There's no way Im going to do this justice:
The group is running through the Renraku Arc during the time of Deus occupation. It's been a marathon session of 'quietly sneak in, assess the situation, and escort a VIP out ' which has just gone completely sideways. It's about 5am and all the players are starting to lose their battles with sleep deprivation. One of the characters (a mage named mumbler) happens to be deaf and gets bored with the split debate of 'hiding inside a wall nook until the patrols stop looking for them' and 'let's just eat our own pistols because none of us are getting out of here alive' ; he decides to step out into the hallway. Immediately alarm klaxons begin to sound.
Now, everybody else freaks out,but not mumbler (whose player stays strictly in character) who continues to wander around the area. The rest of the team decide the jig is up and race out with him. In this method actor moment, he looks at the other players with this innocent look and in this badly done marlee matin impression just calmly states 'guess we're gonna move now huh?'
They go racing around,fighting off drones and guards and decide to run into a service shaft where they intend/hope to climb their way to freedom via this really long ladder. They start racing up as the firefight escalates and mumbler (again) suddenly remembers he has a bound spirit he's been using to offset drain and provide the occasional distraction with a single service left . He sends that down the ladder to delay their pursurers 'I want you to go down there and just drop the bomb on those &*^%$)$%.
Everyone's overjoyed as the spirit just starts unleashing hell and they see explosions and falling bodies...and it turns to horror when the wall/ladder starts to buckle under the stress of combat. Mumbler screams out (still in bad marlee matin voice) NOOOOOOOOO- YOURE OUT OF SERVICES MOTHER(%&$*(%)^ GO AWAYYYY!
and everyone just lost it. I don't even remember if they got out alive.

I ran a game where one of the runs had the players kidnapping the lead singer of a Troll Trash Metal Band. I can't remember what happened exactly but hilarity ensued.

It was funny for me...

So an NPC is walking the crew through the run so that they don't get lost. The run is a simple little rescue. The kid of a medium sized family business has been kidnapped by the Yakuza until they come around to the Yakuza's way of thinking. The runners are hired by the family to get the kid back, and just to make things easy for the new group, the family happens to know where they're holding the kid: The local Red Lion Inn. Simple yes?

One would think.

So they get to the hotel, the Rigger parks the van out front and watches the street. The rest of the team goes inside. That's when the trouble starts. One of the street sams, a former member of the Native American Nations military, marches right up to the desk in his camo pants, combat boots and armored leather jacket and asks for a room. The guy at the desk asks for some identification. Finding himself in a pickle, because he really didn't want a room in the first place, just an excuse to go upstairs, and he doesn't want to use his identification (no the newbie didn't have a fake SIN to use) he calmly pulls out his heavy pistol and blows the assistant night manager away and then is surprised to hear an alarm go off. He then notices the camera overlooking the desk.

Needless to say Lone Star was there on the double and in the ensuing gun battle this same street sam managed to ride his Harley in and out of the hotel lobby four times- over the broken glass from the lobby windows no less- leaving him surprised to discover his bikes tires to be thrashed. Two of the other team members fade into the background, the NPC gets pinned down and shot, and the remaining member manages to fire an entire clip of light pistol ammo into a yak soldier wearing an armored vest without scoring more than a light wound. He does eventually manage to dispatch the Yaks, get the kid and escape the crime scene. After being forced to abandon his bike the NA street sam manages to evade the fuzz and they all manage to meet up after the clusterf\/<k to finish the deal.

So the pay off is in a bus locker, and since certain members of the party have found their images on the nightly news it is decided to send the least trustworthy of the team to collect the swag. She goes and gets the cash (CFS dollars) from the bus locker and then calmly gets on a bus rather than bring the swag back to split with the rest of the team. Shortly afterwords the rest of the team catches on that they've been had and, predictably do something stupid.

Two of them get on their bikes with their SMGs and race after the first bus they see leaving the station. They it follow waving their SMGs at the bus driver while screaming at him to pull over- which he doesn't do. In a last ditch effort to force the bus to stop one of the geniuses fires his SMG at the right front tire of the bus while it's making a slopping right turn. The bus driver loses control, and the bus rolls right over both of them. They were lucky to survive it.

Oh, and the best part? She wasn't on that bus.

My players had the problem of getting from NYC to Hong Kong.

Gunslinger Adept wants to fly commercially.
The Rigger is not at all happy with this plan, as it means he can't bring his useful toys.
The Hacker decides to play the voice of reason.

Hacker: Omae... if we fly commercially, how do you plan on bringing your guns?
'slinger: Duh. In my luggage.
Rigger: You can't fill a suitcase with firearms and put them on a passanger jet.
'slinger: Of course I can!
Hacker: Um - they'll show up on x-ray...
'sligner: Oh. Then I'll just hide them in a sock. That should fool the X-ray.
Rigger: that's it! We need to buy a whole bunch of giant novelty socks for my dobermans!
Hacker: Uhuh. I am not getting on ANY kind of plane with you two.

Also: No amount of GM fudging/divine providence could have saved Maria Mercurial in our campaign. At least her albums ended up selling better.

This kind of thing gives me great memories of the CLUE Case Files.

My GM submitted one that our group had done right after the files were discontinued (or went on hiatus) so it never got printed. Here is how it worked:

In SR3
Our Tech guy (was basically a mechanic with a dash of drone rigger) had, under a previous run, stolen three forklifts. Don't ask.

So, our run is a scavanger hunt. We are sent to get very specific things from different people. One is a specific make and model of car. We track one such car down to 'Fred's used tractor and auto dealership.' Our tech guy comes up with the brilliant idea of trading in one of the forklifts for the car. We all agree that this would probably be okay.

So our techie drives the forklift DOWN I-5 to the dealership. Of course, a motorcycle cop pulls him over for going comically beneath the speed limit, obstructing traffic, and driving a street-illegal vehicle down the interstate. Cop asks for tech guy's SIN. Our Tech Guy, not wanted to mar his pristine fake SIN, does the logical thing. He shoots the cop in the head (with a shotgun) WHILE THE COP IS ON THE RADIO. After a pitiful attempt to pretend to be the cop, he learns that reinforcements are on the way. He steals the cop's motorcycle and makes a break for it.

So, cops, in their vastly faster copcar, catch up to our tech guy, and he, in order to escape pursuit, jumps the median. Now going AGAINST traffic, he causes several car crashes but manages to stay on the road. As cops approach him from another direction, he jumps the median again, fails his roll, and goes careening off an embankment. He spends some Karma, manages to survive (though hurt) and breaks into some lady's house. He uses her cyberterminal to call a contact, and has her call a Decker. He is forced to pay the Decker a total of (IMG:style_emoticons/default/nuyen.gif) 80,000 in order for him to deck into the Seattle police and erase all data pertaining to his involvement in the crime. His response:

"Hey, at least I got a decker contact out of the deal."


Meanwhile, I take the bus to the dealership, ask to drive the car around the parkinglot (to make sure it works wink wink) then knock out the salesman as soon as he hands me the keys and take off. I stash it in the barrens and pay one of my contacts to come to me and remove the lojack.

There have probably been many great moments in gaming for us though I cant remember all of them right now but one comes to mind after reading all this..


So I was playing in a game where we were meeting up with Mr Johnson and we had our mix of pc's to cover pretty much all the bases needed to pull this run off (hopefully).

Well the mage thought it would be funny during the meeting with Mr J to use magic fingers to unbutton the dress of the 19 yr old human technomancer....WRONG!

I don't remember how the technomancer saw the mage do it exactly but she was not happy (nether was the player) and went ahead and pulled out a silence pistol under the table and shot the mage in the leg doing some good damage. The rest of us probably wouldn't of known it happened if the mage didn't fall out of his chair swearing up a storm with his leg covered in blood. LOL

Needless to say the techomancer left (The player refused to play that character for that run any more) as for the mage I don't remember what happened to him.

Luckly our GM at the time was laid back because normaly I think the Mr J would of walked out at that point or had us killed but hey regardless it was funny... Also I dont think we had another run to play thru at the time so the GM let it slide as well but Mr Johnson didnt like us lol.

While I hate quoting the whole post jsut to say this:

This, sir, is why we need the C.L.U.E. Files back! That so IS ONE!

TPKs always make me laugh.

The Demo I ran as my first game, where the Troll Mobster and the Street Samurai argue over using the Dead Pimp's SUV to force the Dumptruck full of Gravel and Sand on a downwards grade into what could have been a new CrashCart Facility.

Two of my regular players and myself decided to try Shadowrun last night (we were supposed to play Mage: the Ascension, but most of the players couldn't show up and those who did wanted to try it before we finish the Mage campaign and actually start the Shadowrun one.) One player decided to play a Japanese Adept ninja (called Tetsuo 2, no less) and the other decided to play an ork poser, deepweed-addict street mage. I decided to run the scenario from the quickstart rules (Food Fight, I think?) to keep things simple, so the scene is a Stuffer Shack. I started with Tetsuo 2, who decided to buy himself some "soyshi" ( the term we came up with for soy sushi) before playing some of the simsense games. Then, the mage goes to the clerk, buys some rolling paper and asks me:

Mage: I wanna try a spell, how does it work?
Me: *explain the rules for casting a spell, then:* What spell do you wanna cast?
Mage: Improved Invisibility, Force 6! *rolls dice and gets a neat 8 hits out of 8 dice* Wow! I love this game!
Me: Okay, that was incredible! Now that you're invisible, what do you do?
Mage: I roll some deepweed.
Me: In the middle of a Stuffer Shack?
Mage: Sure, this place is way better than my squat! Heck, they even mopped the floor today!

I could see a lot of wonderful spells being used for that and worse purposes if your every day person developed magical talent.LOL

Food fight always brings out the funny!

...whiskey tango foxtrot?

I think, many a year ago, I did send a much better description to the C.L.U.E. Files about that run but that was just after she quit doing it. I wish I could remember the specifics of it better because the details of why he was driving in and out of the lobby repeatedly I remember being extremely funny, though I don't recall exactly why anymore.

Oh, boy, I have some good ones...

Catch and Release

So I was playing a Mystic Adept hacker for a game that also included an Ork Gun-Adept (with his favorite Ares Alpha), a Super-Human Sniper (vanilla-virgin), some sort of mage, and one or two other guys. We were trying to track down this insane hacker that was causing people's headcomms to overclock to the point where it started to cook their brains. After a lot of Tracking rolls, I finally track him down to an old library that has an out-dated but still functional cyberterminal. We get there and we see a kid sitting at the terminal (more of a desktop, really), punching keys when prompted by whatever is running on the screen.

The Ork Adept walks over and slaps the kid, almost dropping him, and we start yelling and interrogating him right there at the back of the library. He tells us some guy paid him to push buttons on the terminal when certain prompts came up. We end up knocking him out, tying him up, and shooting our way out of the library (a couple of security guards come over to us).

We (ork adept, the kid and me) file into my Honda Spirit. After some hacking and driving around to lose any tails we might have gained, I find out that the kid was telling the truth.

So now we kinda feel a little bad for beating a child up and shooting some people, and we want to make things right. But we can't just go put the kid back because the 'Star are there now.

Our solution? Drop him off at the local police department.

We roll up, the ork opens his door, and tosses the unconscious, zip-tied, bruised ten-year-old onto the sidewalk in front of the police department, then I race off like a bat out of hell.

GM: So you just throw him on the sidewalk in front of the police department?
Me: Yeah, he was too small.. It's like catch-and-release.

We laughed for a good few minutes.

I was wondering if someone would mention them...

- J.

Sounds like somebody's been playing Creepwoodrun... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)

My bad, it was a mystad.

Anyways, they were hired by a disaffected Lone Star employee who was sick of corruption in the DED. He was using them to locate and eventually root out the operations of a former partner who was facilitating drug shipments into Seattle. They found out that a mag-lev train was bringing a heavily guarded, unscheduled shipment into the city.

Xenotrope, [PC, amoral AI] decided to try and flip the brakes on the mag-lev. It had redundant systems, so he then just decided to shut off the mag-lev rail. In a flash, a 200 mile an hour bullet freight train derails and then plows into a small hamlet. Big clouds of dust and debris, broken houses, screaming, ect.

Mark's PC was an intensely religious fellow (donated nuyen to orphanages and when asked who his mentor spirit was, he replied "Jesus") and he was torn between helping the souls in the destruction and running away. He decided to retreat with the team, but before that grabbed one of the vials in the special drug shipment and jammed it into his veins (later he told me his character was attempting suicide). That suicide attempt attracted a shade, which made Mark's PC twist the words of the Bible for its own uses, and one thing leads to another...

Mark's character was eventually taken by Tamanous (and with his permission, NPCed by me). Tamanous was producing a magically active combat drug in conjunction with the Ghost Cartels, and it required fresh, live brain matter. The team runs into Mark's character in a facility in the middle of the brain matter extraction, and he asks Mucha, the team troll to kill him. It sounds morbid, but Mucha was an artist and intensely fascinated with the creation and destruction involved in violence; he also had a simmering hatred of Mark after Mark's character insulted his intelligence based on race.* Mark's character gives Mucha a piece of art, and in the process attempts to use his death to redeem himself a bit.

* Mark's characters all have a house rule applied to them; whatever he says during the session, his characters say. The feud between Mucha and Mark grew out of a mid game discussion of racial attributes (are trolls really dumber than humans, ect.) At the table, it was being discussed. In game, Mark was insulting Mucha's intelligence while planting a combat axe into a Doberman as they performed an extraction from a penthouse.

I hope this is sufficiently relevant.

I was recently in a game of Mouse Guard (think Redwall) where we were trying to figure out how to extract a snapping turtle from a town without allowing it to crush any buildings or eat any mice.

We went around the table, making suggestions.

P1: Let's round up the villagers and charge!
P2: Let's light a fire under it!
Me: Atropine poisoning.
GM: Atropine?
Me: Yeah - beladonna. I've got survivalist 3 and poison use 2 - there's no way I wouldn't know about it, and it's appropriate for the climate.
GM: How are you going to poison it?
Me: Get the berries, boil them down, and pour the mixture into the freshest corpse we can find. Then we stand on top of the nearest building and dangle it in front of the turtle with a rope.
Everyone else: ......

By the end of the game I'd already come up with a design for a technologically appropriate flamethrower, figured out how the GM's foolish delcaration of real-world physics resulted in near immunity to falling damage (a mouse can fall a distance proportionally equivalent to 200' for us without harm) could be used for offensive advantage, and murdered someone in their bed. (Of course, the GM had given me "old enemy, ""vindictive," and "skilled liar" on my pregenerated character sheet - so what was I to do?)

So, this is what happened in what I remember to be the first game of Shadowrun that I played. It was 500BP generation because my group enjoys a good powergame.

I was some sort of hacker at the time, there was some Troll damage sponge adept, a demolitions expert, and an infiltration expert. We were supposed to go into the penthouse of an apartment-like building and steal some fancy crystal thing out of some damned safe while the occupants were out of town.

So, I hacked in a maintenance appointment so that we had an excuse to enter the building and poke around its systems. So I hid some area jammers in the lobby, the demo-man wired explosives in critical locations (in case the stuff hit the fan), and I had some hardline entrances into the local network.

Everything is going off without a hitch until the infiltrator fails to get the safe open. Our backup plan is to use explosives to blow the whole thing out (it's a wall safe) and lower it by rope down stairs. At that point, the Troll standing around looking like a mechanic in the lobby decides that the explosion will be loud, so it is time for him to leave.

He looks at the secretary and says "I'm gonna go get some tools." The GM has him roll con, and he critical glitches. As a result, the secretary calls the star, and being distracted by other security systems, I didn't quite manage to intercept the call. So, the star was on it's way and were in all kinds of trouble because we had left our fingerprints all over the job.

In order to defuse this, we assessed that the situation had fallen from a code A to a code D (for demolitions). So, we blew the safe, chucked it and the infiltrator out the window, and were "safely" lowered into the van. In order to cause a big distraction for our getaway, I send the codes to blow the entire building, and we drove off.

Some quiet burglary.

remember it takes all kinds....

years on a run that most details escape me (& I wrote the mision), the team was hired to go to Azlan. Well, the team decided to fly commerical..

the team's gun bunny decided to bring his sniper rifle hidden in his suitcase. through customs...

i am not sure if the player ever figured out why the guards took a tissue sample and planted a tracking device in him

but the other players did real fast (IMG:style_emoticons/default/grinbig.gif)

In one of my latest sessions, our group was hired to kidnap a starlet. We weren't suppose to hurt her, and afraid that a burst from an Uzi loaded with gel rounds might overflow her stun and actually kill her, our hacker purchased a taser and handed it off to our street sam troll.

So we plan the run, get into the apartment no problem. Take out the guard at the door, move into the apartment, street sam takes out the mage as he yells to everyone that he are attacking. I (a rigger) take out two guards with my shotgun (using edge to get the second guy). After a little trouble with their street sam, who nearly killed me and our mage. We are finally left with nobody standing.

We start searching the apartment (still doing combat rounds to keep the suspense that guys might be hiding). Finally the troll finds the starlet hiding under her bed. At which point he takes aim with the taser and shoots her. Imagining this just makes me laugh to no end. A troll, whose arm is probably about 4 feet long, looks under a bed maybe 6' wide. I can just see him pulling the covers up, slowing reaching out the taser, holding it inches from her face, and shooting her.

Another one for the CLUE files. . . except we actually pulled it off.

So, we are hired to kidnap a corp scientist. She lives in a AAA neighborhood outside of the corp compound, but everyday walks two blocks to the Subway station where she boards a special Tram that goes directly into the Megacorp archology. Our team was tossing around ideas, considering breaking in, when our mage pipes up. "Hey, I have a Ph.D in chemistry and Magical theory, and I can be pretty charming, why don't I quote unquote bump into her on the subway platform and invite her out to dinner?" We all agree this is a GREAT plan.

Then our Street Ninja pipes up with something that sums up our group's feelings perfectly: "No way, that plan is WAY too pansy!"

Instead, we rig four cars for remote control, load them with auto-destructs, missles, vehicle caltrops, and ablative armor, and then steal an SUV. We drive in, kidnap her as she is going to work, have a running firefight with LoneStar, and beat it from Bellvue, through downtown, into the Barrens, where the smog cover prevents satalitte tracking. During our run we down 4 police cars, 3 Citymasters, and two helicopters before Lone Star pulls back, and realizes that reinforcements from Fort Lewis can't get to us in time. BEST RUN EVER.