Old World Charm, EuroNews Flash Report - Jackpoint Europe |
Old World Charm, EuroNews Flash Report - Jackpoint Europe |
Apr 11 2008, 04:54 PM
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 493 Joined: 7-December 07 From: Kiev, USSR Member No.: 14,536 |
New Beer Might Push Heineken Out of Supremacy
Europort (EuroNews BBC) A new beer marketed by Baltica Beverages Limited has been hailed as the 'best beer,' at this years annual World Beer Cup in Europort. Heineken Liquors, the undisputed thirty year holder of the title cried foul as their new formula was called, in the words of one judge, to taste like 'utter piss.' Chemical testing revealed the Heineken beer to be almost chemically identical to metahuman urine, mixed with an eleven percent mixture of alcohol. Heineken moved to bring charges against Baltica Beverages on charges of foul play before the Corporate Court, but no evidence was discovered and the charges were dismissed. With third quarter reports upcoming, investors are flocking to Baltica in droves, the company just recently gone public. High losses are expected to hit Heineken. More info... > Heh. My crew pulled that job. Hard as hell, but the payout was worth it. Wanna know what really happened? Guess who Baltica is owned by? Evo. Word is that they're moving big time against the EARC (Europort Administrative Ruling Council.) Seems that they want a place with the settled players, and are willing to use any methods to gain that place. This is means job, kiddies, and lots of 'em. But uh, its gonna be a while before we hit a Heineken facility again. Whoever heard of a damn beer refinery guarded by blood mages? > Butch Dutch Omnitech Reveals Groundbreaking New Implantation Technique Europort (EuroNews BBC) DeBeers-Omnitech is expected to announce record profits this quarter, after the public unveiling of their new AlphaNow! cyberware implantation technique. This new technique uses state of the art technology to allow even the common man access to Alphaware grade cyberware, while at the same time making many inpatient procedures outpatient ones. Currently, AlphaNow! is offered at five Omnitech hospitals across Port, and waiting lists have already reached two years. Says Doctor Hans Groesbeck of the Oude Central Omnitech Research Hospital, "These procedures are revolutionary! Easily three to five years ahead of the competition. With these new techniques, the risk of cyberpsychosis is reduced more than sixty percent! Making Alphaware cheap and available is just another way Omnitech has made life better for the world." More info...? > Jesus, this article has more bullshit than a box of 'real Amazonian Pheonix feathers.' SOTA? They're just talking about rushed jobs using secondhand Alphaware! Half the time, the poor sap who actually falls for this corporate marketing scam has the 'ware fall apart within a month, necessitating 'normal maintenence measures.' Not only that, but a good part of the 'ware is pre-Crash. Those things don't even have wireless! And the 'cheap' part? I almost choked on my soybar reading that. The prices are....about five percent cheaper. But the terms are hidden in pretty words like 'nongraduating credit extensions' and 'self-correcting subloans.' But this a big, dirty move for Omnitech. They can't be making Zeeland Chemtech and Proteus happy. There's work there, for those who wanna look. > Bionic Savior |
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Lo-Fi Version | Time is now: 26th December 2024 - 09:02 PM |
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