 The "Stupidly proving things in real life" thread., Now with more crazy in every bite! |
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 Aug 25 2006, 07:29 PM
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#1
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Moving Target  Group: Members Posts: 560 Joined: 21-December 04 Member No.: 6,893  |
Everyone has had these moments.
Me: I use my multi-tool. GM: Lemme check your character sheet. (checks character sheet). GM: Okay, you've got a leatherman, a soldering iron, a multimeter, a palm pilot, assorted needles, superglue, and a spool of monowire...in your pockets? Me: Yeah. (I empty my pockets). Me: Just pretend that the fishing line is monowire. I generally have WAY too much stuff in my pockets. Anyone else have similar stories? |
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Aug 25 2006, 10:26 PM
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#2
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Running Target Group: Members Posts: 1,213 Joined: 10-March 02 From: Back from the abyss. Member No.: 2,316 |
Not that much crap. But once in a computer store me and a friend were looking at flatbed scanners and the sales rep form the company was there for the scanner we were looking at, by chance.
He approached and started to try and sell us on his product. As a joke I pointed to a part of the machine under the glass and asked him what that was, none of the other flat beds had it, including the ones in his own products. He replied I dont know, Id have to take the glass off to see it. I looked at him and said ok, with a tone that said Im waiting. He looked at us with a straight face realizing we were waiting for him to take it apart. He says well I dont have a screwdriver to take it apart. Before he could finish the snetence my friend and I were handing him our leathermans. He walked away. Another time I had my backpack with me, which usually had several rolls of tape of verious kinds, Duct tape included, among tons of other things. A different friend and I were walking down a sidewalk and this kid on skates come flying at us and swerves out of the way at the last second. I didnt care, but then I noticed he was doing to old people also. He was purposely trying to scare people. For me I didnt care because I was so much bigger then him if he hit me I would have hurt him. But I didnt like him doing it to the elderly in the area. So I warned him to stop messing with the old people, he got smart with me. I told him again not to bother the old people. Coming out of the convience store (the only reason I was walking down that sidewalk) I see him do it again. I looked at my friend and said we should tie him up and leave him somewhere. So we did. He come flying at us again, and tried to swerve around us. My friend grabbed him and tackled him to the ground. I pulled out a roll of duct tape. Taped his mouth, then tied his hands together behind his back, then his ankles and knees. We then dragged him behind a house and layed him in some tall bushes. Told him to stop fucking with old people. Then walked off. It seems those stories happen more because we have those things, then we happen to have those things as the story developes. |
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Aug 25 2006, 10:51 PM
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#3
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Midnight Toker Group: Members Posts: 7,686 Joined: 4-July 04 From: Zombie Drop Bear Santa's Workshop Member No.: 6,456 |
So you're basicly admiting to kidnapping on an internet forum.
You do understand that your IP address can be traced right? |
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Aug 26 2006, 12:16 AM
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#4
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 684 Joined: 8-April 06 From: My dorm room Member No.: 8,438 |
Yeah, you really shouldn't brag about commiting felonies. Yes, the boy was deliberately commiting a criminal act by being a public nuisance, but that doesn't justify committing an offense against his person. Why didn't you and your friend report him to the police? Most people - myself included - would consider that a reasonable thing to do in that situation.
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Aug 26 2006, 02:49 AM
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#5
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Running Target Group: Members Posts: 1,213 Joined: 10-March 02 From: Back from the abyss. Member No.: 2,316 |
No I have no clue that my IP is logged then could be traced back to my MAC address as proof that is the router I have connected to the DSL line I have. Though it could be argued that with my wireless router any one of the 3 people in my neighborhood could have done it. I mean All I have to do is turn off my MAC filtering, allow all wireless connections, make my SSID broadcasting, turn off IP filtering, allow more then the 3 connection limit I put in the router and kill my WPA2 settings and anyone could accidently find my network and log into it. I mean I know I do it all the time when my router goes down for what ever reason yet I still have internet access, then checking my associated network and find out IM on my neighbors network again, or the guys down the street, or the one that randomly comes up once in a while. Hell who knows if it wasnt a Wardriver cracking my network? Of course I know I can be traced and no, I dont give a shit. I mean the kid lived 3 blocks over from me. If they were going to press charges they would have done it 10+ years ago, when I did it. Its not like everyone in the neighborhood didnt know me. I was on a first name basis with most of the police in the first place. And I didnt call the police because they have other things to do like arrest criminals not mess with kids that would have laughed at the cop and continued to do the same stunt once the cop left. After that day he never rode his skates infront of anyone that I seen. LOL And that was just the beginning of the night anyway, the sun was still up. I just needed smokes before I went out for the night. I didnt carry a bag of tape and other tools because Im a boy scout. |
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Aug 26 2006, 03:30 AM
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#6
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 775 Joined: 31-March 05 From: florida Member No.: 7,273 |
i was fixing to point out the same thing as frag, going to the cops in that instance would have been past useless, IF the cops had done anything about it, and thats a big if, the kid would have ignored the cops and kept doing it. This way he got the point that people would and could stop him if he didnt stop, i hate to say it, but the mentality is almost a signature of this generation. they dont care, and unless you show that you mean business, they dont listen.
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Aug 26 2006, 04:54 AM
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#7
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 684 Joined: 8-April 06 From: My dorm room Member No.: 8,438 |
So I guess it's not really a crime if you don't get charged for it. :sarcasm:
I asked my dad (a law professor) about this, and he says that, because the boy was attempting to cause the fear of physical harm in other people, his actions would be considered misdemeanor assault in most states. He grants that your state might be less (or more) strict than most, but you'll have to check your state's penal code before you can say that with any certainty. He also grants that the boy may have only gotten a slap on the wrist, especially if he was a juvenile at the time. But he does not grant that what you and your friend did was in any way justified: in fact, he tells me that the pair of you committed felony assault and kidnapping. True, you are obligated to try and prevent people from committing crimes, but if you can't do so without committing a crime yourself, you should always contact the police and let them handle it. I find it interesting how you can admit to being a violent felon and still try to present yourself as a heroic and admirable figure. Needless to say, I'm not convinced of that. |
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Aug 26 2006, 06:09 AM
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#8
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Running Target Group: Members Posts: 1,213 Joined: 10-March 02 From: Back from the abyss. Member No.: 2,316 |
I never said I didnt commit a crime, charged or not. I stated the fact that if they wanted to charge me they would have 10+ years ago and they didnt.
I also never asked for your fathers approval, I dont give two shits if he does, I dont even give a shit what my father thinks, so why would I care about yours? Yeah Im going to call the cops for every slight against me. Did you know if you yell at someone in my state they could be arrested for verbal assualt? If I mention any form of threat wether I have the means to carry it out or not I could be arrested for that threat? So do I call the cops everytime someone calls me and ignorant asshole that they are going to kill? No, I laugh at them and if they attempt to carry out such a threat I take care of it. Its always a good use of limited resources. You know calling the police to handle a pain in the ass punk rather then arresting real criminals like me. Would you feel better if a cop was slapping a kid on the wrist for messing with old people, or making sure someone isnt robbing a liqour store or mugging that old lady? Hey everybody has their own set of rules, no matter how skewed or twisted. And I wasnt here to convince you of anything. I was posting about things in your pockets that you happen to have when the need arises. Then I answered your question as to why I didnt call the cops. Ill never claim to be robin hood, I just do what I feel like doing, and if that is making sure punks dont bother old people by committing felonies then thats what Ill do. You should hear some of the stuff we did when we felt like being bad. :) EDIT: Oh yeah, about admitting things on a public forum. I can admit that I killed 20 homeless people, that I enjoy beating hookers and anyother crime. But until someone come forwad to press charges or the police find evidence to link me to said crime there isnt a damn thing they can do about it. In fact if the police would like they can ask nicely and Ill tell them where I live, save them all the trouble of tracing me through my Ip and all that. :) |
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Aug 26 2006, 07:04 AM
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#9
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 684 Joined: 8-April 06 From: My dorm room Member No.: 8,438 |
Well, I guess I can respect that you believe you did the right thing, and I never really expected you to change your views. All I really wanted was for you to admit that your actions were indeed illegal, and you've pretty much done that, so now I'm satisfied. :) (BTW, Dad neither approves nor disapproves of your actions: he viewed the situation in a purely intellectual fashion, and told me exactly what crimes were committed - and what a 'reasonable [i.e. law-abiding] man' would have done - without passing moral judgment on anyone involved. He even made it a special point of mentioning the concessions he could make to you.) It doesn't change my opinions of your actions, though, but I'll concede that I'm more uptight about rule-breaking and stuff than most people. I mean, I disapprove of churches that run gift shops, for crying out loud. :D
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Aug 26 2006, 07:41 AM
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#10
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Running Target Group: Members Posts: 1,213 Joined: 10-March 02 From: Back from the abyss. Member No.: 2,316 |
Well, sorry for being an ass about my reply. I know my moral compass is broke. I make no bones about it. Nor do I care to change it. That kid was terrorizing old people and if he slipped once, he could have done serious damage to an elderly person. That was in my eyes worth tieing him up and throwing him in a bush. Would I do it again? Sure, why not? It was certainly legally wrong, but according to my morals it was well justified and until I do something where I cant sleep at night, Ill work on changing.
Mind you my moral code is not good for everyone. Your father's colleagues have made plenty off me in the past and Im certain they will in the future. Oh and today with the current air of uneasiness, they probably could have said I was a terrorist or something and added more charges. :) Not to mention he was a minor so Im sure they would have more charges for that. |
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Aug 26 2006, 11:05 AM
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#11
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Free Spirit Group: Dumpshocked Posts: 3,944 Joined: 26-February 02 From: Bloomington, IN UCAS Member No.: 1,920 |
Frag-o, I think you did all right. I recall doing silly crap as a kid and having the shit scared out of me by non law enforcement people. I am sure some of it could have been considered assault. But it improved my character. Somewhere over the years, good people have to worry about arrests and lawsuits for trying to improve the world. Punks and criminals have taken advantage of this liberal mindframe and manipulated it to their advantage.
If all people were inherently good and wanted to be good people, such a liberal mindframe might work. Too bad people are inherently evil. Now let's get back on topic. Was the sales rep committing any crimes by making an excuse that was clearly a lie? Oh, wait, that's still not on topic. I had a box knife (a razor blade held in place by a piece of metal then surrounded by another piece of metal or plastic that slides to cover/uncover the blade) in my pocket once when I was arrested (wrongfully) once. I almost forgot that I had it as I used one to open cardboard boxes at work (grocery store clerk) and carried a spare in my jacket in case I forgot my usual box cutter. I said no when asked if I had any weapons, then remembered it as they went ahead and searched me. I even told them where it was and helped them find it after they couldn't locate it. Then they acted like they had found a brick of C4 when I said yes, that's it, holding it up like it proved my guilt. I was getting accused of using it to carve peoples faces when I told them I worked in a grocery store and opened boxes with it. Btw, I got pulled over for allegedly going 35 in a 30 mph zone downhill for a half a block. It just so happened that I looked at my speedometer at that instant and the needle was touching the high side of the 30 mark. What is funny is one of the streets the cop gave as where he had observed me speeding was actually a named ally, so if I wasn't familiar with that ally, I could have wondered where Prow was and how far I had been going 5 miles over the posted limit, as the other street was quite well known. I think what got me arrested was laughing at the absurdness of allegedly speeding 5 miles over the limit for a half block while going downhill. The charge for which I was arrested? Resisting arrest. I could go on, but the story gets stupider the further it goes. Then comes the cover-up, then comes the poplice report where the officer clears me of any of the crimes I did commit. |
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Aug 29 2006, 02:54 AM
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#12
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 560 Joined: 21-December 04 Member No.: 6,893 |
You're using the Shadowrun solution to assholes. You need to use the AD&D 3.5e edition. TRIP ATTACK! That, or an airhorn. You can never go wrong with airhorn-ing someone skating too close to you. Works well on dogs, too. Once, while fixing someone's computer, I got fed up with their dog. It was a Doberman mix, which kept nipping at my ankles. The dog apparently thought it was a sheltie, because its "playful nips" came close to drawing blood through Khaki. It got to the point where I said "Look, if your dog bites me again, I'll bite back." They laughed, of course. After being nipped while carrying 300$+ of computer, I dropped down, shoved the dog over with my shoulder, and put it in a half-nelson. The look on the owners' face was priceless. |
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Aug 29 2006, 03:51 AM
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#13
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Running Target Group: Members Posts: 1,213 Joined: 10-March 02 From: Back from the abyss. Member No.: 2,316 |
My brother was dog sitting his sister in laws jack russel. I went over his house and it jump up and nipped my thigh. At first I thought maybe it clawed me, then it bit the other thigh. As a reflex I pushed it away when I realized it was biting me. It charged back at me, so I kicked the think in the chest adn it got about 4 feet of air before it landed on its head. I threw my stuff on the floor as it come runnign back me and I got on my knees and punced it in the face. It charged again, so I strangled it till it nearly passed out. After that it listens to everythign I say. The damn thing was so hyper instead of training the damn thing the owners got the vets to give them dog tranqs and they crated ti at night. Now if its over my brothers, it sits by my side and follows me around, comes when I call and sits when I look at it. LOL
Ill think of some more equiped for things on coincedence stories later. lol |
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Aug 29 2006, 06:37 PM
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#14
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 560 Joined: 21-December 04 Member No.: 6,893 |
....you should consider anger management. BTW, that's one of the solutions where duct-taping the dog to the wall might have made more sense. You could've killed it. |
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Aug 29 2006, 06:42 PM
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#15
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Immortal Elf Group: Members Posts: 11,410 Joined: 1-October 03 From: Pittsburgh Member No.: 5,670 |
psh. little bastard obviously needed a lesson in what happens when little things attack big things.
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Aug 29 2006, 06:54 PM
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#16
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Freelance Elf Group: Dumpshocked Posts: 7,324 Joined: 30-September 04 From: Texas Member No.: 6,714 |
One can only hope someday Frag gets the same lesson. |
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Aug 29 2006, 06:56 PM
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#17
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ghostrider Group: Retired Admins Posts: 4,196 Joined: 16-May 04 Member No.: 6,333 |
Good grief. Does anybody have tissues? Some cheese?
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Aug 29 2006, 06:59 PM
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#18
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Freelance Elf Group: Dumpshocked Posts: 7,324 Joined: 30-September 04 From: Texas Member No.: 6,714 |
I don't particularly care about the little dog or the skater-punk, it just sounds to me like he could use an ass whupping on principle, that's all.
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Aug 29 2006, 07:46 PM
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#19
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 560 Joined: 21-December 04 Member No.: 6,893 |
I'm a wrestler. A god-awful wrestler, but I can wrestle. (I made J-V back in the day.) Most football players (NOT the highly metrosexualized and bizzare sport of Footy, but American "chuck-the-bit-of-leather" football.) are convinced that they're tougher than wrestlers. They smash and bash each other, and are at more kegstands, so they're obviously beefier, right? Wrong. Actually, a guy on our team weighing in at a whopping 140lbs. could take down most quarterbacks, providing neither were running. I've seen him take down a guy weighing TWICE what he did in seconds. No fancy judo was involved, just good old-fashioned grappling. If anyone ever says that "there's no way a person could attack three times as fast as another person", I'd like to show 'em a video. I'd be willing to bet that he could take down three armored bodybuilders before they could successfully throw a punch.
I wish I could introduce him to "Big Elmer". 310lbs, at least 2/3 of which is muscle. |
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Aug 29 2006, 09:00 PM
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#20
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 633 Joined: 30-May 06 From: Leesburg, Florida Member No.: 8,623 |
More like false imprisonment, reckless endangerment of a minor, most definately battery, but not likely kidnapping...that'd be pushing it. While I do not condone such actions, I believe Churchhill stated "All that is required for evil to prevail, is for good men to do nothing." |
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Aug 29 2006, 09:40 PM
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#21
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Running Target Group: Members Posts: 1,213 Joined: 10-March 02 From: Back from the abyss. Member No.: 2,316 |
I have had my fare share, dont worry Critias. My own brother broke a wooden baseball bat across the back of my skull. I have been stabbed several times, a couple times by my best friend while we were knife fighting in his kitchen. I cant count how many times I have been in fights and most times I am out numbered. I have won all but two, they were stopped before the end could be decided. Ill admit when they were stopped I wasnt exactlly winning. I have been shot at quiet a few times as well, luckily without result. And Spas, big elmer would be nothing I havent fought before. I fought a guy 7' 1" and about 450 pounds in a pool hall before, I knew that because he was a friend of a friend that wanted to beat up my friend for hitting on his girlfriend. Getting my ass kicked doesnt scare me, being shot doesnt scare me, being stabbed or set of fire doesnt scare me. Big Elmer might get me because I smoke, but thats if I dont break his arms off first then piss on his face. :) Its kind of funny how you describe how a wrestler can beat 3 large football players, then try to impress me with big elmer. :) Just a little history. My father is a martial arts instructor and I have been taking martial arts since I could stand on my own two feet. I say martial arts instead of a particular style because I have practiced a few. Mostly Karate and kung fu. But I have also done tae Kwon do, Akido, I tried muay thai and plan K1 style kick boxing, christ I dont feel like naming them all. Oh I wrestled in school as well. :) I dont need anger managment either, I was completely calm when doing both actions. In fact I dont really get mad at all anytime. Getting mad only clouds your judgement, then you make mistakes. LOL I dont even know why Im defending myself anyway. Oh well I guess because Im bored and its too hot to go out and do anything right now. Besides, if your hands were full and some damn dog was drawing blood biting your legs you arent going to kick it? I just didnt realize how small the dog was and how hard I kicked it. I wasnt aiming for a feildgoal it just happened. But yeah I punched it hard and strangled it because the punch seemed to have hurt it bad. LOL |
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Sep 1 2006, 09:59 PM
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#22
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Target Group: Members Posts: 51 Joined: 9-August 06 Member No.: 9,063 |
I like you Frag-o Delux, you're funny. I can't tell if you're full of shit or not, but you tell a fine story. And that dog totally deserved an kicking. God I hate dogs. Especially dogs that think they're Alpha instead of Omega. God I hate dogs... I'm just gonna be over here wallowing in hate. :evil:
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Sep 1 2006, 10:02 PM
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#23
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ghostrider Group: Retired Admins Posts: 4,196 Joined: 16-May 04 Member No.: 6,333 |
IM GONNA THREATEN SOMEBODY FOR BEING DIFFERENT THAN ME>>>>AND I"M GOING TO TRY (AND FAIL) AT DOING IT IN AN OBTUSE MANNER!!!111oneonelolzers
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Sep 2 2006, 01:16 AM
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#24
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 398 Joined: 25-August 04 From: Denver, CO Member No.: 6,599 |
i'm all about the first 2 posts in this thread...
we had a player who said that his character was going to try and get his hands in front of himself after they were duct-taped behind his back - tops of his wrists together. and when he didn't like the TN that our GM laid on him he complained so we duct-taped him the same way and told him that if he could do it then his character could, no rolling necessary. and he did it alright - it was pretty funny to watch - took about 5 minutes. |
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Sep 2 2006, 01:34 AM
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#25
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ghostrider Group: Retired Admins Posts: 4,196 Joined: 16-May 04 Member No.: 6,333 |
Duct tape is good stuff. Want to tie someone's hands though? Cable ties. Mmmm...
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