Stupid lines NOT to say in Shadowrun?, Real or just thought up now. Options

[ShadowDragon8685]

I'm hoping for some really stupid lines, along the vein of "Don't worry. We have Mr. Johnson in the trunk." But I thought of a really good one, and wanted to see what other ones people had.


What NOT to say to Lone Star (unless you happen to be Neo):
"If you reach for those guns, you're all going down line of duty. I'm done here."

[Gerald Fitzgeral...]

Once, when me and my friends were captured by Renraku security and detained in one of their offices, my friend called upon his Earth elementals to come into the room. He attempted to do it discreetly so that the guards wouldn't know it was him calling them.

I didn't know what he was thinking, so I asked him "Why are you bringing your elementals in here!?"

The guards turned from the elementals to him as he immediately got pissed at me for saying anything. The proceeded to stun his ass with stun batons untill he was drooling all over the floor. He was out cold before he was able to issue any commands to his elementals, so they all went free and started killing everything. (He was well known for being a dick to his elementals.)

I managed to slip out of the room as the elementals caused all sorts of havok. When he woke up he had pissed 'em and pooped 'em and lost a magic point. :rotfl:

Another time, when two of my friends were on the Zurich Orbital in a hallway with some scientist, one friend said to the other "you brought the guns, right?" The first friend sighed and had to "eliminate" the bystander so he wouldn't notify security.

[fourstring_samur...]

something you probably shouldn't say to an overly chromed out combat monster street sam:

"hi."

[Demon_Bob]

Line by a player in a Shadowrun one-shot Convention Game playing a mercenary, "I'm to important to die."

[eidolon]

This one's actually from a game I ran late last year. This line still comes up.

Shortened, bare bones version of the back story:
The Yaks were sending the runners after one of the Triad factions in the guise of one of the other Triad factions. The hope being that an internal Triad war would take them out of the game for a while. So, an elaborate set up was done to make sure the characters would "figure out" that they were being hired by Triad faction 1 to hit Triad faction 2. This goes swimmingly. After a bit of digging, they manage to link their Johnson to Triad faction 1 and buy it HL&S.

The run begins. They head to Chinatown to take care of the small scale drug lab operation being run by Triad faction 2. It is supposed to be done "quietly".

One runner dies, the mage Novas half of the building into nothing fighting a Triad ancestor spirit, almost passes out from the drain. They haul hoop back to the parking garage that their getaway car is in, with Triad faction 2 goons in tow. They manage to give the goons the slip and make it back to the garage. Now, the other mage had been having some trouble with some goon wanna-bes while he was guarding the car. This trouble stopped with armed, half-crazed loonies come running in screaming to start the car. The wanna-be harassing the mage (whom they've made the perception and appropriate knowledge skill roll to discern is Triad faction 2) goes "What the hell happened?" The Nova-tossing mage turns to him, shoves a handful of corp scrip in his hands, and yells at him:

"Tell them the Yaks did it!"

[Sahandrian]

The werewolf, known for constantly speaking at max volume, in the middle of a bar: "And THAT'S why I don't tell people I'm a shifter!"

[Liper]

to lonestar "no you spread em"

[Glyph]

Mr. Johnson: "So, what exactly is your group's specialty?"

Face: "We fight for truth and justice, and defend against evil!"

[Clyde]

"We always plan too much. Let's just go in there."

[PoorHobo]

[Gerald Fitzgeral...]

"He's blind! As far as he knows I'm shoving a dick in his face!"

-Character with a gun in the blind man's face.

"Uh, he's blind. Not deaf."

-Other character

[Slump]

"Where are we going to find a dead hooker?"
"Well, we could make one..."

They were trying to find a quick source of illegal drugs (none had the appropriate contacts at the point), so they decided you could probably find some on a dead hooker.

[FrankTrollman]

The players had just returned from a gruelling couple of weeks on the run in another country. One of them turned to the other.

"Didn't we have a hostage in your garage?"

"Uh... I think we now have a body in my garage."

-Frank

[Shrike30]

"Check THIS out." - Famous last words of a demolitions specialist.

[pragma]

After a combat adept is left in charge of planning one component of a run:

"Alright, we need a rape victim" (looks at only female member of team)

[Calvin Hobbes]

"I won't run with you guys if you're going to kill anybody."

"Well, then, tell you what: we won't kill anyone trying to kill you. Lead by example."

[Oracle]

Ork-Streetsam to a corporate guard aiming a gun at him:

"Don't shoot! We are not the gangers you are looking for! We are shadowrunners!"

To a Great Dragon:

"Frag off! Filthy lizard!"

[Adarael]

Some of the gems from my most recent plot arc, which is a Metal Gear Solid / James Bond style game. Mixed spy vs spy and 'Go to place X without any support, and do crazy shit without being caught.'

1) "Come on, the system can't be that bad..." Said by Matyr, the decker, why exploring the closed system in a biowarfare black lab.

2) Martyr: "So, what is it you do best?"
The Millipede: "I make wine."
Martyr: "You make wine?"
The Millipede: "Oui."
Martyr: "That's not exactly what I meant."
The Millipede:"...out of people."

The Millipede is a French GIGN close combat adept, whose weapon of choice is an axe. He also happens to be a troll.

3) The Black Widow: "Why are we doing so much planning? Let's just do the job."

The Black Widow is marginally the 'face', in that she's known for seducing men, poisoning them, and stealing all of their goodies.

4) Hammer: "Telling me 'we probably shouldn't shoot that man' won't make me not shoot him. You have to be explicit. Tell me, "Don't shoot that man."

Said shortly after mowing down a room full of guards on a stealth infiltration mission. Hammer is, as one might expect, the street sam.

5) The Millipede: "I can't believe we just spent an entire week planning a mission that ended with a man shitting himself unconscious."

[Oracle]

Guy sitting at the controls of a helicopter:

"Damn. Never did that before."

[Birdy]

Anything involving the words/phrases:

+ Oops

+ The black or the red one

+ Campers

+ With all due respect

+ Plan B

+ Crazy Harry

+ Simply


is baaad! Really baaad!

[Bullet Raven]

"Don't worry guys! I can fly the helicopter!"

"Hmm... maybe we should have bought a car, ah well I'll conceal my rocket launcher and ride the bus!"

"Yes of course I'd like to buy some of your tablets, how much?"

[Drace]

From a run a few months ago.

Adept(with no demolition skill): C-4 comes in bulk!!!!

[hyzmarca]

"Eat me."

[The Stainless St...]

"I just mixed-up about 15 kilos of homemade plastique in the mop sink"

[BetaFlame]

Interest Knowledge Skill: 20th Century Sci-Fi.

My captured hermetic mage (only hermetic I ever made) that had surgery done to "unmage" him.

"<character waves hand at a guard> I am -not- the mage you are looking for."

"What the hell are you talking about, asshole?"

"I'm Obi-fucking-WAn Kenobi, asshat! SUCK LIGHTNING BOLT!... oh, damn."

The guy went a little insane after the surgery.