 Laughs in the Shadows, Jokes with a Shadowrun twist |
  Oct 19 2003, 06:38 PM
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Shooting Target  Group: Members Posts: 1,677 Joined: 5-June 03 Member No.: 4,689  |
The junior sarariman was assigned to Renraku's security staff induction centre, where he was to advise new recruits about their corporation life insurance policy, especially their Security Crew Revised Estimated Withholdings and Evaluated Dividends (SCREWED).
It wasn't long before the centre's security chief noticed that the sarariman had an almost perfect record for insurance sales, something which had never happened before. Rather than ask directly about this, the security chief stood in the back of the room and listened to the sarariman's sales pitch. The sarariman explained the basics of SCREWED to the new recruits, and then said: "If you have the SCREWED policy and end up protecting Renraku in battle against shadowrunners and are killed, Renraku has to pay 200 k :nuyen: to your beneficiaries. If you don't have this policy and are killed while protecting Renraku, our corporation only has to pay your beneficiaries a maximum of 6 k :nuyen: . "Now," he concluded, "which bunch do you think they are going to send against the shadowrunners first?" |
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Posts in this topic
Talia Invierno Laughs in the Shadows Oct 19 2003, 06:38 PM
Velocity What's long and hard on the guys from Alamos 2... Oct 19 2003, 06:50 PM Sphynx Talia, that was hilarious. Thanks. Oct 19 2003, 07:00 PM sidekick What do you do when there is a Lone Star agent ble... Oct 19 2003, 07:49 PM 252 What do you do when the so called rigger doesn... Oct 19 2003, 09:05 PM ialdabaoth Q: How high can a Dwarf reach?
A: Depends. How mu... Oct 19 2003, 09:48 PM Drain Brain Has anyone heard the one about the Ork, the Troll ... Oct 19 2003, 11:40 PM John Campbell So the shadowrunner walks into a bar... resist 4L ... Oct 20 2003, 12:43 AM Siege Were-tiger physical mage.
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You'd think ONE... Oct 20 2003, 01:10 AM Kagetenshi Three Snoogs walk into a building.
After coming ou... Oct 20 2003, 01:45 AM Kagetenshi Some lightbulb jokes, just to get the pain level n... Oct 20 2003, 04:26 AM Tanka QUOTE (Kagetenshi) ...How many streetsams does it ... Oct 20 2003, 04:29 AM John Campbell How many orks does it take to change a lightbulb?
... Oct 20 2003, 06:24 AM Arethusa Please. Stop. That.
It hurts. Much. Oct 20 2003, 07:47 AM Sphynx What?!? No Shaman jokes? I'm hurt.... c... Oct 20 2003, 08:13 AM sidekick How many honest Immortal Elves does it take to scr... Oct 20 2003, 08:44 AM Kagetenshi How many Shamans does it take to change a lightbul... Oct 20 2003, 12:58 PM Hot Wheels Question: How many trolls does it take to screw in... Oct 20 2003, 01:06 PM Drain Brain QUOTE (Hot Wheels) Question: How many trolls does ... Oct 20 2003, 01:24 PM Sunday_Gamer How many shaman does it take to change a lightbulb... Oct 20 2003, 08:52 PM k1tsune (Crossposted)
How many Mantid spirits does it tak... Oct 20 2003, 09:17 PM Siege How many Johnsons does it take to screw a lightbul... Oct 21 2003, 02:36 AM Talia Invierno Seattle judge: How many times have you been convic... Oct 21 2003, 05:27 PM Talia Invierno Okay, so that last one wasn't particularly Sha... Oct 24 2003, 08:39 PM TinkerGnome Internet Access: $10 - $50 a month
Compu... Oct 24 2003, 09:36 PM Shadow @ Hot Wheels clever girl, clever.
The following ... Oct 24 2003, 10:08 PM kevyn668 A well-to-do street samurai recieves a very expens... Oct 25 2003, 03:30 AM kevyn668 Q: Hey, why can't a ghost in the Shattergraves... Oct 25 2003, 03:34 AM Drain Brain Julio, the Covert Ops specialist was hired by a Mr... Oct 25 2003, 08:55 AM John Campbell Why'd the elf cross the Tir border?
To get to... Oct 25 2003, 09:24 AM Lilt RE: Laughs in the Shadows Oct 25 2003, 10:55 AM Siege Jesus saves you...for a snack!
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"Who's there?... Oct 27 2003, 10:16 AM Sphynx Spaz, the humanoid free spirit is flying over Seat... Oct 27 2003, 10:46 AM Shanshu Freeman QUOTE (Sphynx) Spaz, the humanoid free spirit is f... Oct 27 2003, 01:33 PM Sepherim Guys, could I translate some of these jokes and ha... Oct 30 2003, 04:55 PM Kagetenshi It's probably a safe bet that you aren't t... Oct 30 2003, 05:12 PM Talia Invierno It's okay by me - but I don't know if John... Oct 31 2003, 07:47 PM Kagetenshi I wish I could say that'd never happen in a re... Oct 31 2003, 10:12 PM Shanshu Freeman QUOTE (Kagetenshi) I wish I could say that'd n... Nov 1 2003, 11:24 AM Siege That's why runners need to ask generic, sweepi... Nov 1 2003, 12:48 PM Shanshu Freeman QUOTE (Siege) That's why runners need to ask g... Nov 1 2003, 01:04 PM Buzzed 4 runners break into an ARES research weapons labo... Nov 1 2003, 03:49 PM Siege QUOTE (Buzzed) 4 runners break into an ARES resear... Nov 1 2003, 10:47 PM Kagetenshi Would the troll notice?
~J Nov 1 2003, 10:58 PM Kanada Ten I'm not funny, but it's the thought that c... Nov 1 2003, 11:07 PM Siege QUOTE (Kanada Ten @ Nov 1 2003, 11:07 PM) A G... Nov 1 2003, 11:43 PM Kanada Ten A Grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender ... Nov 2 2003, 01:23 AM Tanka QUOTE (Siege) QUOTE (Buzzed @ Nov 1 2003, 03:... Nov 2 2003, 05:33 AM Kagetenshi What do you call a dragon who's just been thro... Nov 2 2003, 05:40 AM Talia Invierno A face dies and meets St. Peter at the Pearly Gate... Nov 7 2003, 04:35 PM Dim Sum A rigger is comes back from test-driving his lates... Nov 7 2003, 06:28 PM spotlite *takes hat off to Dim Sum*
Heard a variation befo... Nov 7 2003, 06:33 PM Dim Sum Captain Chaos' letter of resignation from his ... Nov 7 2003, 06:41 PM Dim Sum Autowerkz Enterprises, in association with Federat... Nov 7 2003, 06:46 PM Dim Sum Doc Wagon's latest fully automated customer re... Nov 7 2003, 06:59 PM Dim Sum Here are the current Top 25 Country & Western ... Nov 7 2003, 07:11 PM Kagetenshi Warning: non-politically correct joke ahead:
Two ... Nov 8 2003, 04:08 AM Tanka QUOTE (Kagetenshi) Warning: non-politically correc... Nov 8 2003, 04:35 AM Kanada Ten "Well, slit my wrists and call me Shedim.... Nov 8 2003, 05:12 AM Siege "Tell the Fat Lady she's on in five.... Nov 8 2003, 05:13 AM Dim Sum Advertisements in SR ....
NICE PARACHUTE FOR SALE... Nov 10 2003, 02:30 AM Siege Sneaky dog? Psychotic dog, I think.
I've hea... Nov 10 2003, 03:09 AM Dim Sum QUOTE (Siege) Sneaky dog? Psychotic dog, I think.... Nov 10 2003, 03:13 AM Dim Sum A beautiful blonde corp secretary and a young up-a... Nov 10 2003, 03:49 AM Sphynx You hear about the troll who got fired at the M... Nov 10 2003, 08:41 AM Dim Sum Dishy Dan the Daredevil Shadowrunner goes out with... Nov 10 2003, 09:37 AM Dim Sum A hotshot corp exec comes out of Dante's Infer... Nov 10 2003, 10:43 AM Dim Sum The All-American Poetry Contest between the UCAS a... Nov 10 2003, 11:14 AM Dim Sum *Sigh* Yes, I have too much time on my hands .... Nov 10 2003, 11:23 AM Dim Sum A street samurai walks into a runner bar which he... Nov 10 2003, 11:27 AM Siege Oh my...
I'm accepting donations to start ... Nov 10 2003, 01:55 PM Abstruse A Humanis razorboy whose headware wires were cross... Nov 10 2003, 03:02 PM Phaeton A troll walks into a bar and breaks it.
... Nov 10 2003, 09:33 PM Dim Sum @ Siege
Hehehe, I'm going to use the SHA camp... Nov 11 2003, 01:22 AM Dim Sum Siege is going to start a Stop Rigger Abuse campai... Nov 11 2003, 04:34 AM Siege Bah, riggers are expendable. A good hellhound is ... Nov 11 2003, 05:52 AM Kagetenshi www.somethingpositive.net
~J Nov 11 2003, 05:55 AM Siege Hah! Fantastic, thanks.
-Siege Nov 11 2003, 06:14 AM Dim Sum Waha! That's hilarious! Nov 11 2003, 06:27 AM Voorhees QUOTE A street samurai walks into a runner bar whi... Nov 11 2003, 06:43 PM hobgoblin err, he was suppose to take the gold tooth from th... Nov 11 2003, 10:18 PM Fortune QUOTE (Voorhees) I don't get it...
Maybe n... Nov 11 2003, 11:15 PM Voorhees Oh, I get it now. He got it mixed up...haha.... Nov 11 2003, 11:49 PM Siege QUOTE (Fortune) QUOTE (Voorhees @ Nov 12 2003... Nov 12 2003, 04:23 AM Stuffed Koala an adaptation of one of my favourites:
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Phaeton QUOTE (Dim Sum @ Nov 28 2003, 12:12 AM) An ad... Nov 28 2003, 05:46 AM  |
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