[RL] "Street Sam" for Hire - Dumpshock Forums

[RL] "Street Sam" for Hire, Or maybe "rigger"...or maybe "loser"...

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Mr. Man

Apr 23 2006, 06:25 AM

Post #1

Moving Target

Group: Members
Posts: 313
Joined: 26-February 02
From: UCAS
Member No.: 1,015

I'm no criminal mastermind, but it occurs to me that anyone in posession of skills (any skills) worth $10M probably wouldn't need to advertise them on eBay:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewI...item=4455852432

In case it gets removed (which seems likely):

QUOTE

BODYGUARD,MECHANIC,WHEELMAN,HENCHMAN,BAGMAN
MY LOYALTY, FRIENDSHIP AND SKILLS ARE FOR SALE

Advertised price: US $10,000,000.00
List date: Apr-14-06 18:17:24 PDT
Location: Boulder City, NV, United States
Seller: cyclepartsrus ( 1 )
Feedback: 100% Positive
Member: since Jan-26-04 in United States

HERE'S WHAT YOU GET!

35 YEAR OLD PROFESSIONAL RACER QUALITY DRIVER FAMILIAR WITH DEFENSIVE AS WELL AS AGGRESSIVE DRIVING SKILLS.

PROFESSIONAL MECHANIC AND AUTOMOTIVE MAINTENACE SPECIALIST WITH OWN TOOLS AND EQUIPTMENT. I HAVE A SPECIAL GIFT FOR MOTORCYCLES!

PERSONAL SECURITY SPECIALIST FAMILIAR WITH ALL TYPES OF HAND TO HAND AS WELL AS WEAPONIZED COMBAT! WHATEVER THE SITUATION MAY CALL FOR!

PROFESSIONAL QUALITY CRIMINAL MIND WITH VERY MENACING SIZE AND PRESENCE WITH A HISTORY OF MULTIPLE FELONY AS WELL AS MISDEMEANER CONVICTIONS.I AM CANDID ABOUT MY PAST BECAUSE ANYONE WORTH WORKING FOR WILL PEFORM BACKGROUND CHECKS AND FIND OUT ANYWAY.I HAVE DONE NOTHING TO BE "ASHAMED" OF! I CONSIDER THESE TO BE ASSETS. MY EXPERIENCE WITH THE LEGAL SYSTEM HAS TAUGHT ME HOW TO QUICKLY SIZE UP SITUATIONS AND PEOPLE! LETS JUST SAY I AM NOT AFRAID TO DRAW OUTSIDE THE LINES!

I AM SEEKING PERMENENT EMPLOYMENT WITH SOMEONE WHO NOT ONLY CAN AFFORD MY SKILLS BUT IS DESERVING OF MY LOYALTY AND FRIENDSHIP. I WISH TO PROTECT YOU AND YOUR FAMILY FROM WHATEVER SITUATIONS YOU MAY ENCOUNTER AND AM WILLING TO GO THE EXTRA MILE SO TO SPEAK ! I WOULD PREFER SOMEONE WHO SHARES MY FETISH FOR AUTOS ,MOTORCYCLES AND OTHER TOYS. THAT WAY YOU CAN TAKE FULL ADVANTAGE OF ALL OF MY SKILLS.I AM A STRAIGHT FORWARD GET IT DONE KIND OF GUY AND BELIEVE THAT THE BEST WAY FOR YOU TO PROTECT YOURSELF AND YOUR FAMILY FROM THE "BOOGEYMAN" IS TO HAVE HIM IN YOUR EMPLOY! I AM WILLING TO TRAVEL OR RELOCATE ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD INCLUDING THE "HOT" ZONES ! I AM EXCELLENT WITH CHILDREN AND PETS.

DONT LET THE 10,000,000 PRICE FOOL YOU, IT IS A MEANS TO REACH A DEMOGRAPHIC. IF YOU ARE LOOKING AT 10 MILLION DOLLAR HOMES THEN YOU MIGHT NEED MY SERVICES. EMPLOYMENT CAN BE ON A CONTRACTUAL BASIS WHICH CAN BE NEGOTIATED DEPENDING ON YOUR PARTICULAR NEEDS. REFERENCES AND CRIMINAL RECORD WILL BE SUPPLIED AFTER INITIAL INTERVIEW . MAKE NO MISTAKE I AM NO "SCUMBAG" BUT A PROFESSIONAL WHO LIVES BY A CODE. I AM HIGHLY INTELLEGENT AND COMFORTABLE IN ANY SITUATION.

YOU CAN CONTACT ME AT 702 219 4811 TO SCHEDULE AN INTERVIEW

ASK FOR SCOTT

Kyuhan View Member Profile	Apr 23 2006, 06:28 AM Post #2
Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 276 Joined: 4-September 04 Member No.: 6,628	....Whoa. Any Batmen out there need an Alfred? :spin:

Dranem View Member Profile	Apr 23 2006, 06:29 AM Post #3
Running Target Group: Members Posts: 1,000 Joined: 17-November 05 From: Halifax, Canada Member No.: 7,975	Makes one wish that e-bay were a little more selective and screened auctions better... Like the handyman for sale (George needs a vacation, and we need a vacation from George) auction, this one is clearly bogus. If not then whoever posted this needs serious psychiatric help.

mfb View Member Profile	Apr 23 2006, 06:31 AM Post #4
Immortal Elf Group: Members Posts: 11,410 Joined: 1-October 03 From: Pittsburgh Member No.: 5,670	the all caps makes me want to trust him.

nick012000 View Member Profile	Apr 23 2006, 06:35 AM Post #5
Running Target Group: Members Posts: 1,283 Joined: 17-May 05 Member No.: 7,398	emails link to Blackwater Security's human resources division

fistandantilus4.... fistandantilus4.0 View Member Profile	Apr 23 2006, 06:50 AM Post #6
Uncle Fisty Group: Admin Posts: 13,891 Joined: 3-January 05 From: Next To Her Member No.: 6,928	seems somehow appropriate that he's in Vegas.

frostPDP View Member Profile	Apr 23 2006, 07:42 AM Post #7
Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 279 Joined: 21-March 05 From: Freeport NY Member No.: 7,205	Wow. 1337 much? I guess you can't get arrested for this sort of thing, can you? The best part is this: "REFERENCES AND CRIMINAL RECORD WILL BE SUPPLIED AFTER INITIAL INTERVIEW" I mean really. That just takes trying. Just the kind of person I, as a corporate yuppie who rakes in over 10 million a year, want to have watching my children. Instead of one 10-million goon, why not hire 10 1-million dollar goons? I don't know what top-of-the-line bodyguard prices run, but its gotta be less than that!

Kyuhan View Member Profile	Apr 23 2006, 09:21 AM Post #8
Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 276 Joined: 4-September 04 Member No.: 6,628	I think it might be a lifetime price or something.

Dranem View Member Profile	Apr 23 2006, 09:39 AM Post #9
Running Target Group: Members Posts: 1,000 Joined: 17-November 05 From: Halifax, Canada Member No.: 7,975	If I was in the market for a 10 million $ home, I wouldn't be scouring e-bay for crackheads who claim they are professionals.. I'd seek a known reputable agent.

fistandantilus4....

Apr 23 2006, 10:26 AM

Post #10

Uncle Fisty

Group: Admin
Posts: 13,891
Joined: 3-January 05
From: Next To Her
Member No.: 6,928

QUOTE (Kyuhan)

I think it might be a lifetime price or something.

who wants a body guard for a lifetime!? Really, what good is a 70 yr old body guard? And what, are they supposed to pay the 10M up front, or in installments? Seriosuly, this guy might be able to get some work if he dropped off some zeroes. But otherwise, he's either just wasting his time, or posting a stupid joke and wasting some money.

Grinder View Member Profile	Apr 23 2006, 10:29 AM Post #11
Great, I'm a Dragon... Group: Retired Admins Posts: 6,699 Joined: 8-October 03 From: North Germany Member No.: 5,698	If I understand his text correct, he don't want 10M. Just call him and ask for details, including the price for his service ;)

Thanee

Apr 23 2006, 10:48 AM

Post #12

jacked in

Group: Admin
Posts: 9,036
Joined: 26-February 02
Member No.: 463

QUOTE (mfb)

the all caps makes me want to trust him.

C'mon, he has a 100% positive feedback. :rotfl:

Bye
Thanee

fistandantilus4....

Apr 23 2006, 11:03 AM

Post #13

Uncle Fisty

Group: Admin
Posts: 13,891
Joined: 3-January 05
From: Next To Her
Member No.: 6,928

QUOTE (Grinder)

Just call him and ask for details, including the price for his service ;)

I still don't think I agree with is credentials. I mean really, he gives having a criminal record as a reason to hire him. A criminal record says that he did something bad, and got caught doing it. And if I read this right, he did something bad, and got caught, multiple times. That doesn't really inspire confidence in me. Maybe he should list exactly what it was that he did wrong and got caught doing. I mean, if he was a shop lifter that didn't pay his taxes, and was an a occasional peeping tom, I don' think his services are going to be that high in demand.

Kremlin KOA View Member Profile	Apr 23 2006, 01:44 PM Post #14
Shooting Target Group: Members Posts: 1,590 Joined: 11-September 04 Member No.: 6,650	hey If I get convicted I will have a serious record soon for severe violence perpetrated on a serial child rapist should I be ashamed?

Grinder

Apr 23 2006, 02:05 PM

Post #15

Great, I'm a Dragon...

Group: Retired Admins
Posts: 6,699
Joined: 8-October 03
From: North Germany
Member No.: 5,698

QUOTE (Kremlin KOA)

hey If I get convicted I will have a serious record soon

for severe violence perpetrated on a serial child rapist

should I be ashamed?

This debate shouldn't be discussed here, please.

Kagetenshi

Apr 23 2006, 02:13 PM

Post #16

Manus Celer Dei

Group: Dumpshocked
Posts: 17,006
Joined: 30-December 02
From: Boston
Member No.: 3,802

QUOTE (Kremlin KOA)

hey If I get convicted I will have a serious record soon

for severe violence perpetrated on a serial child rapist

should I be ashamed?

Yes, and what Grinder said.

~J

toturi

Apr 23 2006, 02:14 PM

Post #17

Canon Companion

Group: Members
Posts: 8,021
Joined: 2-March 03
From: The Morgue, Singapore LTG
Member No.: 4,187

QUOTE (fistandantilus3.0)

QUOTE (Kyuhan @ Apr 23 2006, 04:21 AM)

I think it might be a lifetime price or something.

who wants a body guard for a lifetime!? Really, what good is a 70 yr old body guard? And what, are they supposed to pay the 10M up front, or in installments? Seriosuly, this guy might be able to get some work if he dropped off some zeroes. But otherwise, he's either just wasting his time, or posting a stupid joke and wasting some money.

Hey, look at it as an investment. All it takes to break even is Leonisation.

Kem View Member Profile	Apr 23 2006, 02:45 PM Post #18
Target Group: Members Posts: 2 Joined: 7-February 06 Member No.: 8,240	I wouldn't trust any bodyguard that wants to be paid a large sum up front for a lifetime. Doesn't give him much incentive to actually guard me.

Platinum

Apr 23 2006, 03:08 PM

Post #19

Running Target

Group: Members
Posts: 1,095
Joined: 26-February 02
From: Ontari-airee-o
Member No.: 1,115

QUOTE (fistandantilus3.0)

QUOTE (Grinder @ Apr 23 2006, 05:29 AM)

Just call him and ask for details, including the price for his service ;)

I still don't think I agree with is credentials. I mean really, he gives having a criminal record as a reason to hire him. A criminal record says that he did something bad, and got caught doing it. And if I read this right, he did something bad, and got caught, multiple times. That doesn't really inspire confidence in me. Maybe he should list exactly what it was that he did wrong and got caught doing. I mean, if he was a shop lifter that didn't pay his taxes, and was an a occasional peeping tom, I don' think his services are going to be that high in demand.

You find out after the interview that his crimes where FRAUD related.

Dog View Member Profile	Apr 25 2006, 04:08 PM Post #20
Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 903 Joined: 7-February 03 Member No.: 4,025	I'd want a guy who could use spell check. "Misdemeaner"?

emo samurai View Member Profile	Apr 25 2006, 04:25 PM Post #21
Dragon Group: Members Posts: 4,589 Joined: 28-November 05 Member No.: 8,019	Heh, "Invalid Item."

Dog View Member Profile	Apr 25 2006, 04:28 PM Post #22
Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 903 Joined: 7-February 03 Member No.: 4,025	Ooh, ooh! I just had a great idea: Chargen contest! 3ed rules. 120 points. Or whatever. Who can create the best version of "Scott" that thoroughly captures what you think of when you read his ad? This should be fun....

emo samurai View Member Profile	Apr 25 2006, 04:33 PM Post #23
Dragon Group: Members Posts: 4,589 Joined: 28-November 05 Member No.: 8,019	He'd be, like, 10 BP, tops.

Kremlin KOA View Member Profile	Apr 25 2006, 05:53 PM Post #24
Shooting Target Group: Members Posts: 1,590 Joined: 11-September 04 Member No.: 6,650	10BPs in SR4

Dog View Member Profile	Apr 25 2006, 06:58 PM Post #25
Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 903 Joined: 7-February 03 Member No.: 4,025	Careful, Scott might hear you.

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