 Laughs in the Shadows, Jokes with a Shadowrun twist |
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 Nov 28 2003, 08:56 AM
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#101
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Neophyte Runner  Group: Members Posts: 2,222 Joined: 11-October 02 From: Netherlands and Belgium Member No.: 3,437  |
Ok... ok... ok... I got one.....
Crazy dumpshocker adds a post to flip this thread over to page 2 because 99 posts on one page is too damn long and he's too lazy to change it back. :P Sphynx |
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Nov 28 2003, 05:14 PM
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#102
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 611 Joined: 21-October 03 From: Yorkshire Toxic Zone Member No.: 5,752 |
I'm so stupid, I know, but I'm having a total brain fart:
huh? Anyway. What do you get when you recycle a chinese mage? REjen! ...As oppose to WUjen...? ...Oh never mind. I'll get my coat. |
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Nov 29 2003, 02:14 AM
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#103
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 973 Joined: 3-October 03 Member No.: 5,677 |
:dead: *dies of terrible pun* |
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Nov 29 2003, 02:29 AM
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#104
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 117 Joined: 26-February 02 Member No.: 654 |
That sounds rather ENT-ertaining. |
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Nov 29 2003, 02:31 AM
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#105
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Dragon Group: Members Posts: 4,065 Joined: 16-January 03 From: Fayetteville, NC Member No.: 3,916 |
*sigh* Can't just leaf it alone, can you? -Siege |
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Nov 29 2003, 08:17 AM
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#106
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Running Target Group: Members Posts: 1,451 Joined: 21-April 03 From: Austin, TX Member No.: 4,488 |
*pulls out the Vindicator* Okay, next one who posts a pun gets to meet my little friend here. And remember, gun's don't kill people. The 10,000 belted APDS rounds do the killing. The gun just makes them move REALLY fast.
The Abstruse One |
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Nov 29 2003, 01:31 PM
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#107
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Dragon Group: Members Posts: 4,065 Joined: 16-January 03 From: Fayetteville, NC Member No.: 3,916 |
You're really scraping the bottom of the barrels with that Vindicator.
-Siege |
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Nov 29 2003, 01:36 PM
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#108
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 262 Joined: 26-February 02 From: A wreched hive of scum and villany. Member No.: 1,479 |
Would you like some insult with that injury you lazy fat bastard?
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Dec 1 2003, 04:31 AM
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#109
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 280 Joined: 21-April 03 From: Singapore Member No.: 4,487 |
Gawd, you guys are so corny and wheaty, it's a-maize-ing I can barley stand it!
... ahem ... *runs for cover* .... |
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Dec 1 2003, 04:42 AM
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#110
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 280 Joined: 21-April 03 From: Singapore Member No.: 4,487 |
A blond shadowrunner was staring dumbfounded at a rushing river blocking her path. As she wondered how to cross, she saw another blond runner on the other side.
She yelled, "Hey, can you help me get to the other side?" The other blond replied, "You ARE on the other side!!!!" |
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 Dec 3 2003, 12:15 AM
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#111
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The Sewer Jockey Group: Dumpshocked Posts: 857 Joined: 26-February 02 From: Kent, United Kingdom Member No.: 1,197 |
Two Cockatrices were in a holding pen at the corp facility...
Cockatrice 1: Squaaaarrrrrrk! Cockatrice 2: You swine... I was going to say that... Cockatrice 1: Jesus Christ, a talking Cockatrice! |
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Jan 20 2004, 05:23 PM
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#112
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Shooting Target Group: Members Posts: 1,677 Joined: 5-June 03 Member No.: 4,689 |
A fixer, a shadowrunner, and a Johnson wind up together at the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter informs them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.
First, St. Peter asks the shadowrunner, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg?" Quickly slotting his "Ancient History" chip, the shadowrunner answers "The Titanic", and is allowed to enter. Then St. Peter asks the fixer: "How many people died on the ship?" But the fixer had fortunately just upgraded her entertainment system with the percentages from the previous run she'd set up, and one of her new acquisitions was the simsense translation of the classic film (starring Honey Brighton). "1,228", she answers, and is allowed to enter. And then St. Peter turns to the Johnson: "Name them." |
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Jan 20 2004, 07:13 PM
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#113
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 611 Joined: 21-October 03 From: Yorkshire Toxic Zone Member No.: 5,752 |
Seen posted on ragged and torn paper on a stuffer shack window in Redmond:
"Live fast, die young. Leave a beautiful corpse. Support your local Shedim sect. 666 Chapel Boulevard, Redmond" It stayed there for a week. The stuffer shack security guard saw a few people pass by and some read it. He could see in their faces that they thought to themselves: 'frag THAT!' and resolved to just go about their day. A week later, the guard came to work to find it had been replaced with another: "Want to feel the oneness of being? Come to our weekly meetings, mondays, chaired by Her Majesty Xckzxxzk, and join the hive. The Nest, 156th and 3rd, Redmond" It stayed there two weeks, more people read it, most thinking 'frag THAT', but a few saying to themselves 'hey, cool name. Didn't she put a musichip out last year? Maybe its a secret gig!' and going to the meetings, never to be heard from again. The guard caught wind of their disappearances from the scuttle on the street, and thought to himself resignedly that it was a shame, but sometimes people are dumb like that, right? The guard came in to work one morning to find a throng of people three deep around the window. Some were even buying burgers! They were obviously checking out a new poster. as he watched he saw several break out of the group from the middle, and run off down the street towards a large building a few doors down, literally clawing each other out the way in their haste. It looked like someone had put up a corporate logo over one of the doors but he couldn't see what it was. His ancient first edition cybereyes were on the fritz again as far as zoom went, so he shrugged and pushed his way into the crowd, aiming for the door. But somehow he ended up in front of the poster, just as two more people dashed off in the same direction as the others. 'What the drek is going on here, term?' he demanded of one smelly looking chiphead. The girl looked at him with wide eyes. 'They're paying five grand for cast members in a new show! I'm gonna be on the trid!' She babbled, before squirming out of his grip and running off up the street. The guard, his interest piqued, turned around again and had a look at the poster. He had to admit it was a tempting offer: "EARN FIVE GRAND IN ONLY ONE HOUR! IN REAL MONEY! Apply at MediaCorp HQ, Redmond, just three doors from this poster! Players wanted for LIFETIME SNUFF contract!" Thanking his stars he wasn't a sap like this bunch, he turned and tried once again to zoom in on the corp logo, wondering whether or not to report them to the 'Star. His damn eyes STILL wouldn't focus. 'Ah what the hell', he said. 'Five grand is a full replacement. And who doesn't wanna be on the trid...?' |
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Jan 21 2004, 01:53 AM
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#114
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 565 Joined: 7-January 04 Member No.: 5,965 |
some mages are in a bar, discussing the afterlife. using the asumption that your soul is visible on the astral, the question arises if the street sam will end up at the pearly gates with parts missing (as opposed to in a neat little pile on the ground next to him).
a day later, a run gone bad sends one of those mages to the afterlife. He walks up the red shag carpet to talk to saint peter. "im sorry, youll have to wait your turn" peter says to the mage. The mage looks around, but dosent see anyone else, so asks what the holdup is. "well, it would help if you wernt standing on the cyberzombie. " |
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Jan 23 2004, 12:51 AM
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#115
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Shooting Target Group: Members Posts: 1,677 Joined: 5-June 03 Member No.: 4,689 |
On the list of things you really don't want to think about too much (and truth being stranger than fiction):
DocWagon paramedic team parked outside the local McHugh's. Way to cut out the commuting time. |
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Jan 26 2004, 06:10 PM
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#116
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Shooting Target Group: Members Posts: 1,965 Joined: 26-February 02 From: Edinburgh, Scotland Member No.: 2,032 |
Two Artificial Intelligence students are playing Shadowrun.
Student 1: "What would happen if I tried to program my watcher spirit in Prolog?" Student 2: "No." |
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Jan 27 2004, 12:25 AM
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#117
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 102 Joined: 26-February 02 From: harrisburg metroplex, pa Member No.: 623 |
dr. pain pissed off my kid sister one day and she was trying to chase him down. i told her to give it up because she only has running multiplier 2.
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Jan 30 2004, 11:11 PM
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#118
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 402 Joined: 23-April 03 From: London, UK Member No.: 4,491 |
What date was the tree-violated munchkin on?
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Jan 30 2004, 11:39 PM
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#119
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Target Group: Members Posts: 84 Joined: 15-April 03 From: My own personal purgatory Member No.: 4,453 |
The joke first shows up in the storyline that starts at around http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp04292002.shtml (If you continue a little past the end of that storyline, you can even get D20 stats for said tree...) And the joke returns - during a Shadowrun LARP - in the storyline starting around http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp01132003.shtml |
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Jan 31 2004, 06:39 PM
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#120
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 402 Joined: 23-April 03 From: London, UK Member No.: 4,491 |
Now THAT is ENT-ERTAINMENT! :rotfl:
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Jan 31 2004, 07:21 PM
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#121
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 749 Joined: 22-June 02 From: Parts Without Member No.: 2,897 |
"Captain, we're locked in some sort of temporal loop."
"I know, Spock. It's like I've lived through these postings before." It must be late in the season when one gets DSF reruns. :-) |
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Feb 15 2004, 11:40 AM
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#122
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 402 Joined: 23-April 03 From: London, UK Member No.: 4,491 |
What do you call a canister sealed by a mage?
Hermetically Sealed! :D |
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Feb 15 2004, 12:24 PM
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#123
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 287 Joined: 28-March 03 From: In the middle of the SOX Member No.: 4,350 |
That's actually not a joke, but the origin of the term "hermetically sealed".
One of the powers of the god Hermes Trismegistos, from whom the Hermetic Tradition draws its name, was precisely to create a perfect seal, which was not possibly during the Middle Ages by technical means. |
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Feb 15 2004, 06:04 PM
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#124
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The Sewer Jockey Group: Dumpshocked Posts: 857 Joined: 26-February 02 From: Kent, United Kingdom Member No.: 1,197 |
TRAITOR TO THE COMEDIC ARTS!!!
Take thine inescapable truths from this place to a place of sensibility - not wackiness! |
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Feb 15 2004, 08:13 PM
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#125
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 402 Joined: 23-April 03 From: London, UK Member No.: 4,491 |
Just be glad that Trace and Burn doesn't exist yet...
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Lo-Fi Version | Time is now: 27th February 2025 - 12:35 AM |
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