Fiction., Because Hyzmarca is bored Options

[hyzmarca]

You've got mail.

Nakamura Nguyen was a ninja with a culturally mismatched Asian name. Did anyone notice that his name was culturally mismatched? Maybe. Did anyone call him on it? No, 'cause ninjas flip out and kill people.

-Ninjas don't flip out and kill people.

Yes they do.

-No they don't. They're silent assassins; they use poisons and stealth and drek.

To kill people.

-Yeah

Just let me tell the story.

Anyway, Nakukura Nguyen is this ninja-

-I though you said that his name was Nakamura Nguyen

His name doesn't matter. Just let me tell the story.

Anyway, he's this ninja but his ninja job is boring because there aren't very many people to kill so he spends most of his time chatting to girls on the matrix and impressing them with his ninja skills.

-That is wrong for so many reasons. Ninjas don't show off and they don't have "ninja jobs" and-

Okay, he might have been a wageslave computer programer but he said that he was a ninja.

Anyway, he spend most of his time talking to girls on the matrix and trying to impress them with his ninja exploits.

-He didn't have any ninja exploits and you said "ninja skills".

Whatever. He was making up drek, okay. He was making up drek to impress girls on the matrix. He was pretending to be an all-frag-that-leet-ninj-er but he was just a drek-full computer programmer who couldn't get his meat laid if he paid for it. He probable wasn't even Chinese. Now let me finish the story.

-Ninjas are from Japan-

Just let me finish the motherfragging story.

Anyway, so he gets this email from his girlfriend.

-You said that he couldn't even pay for it.

His online girlfriend, numbnuts.

He had a lot of girlfriends online. But this one was special. They'd been seeing online each other for a year. They actually celebrated this anniversary the day before. He'd never had an online relationship last that long and he was really into her. I mean he was really into her. He bought a ring and was planning to propose when they met in person.

-You said that this was going to be a scary story.

Just shut up and listen.

Anyway, he was really digging this girl and she sent him an email. So, of course, he read it immediately. But it wasn't a love letter. It was some bizarre drek about how she was the vengeful ghost of a rival ninja clan and had to kill her to avenge her people's honor.

-He wasn't a ninja.

Okay, I don't know exactly what it said but I do know that it said that he was going to die that day. He told a friend that it said that he was going to die. Really. This is what really happened. I heard it from a friend of the friend that he told. He got really upset about it and lock himself in a room behing this mondo ward.

-Yeah, and what happened.

He died. They found him the next day, lock inside the room. His skin and bones were made into a kite with his intestines as the string, I drek you not. The room was locked inside; and the ward was still intact.

-So what killed him?

I don't know, chummer. One of the detectives on the scene was a psychometer and he tried get an impression-

-What did he see?

That just it. No one know. He assensed the mess, then he pulled out his gun and ate a bullet. He brains splattered allover the crime scene and he body fell on the kite. The other cops didn't have time to try to stop him and he was dead before he hit the floor.

-You're full of drek.

I'm serious, this actually happened.

-I've heared this kind of story before. Its just something some guy's mom made up to scare him into going 'outside to enjoy the sunshine' and 'play we real people.' It is complete and total drek and everybody knows it. It's an urban legend.

Every legend on based on fact.

-No they're not. Every legend is based in bulldrek.

What about Bigfoot?

-What about Santa Clause?
I don't have time for this. Sissy just IMed me.

Chummer, your bleeding�

Oh�

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