[RL] Decorated security devices, Look at the cute smily face camera! Options

[PBTHHHHT]

Security devices and art

Thought it'd be funny to have some vivid description of some of the security devices being decorated all funky depending on location/corporation.

[Kyoto Kid]

...little did the runners realise that the potted plant on the table in the corner has been recording all of their moves and sending it in burst packets to the KE security office.

[Fix-it]

actually, I hide pop-up minigun turrets in concrete planters.

and that chandelier/hanging sculpture with the shiny bits? cameras behind two way mirrors.

[Lindt]

"Weirdly enough, I've developed a certain fetishism towards security products. I quite like the broken glass," Mr Megyeri said.

HA!

[stevebugge]

I alsmost always camoflauge the technical security in corporate facilities for two reasons. First it makes it hard for intruders to spot, but sencond and actually more important (to the corp) is makes it less obtrusive to their employees, and is consequently less distracting.

[Dog]

You might wanna go the other route. Really spiff the stuff up to look bigger and scarier than it is. If your guard shack looks like it can take an artillery hit, it'd probably deter some folks... and save money.

[stevebugge]

That would work great for the external stuff that everyone is meant to see, but for interior type countermeasures it would probably be more detrimental to productivity. Having a giant chrome minigun sitting on a smart firing platform next to the Xerox and the watercooler ie probably going to make employees nervous and jumpy. There are studies that show backless cubicles reduce productivity by as much as 40%, imagine what the minigun does. Things like hidden cameras and mics, gas dispensers hidden in the sprinkler system heads, shock plates strategicly placed in the floors, hidden narcoject guns or squirts are the sorts of things I like to hide indoors.

[Dog]

Yes, I was thinking of the stuff facing outward. There's probably an upside and a downside even to that, as far as employee morale.

[PBTHHHHT]

I was thinking something silly, like the minigun on the exterior having a giant smiley face on it. While the cameras are made to look like some garish cartoon face. Especially relevants for a theme park or toy factory.

[Dog]

Reminds me of the urban legend that at Disney World, under those Mickey Mouse costumes are bad-ass armed to the teeth Disney-cops.

[stevebugge]

[ShadowDragon8685]

That's easily enough fixed, Steve.

Inform the employees that those active security measures are constantly judging their performance, and that they have an algorythym to judge from patterns of productivity who may or may not be a rival corporation's employee planted in your location to drag productivity down.

:)

[stevebugge]

That sounds like the Mitsuhama way to me ;)

[PBTHHHHT]

it might still drag morale down in that management does not trust their employees.

[ShadowDragon8685]

But morale's positive benefits on productivity can be replicated by fear. Maintaining morale is difficult, maintaining fear is a simple matter of demonstrating a willingness to execute employees for failure to be productive.

See: the minigun.

[Kanada Ten]

What's a "backless cubicle"?

[stevebugge]

Sorry that was a little less than descriptive. It's a cubicle arrangement where a person is at a desk that is walled on 3 sides but there isn't a wall directly behind them, just open space or a walkway. In a lot of offices you get the "buddy" cubical where you have a three sided enclosure and two employees back to back (Office Space used these I think) another common layout is a 3 sided enclosure where the open space is to the employees side in their normal desk position.

[Kanada Ten]

And the backless is less productive than the buddy, or is it four walls that is the most productive?

[stevebugge]

The backless is apparently the least productive by a large margin. The others varied a bit by industry, the buddy cubes, real offices, and open sides were in a fairly tight range for productivity, but the backless ones universally fell well below that range.

[Dog]

[BlacKat]

I have worked on offices that used the backless system for cubes just to cut down on space. We had enough desk space for a computer and phone and that was about it. In many cases if we needed to take notes during a call we used wordpad or had a notebook in our laps. The main reason companies like the backless system is that it is very easy for a supervisor or team lead to see if you are doing your work or slacking off. Its poor for performance due to space loss, in our case, and the perpetual feeling that someone is staring at you from behind. Nervouse employees are generally poor performers. Ask anyone who's company has announced that there will be layoffs but not which departments will be affected.

BlacKat

[ShadowDragon8685]

Again, I'm telling you...

Just tell them that the giant, shining chrome minigun next to the water cooler is authorized to shoot corporate spies. And that poor performance is the primary way it judges who's a corporate spy.


Fear is an execelent motivator.

[PBTHHHHT]

But what sort of performance are you looking for, quality or quantity? Because with poor morale, quantity can still be achieved, but quality? Eh.

And shadow your argument still won't make people comforted because there's the constant worry about 'glitches' with the system. Work in a place that has a minigun by the freaking water cooler? Frag that.

[Dog]

But install a water-cooler at the mini-gun station, and the security department has become a friend for life! :D

[Platinum]