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[Ancient History]

Some people like to eat frog's legs. Lofwyr likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, anacondas.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Aden lives on Mt. Ararat.

Lofwyr doesn't believe in Australia.

Wilt Chamberlain once claimed to have slept with 20,000 women during his life. Damon calls that "a slow Tuesday."

They tried to carve Dunkelzahn's face onto Mt. Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his scales.

When Lung kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Ryumyo kills a ninja, he uses every part of it.

Thousands of years ago Lofwyr came across an elf. It was so terrified that it fled south into the Wyrmwood. It was also so terrified that all of its descendants are now bitchy emo people.

Damon is responsible for China's over-population. He attended a speed-dating session in Hong Kong and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Dunkelzahn pajamas.

A high tide means Lofwyr is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.

Dragon breath doesn't really kill people. It wipes out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.

The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Lofwyr instead of Smaug. It was only 5 pages long, as Smaug ate the halfing's ass and bankrupted Sauron halfway through the first chapter.

Dunkelzahn proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.

Superman once watched an episode of Wyrm Talk. He then cried himself to sleep.

There is no such thing as global warming. Sirrurg was cold, so he turned the sun up.

Lofwyr doesn't play god. Playing is for children.

Wo Hu Cang Lung. The translation from Mandarin Chinese reads: "Crouching Dragon, Hidden Lung."

Sirrurg cannot love, he can only not kill.

Dunkelzahn once pulled out a single scale and beheaded three men with it.

Ryumyo recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as kamikaze.