 Planet of the Drop Bears, Curious Stories of the Ridiculous |
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 Jul 12 2006, 03:36 PM
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#1851
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Incertum est quo loco te mors expectet;  Group: Dumpshocked Posts: 6,548 Joined: 24-October 03 From: DeeCee, U.S. Member No.: 5,760  |
What?? This is an outrage! Clearly the first step is to shoot the messenger.
(Hey, where's Gibraltar? That's just a make believe place, right? I mean, who would really name their country "Gibraltar"?) |
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Jul 12 2006, 03:42 PM
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#1852
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 681 Joined: 28-February 06 From: UK Member No.: 8,319 |
*struggling in the arms of the guards*
Um. Begging your pardon, your honor, but I was told it was somewhere on the southern tip of somewhere called 'Spayne', although this is clearly a confabulation meant by my handlers to confuse and distract me, since I find no reference to it in the Drop Bear Conspiracy Manual. |
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Jul 12 2006, 04:28 PM
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#1853
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 681 Joined: 28-February 06 From: UK Member No.: 8,319 |
And having just posted here, what should I run across but this article on flesh-eating kangaroos. I couldn't not mention it.
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Jul 12 2006, 06:08 PM
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#1854
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Genuine Artificial Intelligence Group: Members Posts: 4,019 Joined: 12-June 03 Member No.: 4,715 |
I think Drop Bears on a plane would work great. The only twist is, the horror doesn't take place on the plane. The horror takes place on the ground all across the world as Drop Bears DROP FROM THE MOTHERFUCKING PLANES!!!
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Jul 13 2006, 09:58 AM
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#1855
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Great, I'm a Dragon... Group: Retired Admins Posts: 6,699 Joined: 8-October 03 From: North Germany Member No.: 5,698 |
Good research, Brother Witness. Now go on, train some Drop Bears into Anti-Kangaroo and Anti-Monkey Units and wipe the enemies out! |
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Jul 13 2006, 10:02 AM
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#1856
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 681 Joined: 28-February 06 From: UK Member No.: 8,319 |
Yes master.
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Jul 13 2006, 10:05 AM
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#1857
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Great, I'm a Dragon... Group: Retired Admins Posts: 6,699 Joined: 8-October 03 From: North Germany Member No.: 5,698 |
Excellent. I'm sure Brother Oracle can provide your troops with some new invented anti-kangaroo weapons.
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Jul 13 2006, 10:07 AM
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#1858
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 681 Joined: 28-February 06 From: UK Member No.: 8,319 |
Thank you master. I have just removed the polystyrene packaging and I greatly look forwards to seeing the Cyberzombiewombat in action.
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Jul 13 2006, 12:24 PM
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#1859
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 934 Joined: 26-August 05 From: Earth - Europe - AGS - Norddeutscher Bund - Hannover Member No.: 7,624 |
We are still in preparation of something special for you, Brother Witness. Something very special...and delicate...
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Jul 13 2006, 12:27 PM
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#1860
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 681 Joined: 28-February 06 From: UK Member No.: 8,319 |
OOH OOH IS IT A PONY? *claps hands excitedly*
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Jul 13 2006, 12:35 PM
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#1861
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 934 Joined: 26-August 05 From: Earth - Europe - AGS - Norddeutscher Bund - Hannover Member No.: 7,624 |
I said delicate. Not tasty.
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Jul 13 2006, 12:37 PM
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#1862
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 681 Joined: 28-February 06 From: UK Member No.: 8,319 |
*sulks*
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Jul 13 2006, 12:38 PM
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#1863
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Great, I'm a Dragon... Group: Retired Admins Posts: 6,699 Joined: 8-October 03 From: North Germany Member No.: 5,698 |
Pony... hmm.. do we have a Drop Bear Cavalry already?
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Jul 13 2006, 01:30 PM
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#1864
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Neophyte Runner Group: Members Posts: 2,453 Joined: 17-September 04 From: St. Paul Member No.: 6,675 |
Yes, they ride Jaberwokies
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Jul 13 2006, 01:39 PM
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#1865
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Great, I'm a Dragon... Group: Retired Admins Posts: 6,699 Joined: 8-October 03 From: North Germany Member No.: 5,698 |
Cool. Who's commanding officer?
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Jul 13 2006, 01:51 PM
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#1866
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Neophyte Runner Group: Members Posts: 2,453 Joined: 17-September 04 From: St. Paul Member No.: 6,675 |
Han Solo
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Jul 13 2006, 02:32 PM
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#1867
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Great, I'm a Dragon... Group: Retired Admins Posts: 6,699 Joined: 8-October 03 From: North Germany Member No.: 5,698 |
Pfff... he's not trustworthy enough. One of the Brothers here should become his... advidsor.
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Jul 13 2006, 02:58 PM
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#1868
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Incertum est quo loco te mors expectet; Group: Dumpshocked Posts: 6,548 Joined: 24-October 03 From: DeeCee, U.S. Member No.: 5,760 |
Hmm... What if we could train these kangaroos to our own ends? Mount the drop bear on its back. The kangaroo jumps into combat and the holy crusader drop bear leaps whilst his mount is at its peak. And given their shared cultural background (of being blood drinking marsupials), they may be more likely to work together.
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Jul 13 2006, 03:35 PM
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#1869
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Neophyte Runner Group: Members Posts: 2,453 Joined: 17-September 04 From: St. Paul Member No.: 6,675 |
I like the way you think!
The Drop Bears drink the target dry and the meat-eating kangaroos devour their corpses... |
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Jul 14 2006, 11:06 AM
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#1870
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 681 Joined: 28-February 06 From: UK Member No.: 8,319 |
The same article also makes reference to 'demon ducks of doom'. Do not feed the demon ducks of doom.
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Jul 14 2006, 03:14 PM
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#1871
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Mystery Archaeologist Group: Members Posts: 2,906 Joined: 19-September 05 From: The apple tree Member No.: 7,760 |
ooh ooh ooh can I I have a demon duck? huh huh can I?
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Jul 14 2006, 05:10 PM
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#1872
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Neophyte Runner Group: Members Posts: 2,453 Joined: 17-September 04 From: St. Paul Member No.: 6,675 |
http://www.elgoonishshive.com/
Check out the comic for July 12th... There's your demon duck. It is a running gag in that comic, whenever a character needs a distraction they point and yell, "Look, A demon duck!" And the duck is there in the background. |
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Jul 14 2006, 06:44 PM
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#1873
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Running Target Group: Members Posts: 1,088 Joined: 8-October 04 From: Dallas, TX Member No.: 6,734 |
Hmm...what about hiring Demon Ducks to serve as distractions so our Drop Bear Legions can drop on them more easily?
Or...Demon Drop Bear Legions! |
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Jul 14 2006, 07:27 PM
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#1874
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Incertum est quo loco te mors expectet; Group: Dumpshocked Posts: 6,548 Joined: 24-October 03 From: DeeCee, U.S. Member No.: 5,760 |
Are you somehow suggesting we crossbreed our drop bears with ducks? That is... rather disturbing. No my friends, the use of demon ducks is clear. A distraction, yes, but more. Remember, our troops are most effective against stationary targets. What happens when a pair of tasty treats see a demon fowl? Of course, one yells "duck!" Whilst the other is ducking, he is then stationary, and a perfect target! Through the use of combined forces, we can conquer. They're also useful for throwing into the engines of airplanes full of snakes or whatever. |
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Jul 14 2006, 08:24 PM
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#1875
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Neophyte Runner Group: Members Posts: 2,453 Joined: 17-September 04 From: St. Paul Member No.: 6,675 |
Don't you remember elders? We have cross bred them. The platypus was the result. Oh the many hours of falsifying fossil records and spoofing scholarly research to cover up that fiasco. <<shudder>> The only benefit was that they turned out to be the only poisonous mammal. Small consolation in my opinion. |
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