 One Last Time, Some Fan Fiction |
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 Nov 12 2005, 03:02 PM
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#1
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Great Dragon  Group: Members Posts: 6,748 Joined: 5-July 02 Member No.: 2,935  |
Howdy y'all. I thought I'd dip my hand into some SR3 fanfiction one last time, and I reckon y'all are about the only ones who'd care to read it. These two pieces have to do with the final campaign arc, System Failure. I hope you enjoy.
One of the appeals for the otaku, to me at least, was their relative youth. Kids forced into a grown-up world, learning about life and death as they play Matrix games. Countdown is a story about the Children's Crusade, a feud between those who follow the Resonance and the Dissonance. All the imagery and mythical hightones of the Winternight plot caught up with me when I wrote Happy Trails. After all, there was FastJack and his JackHammer, a Nordic setting, and one mother of a wyrm... |
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Nov 13 2005, 12:20 AM
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#2
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Great Dragon Group: Members Posts: 6,748 Joined: 5-July 02 Member No.: 2,935 |
That good, eh?
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Nov 13 2005, 12:56 AM
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#3
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 668 Joined: 15-February 05 From: Ontario, Canada Member No.: 7,086 |
I personally liked them.. I just haven't read, touched or otherwised looked at System Failure... and don't know too much about the metaplot, characters or matrix.. I'm a magic-junkie with occassional cyberware leanings
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Nov 13 2005, 01:49 AM
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#4
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Shadowrun Setting Nerd Group: Banned Posts: 3,632 Joined: 28-June 05 From: Pissing on pedestrians from my electronic ivory tower. Member No.: 7,473 |
I think my views on System Failure are well known.
Let's see. Countdown. Not too bad. I'm still unsure as to the purpose of the chapter captions. Some of the Matrix iconography is mixed or muddled, I find it amusing that she could spell cojones even though she didn't even know it's meaning or etymology, and I'm a bit concerned about the skills and professionalism of a combat decker in 2064 who didn't ask or know he might be hired to kill kids. But I've seen worse. The tribe dymanics were strong and interesting. Overall, I'd give it a B+ The other, well, see above. |
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Nov 13 2005, 03:34 AM
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#5
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Great Dragon Group: Members Posts: 6,748 Joined: 5-July 02 Member No.: 2,935 |
Well, I appreciate you taking the time to read it and give a response.
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Nov 13 2005, 03:54 AM
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#6
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Horror Group: Members Posts: 5,322 Joined: 15-June 05 From: BumFuck, New Jersey Member No.: 7,445 |
Countdown was....
Fragging creepy. |
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Nov 13 2005, 05:05 AM
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#7
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Shadowrun Setting Nerd Group: Banned Posts: 3,632 Joined: 28-June 05 From: Pissing on pedestrians from my electronic ivory tower. Member No.: 7,473 |
Well, there's nothing worse than going through the effort of writing something and getting zero feedback (well, there's always not being able to write at all).
I figured I'd focus on room for improvement. Plenty of people will line up to kiss your ass. |
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Nov 13 2005, 06:04 AM
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#8
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Running Target Group: Members Posts: 1,088 Joined: 8-October 04 From: Dallas, TX Member No.: 6,734 |
Yeah, I gotta go with creepy in Countdown. Decent story, altho sometimes it got a little abstract. Probably the main thing that distracted me was why Kimiko wasn't fighting someone in the final battle of otaku v otaku in the meat world. Other than that, it was good.
Happy Trails - great imagery, I wish I knew the folklore behind Perri and FastJack and the CodeEgg, but I don't have System Failure (it's going to be gotten soon enough.) Cool read, tho. |
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Nov 13 2005, 06:08 AM
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#9
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Shadowrun Setting Nerd Group: Banned Posts: 3,632 Joined: 28-June 05 From: Pissing on pedestrians from my electronic ivory tower. Member No.: 7,473 |
Creepy? WTF?
The Norse imagery was nice, but I've had more than my fill of it. |
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Nov 13 2005, 06:15 AM
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#10
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Running Target Group: Members Posts: 1,088 Joined: 8-October 04 From: Dallas, TX Member No.: 6,734 |
Hey SL - keep your commentary to yourself, and I'll keep mine. I just ran my group through the arcology, and I have a different worldview. So if I say it's creepy, to ME it's creepy. Me and me alone.
ANyways... |
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Nov 13 2005, 06:19 AM
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#11
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Shadowrun Setting Nerd Group: Banned Posts: 3,632 Joined: 28-June 05 From: Pissing on pedestrians from my electronic ivory tower. Member No.: 7,473 |
Well, I just fail to see where it is "creepy."
Besides, you're not the only person to describe it that way. |
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Nov 13 2005, 06:23 AM
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#12
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Running Target Group: Members Posts: 1,088 Joined: 8-October 04 From: Dallas, TX Member No.: 6,734 |
It was mostly because two reasons in my case.
A) Had to study Lord of the Flies in highschool (also kids v kids in primitive state gone wrong) B) I know what the pure white eyes really means in Deus-land. To think it was all arranged... |
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Nov 13 2005, 08:13 AM
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#13
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Shadowrun Setting Nerd Group: Banned Posts: 3,632 Joined: 28-June 05 From: Pissing on pedestrians from my electronic ivory tower. Member No.: 7,473 |
Well, I know what they mean as well, but I hardly see how that constitutes grounds for "creepy." Pax screwed over Otaku. News at 11. In other news, water is wet, the sun is hot, and young domestic mammals are generally considered "cute."
(Don't post 20 hours after you've only had a few hours of sleep) This post has been edited by SL James: Nov 13 2005, 08:37 PM |
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Nov 13 2005, 01:14 PM
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#14
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Horror Group: Members Posts: 5,322 Joined: 15-June 05 From: BumFuck, New Jersey Member No.: 7,445 |
Dude, you don't find a bloody to-the-death gang war between a bunch of six-year-olds to be creepy?! It got so creepy that Veteran Shadowrunners backed out!
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Nov 13 2005, 01:49 PM
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#15
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Great Dragon Group: Members Posts: 6,748 Joined: 5-July 02 Member No.: 2,935 |
C'mon guys, no need for arguing, everyone's entitled to their own opinion.
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Nov 13 2005, 05:18 PM
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#16
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Midnight Toker Group: Members Posts: 7,686 Joined: 4-July 04 From: Zombie Drop Bear Santa's Workshop Member No.: 6,456 |
The pacing was ominous. I knew that something very bad was going to happen simply due to the way the chapters are arranged. I didn't know it was going to be Deus. That was jarring. By then I actually had some emotional investment in Kimiko. I liked her and wanted to see her succeed. The implication that she was about to become one of Deus's pawns was creepy because I liked her.
That Ellery was destined to die was well forshadowed or horribly telegraphed, depending on your point of view. |
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Nov 13 2005, 08:38 PM
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#17
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Shadowrun Setting Nerd Group: Banned Posts: 3,632 Joined: 28-June 05 From: Pissing on pedestrians from my electronic ivory tower. Member No.: 7,473 |
I'd edge towards the former, because when it happened it did mean something.
She did go out like a punk, though, which is annoying. |
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Nov 13 2005, 09:27 PM
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#18
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Neophyte Runner Group: Members Posts: 2,174 Joined: 13-May 04 From: UCAS Member No.: 6,327 |
Man, that was creepy and pretty good. I kept expecting one of the kids to hoist a head (any sort of head) on a stick and yell, 'Piggy!' or something like that. :evil:
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Nov 14 2005, 03:08 PM
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#19
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Man In The Machine Group: Dumpshocked Posts: 2,264 Joined: 26-February 02 From: I-495 S Member No.: 1,105 |
Im not reading them untill I get my hands on SF.
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Nov 14 2005, 05:17 PM
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#20
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 518 Joined: 24-February 03 From: Tucson Member No.: 4,153 |
Countdown was alright.
I really loved Happy Trails, however. That was very well done. It was a great epic-style battle. Definitely the stuff legends are made of. :) |
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Nov 14 2005, 05:35 PM
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#21
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Shooting Target Group: Members Posts: 1,507 Joined: 27-January 05 From: ...and I'm all out of bubblegum Member No.: 7,021 |
I don't think that Countdown has much to do with SF. More in line with Threats 2 than anything. Creepy story, though. |
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Nov 14 2005, 07:55 PM
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#22
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Great Dragon Group: Members Posts: 6,748 Joined: 5-July 02 Member No.: 2,935 |
Countdown is an SF story, but you really need to be familiar with Ex Pacis to recognize it, especially at the beginning and at the end. Other than that, it can happen almost any time after Brainscan takes place.
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Nov 14 2005, 08:44 PM
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#23
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 282 Joined: 26-February 02 Member No.: 197 |
Countdown was definitely creepy, what with little kids beating each other to death and harvesting their cyber. Some of the spelling errors were a little distracting, though. Happy Trails, on the other hand, was much better. Great story all around.
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Nov 14 2005, 10:52 PM
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#24
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 143 Joined: 28-August 05 Member No.: 7,631 |
These were both quite good. You should keep posting stuff you write here, AH.
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Nov 15 2005, 12:35 PM
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#25
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Target Group: Members Posts: 68 Joined: 9-October 04 Member No.: 6,738 |
Really awesome stuff AH. I especially liked "Happy Trails", though I agree countdown was quite creepy. Do you have a seperate website where you post your fiction stories, rather than just background and item descriptions? I glanced but didn't see any.
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