Laughs in the Shadows, Jokes with a Shadowrun twist Options

[Charon]

[DocMortand]

Okay then...who was the first person to come up with the AOBBS? Blackjack?

[golden-one]

I Cant believe that you've never seer a mention of the herd Shot around the world. i'd credit Blackjack with The first mention on the old forum. Unfortunately I'm getting 404`d when I try to search it, So lets write this one upas a forum legend

[Guest_Crimsondude 2.0_*]

[Talia Invierno]

So each player is working up extensive backstory, describing how their own dream character is going to kick ass in the SR universe. Each character is an absolute genius, of course. (Are there any other kind?)

The first player tells about his ex-military special division demolitions expert mercenary who deserted after he became sure someone was trying to kill him (no, really? no one should ever try to kill a soldier); and who's really, really good at blowing things up: you thought the wrath of God had come down on you after he blew up one of your buildings. All the good cyber and none of the junk stuff; beta where availability allowed (he's from a relatively affluent family, even if they're not talking to him anymore and haven't for years, so we don't have to worry about all that complicated family stuff); all very logically backstory-derived; all beautifully min-maxed. (MM allows such nice Essence cheats with cyberlimbs.)

The second player tells about his ex-Johnson, who is the poster child for tall, dark and handsome. He dresses extremely well, always neat and trimmed, usually the best dressed for the meet: he even makes the other Johnson look cheap and out of place. For some reason or other, just about everybody just loves the guy, you really can't help it. He just seems to have a way with people, always says the right thing at the right time; if it weren't for his cyber, you would swear it was magic of some sort. (Are we absolutely certain that Availability level on tailored pheromones is accurate?) There's some sadness in him that he'll never explain in character, but just between us players, the only girl he ever loved was killed when she was hit by a bus. And he's an orphan, of course. (Often? Orphan!)

The third player tells about his optimally min-maxed dwarf mage sorcerer (can't be a shaman, no way is he playing a character with personality restrictions!). Part of an experimental team, the corporation heavily invested in bioware for him: cerebral booster, mnemonic enhancer, trauma damper, pain editor (after that one unfortunate accident); and of course the datajack and optimised cybereyes are de rigeur, in the R&D units. But his magic is safe: he's got all the appropriate geasa, and he's got a lot of cantrips too. His folks were so proud when he got into the programme, they spent their life savings to buy him the power focus for his graduation, just before they got killed in that automobile accident. Ever since then, he's buried himself in his studies of all things magical: that and magically kicking ass gives him a reason to exist.

The fourth player, who's been having problems getting a group to stick around long enough for karma pool to start mattering, starts telling about his physad, who's rich, smart, handsome, strong, skilled in the martial arts enough to take on Bruce Lee and win, and good at pistols enough that Wild Bill calls his character sensei (oh, and Wild Bill did really call his character sensei, can't really remember when or why, does it matter?).

Hearing the descriptions of the supermegaüberherocharacters soon to appear in his game (which by now had blown out of all proportion and were starting to challenge Harlequin), the GM placed his head in his hands and said: "You know, guys, that's funny. Because I have no recollection of approving any of you ..."

[Demosthenes]

:eek:
Talia: bitter, much? ;)

NERPS - for PC-induced indigestion (now with added backstory and plot-hooks)

[Dog]

Yeah, this thread's for comedies, not tragedies. ;)

[Kagetenshi]

Looks like farce to me ;)

~J

[Talia Invierno]

Or satire ;)

[Sharaloth]

Looks like my game. ;)

....What? I just had to join in this bit of fun. Besides the ex-military thing pretty much is a character from one of my games. And hell, if I were the GM of that one, I'D be laughing my ass off.

[kevyn668]

[kackling kactuar]

Delete?

[Talia Invierno]

AOBB?

[Herald of Verjig...]

I don't think typical keyboards have an Ares Orbital Bovine Bombardment button, but you can probably get a USB device to add that functionality.

[Kagetenshi]

For me it's just Command-Option-B :D

~J

[Tanka]

Silly Mac user.

*closes tab on Powerbook specs*

[Talia Invierno]

Ah. Thank you. I've seen the full phrase many times but would you believe, the search function on the current version of Dumpshock doesn't find that one? So either it goes back a lot further than here, or else you, kevyn668, actually coined that one.

[Kagetenshi]

Interestingly enough, Google primarily finds curling references when I search for AOBB.

~J

[kevyn668]

Heh. Guess my guidance counselor was wrong. Being lazy can pay off. :)

[Talia Invierno]

A STORY OF CREATION


In the beginning, Neuron Basher brought into being the concept of Dumpshock, and it was good.

Shortly thereafter, NB was in receipt of a notice to show cause why an environmental impact statement shouldn't be filed. NB was granted a temporary planning permit for the project, but was stymied by a Cease and Desist Order for the membership aspects of the project. At the hearing, NB was asked why this project had been begun in the first place. NB replied that the members would need a place to talk about Shadowrun; and anyway, NB just liked to help out and be creative.

Then Neuron Basher said, "Let there be servers."

Officials immediately demanded to know how the servers would come on-line. Would it require strip mining? What about thermal pollution? NB explained that the servers would come from the generosity of Dumpshock's members, and provisional approval was granted with the proviso that no smoke would result. :noflame: The authorities demanded the issuance of a building permit, and (to conserve energy) required that every tenth part of data be sacrificed unto the servers. NB compromised, explaining that Server Upgrade 2.1 would be on-line as soon as possible, and promised an upgrade to the existing search function which shall be known as Knowbots, such that all the accumulated lore of Dumpshock should be collated and free to all. Officials replied that they were only interested in protecting the environment, not in semantics.

Neuron Basher said, "Let the forums bring forth a thriving membership."

Officials pointed out this would require approval from the Department of Endangered Species (Gamers), coordinated with ShadowStats. The population control lobby protested and started talking about expanded campaign contributions and new editions of existing paperwork. On the other hand, the proposal was quietly fast-tracked by the Department of Non-Endangered Species (New Lifeforms Evolving in Living Spaces).

Then Neuron Basher said, "Let the membership bring forth all manner of discussion on matters Shadowrun."

The Canon Registry Agency for the Protection of Shadowrun agreed, so long as only canon materials were used. Homeland Security seized an initial sampling of the discussion, but while they tried to figure out whether they should act or not, their computers became clogged with massive amounts of discussion about Tom Clancy, and they settled for the sacrifice of the Miscellaneous forum.

Everything went along smoothly until Neuron Basher declared that the Dumpshock technical staff intended to complete the project in six days.

Officials informed NB it would take at least 200 days to review all the waiver applications, political agendas masquerading as Shadowrun speculation, and other environmental impact statements. After that there would have to be a public hearing, and then the compulsory Great Server Sacrifice, and then the hearing as to whether the Great Server Sacrifice counted as blood magic or just pixel magic, and then there would be a 10-12 month probationary period before ...

At this point, Dumpshock created Hell :vegm:

[TimeKeeper]

Recently heard this one. I'll mod it for SR.

What do you call a Troll flying an airplane?
--
--
--
--
--
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A pilot, you racist bastard.

As for the above. That must be the New Testiment. I could of sworn there was a Deep Resonence forum around here somewheres...

[kevyn668]

[Talia Invierno]

Finding all his sensors gone dead, a rigger finds himself forced to land his small rigid-wing model the old-fashioned way. Problem is, he's gotten himself completely turned around during that last aerial fight (the one that took out the sensors), and it's Seattle, so it's foggy and rainy besides. Nothing but mist in sight. All directions seem equally bad.

Suddenly, out of the gloom looms out an office building, so close he can spot one of the wageslaves through an open window. (The wageslave obviously hasn't taken Corporate Security 101. Either that, or he's stealing a smoke.) Taking a chance, the rigger carefully descends to as close as he can get; and then shouts at the top of his lungs: "Where am I?"

Comes the answer: "You are in an airplane, about 100 feet above the ground."

Immediately the rigger re-aligns his small craft, finds his way to the private landing strip, and lands safely.

His teammates are astonished. Asks the mage: "How on earth did you figure out where to head from such --"

"Shitty," the street samurai helpfully fills in.

"-- data?" the mage concludes.

The rigger shrugs. "The answer he gave me was completely correct and factual, yet it was no help whatsoever. Who else could he be but a software engineer for Microsoft? * And since I know exactly where Microsoft's building is in relation to this landing strip ..."


* Microsoft is Shadowrun canon. Bill Gates' granddaughter is an otaku.

[hahnsoo]

[Talia Invierno]

Could be wrong in the details. I'm working from memory (and we all know how reliable that is!) :D