IPB

Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

2 Pages V  < 1 2  
 Reply to this topicStart new topic
> All (or most) jokes aside..., I'm almost afraid of this one.
Willowhugger
post Jun 1 2006, 02:58 AM
Post #26


Target
*

Group: Members
Posts: 74
Joined: 28-May 06
Member No.: 8,619
QUOTE (HMHVV Hunter)
QUOTE (Smiley @ May 31 2006, 10:54 PM)
If you need to smuggle something...

Decker to troll: How the hell did you sneak that Roomsweeper past the guards? The patted us all down for christs sake.

Troll: I hid it where no sane person would feel up a troll.

-from the Shadowrun Quotefile

From the Mr. Johnson thread...

447. Please inform the troll that clogging up their toilets is not a plan.
448. No sane man goes to the bathroom after a Troll.
449. You can hide an AK-47 in there I know....
450. It doesn't mean you SHOULD.
451. Referring to 437, yes I suppose all male orcs are ugly and girl orcs just have cute little tusks. Now stop pointing out out!
452. Yes, your orc girlfriend is up for ANYTHING we know....
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Smiley
post Jun 1 2006, 02:59 AM
Post #27


Running Target
***

Group: Members
Posts: 1,102
Joined: 23-March 04
From: The Grizzly Grunion, in a VIP room.
Member No.: 6,191
Decker: I hope you wash your hands after you use it.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
hobgoblin
post Jun 1 2006, 03:00 AM
Post #28


panda!
**********

Group: Members
Posts: 10,331
Joined: 8-March 02
From: north of central europe
Member No.: 2,242
QUOTE (HMHVV Hunter)
QUOTE (Smiley @ May 31 2006, 10:54 PM)
If you need to smuggle something...

Decker to troll: How the hell did you sneak that Roomsweeper past the guards? The patted us all down for christs sake.

Troll: I hid it where no sane person would feel up a troll.

-from the Shadowrun Quotefile

i just hope he didnt "oops" that test...
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Wounded Ronin
post Jun 1 2006, 03:00 AM
Post #29


Great Dragon
*********

Group: Members
Posts: 6,640
Joined: 6-June 04
Member No.: 6,383
QUOTE (Willowhugger)
QUOTE (Ancient History @ May 31 2006, 09:34 PM)
QUOTE (Willowhugger @ Jun 1 2006, 02:30 AM)
Half-Elven

Which half? Top or bottom?

It's a tough call.

Elves have notoriously poor breasts and bottoms.

Thank god for surgical implants.

Everyone knows that the secondary sexual characteristics aren't as important as what's inside a person...

...which means in this case the sex organs.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
hobgoblin
post Jun 1 2006, 03:02 AM
Post #30


panda!
**********

Group: Members
Posts: 10,331
Joined: 8-March 02
From: north of central europe
Member No.: 2,242
QUOTE (Wounded Ronin)
QUOTE (Willowhugger @ May 31 2006, 09:35 PM)
QUOTE (Ancient History @ May 31 2006, 09:34 PM)
QUOTE (Willowhugger @ Jun 1 2006, 02:30 AM)
Half-Elven

Which half? Top or bottom?

It's a tough call.

Elves have notoriously poor breasts and bottoms.

Thank god for surgical implants.

Everyone knows that the secondary sexual characteristics aren't as important as what's inside a person...

...which means in this case the sex organs.

person? i didnt know that was a requirement :silly:
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Willowhugger
post Jun 1 2006, 03:05 AM
Post #31


Target
*

Group: Members
Posts: 74
Joined: 28-May 06
Member No.: 8,619
The only thing worse than a living girlfriend's wrath is a Virtual Reality one whom can takeover nukes to take out her displease.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
hyzmarca
post Jun 1 2006, 03:22 AM
Post #32


Midnight Toker
**********

Group: Members
Posts: 7,686
Joined: 4-July 04
From: Zombie Drop Bear Santa's Workshop
Member No.: 6,456
That reminds me; I wonder if Magera and Dodger will be getting back together after the events of System Failure.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
SL James
post Jun 1 2006, 10:58 AM
Post #33


Shadowrun Setting Nerd
*******

Group: Banned
Posts: 3,632
Joined: 28-June 05
From: Pissing on pedestrians from my electronic ivory tower.
Member No.: 7,473
QUOTE (Smiley @ May 31 2006, 07:24 PM)
QUOTE (Willowhugger @ May 31 2006, 08:12 PM)
Robin Hood Rule: A player coined this term in D&D and it still applies. Pretty much by obligation if you save a woman's life she's obligated to sleep with you.  It's an amusing rule that gets quoted frequently at the table.

Just Assume that Players usually have no trouble getting laid: A frequent rule is that they're dangerous, often goodlooking, and plenty of women or men are attracted to people with an aura of power.

I LIKE IT!

...maybe they'll lay off the 5 Minute Rule...

Good luck with that. If your players won't, what makes you think their characters will?

QUOTE (Willowhugger)
This is Shadowrun.

*after half an hour*

Female: *wipes mouth* That'll be 30 nunyens.

PC: God damnit. Is nothing free?

Female: Nope.

She spends 30 minutes AND swallows?! For going above and beyond her "obligation," she deserves the 30Y.

QUOTE (Willowhugger)
Good DMing: A breathtakingly attractive redheaded Half-Elven woman with a miniskirt and low cut bodice slides over to you with an ankh tatooed between her breasts.  The woman's green eyes seem particularly alluring and its obvious she's got pheremone enhancers amongst probable other benefits.

She says unto you (doesn't attempt to do the voice) "I'd like to hire you for a mission and I'll make it worth your while."

hahaha

I had a Ms. Johnson do that to a notoriously lecherous PC. She had his head so twisted around her (Oh, did I mention she's a social adept?) that she was hiring him to work for her until he got killed doing high-risk jobs, and at the end of the day he was pretty close to paying her for the privilege.

God I love SR3's social skills rules.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Jrayjoker
post Jun 1 2006, 01:23 PM
Post #34


Neophyte Runner
*****

Group: Members
Posts: 2,453
Joined: 17-September 04
From: St. Paul
Member No.: 6,675
I honestly don't see why this thread isn't locked yet. But maybe I am a prude.

<<shrug>>
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Platinum
post Jun 1 2006, 02:36 PM
Post #35


Running Target
***

Group: Members
Posts: 1,095
Joined: 26-February 02
From: Ontari-airee-o
Member No.: 1,115
This is how things usually go in our games.

http://www.commissionedcomic.com/index.php...date=2005-02-14
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
SL James
post Jun 1 2006, 04:35 PM
Post #36


Shadowrun Setting Nerd
*******

Group: Banned
Posts: 3,632
Joined: 28-June 05
From: Pissing on pedestrians from my electronic ivory tower.
Member No.: 7,473
Can't some people talk about ... Oh, wait. Wrong forum.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Shrike30
post Jun 1 2006, 06:36 PM
Post #37


Runner
******

Group: Members
Posts: 2,556
Joined: 26-February 02
From: Seattle
Member No.: 98
QUOTE (Smiley)
Hey, I happen to LIKE elf bottoms.

ELF BOOTY GOT SOUL!
ELF GIRLS LIKE TO ROCK 'N ROLL!
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Kyoto Kid
post Jun 1 2006, 08:45 PM
Post #38


Bushido Cowgirl
*********

Group: Members
Posts: 5,782
Joined: 8-July 05
From: On the Double K Ranch a half day's ride out of Phlogiston Flats
Member No.: 7,490
QUOTE (Ancient History)
QUOTE (Willowhugger @ Jun 1 2006, 02:30 AM)
Half-Elven

Which half? Top or bottom?

...wait....either she's all elven or not.

While there are racial variants, offspring of mixed race parents still follow one or the other parent's metatype. There are no "half-races".
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
SL James
post Jun 1 2006, 09:37 PM
Post #39


Shadowrun Setting Nerd
*******

Group: Banned
Posts: 3,632
Joined: 28-June 05
From: Pissing on pedestrians from my electronic ivory tower.
Member No.: 7,473
... in SR. However, I don't think he was referring to SR (the half-elf and DM kind of tipped me off).
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Willowhugger
post Jun 1 2006, 11:20 PM
Post #40


Target
*

Group: Members
Posts: 74
Joined: 28-May 06
Member No.: 8,619
QUOTE (Jrayjoker)
I honestly don't see why this thread isn't locked yet. But maybe I am a prude.

<<shrug>>

Well to be honest. It is something thats relavent to gaming. Players kill lots of people so why not talk about them trying to score?

*shrug*
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
hyzmarca
post Jun 1 2006, 11:43 PM
Post #41


Midnight Toker
**********

Group: Members
Posts: 7,686
Joined: 4-July 04
From: Zombie Drop Bear Santa's Workshop
Member No.: 6,456
QUOTE (Shrike30)
QUOTE (Smiley @ May 31 2006, 06:40 PM)
Hey, I happen to LIKE elf bottoms.

ELF BOOTY GOT SOUL!
ELF GIRLS LIKE TO ROCK 'N ROLL!

Why couldn't she be the other type of Mermaid, with the top half of a fish and the bottom half of a woman?
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Shrike30
post Jun 1 2006, 11:58 PM
Post #42


Runner
******

Group: Members
Posts: 2,556
Joined: 26-February 02
From: Seattle
Member No.: 98
QUOTE (hyzmarca)
Why couldn't she be the other type of Mermaid, with the top half of a fish and the bottom half of a woman?

One glance... was all it took,
she gave me the Innsmouth look...
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
SL James
post Jun 2 2006, 05:07 AM
Post #43


Shadowrun Setting Nerd
*******

Group: Banned
Posts: 3,632
Joined: 28-June 05
From: Pissing on pedestrians from my electronic ivory tower.
Member No.: 7,473
QUOTE (Shrike30)
QUOTE (Smiley @ May 31 2006, 06:40 PM)
Hey, I happen to LIKE elf bottoms.

ELF BOOTY GOT SOUL!
ELF GIRLS LIKE TO ROCK 'N ROLL!

How did I miss that post?

GENIUS!
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
nezumi
post Jun 2 2006, 01:18 PM
Post #44


Incertum est quo loco te mors expectet;
*********

Group: Dumpshocked
Posts: 6,548
Joined: 24-October 03
From: DeeCee, U.S.
Member No.: 5,760
QUOTE (Willowhugger)
QUOTE (Jrayjoker @ Jun 1 2006, 08:23 AM)
I honestly don't see why this thread isn't locked yet. But maybe I am a prude.

<<shrug>>

Well to be honest. It is something thats relavent to gaming. Players kill lots of people so why not talk about them trying to score?

*shrug*

Because violence is fun for the whole family. But sex is only between a man and a woman locked in holy matrimony.

QUOTE
Why couldn't she be the other type of Mermaid, with the top half of a fish and the bottom half of a woman?


Meow : )

I shan't make any comments about the smell, though.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Ancient History
post Jun 2 2006, 01:25 PM
Post #45


Great Dragon
*********

Group: Members
Posts: 6,748
Joined: 5-July 02
Member No.: 2,935
Best bass you've ever had...
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Crusher Bob
post Jun 2 2006, 03:49 PM
Post #46


Runner
******

Group: Members
Posts: 2,598
Joined: 15-March 03
From: Hong Kong
Member No.: 4,253
Sorry, I meant to say that our lodgings were on the edge of the undead distrct's red-light distrcit. You know what they say, "Nothing like a cold girl on a hot night".
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
mfb
post Jun 2 2006, 05:11 PM
Post #47


Immortal Elf
**********

Group: Members
Posts: 11,410
Joined: 1-October 03
From: Pittsburgh
Member No.: 5,670
i'm going to need a bigger wall, to make sure you're all first against it when the revolution comes.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
psyberian
post Jun 2 2006, 08:04 PM
Post #48


Target
*

Group: Members
Posts: 24
Joined: 23-June 03
Member No.: 4,796
QUOTE (Crusher Bob)
Sorry, I meant to say that our lodgings were on the edge of the undead distrct's red-light distrcit.  You know what they say, "Nothing like a cold girl on a hot night".

Ok, I just have to steal a quote from a friend now.

"Undead doesn't mean unperson"
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Arethusa
post Jun 2 2006, 09:53 PM
Post #49


Runner
******

Group: Members
Posts: 2,901
Joined: 19-June 03
Member No.: 4,775
QUOTE (SL James)
QUOTE (Shrike30 @ Jun 1 2006, 12:36 PM)
QUOTE (Smiley @ May 31 2006, 06:40 PM)
Hey, I happen to LIKE elf bottoms.

ELF BOOTY GOT SOUL!
ELF GIRLS LIKE TO ROCK 'N ROLL!

How did I miss that post?

GENIUS!

It's from Lords of the Rhymes. Ain't no party like a hobbit party.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
warrior_allanon
post Jun 3 2006, 01:33 AM
Post #50


Moving Target
**

Group: Members
Posts: 775
Joined: 31-March 05
From: florida
Member No.: 7,273
QUOTE (Willowhugger)
[QUOTE=Wounded Robin]
The Girlfriend/The Kept Mistress: A reference where the PC creates a character that he's involved with that may occasionally show up as background material. The DM can fill in details with the PCs permission or provide a general selection. The Kept mistress is more lurid where the Shadowrunner's lifestyle includes a permanent sex partner he keeps in a varying foramlity state of for goodies.

better make that

the girlfriend/kept mistress/fixer of the opposite sex

this always makes negotiations much more interesting. but then again my GM is a vicious fragger who likes to frag the runners at every chance he gets because he's let us get to powerful.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
« Next Oldest · Shadowrun · Next Newest »
 

2 Pages V  < 1 2
Reply to this topicStart new topic

 

Display Mode: Standard · Switch to: Linear+ · Switch to: Outline

Track this topic · Email this topic · Print this topic · Subscribe to this forum

RSS Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 23rd April 2026 - 02:47 AM
Powered By IP.Board © 2026  IPS, Inc.

Topps, Inc has sole ownership of the names, logo, artwork, marks, photographs, sounds, audio, video and/or any proprietary material used in connection with the game Shadowrun. Topps, Inc has granted permission to the Dumpshock Forums to use such names, logos, artwork, marks and/or any proprietary materials for promotional and informational purposes on its website but does not endorse, and is not affiliated with the Dumpshock Forums in any official capacity whatsoever.