Melee combat Rules, Factoring up your damage. Options

[Brazila]

We recently had a new player join our group, and he brought a new perspective to something our group was taking for granted. We have always said that you can effect your damage in melee combat in the following way: every two net successes can stage the damage code up one, once the damage reaches deadly every two extra successes increase the power by one point. First off I should say that we do use the deadly over damage rules. The new player wanted to use his net successes and increase the damage code, and with those left after raising it to D he did not want to raise his power, but to do leave successes for them to have to soak, and if not soaked then do extra boxes past D. That is how we work ranged combat, but have never used melee that way. He pointed out in the book that it says a player "can" raise his power with extra successes, not that they have to do it. I was wondering how everyone else stages up melee in thsi situation?