will NEVER declare a spirit I summon (or that anyone else summons) to appear as a purple dinosaur, giant yellow bird, or semi-anthropomorphized green frog. EVER.
568. The answer to any given question is NOT 42. Or 43, for that matter.
569. I will not (as a GM) ever place large pieces of armor, weaponery, or sacks of money on/in the bodies of animals to be 'looted' by players.
570. I will never have to 'tank' a 'raid boss', and worry about 'healz' because the 'DPS' isn't doing its 'pew-pew'. And am I ever so glad...

Posted by: X-Kalibur Sep 9 2009, 06:11 PM

QUOTE (Chrysalis @ Sep 5 2009, 08:26 PM) *
526. I am not allowed to steal animals from the petting zoo to start up a bunarku parlor.


QUOTE (Jekyl and Hyde: Together Again)
"Just how low have I sunk?" BAAAA "That low?" BAAAA-HAAA


QUOTE
Biiiilly, you've been baaaaaaad


571. I am not allowed to make any characters who have FBT (Full Body Tourettes)
571a. Or based on ANY character from Crank

Posted by: Lok1 :) Sep 9 2009, 07:12 PM

572: I am not allowed to specialise in heavywepons(BFG)
573: I cannot make a cybersamuria with the battlecry "BOO YAA!"
574: Or "Go Go Gaget"
575: I cannot attempt to recreat KITT, or anything from nightrider.
576: My rigger cannot attempt anything that happend in "Dukes of Hazard" (That show rocks)
577: When my car is totaled after a high speed chase I cannot take it to my loyatly 5 mechanic contact named "Cooter"
578: The Cake is a lie.

Posted by: CollateralDynamo Sep 9 2009, 07:24 PM

QUOTE (Lok1 :) @ Sep 9 2009, 02:12 PM) *
575: I cannot attempt to recreat KITT, or anything from nightrider.


What!? That just isn't fair! I just bought a personafix for my drone rigger's uber van! How would it NOT be KITT's fatter older brother!?

579. I'm not allowed to be upset when the cybered attack dogs outside of the target facility ignore by my genius beggin' strip/aluminum foil cocktail distraction.

Posted by: Ears Sep 9 2009, 08:02 PM

580. No more cybered Surge-freaks who put 32 grenades downrange per combat round. And hit thanks to airburst. wink.gif

Posted by: Draco18s Sep 10 2009, 12:28 AM

581. I am not allowed to use the SURGE rules to create any of the Biker Mice From Mars
582. Or the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
583. I am in no way allowed to attempt to create http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_G.e.e.K.e.R as a PC in any form.

Posted by: Mister Book Sep 10 2009, 12:33 AM

QUOTE (Lok1 :) @ Sep 9 2009, 07:12 PM) *
578: The Cake is a lie.



The cake is truth, that you get any is the lie.

Posted by: Bugfoxmaster Sep 10 2009, 12:55 AM

I think we've covered the cake and lies a few times already here...

Posted by: TeknoDragon Sep 10 2009, 01:50 AM

584: Not allowed to make a dino-themed character (again)
584a: No kobolds, either
584b: Drakes are in the 'hell no' category
584c: Nothing with scales. Period.

585: I am not to do anything likely to be added to this list.

Posted by: MKX Sep 10 2009, 06:03 AM

586: I have not been allowed to run Shadowrun since 1995 as a GM, the reasons for which will remain unmentionable and unspoken for the rest of our natural lives.

Posted by: Tyro Sep 10 2009, 06:07 AM

QUOTE (MKX @ Sep 9 2009, 11:03 PM) *
586: I have not been allowed to run Shadowrun since 1995 as a GM, the reasons for which will remain unmentionable and unspoken for the rest of our natural lives.

*casts Mind Probe to find out*

Posted by: Angelone Sep 10 2009, 07:42 AM

287. No characters based off David Bowie or Prince.
288. No rockers at all really.
289. While hirlarious a gak cannon is not a practical weapon.
290. Noone from any of the Austin Powers movies.

Posted by: McAllister Sep 10 2009, 01:56 PM

Zip it!

Posted by: StealthSigma Sep 10 2009, 02:33 PM

591. I am not allowed to have a troll who uses a sledgehammer and incorporates the word hammer into his name an yell "Stop! Hammer time!" every time he acts.

592. I'm no longer allowed to play the song "Baby Got Back" whenever the team encounters a female dwarf, ork, or troll whether the female does or does not "Got Back".
592a. I'm not allowed to play that song when encountering female humans or elves that also "Got Back".
592b. It is not a compliment to play that song when encountering African American human females.
592c. I'm not allowed to play that song when encountering male character with huge posteriors either.

Posted by: Draco18s Sep 10 2009, 05:45 PM

593. I am not allowed to base a character off of Vincent Rubio (the velociraptor PI in Casual Rex) or any other character.
593a. ESPECIALLY Circe, who is not only drop dead sexy in scales, but has tailored pheromones that smell of exotic spices.

Posted by: Chrysalis Sep 10 2009, 07:31 PM

594. You are not allowed to create a wank character.*

*A wank character is a character of the opposite sex that you mentally nasturbate over. Identifiying features are porn star looks, porn star behaviour, and usually spend more time going through sultry behavior preluding on full sex. If a scene can be turned into porn it will be.

Posted by: Erl of Ingst Sep 11 2009, 04:11 AM

QUOTE (Chrysalis @ Sep 10 2009, 01:31 PM) *
594. You are not allowed to create a wank character.*

*A wank character is a character of the opposite sex that you mentally nasturbate over. Identifiying features are porn star looks, porn star behaviour, and usually spend more time going through sultry behavior preluding on full sex. If a scene can be turned into porn it will be.


But I mentally nasturbate over all my characters. What? I have a 'PnP written character' fetish.

Posted by: 'Sconnie Sep 11 2009, 07:25 PM

595: My Adept does not gain any additional powers from sporting an Afro or any other distinct hairstyle.
596: The spell is called Manabolt, not Kamehameha.
597: Or Nabehameha, for that matter.

Posted by: CanRay Sep 11 2009, 07:46 PM

QUOTE ('Sconnie @ Sep 11 2009, 02:25 PM) *
596: The spell is called Manabolt, not Kamehameha.
597: Or Nabehameha, for that matter.

Hadoken?

Posted by: StealthSigma Sep 11 2009, 07:49 PM

598: Just because the UCAS has incorporated parts of Canada does not mean that the UCAS now has branches of their military that are armed with hockey sticks and moose.

Posted by: Warlordtheft Sep 11 2009, 07:58 PM

599. No playing a game with the same type of dice as another player.
600. No posting a rule to post a rule barring me from posting rule 600.

Posted by: Chrysalis Sep 11 2009, 09:24 PM

598 a. I am not allowed to play an awaked moose with special forces experience

Posted by: Khyron Sep 11 2009, 09:49 PM

601. I'm not allowed to fire splash grenades filled with various hallucinogens into dance clubs
602. No shooting the party face with grenades
603. No grenades!
604. Don't mess with my guns and I won't mess with yours.

Posted by: Draco18s Sep 12 2009, 12:58 AM

QUOTE (Warlordtheft @ Sep 11 2009, 03:58 PM) *
599. No playing a game with the different size dice as other players.


Fixed. wink.gif

Posted by: SpasticTeapot Sep 12 2009, 05:07 AM

v

QUOTE (Cucuy @ Aug 26 2009, 07:58 PM) *
Nor is ..., a vermicious knid....


Why would I worry about Knids? I've got a glass elevator!

Posted by: Orcus Blackweather Sep 12 2009, 08:23 PM

QUOTE (Khyron @ Sep 11 2009, 02:49 PM) *
601. I'm not allowed to fire splash grenades filled with various hallucinogens into dance clubs
602. No shooting the party face with grenades
603. No grenades!
604. Don't mess with my guns and I won't mess with yours.


Please refer back to rule # 558

605. As a rigger I will not personafix any of my vehicles to resemble the characters of Cars.
606. I will not add a persona to any weapon to make it resemble weapons from "Who Framed Roger Rabbit"
606 a. I will not add voices to my bullets, and have them speak like Texans as they are enroute to target.

Posted by: Hartbaine Sep 12 2009, 11:00 PM

607. I'm not permitted to have a fixer named 'Ralphie' ever again.
608. I'm not permitted to monologue about a club sandwich a cold Mexican beer or 10,000 nuyen/night hookers.
609. When taking our cybered out stripper street sam to the Street Docs to get patched up I'm not longer permitted to state that I'm "going to get Cherry 2000 fixed up." (if she was conscious I would have been hit)

610. I'm not permitted to negotiate hostage situations any longer. Apparently when the bad guy informs you he has 7 hostages, shooting one of them then looking to him and saying "Now you have 6, and I still have 14 bullets in my gun, how's your math Sparky?" is not how the situation is meant to be handled. (Who knew?)

Posted by: CanRay Sep 13 2009, 12:22 AM

QUOTE (Hartbaine @ Sep 12 2009, 06:00 PM) *
610. I'm not permitted to negotiate hostage situations any longer. Apparently when the bad guy informs you he has 7 hostages, shooting one of them then looking to him and saying "Now you have 6, and I still have 14 bullets in my gun, how's your math Sparky?" is not how the situation is meant to be handled. (Who knew?)

*Makes Notes* Really now? Huh, didn't know that one.

Posted by: TheMidnightHobo Sep 13 2009, 12:54 AM

611. I am not allowed to take "Vomit" as an Exotic Ranged Weapon skill.

Posted by: Orcus Blackweather Sep 13 2009, 02:36 AM

QUOTE (TheMidnightHobo @ Sep 12 2009, 05:54 PM) *
611. I am not allowed to take "Vomit" as an Exotic Ranged Weapon skill.

612. Nor fling poo.

Posted by: Hartbaine Sep 13 2009, 04:32 PM

613. When the PCs are low on supplies I'm no longer permitted to have a creepy guy in a blue longcoat, standing next to a blue torch flag them over and offer to sell them supplies by repeating "Whad're ya buyin'?" "Whad're ya sellin?" and consistently refer to them all as 'Stranger'. (Kudos to anyone who gets the reference, I had the table floored with a brief intermission while we waited for pizza one evening.)

Posted by: Rasumichin Sep 13 2009, 04:52 PM

QUOTE (CanRay @ Sep 11 2009, 08:46 PM) *
Hadoken?


No, that's an adept power.

Posted by: Stahlseele Sep 13 2009, 05:41 PM

No, THAT's FIGHTERDOKEN!

614. I am NOT allowed to build a full-Body-cyber-replacement with a pair of PPK's in the Arms and call it a Warhawk.(i am afraid only germans/battletech-players might get this one)

Posted by: Degausser Sep 13 2009, 05:44 PM

614: "What the GM doesn't want me to know" is not an acceptable knowledge skill.
614a: Even if it were, I cannot take the aptitude quality to have 7 in that skill.
615: "Because I read it in a book" is not an acceptable argument to persuade a GM to let you start with a skill of 7
616: I am not allowed to have a canid shapeshifter Adept, with a transforming car.
616a:Even if allowed, his name cannot be "Penry" "Hong Kong Phooey" or "Number One Super Guy."
617:I cannot have a Dwarf (Gnome Variant) adept who wields two daggers, and is clinically insane.
617a: Especially if his name is "Belkar"
617b: Even if allowed, he is not "a sexy, shoeless, god of war."

Posted by: ShimmerGeek Sep 13 2009, 06:21 PM

QUOTE (Hartbaine @ Sep 13 2009, 05:32 PM) *
613. When the PCs are low on supplies I'm no longer permitted to have a creepy guy in a blue longcoat, standing next to a blue torch flag them over and offer to sell them supplies by repeating "Whad're ya buyin'?" "Whad're ya sellin?" and consistently refer to them all as 'Stranger'. (Kudos to anyone who gets the reference, I had the table floored with a brief intermission while we waited for pizza one evening.)


Yay! Kudos for me!

So tempted by that now twirl.gif

Posted by: Lok1 :) Sep 14 2009, 01:09 AM

618: "Seattle public bathroom location" is not an acceptiable knowledge skill

Posted by: Draco18s Sep 14 2009, 01:44 AM

QUOTE (Lok1 :) @ Sep 13 2009, 09:09 PM) *
618: "Seattle public bathroom location" is not an acceptiable knowledge skill


618b. Neither is "Secret underground lairs."

Posted by: 'Sconnie Sep 14 2009, 06:50 PM

619: No PCs based on any character ever played by Sasha Baron Cohen.
620: There is no traditional Kazakh folk song called "Throw the Elf down the well."

Posted by: 'Sconnie Sep 14 2009, 07:26 PM

621: Absolutley no characters based on anyon from The Red Green Show.
622: The same goes for any character from Trailer Park Boys.
622a: This goes double for Jim Lahey, Bubbles, or Ricky.
622b: None of my characters may have a dual personality that is a demented ventriliquist's dummy.

Posted by: crash2029 Sep 14 2009, 08:19 PM

QUOTE ('Sconnie @ Sep 14 2009, 03:26 PM) *
621: Absolutley no characters based on anyon from The Red Green Show.


Ahh, man! And I was already at #768 on the "1001 uses for duct tape on a run" list! I guess that means my ninja-assassin has to change his street name away from "The Handymans' Secret Weapon" too. Well, fudge. frown.gif

Posted by: tisoz Sep 14 2009, 09:12 PM

QUOTE (BishopMcQ @ Sep 4 2009, 11:03 AM) *
487. Upon burying a dozen orks in the Barrens, I am not allowed to make jokes about a new Ork underground.

LOL
623) Not allowed to name my PC Hugh Jourgen.
623a) Not allowed to have my Mr. Johnson contact's real name Hugh Jourgan.

Posted by: Warlordtheft Sep 14 2009, 09:13 PM

QUOTE ('Sconnie @ Sep 14 2009, 03:26 PM) *
621: Absolutley no characters based on anyon from The Red Green Show.
622: The same goes for any character from Trailer Park Boys.
622a: This goes double for Jim Lahey, Bubbles, or Ricky.
622b: None of my characters may have a dual personality that is a demented ventriliquist's dummy.


622c:One does not name the spirits you've bonded Darryl, Darryl, Darryl and Darryl.
622c1. Especially if they are different types.

Posted by: Khyron Sep 14 2009, 09:15 PM

623: I am not allowed to pour rubber cement or superglue down a hacker's datajack as a prank
624: I am not allowed to use superglue to bind people's hands when lacking rope or cuffs.
625: I am not allowed to superglue an empty pistol into a johnson's hands and push him out the door and into a group of lonestar.

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