The most awesome* Shadowrun movie ever, *If by awesome you mean so bad that it's awesome Options

[Banaticus]

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2...755633404214620

Ok, so you won't understand most of this, so I'll translate. The queen is on a train for some kids birthday party and the main hero (obviously a pumped up physical adept/face) skydives onto the train, pauses for a glamour shot, which gives him bonus dice to his disguise check to become the queen. The main guy then steals the crown jewels. Then he rips his queen mask off and walks around until agents start pouring onto the roof of the train. He parries bullets with his magic foldable snowboard and uses his high martial arts to Chuck Norris the guys off the train then goes snowboarding on the sand for a while because some guy harpooned him and snapped the other end to the train. The main hero snowboards in a straight line and is apparently totally abusing Mystic Armor because the guy on the train can't hit the hero and the hero isn't even swerving. Then the hero ollies up from the ground by spending Edge on an athletics check to snowboard-kick the guy (on top of the train) in the face. Then there's a Great Ghost Dance and the main hero builds up the uber mana reserve that he used up parrying bullets with his magic foldable snowboard.

Then hero #2 launches himself from the trees on a motorcycle and lands on a boat top. He hands a satchel off to a ganger who's had his lips surgically removed, but oops, hero #2 drops his ID. It turns out he's a cop. He starts whining about how he has 15 kids at home that he has to feed and how he'll totally let the ganger take him as a rating 5/3 contact if the ganger lets him live. The ganger can't really respond back because he's paid extra fees instead of actor fees, so he just gets to grimace like he's constipated. Finally, the cop kneels down to Obviously PRAY, which turns out to be the signal for the hero (who has been holding his breath underwater while on a jetski). Ramping the jetski's engine, the hero spends Edge again and launches himself out of the river and clocks the no lipped ganger (who's on top of the houseboat in the head with his jetski.

The cop then picks up the gangers gun and starts shooting at the sky or something, he's totally ineffective. The hero meanwhile jetskies over to the ganger's friends, throwing up so much spray with the jetski that the water itself parries the bullets. The hero then shoots some gangers. The cop ducks down and shoots two gangers and looks up to see that he hero adept has blown up the boat with his MIND. The hero then jumps his jetski up on top of the boat where the cop whines some more. Then the gangers start shooting again -- they have magically all come back to life (either that or it was another boat containing identically dressed gangers that just blew up).

It turns out that the hero has the Nagging Wife flaw and has to take time out from the gunfight because she's wondering why he isn't there with her because she just felt her baby kick. The cop then gets a call on his phone and asks the hero if he wants to go to a strip club with the boys. The hero is all worried about his wife and has a -10 nag penalty, so he can't shoot worth beans, so the cop spends edge and kills all the remaining gangers but one. I don't know what happens to him, but then the whiny cop and adept hero look at each other for a moment then blow up the boat because then they get a point of edge back for doing something uber cool like blowing up a boat for no reason.

The movie just goes on, but you have to watch it, it's the most awesome* Shadowrun movie ever!

*If by awesome you mean so bad that it's awesome