Planet of the Drop Bears, Curious Stories of the Ridiculous Options

[HentaiZonga]

HERETIC!! To compare the Holy Drop Bear to a common parasite!! Ye must be aligned with the Immoral ElF!

Prepare to be DROPPED!!

*launches swarms of tiny dual-natured Drop Bears at Magus from his nose*

[Tobias]

Ahh it hurts. I've just read the first 30 pages of this thread. Wow them drop bears are tricksy. Will try and finish it up later...

[Fortune]

Tsk tsk. The fluffy rat's devotees are definitely getting slacker all the time. It's really almost sad.

[fistandantilus4....]

Oh Great Elders of the GDC, I am working my way through all of the holy texts.
I wish to indoctrinate my players and wanted to know if anyone had 4th edition stats for the drop bears.

Young one, let me put your worries to rest. Drop Bears, like Harlequin, are not statted in canon. As has been stated so many times, "If you stat it, someone will kill it." Ergo, Drop Bears are not statted, and therefore cannot be killed Hence our impass and inability to destroy the Elf Cabal of Fortuna. Fortuna has no stats (besides the negative quality of Crazy Old Man, or C.O.M.-mie for short. In other words, Fortuna is a Commie.)

Move along to page 50 neophyte. Your cleansing by Holy Drop Fire has only just begun.

[nezumi]

Hah, my wife found my jump drive yesterday (apparently it had dropped into my pants pocket). Here are the original stats for a Drop Bear, from SR3:


Drop Bear
B 3
Q 3 x 2
S 5
C -
I 2/4
W 5
E 6
R 3
Init 3 + 1d6
CP 6
Attack 5S
Powers: Adaptive coloration, immunity (pathogens, poisons)
Weaknesses: Dietary requirement (eucalyptus)


I'd not finished changing it over to SR4, but I will soon, at which point I'll put them next to Fortuna and all the other characters in the Cast section.


Finally done searching so I can go back to studying the thread like I should!

[fistandantilus4....]

New Divination Technique : Drop Thread Searching - SR4

Metamagic Required: Divination
Tradition: Shamanic

A strange new phenomenom that has begun to make its way through the matirx is the curious divination technique of "Drop Thread Searching". To outsiders, the name its self is enigmatic, bewildering, and seemingly prone to the whims of gravity ( a force that generally has little affect on the matrix, and only occassionally on magic). To the Initiated however, it is a powerful (Search) tool. The technique arose apparently at the early turn of the century, from an undreground cult like group, at the time persecuted by so called "Immortal Elves" or "Those Immortal Mamby-Pambys" as cult members called them. The cultists, a rather tight knit and apparently extreme group (going so far as to have an actual inquisition among its operations) found that through deep communion with the so called "Drop Bear Thread", a long and rambling discussion of the "True" nature of the Australian Drop Bear, they could find insights into many of life's mysteries. For example they found there was a great and hidden power in the use of "quotation marks" that somehow inevitably drew the attention of the "reader" of a text. Somehow still surviving unto this day, the rare and obscure (some would say ridiculous, but not around trees or tall buildings) method of diving otherwise hidden facts remains in us by the remaining cult members and their descendants.

[ Spoiler ]

Game Effect: The Drop Thread Search is available to all shamans with a totem of drop bear as well as the kahuna of Hawai'i, California, and the occasional Floridian (due to an off shoot of surfing Drop Bear Commandos naturally). It has been theorized that the Aboriginal tradition could infact make use of this divination, if they didn't consider the matrix the root of all evil (mostly because of Immortal Elf involvement).

To make use of the Divination variant, the Diviner begins browsing the Drop Bear Thread at a random page, reading on until his eyes begin to gloss over. This technique is best done in the dark , with either complete silence, or Harry Conick Jr playing in the background (don't ask us, it just seems to work). Upon completion of a half an hour of reading, the Diviner has achieved and Other Place of mind, much llike that which is reached through normally illegal methods and hallucinagens, or listening the Beck. The Diviner may divine the answers to questions normally as in Divination.

An interesting Variant is the Initiation ordeal variant of this technique (Read: "Suffering" Ordeal)

[Magus]

Thank you Oh Elder Fisty for that new mnemonic of Initiatory MetaMagic Techniques!! It is through thy and the other Elders Guidance the World shall soon witness the "Great Dropping" and convert to the "Holy Drop Bear". And all shall be good and wonderful.

[nezumi]

Hmm... It occurs to me that, on further examination, perhaps about half of our members are directly part of, or involved in the inquisition.

Why are our numbers so low? One solution I can come up with is infiltrators. The remaining half are primarily immortal elf infiltrators who are seeking to cover their crimes.

I really can't think of any other reasons, actually.

[Firestorm]

And what of the few that are neither in the Inquisition nor being Immoral Elfs infiltrators. ( typos are there to help (IMG:style_emoticons/default/silly.gif) )

[fistandantilus4....]

I really can't think of any other reasons, actually.

As one who has faced the Inquisition in its righteous Dropiness and emerged wit stronger Bear-fu then ever, I can surely say that it is because it is better to be of the Inquisition than to face it.

Firestorm, lay worshipers, acolytes, hooded minions, and Elders all have their place in the Great Drop. Read until you find yours (or you can't read anymore because your eyes have hemmoraged. which ever comes first).

[Fortune]

I was going to mention that you failed to list 'gullable fools', but then noticed that you did include 'Elders', so you didn't actually leave it out afterall.

[fistandantilus4....]

[ Spoiler ]

That would actually fall under the 'lay worshippers' heading, although we don't like to advertise that so much.

Only Megalomanical Nut Jobs make it to the rank of 'Elder'

Now go back to your Wallpaper and Coffee.

[Fortune]

[ Spoiler ]

Only Megalomanical Nut Jobs make it to the rank of 'Elder'

Funny ... you'd think I'd fit right in. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

[fistandantilus4....]

Except for the racial bias (damn daisy eater), and the obligatory hate towards you. *shrug* (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

[nezumi]

When I was voted on as an elder, no one tested me for megalomania. Nut job, yes. But then again, I always try to be respectful to elders. Maybe they wanted someone happy to share compliments at the board meetings.

[fistandantilus4....]

We don't always need "testing" to confirm such things. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)

[Angelone]

You forgot drunks. Then again maybe not.

I have returned from the testing out the "stuff" I was testing. It was a grueling process which involved alot of bugs biting me and seeing some spiders the size of my face. I have however prevealed and will submit a full report in a few days time.

[Fortune]

I have returned from the testing out the "stuff" I was testing. It was a grueling process which involved alot of bugs biting me and seeing some spiders the size of my face. I have however prevealed and will submit a full report in a few days time.

Sounds like a run-of-the-mill, routine day for us Down Under. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

[DocTaotsu]

*ahem*

OH NOESSSS!!!
http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/science/05/07...t.ap/index.html

[nezumi]

This is terrible news, comrades!! The Immortal Elves have attacked us where it hurts - in the eucalyptus. Their machinations become clear; thousands of years of gently guiding humanity, of tremendous technical innovations, of discovery and exploration, it was all building up to this: killing the holy leaf.

The only defense is to attack those that create this carbon dioxide! A holy jihad against the air breathers! Let us convene at our ever-flying strato-fortress and discuss. We can bring up our aerial drop bear bombardment technology as well.

(As an interesting aside, koalas are one of few animals that have fingerprints, and in fact koala fingerprints are so much like human fingerprints that they're difficult to tell apart even with the aid of a microscope! Chimps, however, do not have fingerprints. Hmm... Perhaps indicative of the TRUE evolutionary line of humans? I notice chimps don't get HMHVV either.)

[Kyoto Kid]

...aloha, and you have our support.

The Short One was right, you never could trust those (as she so eloquently refers to them) "Long Eared Galoots"

[ Spoiler ]

Princess Kam is prepared to divert any technological resources necessary which may be of assistance to the Holy Drop.

The Big Kahuna Array and Pele's Wrath Brimstone Solar Cannon have also been placed on Stage 4 alert.

Aeon Labs
It's Not Magic, Just Superior Technology

[fistandantilus4....]

Perhaps indicative of the TRUE evolutionary line of humans? I notice chimps don't get HMHVV either.)

[ Spoiler ]

That's because some lucky humans evolved into Drop Bears. They are the next step. Pansy elves were born, trolls and orks UGEd, changelings expressed. Drop Bears have evolved past all that. Go forth and horde the good word. Tell no one, and grin maniacally at your secret knowledge.

[nezumi]

Hmm.. As has been brought up elsewhere, there are no SR4 stats for the drop bear. Is this a failure on our part, or is it based on the theory that 'if it has stats, you can kill it'? Are we making an unstoppable bear?

[oceansoul]

I've read nothing on Dumpshock for the past two days but this thread. All I can say is please let the burning of my eyes stop now, oh and All hail the mighty Drop Bear

[Trigger]

I've read nothing on Dumpshock for the past two days but this thread. All I can say is please let the burning of my eyes stop now, oh and All hail the mighty Drop Bear

Two Days! TWO DAYS!!!??? Upon my return to the thread after my hiatus I made it my main goal to reread the entirety of the holy scriptures. 8 hours and a pint of blood from my eyes later I was finished. Two days is mediocre brother...go back and do it again and don't stop for the bleeding that ocurs. If you are worthy the holiness of the words will carry you through, if not then know that you are dying a much kinder death than the Inquisition would offer you.