 The most awesome* Shadowrun movie ever, *If by awesome you mean so bad that it's awesome |
 May 2 2010, 03:29 AM
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#1
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Moving Target  Group: Members Posts: 510 Joined: 19-May 06 From: Southern CA Member No.: 8,574  |
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2...755633404214620
Ok, so you won't understand most of this, so I'll translate. The queen is on a train for some kids birthday party and the main hero (obviously a pumped up physical adept/face) skydives onto the train, pauses for a glamour shot, which gives him bonus dice to his disguise check to become the queen. The main guy then steals the crown jewels. Then he rips his queen mask off and walks around until agents start pouring onto the roof of the train. He parries bullets with his magic foldable snowboard and uses his high martial arts to Chuck Norris the guys off the train then goes snowboarding on the sand for a while because some guy harpooned him and snapped the other end to the train. The main hero snowboards in a straight line and is apparently totally abusing Mystic Armor because the guy on the train can't hit the hero and the hero isn't even swerving. Then the hero ollies up from the ground by spending Edge on an athletics check to snowboard-kick the guy (on top of the train) in the face. Then there's a Great Ghost Dance and the main hero builds up the uber mana reserve that he used up parrying bullets with his magic foldable snowboard. Then hero #2 launches himself from the trees on a motorcycle and lands on a boat top. He hands a satchel off to a ganger who's had his lips surgically removed, but oops, hero #2 drops his ID. It turns out he's a cop. He starts whining about how he has 15 kids at home that he has to feed and how he'll totally let the ganger take him as a rating 5/3 contact if the ganger lets him live. The ganger can't really respond back because he's paid extra fees instead of actor fees, so he just gets to grimace like he's constipated. Finally, the cop kneels down to Obviously PRAY, which turns out to be the signal for the hero (who has been holding his breath underwater while on a jetski). Ramping the jetski's engine, the hero spends Edge again and launches himself out of the river and clocks the no lipped ganger (who's on top of the houseboat in the head with his jetski. The cop then picks up the gangers gun and starts shooting at the sky or something, he's totally ineffective. The hero meanwhile jetskies over to the ganger's friends, throwing up so much spray with the jetski that the water itself parries the bullets. The hero then shoots some gangers. The cop ducks down and shoots two gangers and looks up to see that he hero adept has blown up the boat with his MIND. The hero then jumps his jetski up on top of the boat where the cop whines some more. Then the gangers start shooting again -- they have magically all come back to life (either that or it was another boat containing identically dressed gangers that just blew up). It turns out that the hero has the Nagging Wife flaw and has to take time out from the gunfight because she's wondering why he isn't there with her because she just felt her baby kick. The cop then gets a call on his phone and asks the hero if he wants to go to a strip club with the boys. The hero is all worried about his wife and has a -10 nag penalty, so he can't shoot worth beans, so the cop spends edge and kills all the remaining gangers but one. I don't know what happens to him, but then the whiny cop and adept hero look at each other for a moment then blow up the boat because then they get a point of edge back for doing something uber cool like blowing up a boat for no reason. The movie just goes on, but you have to watch it, it's the most awesome* Shadowrun movie ever! *If by awesome you mean so bad that it's awesome |
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May 2 2010, 05:19 AM
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#2
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 344 Joined: 5-January 05 From: Wherever this piece of meat rests. Member No.: 6,937 |
Could only get through the intro. I knew watching more might cause my spleen to explode from laughing so hard. Pretty much par for the course on a Bollywood B movie, but because everybody dances its already twice as entertaining as XXX. Three quick observations:
1. The tax credits to make a movie in India must be near Uwe Boleian to get this dung heap made. 2. They REALLY NEED Pink Mohawks in this movie. 3. Bollywood cheesecake is the best in the world! |
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May 2 2010, 09:56 AM
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#3
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The King In Yellow Group: Dumpshocked Posts: 6,922 Joined: 26-February 05 From: JWD Member No.: 7,121 |
Indian actors work for cheap. Also, the Bollywood industry exists in large part for India's syndicates (Dawood et al) to launder money. Indian actors have a surprisingly high rate of ex-cons, too (hello, Sanyjay Dutt!).
And as for Trash, I heartily recommend movies such as the utterly hilarious Surf Nazis Must Die or Erotic Nights Of The Living Dead. Trash movies are as old as movies themselves and universal. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif) Dhoom is trash even by Bollywood standards, though. As for the hero, he is obviously channeling/possessed ba a great form vedic free spirit. Nothing out of the usual in Shadowrun India ... And I agree on Bollywood cheesecake. |
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May 2 2010, 10:59 AM
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#4
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Target Group: Members Posts: 50 Joined: 20-April 10 From: Cal Free State Member No.: 18,478 |
I think I just found my next character concept.
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May 2 2010, 02:18 PM
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#5
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Running Target Group: Members Posts: 1,288 Joined: 4-September 06 From: The Scandinavian Federation Member No.: 9,300 |
QUOTE (TeOdio @ May 2 2010, 06:19 AM)  Could only get through the intro. I knew watching more might cause my spleen to explode from laughing so hard. Pretty much par for the course on a Bollywood B movie, but because everybody dances its already twice as entertaining as XXX. Three quick observations: 1. The tax credits to make a movie in India must be near Uwe Boleian to get this dung heap made. 2. They REALLY NEED Pink Mohawks in this movie. 3. Bollywood cheesecake is the best in the world! You mean the Artisan skill with dancing specialization isn't used in all of your runs? How could Mr. Johnson brief the party without doing a dance with all his corporate gorillas? |
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May 2 2010, 02:47 PM
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#6
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Moving Target Group: Dumpshocked Posts: 748 Joined: 22-April 07 From: Vermont Member No.: 11,507 |
There is a long and detailed Dhoom: 2 article at Wikipedia.
Apparently the film was very successful, and is available on DVD in the US with English subtitles. |
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May 2 2010, 04:48 PM
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#7
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 510 Joined: 19-May 06 From: Southern CA Member No.: 8,574 |
Oh, apparently, the original hero adept is a shadowrunner and the hero adept who high jumps a jetski is a Lone Star copper.
The way the runner stole the jewel... wow, I'm going to use that the next time I have to break into a museum. The electric rollerblades -- aren't there any rollerblades in Arsenal somewhere? It makes a lot more sense to see a boosted guy jump a few cars than to see Matt Damon miraculously drive across a street intersection just as the cars stop coming. The whole thing is just completely implausible, though. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif) Seriously, the manhole thing? Ridiculous! (But I'm going to do it in a Shadowrun game...) It's like Die Hard meets Night at the Roxbury. |
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May 2 2010, 08:26 PM
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#8
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Running Target Group: Members Posts: 1,026 Joined: 13-February 10 Member No.: 18,155 |
QUOTE (Banaticus @ May 2 2010, 09:48 AM) The way the runner stole the jewel... wow, I'm going to use that the next time I have to break into a museum. The electric rollerblades -- aren't there any rollerblades in Arsenal somewhere? It makes a lot more sense to see a boosted guy jump a few cars than to see Matt Damon miraculously drive across a street intersection just as the cars stop coming. Inline Skates: Page 62, Arsenal. And an item I never make a combat character without. Because the only thing better than a half-flesh, half-metal killing machine wielding an assault rifle/assault cannon/monowhip/swiss army knife of doom is the same thing. With wheels. |
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May 3 2010, 04:31 AM
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#9
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 312 Joined: 3-March 10 Member No.: 18,237 |
Must. Watch. This. Tonight.
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May 3 2010, 03:59 PM
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#10
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Shooting Target Group: Members Posts: 1,768 Joined: 31-October 08 From: Redmond (Yes, really) Member No.: 16,558 |
QUOTE (Faraday @ May 2 2010, 01:26 PM) Inline Skates: Page 62, Arsenal. And an item I never make a combat character without. Because the only thing better than a half-flesh, half-metal killing machine wielding an assault rifle/assault cannon/monowhip/swiss army knife of doom is the same thing. With wheels. QFFT. (No, not a typo (IMG:style_emoticons/default/nyahnyah.gif) ) |
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May 3 2010, 06:39 PM
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#11
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Running Target Group: Members Posts: 1,286 Joined: 24-May 05 From: A 10x10 room with an orc and a treasure chest Member No.: 7,409 |
OMG!!! Epic thank you so much!
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May 3 2010, 07:52 PM
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#12
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Incertum est quo loco te mors expectet; Group: Dumpshocked Posts: 6,546 Joined: 24-October 03 From: DeeCee, U.S. Member No.: 5,760 |
I want the version with Banaticus subtitles/plot points running for the whole movie.
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May 3 2010, 09:15 PM
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#13
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Target Group: Members Posts: 25 Joined: 2-April 10 Member No.: 18,401 |
To much. I got trapped and ended up watching half a hour of it
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May 3 2010, 11:05 PM
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#14
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 297 Joined: 11-April 10 From: Raleigh, NC Member No.: 18,443 |
I love cheese, but maybe it's because that guy went beyond the frontiers of cheese... I thought he was actually really cool. His dance scenes didn't help maintain that, however.
Mesh |
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May 4 2010, 02:31 PM
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#15
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 602 Joined: 2-December 07 From: The corner of Detonation Boulevard and Fascination Street Member No.: 14,464 |
I love it! the choreography is better than some I have seen. And spirits help the next player who takes the dependent neg,quality,wife...they are sooo getting a call in the middle of a firefight....*grin*
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May 4 2010, 06:10 PM
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#16
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Great Dragon Group: Members Posts: 5,679 Joined: 19-September 09 Member No.: 17,652 |
Hehe, this is funny. Did anyone else notice that the train is moving at about 3mph or so?
The queen is surprisingly smart: "If I can see the sky in it, then it can be seen from the sky." |
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May 4 2010, 07:16 PM
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#17
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 165 Joined: 26-February 02 Member No.: 1,002 |
Ronin.
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May 5 2010, 02:08 AM
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#18
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Prime Runner Ascendant Group: Members Posts: 17,568 Joined: 26-March 09 From: Aurora, Colorado Member No.: 17,022 |
QUOTE (Casper @ May 4 2010, 01:16 PM) Ronin. Indeed... Keep the Faith |
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May 5 2010, 08:46 PM
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#19
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Immortal Elf Group: Validating Posts: 7,999 Joined: 26-February 02 Member No.: 1,890 |
Pfft. That's not the most awesome Shadowrun movie.
THIS is (going to be) the most awesome Shadowrun movie. |
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May 6 2010, 01:38 PM
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#20
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Incertum est quo loco te mors expectet; Group: Dumpshocked Posts: 6,546 Joined: 24-October 03 From: DeeCee, U.S. Member No.: 5,760 |
Hilarious - although a remake of the "preview" they had opening the Grindhouse movie. I don't think it's a real movie.
Yeah, I'd love to see Machete regardless (I understand that actor is currently involved with a new Predator movie, though). |
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May 6 2010, 02:26 PM
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#21
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Runner Group: Members Posts: 3,009 Joined: 25-September 06 From: Paris, France Member No.: 9,466 |
No, it's actually a trailer for the real Machete movie that will come out. Isn't it great?
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May 6 2010, 03:44 PM
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#22
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Immortal Elf Group: Validating Posts: 7,999 Joined: 26-February 02 Member No.: 1,890 |
It's coming out in September.
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May 6 2010, 07:20 PM
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#23
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 431 Joined: 15-April 10 Member No.: 18,454 |
Babylon AD was very SR-like.
Get the McGuffin into a foreign country. Deal with a fake SIN to cross the border. Your Johnson set you to take a fall for the corp. You end up with Cyberware you didn't plan on needing. You make a new contact to replace the contact that got splatted by a cruise missile in the box text. |
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May 6 2010, 07:58 PM
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#24
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Dumorimasoddaa Group: Members Posts: 2,687 Joined: 30-March 08 Member No.: 15,830 |
QUOTE (Dr. Funkenstein @ May 5 2010, 09:46 PM) Pfft. That's not the most awesome Shadowrun movie. THIS is (going to be) the most awesome Shadowrun movie. So needs that motor bikw with the jury rigged minigun to show up in a go gang to say the least. |
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May 7 2010, 04:31 AM
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#25
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 312 Joined: 3-March 10 Member No.: 18,237 |
I still havent found time to waste an hour or so watching this movie...
Btw, I was ever so hoping that Machete was a real movie ever since Grindhouse. |
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