Planet of the Drop Bears, Curious Stories of the Ridiculous Options

[Jrayjoker]

[Nikoli]

If you want to win a staring contest with one, you have to injest something as toxic to yourself as eucalyptus is to the koala, then you'll be so zonked out sitting htere that you can't help but win. Just make sure your insurance is paid up and that you've signed a waiver releasing me from any liability for your actions.

[fistandantilus4....]

Koala and eucalyptus -VS- Angelone and ritalin

Live at the Garden!

[PBTHHHHT]

Its gonna be a jaw dropping event!

*yawn*

[hyzmarca]

[fistandantilus4....]

reminds me of when my kid (4 yr old) was perscribed Codine for a really nasty cough.

"Now this will most likely make him very sleepy. But with some kids, it can have the opposite effect."

It was like he had just downed a bunch of pixie sticks. Scary

[Jrayjoker]

[Gyro the Greek S...]

Codeine is an opiate, so...
How would one go about collecting Drop Bears for their evil corporate masters, by the by?

[Jrayjoker]

Have your mage stand under a Eucalyptus tree and wait...

[hyzmarca]

You would use a Drop Bear Harvester or DBH. Basicly, a cross between a thunderbird and a dump truck with a mechanical arm attached. It flys under a tree, shakes the tree with the mechanical arm, any drop bears land in the bucket.

[PBTHHHHT]

Heh, that reminds me of one of the travel channel shows. They were showing how one would collect walnuts from the trees. One had a vehicle that would do what you described it would shake the tree at the root using an arm that would vibrate.

Though here, they'd just vacuum the walnuts from the ground... I guess ye'd need some softer bucket to collect the drop bears as they fell. Ya don't want injure them... yet.

[Foreigner]

fistandantilus3.0:

Your son was, IMHO, luckier than most with that allergy.

My identical twin brother inherited our mother's anaphylactic allergy to codeine. (Strangely enough, I didn't.) I'm not certain if he'd have the same reaction to other real and synthetic opiates (i.e., morphine, heroin, methadone).

Small amounts usually give him hives, and have provoked psychotic episodes in the past. One time while in the hospital for surgery (at the age of 11 or 12), he began hallucinating when approached by the nurse carrying the syringe containing the knockout shot. He climbed the bed frame to get away from her. He told me later that, from his distorted perspective, the syringe looked more like a harpoon--which, I guess, explains his reaction.

A large enough dose would most likely kill him.

hyzmarca, PBTHHHHT: I think you're thinking about an episode of TLC's Monster Garage. Custom motorcycle builder Jesse James and his crew modified a pickup truck into a high-speed orange harvester.

The beastie had a fold-up net--essentially an inverted canopy--in the bed, with a central hole. Under the hole was a metal chute, which deposited the fruit into a padded container underneath it. The vehicle, as you said, had a mechanical claw on the front end that could grab onto the trunk of an orange tree, and gently shake it, causing the fruit that was ripe to fall off.

--Foreigner

This post has been edited by Foreigner: Aug 11 2005, 07:01 PM

[Panzergeist]

I was misdiagnosed with ADD and given ritalin for a month once. It was basically one 30-day speed trip. I don't think I did anything that compares with being attacked with a harpoon, though. Incidentally, if you didn't inherit your mother's allergy but your twin brother did, you realize that makes you a mutant, right? Test yourself for super powers, man.

[Lady Door]

Oh, how I LOVE this thread.... No, really.. it's unnatural.

[Nikoli]

Not all allergies are genetic, though predisposition for them are. An adult with no family history of allergies can suddenly develop a lethal allergy to peanuts, shellfish, etc. while a young child without a single non-allergy suffering ancestor might never know the "joy" of a 3000+ pollen count while living in georgia.

[Foreigner]

[hyzmarca]

And more about koalas....

http://www.abc.net.au/science/news/stories/s294303.htm

http://www.uq.edu.au/news/index.phtml?article=2193

http://www.4-men.org/koalapenis.html

[Nikoli]

I can honestly say I know more about the genitals of koala's then I ever intended to know. My inner child is crying now, I hope you're happy.

[bclements]

"Secret of Koala's Genetals Unfolds"

That's some entrede if I've ever heard it.

[fistandantilus4....]

Foreigner: Yikes! Harpoons huh? scary stuff. Guess we lucked out. My wife had some nasty halluciantions once, seeing freaky shadows everywhere. She's the mutant in the family (although I have the adult onset allergies, which suck @ss. No more peanut butter & honey sandwiches for me), with a 'genetic defect'. She has the same superpower that you do, the ability to recall reams and reams of uselss facts. Acutally very impressive. One of which facts is that the term for such a peroson is apparently a spermologist. I probably got that one wrong, but it's something similar. Sure she'll come on later and correct me (and give me bad karma).

Hi honey! Airing your insanities!


As for Drop bear farming, just have a bunch of kids watch Care Bears, give 'em some padding and Pixie sticks (apparently Codine is bad for some), and send 'em out!

[Jrayjoker]

If they don't cuddle the little bastards to death, then you will have your Drop Bear army. Just make sure you wash off the flowers and hearts the kids draw on their tummies or noone will take them seriously.

Wait. No one will take them seriously until it is too late anyway, leave them on.

Care Bears, prepare to care. Care Bears, prepare to stare. Stare THERE!

[Canis]

This thread has opened my eyes. I’m going to don my tinfoil hat and kill as many tiny bears as I can find before they get me. What do you mean koalas are protected?! Damn the IE Cabal must have anticipated my actions.

[fistandantilus4....]

Now you're marked Canis, you've figured it out. The Immortal Elves have been breading them and preparing them for a secret army. Who else would use the ridiculous little things!? The only question is, which Tir is it, and will you live long enough to find out, now that you've announced your discovery to all the world (well.... all of Dumpshock at least).

[Canis]

Don't worry, I'm cool. I got a magic cloak off of a guy on the internet. It protects me from space aliens, gov'ment soul stealers (aka the IRS) and all kinds of things.

[fistandantilus4....]

I notice you didn't list the Fey/Faerie/elves/ pervy hobbit fanciers