SR Quotes, It's that time again... |
SR Quotes, It's that time again... |
Nov 22 2006, 08:25 PM
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#1
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Running Target Group: Members Posts: 1,070 Joined: 7-February 04 From: NYC Member No.: 6,058 |
... to post whatever amusing manifestations of psychosis have come up in your games. Let me get started:
We're infilitrating an office tower in Bug City: Shadowcat: *sniff, sniff* "Dead humans ahead, probably dead too long to be of any use." Blake: "If I see you checking if dead people are still edible, again..." Alex: (to Blake on a private channel) "Why can't we ever have normal teammates, like that guy with the legs named after him?" |
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Nov 23 2006, 02:36 AM
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#2
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 204 Joined: 27-October 05 From: Waterloo, ON Member No.: 7,900 |
"No, I stab the movement tentacles, not the ones attacking Vincent."
- One of my teammates. Me: "When can I lead the mission?" The *entire* Team: "When you stop being a frag up!" "You ever killed someone for money before?" "Well, not for *money*" |
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Nov 23 2006, 03:05 AM
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#3
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Runner Group: Members Posts: 2,526 Joined: 9-April 06 From: McGuire AFB, NJ Member No.: 8,445 |
Me, dwarf sam, and my team are driving away from a research facility with a pile of dead guards we plan to rape for their cyber, a research subject and two doctors that were on the project of said subject. One of the guards isnt quite dead in the back and one of the doctors says, "He's not dead, we can still save him."
The two other team mates that were in the back with me groan and I quickly pull out my Ares Pred and unload my clip into the now dead guard. "Ok, save him now." |
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Nov 23 2006, 01:57 PM
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#4
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 219 Joined: 26-April 02 From: Emerald City, Oz Member No.: 2,648 |
"My God, you killed them with your erection!"
A quote from our teams phys ad immediately following the incident wherein Jack Flash, a sam, hurled himself groin first at a fully crewed APC while stark naked and neutralised half the blighters with an Intimidation check. (Which allowed the rest of us to kill the crew and capture the APC intact.) |
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Nov 23 2006, 03:07 PM
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#5
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 906 Joined: 16-October 06 Member No.: 9,630 |
6 go-gangers and their leader with knives and chains shround me and the dwarf. Our technomancer friend was unconcious but stable after some vicious cybercombat.
As they close in I turn to the dwarf and say. "Six againts two thats not very fair to them now is it." "Unless you want my monofilament whip shoved up your ass I advise your surrender right now" Lightning Jack:, "Before you have us killed tell me did it hurt?" Gang Leader: "Did what hurt?" Fires machine pistol, burst fire, EXEX, -8 penalty for ignoring the armor jacket. "That!" |
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Nov 23 2006, 08:50 PM
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#6
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Target Group: Members Posts: 72 Joined: 26-February 02 From: Oak Ridge, TN, CAS Member No.: 407 |
"Daisy Eater ISN'T an elf?!" - Nick, dwarven rigger, upon discovering that the PC that he'd been calling "Daisy Eater" for the past twelve sessions is actually a human with a good Charisma score.
Amy (Physad): (Mutters) "Actually, I forgot to look..." Nick: "What?!" Amy: "I said that b!%ch at Waffle House can't f@#$ing cook!" - Amy's response when asked about the security at the building she was doing recon work at. EDIT: Oh, by the way, Due to the results of the session I GM'ed on tuesday, November 22nd is now known as "FISH day". |
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Nov 24 2006, 01:24 AM
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#7
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Immortal Elf Group: Members Posts: 11,410 Joined: 1-October 03 From: Pittsburgh Member No.: 5,670 |
(in Russian) "Fuck your mother!"
"In Soviet Russia, my mother fucks you!" |
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Nov 24 2006, 01:47 AM
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#8
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Dragon Group: Members Posts: 4,718 Joined: 14-September 02 Member No.: 3,263 |
"Buddy comes out of the store and looks at me funny, so I shoot him. *shrug*" - the guy that aways plays characters that shoots lots of people
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Nov 24 2006, 01:54 AM
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#9
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MechRigger Delux Group: Retired Admins Posts: 1,151 Joined: 26-February 02 From: Hanger 18, WPAFB Member No.: 1,657 |
Our most psycotic Sam ever...
We had just faced of with some barghasts, which had paralyzed him, when we got to the handler's room he proceeded to barge in and put 2 bullets in his knees and dropped him, followed immediately by him running up, grabbing his hair and jamming the gun to his forhead... SAM: "You have a wife!?!?!!?!" Handler: "YES!! GOD YES!!!" Sam: "You have any Kids?" Handler: "no, I...." Sam: "Wrong answer"; pulls trigger.... |
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Nov 24 2006, 06:09 AM
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#10
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 101 Joined: 27-October 02 From: Chicago Containment Zone Member No.: 3,504 |
Oh God, I'm going to have to remember that for some of the runs I'm GMing >:) |
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Nov 24 2006, 06:47 AM
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#11
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Runner Group: Members Posts: 2,654 Joined: 29-October 06 Member No.: 9,731 |
That gets my vote for Best Quote Ever. :rotfl: |
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Nov 24 2006, 06:56 AM
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#12
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Shadowrun Setting Nerd Group: Banned Posts: 3,632 Joined: 28-June 05 From: Pissing on pedestrians from my electronic ivory tower. Member No.: 7,473 |
This is why I love SR's social skill rules so much.
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Nov 24 2006, 09:04 AM
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#13
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 475 Joined: 17-June 02 From: Concord University, Athens, WV Member No.: 2,880 |
Good thing my group's forums have a thread dedicated to random game quotes. First, the online-only group...
"If I'm not there, look for the depressed fire elemental." - Devin, Coyote Shaman "Hello Shin. Got an elemental in your corner, ya know." - Devin "Are you flammable? You can stay at my place, but only if you're flammable." - Ler, combat decker/sorcerer "Geniuses tend to be idiots? Are they oxymorons, too? Or do they just make bad puns?" - Devin "Oh my god, the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man attacks!" - Zem, decker "I got a new pet today. I'll feed him and walk him and inflict such incredible pain upon his mortal mind that he will never recover and name him George. Wait, he already has a name. Damnit. That's worth at least another decade of torture if I can't name him George! You people take all the fun out of this." - Kejeri, self-proclaimed Incarnation of Chaos and possible horror, exists to torment and terrify several group members "Shut up, random voice number forty-seven." - Gwynfi, vampire converted from a VtM Malkavain "No, but I have this chainsaw who needs fresh blood... no, I didn't say that, what are you implying?! I'm not crazy, it's just that Mr Happy Flesheater has special needs like love and caring and the blood of the innocent..." - Ler "Mostly by being a retard." - Ler Ler: "You mean it looks like... your face!" Zem: "That doesn't even make any sense." Ler: "Your face doesn't make any sense!" "Those who fail to see our funny will face the wrath of a five-year-old asian child." - Zem "Lovely like the time I cast Detect Sexual Orientation on Lofwyr and found out dark secrets that I am hunted for to this very day?!" - Ler Next bunch, the face-to-face game. Petrio is an adept, Goliath is a troll street sam, Boris is a rigger, Leon is a shaman, Rookwood is a path of the mage adept, Epoc is a neo-wannabe adept, and Cap is an adept. It's not a huge group, we just have scheduling problems so we rarely have more than 3-4 players. (as sniper fire is crashing through the windows of Petrio's house, he's on the phone with Goliath) Petrio: (phone) "Goliath, what the f**k you doin to my house now?!" Goliath: (phone) "What- why you think I'm doing something?!" Petrio: (phone) "You destroyed it the last time!" Goliath: ... (hangs up) (after the house caught on fire) DM: "So, the books all caught on fire." Petrio: "Eh, they all sucked anyway." Boris: "Fire doesn't really hurt if you're fast." Petrio: "Yes it does!" DM: "You many enemies do you think Petrio has?" Petrio: (OOC) "Uh... the entire city of Chicago..." Boris: (OOC) "Hunted, General Public." Boris: (OOC) "That was back when my character was rooming with Petrio..." Petrio: (OOC) "Dude, you weren't rooming with me! You broke into my house and wouldn't leave!" I think I've quoted that one on here three times now... Petrio: "That was the most hardcore thing ever. Hardcore like punching a dragon in the fire gland so that it's head explodes." (Leon - Conjuring, Charisma, & Magic all 6's - vs force 3 watcher) DM: "You (Leon, astrally percieving) see what looks like an eye with hands float by Epoc, then head towards the mage." Leon: "I try to banish it" (rolls 1-2-4-5-5-6) DM: (rolls for the watchers chance to resist, rolls 7-8-11) "...The watcher's form shimmers for a moment, then it panics and bolts for the mage." Leon: "...I'm going to go cry in a corner now..." (The J is trying to get us to sign a contract. Leon does, Cap declines.) Rookwood: Is there any drawback to not signing the contract? Mr J: Oh, no, it just helps with the bookkeeping. Rookwood: Good, just making sure. But either way, I prefer to deal in things a little more... binding, than contracts. Leon, hold out your hand. Leon: No! You're going to kill me or something! Rookwood: I'm not going to kill you. That would be entirely counterproductive. Leon: I don't trust you. Rookwood: Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me? Leon: ...probably. Cap: Oh, just give 'em yer hand so we can be on with it. Leon: Fine! (holds out his hand) Rookwood: (very quickly slashes a knife across Leon's fingers, then turns and draws a line across a contract with the blood) Like I said. Leon: You stabbed me! Rookwood: No I didn't. A stab would be a forward, thrusting motion. That was clearly a slashing motion. (wipes the blade off with a small cloth, puts both away) Leon: But... God damnit, I hate you people. (walks back to the car) Mr J: (writes "Leon, DNA sample" on the paper and slides it into a plastic bag) Leon: (OOC) Aw, damnit! Now someone has my blood! Rookwood: (OOC) Two people. Leon: (OOC) Wha? Rookwood: (OOC) Remember I pocketed the cloth I wiped the blood off on? Leon: (OOC) ...I hate you so much. |
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Nov 24 2006, 03:30 PM
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#14
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Running Target Group: Members Posts: 1,333 Joined: 19-August 06 From: Austin Member No.: 9,168 |
That so sounds like my group..... I really need to start writing some of our quotes down. These are paraphrased from memory, but they capture the essence of the scene. ;) Yun, Asian Ork, parking her new Westwind Sedan in the Ork Barrens. "We not go far - this new car. This bad neighborhood. Orks steal." T'osh, Ork Street Doc, who glitched so badly on a negotiation roll that the NPC decker who she was trying to hire ended up moving in to her doss. "Hey! He's really persuasive!" Stuffer Shack, Elven Ninja Adept, who has a real name, but no one cares to remember, "He's an annoying smelly dwarf! His name is Deadmeat!" T'osh "I'll do better next time." T'Osh's player to Beatdown, Troll Physad's player (me): "So, were you going to tell me you had Spirit Bane (Air) before or after I summoned the Force 6 air spirit?" (Answer: After. Because it's funnier that way). Yurgen (Ork mage)'s player, referring to Beatdown (Who has a Cha of 1 and a personality which combines Andrew Dice Clay and the Two Wild and Crazy Guys): "I was seriously considering spending the Karma to learn Silence, just so I could cast it on Beatdown when needed." Stuffer Shack Ninja, after learning that his Physad abilities do not function in this null-magic zone: "Uh oh. I can...um...still kick him, right?" GM: "Yes, you can still kick the 8' troll" Stuffer Shack Ninja: "Uh, I guess I do that." (Note: It didn't help). GM, playing a poncy go Ganger: "We're the RAY-zors. We're Hard Core! (throws a pseudo-gang sign that makes the entire group laugh.) We love you, Stuffer Shack Ninja! Will you wear our helmet? We carved our logo on the side, so everyone can see that you're a RAY-zor, and it'll be coooooool." |
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Nov 25 2006, 07:07 PM
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#15
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 775 Joined: 31-March 05 From: florida Member No.: 7,273 |
characters: SR3 game
Wolfgar-the orriginal weapons specialist physical adept elf with no charisma whatsoever Clank-troll to orc sized human street sam with the flaw Liar small charisma but so much game it hurts. Eddie-Human tech wiz and fixer with great charisma attribute. precurssor Situation: Wolfgar and Clank are pulling recon on an extraction in the renraku arcology mall. Wolfgar is doing the majority of the work since Clank is being loud and obnoxious and has no sense of either propriety nor stealth. Fed up with Clank's shenanigans Wolfgar approaches a young aparently asian woman and hands her 200 nuyen and asks her to keep his friend (clank) busy for a while. She agrees and pockets the money then proceeds to lead Clank off while Wolfgar continues the survelance. She takes Clank to the hotel portion of the arcology and they get a room on Clanks dime. Once in the room they strip and start to get busy and while in a particular position the woman all of a sudden shapeshifts into a wolf. This of course freaks Clank out who bolts out the door and down the hall using the back stairwell to make good his escape in nothing but the bedsheet. Using the cyber cell phone in his head he contacts eddie for a pick up since eddie is also the team's usual driver, Eddie of course requires a full explination of why Clank needs a pickup and once the story is told eddie agrees to come and pick clank up. Of course once clank stepped into the modified Roadmaster that was the team's signature van eddie had to make the following comment. (Eddie) "Clank everyone knew it would happen eventually, but jesus did you have to get so literal with it." (Clank) "What do you mean?" (Eddie) "Well we all knew sooner or later you'd end up with a dog." |
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Nov 25 2006, 08:20 PM
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#16
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 475 Joined: 17-June 02 From: Concord University, Athens, WV Member No.: 2,880 |
And I found more. I've probably only dug through half the threads we have on this...
"Mages are definetly all werdios, especially wierd ones." - Dot, decker "We all thought we were confused before, then those two start talking." - Dot "Maybe cause that's the guy who turned you into a woman?" - Lusypher (forget who that was...) "See, that's why you don't give idiots smartframes. They use them for that sort of crap." - Zem "What an amusing collection of mental disorders personified I have here to observe." - Kejeri "You're all idiots. You know this, right?" - Sahandrian, decker/face "No, I've been to one hell already, and have no intention of visiting another." - Devin, upon being asked to join an arcology run "I was staring at a lava lamp out of boredom at that point." - Gwynfi "I should put cleaning up other runner's mistakes on my resume." - Drake "There. It's settled. NO MORE ARGUING, KIDS!" - Gwynfi Mr J: "You're surprisingly accepting for a runner. Most I've seen go through a lot of trouble to figure out who's hiring them, why, and for how much..." Phaeton: "...Who are you, come to think of it? Do I know you? ...Or DID I know you? And what's the pay, and why do you want this done?" Mr J: "...you didn't think of any of those questions until I brought it up, did you?" Phaeton: "...Maybe." "Yo, Joey's Pizza. If you don't like it, too bad. You don't get your money back." - Shinji, vampire-hunter adept, answering the phone "AHHHHHH! GHOSTS! ...Wait... Just my phone." - Shinji "Right, then you misfire and we all die faster." - Sahandrian "It is not polite to drive already near psychotic people into paranoia." - Ceres, cat shaman & SURGEd night one elf (yes, she's a catgirl) From a scene in the matrix, as it was posted on the forums (mostly)... Lazuli: Working on it... Damnit, the IC! Ler, where are you?! Ler: Calm down, I was just getting a drink... Ler: *** Attack-D14 Jaya: A rating 14 program?! Where the hell do you get that?! Ler: In a box of cracker jacks. Found a roleplay with Sahandrian, Devin, Gwynfi, and Ceres that was posted. "Is it him, me, or the other him? Oh, you mean HIM! Of course, how silly. You quit trying to kill me already. Now what were we talking about again?" - Devin "Tuna salad starts to look bad after sitting out about 13 hours ...it's some kinda yellow gelatin at this point." - Devin "I should really just become a masochist someday. We'd get along better." - Devin "Someday you're going to forgot to close the curtains when you go to sleep, and it'll be a sunny day." - Sahandrian, to Gwynfi "I'm just going to stop listening to you when you talk unless it seems relevant, Gwynfi." - Ceres "Did you know I had macaroni and cheese in here? ...cause I didn't." - Devin, interrupting a meet "So until someone shows up who's knowledge of psychology is not limited to breaking through the mental barriers of other people, I will be off playing in traffic." - Devin "It wouldn't matter anyway. I'm supposed to be dead, after all." - Devin "You love being annoying and cryptic, don't you?" - Sahandrian, to Devin "The way things are going, I'm rapidly approaching my fourth death. Those get annoying, you know." - Devin "You sound like a Lewis Carroll character. I'd suggest you go through the looking glass, but it is, of course, broken." - Devin, to Gwynfi Yue (chinese elf assassin): "You are a very confusing fellow at times, do you realize that?" Sahandrian: "Yes, that's why I do this sort of thing." "You two have the weirdest relationship I've ever seen, you know that?" - Mary, to San & Yue "You comment on where I worked and you're history, luv." - Ceres (a former prostitute) "Sure. Killing isn't any fun if it's a job." - Ceres (before she lightened up a lot) "Unless you want scars decorating your face I suggest you drop your attitude." - Ceres, to Phaeton Ceres: "Tell me why you're going to make me work with these two while you stay here again?" Sahandrian: "You need practice dealing with idiots?" |
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Nov 26 2006, 06:10 AM
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#17
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Manus Celer Dei Group: Dumpshocked Posts: 17,006 Joined: 30-December 02 From: Boston Member No.: 3,802 |
Poser. Everyone knows you get a D-14 program out of boxes of Cap'n Crunch. ~J |
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Nov 26 2006, 06:42 AM
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#18
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Shadowrun Setting Nerd Group: Banned Posts: 3,632 Joined: 28-June 05 From: Pissing on pedestrians from my electronic ivory tower. Member No.: 7,473 |
Showing your age, old man.
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Nov 26 2006, 09:07 PM
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#19
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Target Group: Members Posts: 96 Joined: 13-April 06 Member No.: 8,459 |
One of my players, after being threatened by hitmen: "You know you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar?"
My response which made absolutely no sense: "Well it depends on who's the honey, and who's the bee." :? |
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Nov 27 2006, 09:08 PM
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#20
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Uncle Fisty Group: Admin Posts: 13,891 Joined: 3-January 05 From: Next To Her Member No.: 6,928 |
Two from the other night:
One player had been rolling bums for clothes because he'd decied his primary means of transportation would be to change into a seagull. So when they got to the ship they were raiding, I asked what equipment he was bringing . he said his gun and armored jacket . I pointed out a lack of pants. His response: "If it gets to the point where I need my gun, wearing pants is gonna be the last thing I'm woing to be worried about." And a good one from our own OneTrickPony, trying to find ways to protect innocent lives, until he found out how expensive gamma-scopaline could be: "Well yeah, they're innocent, but it's 500 :nuyen:! They're not worth that much! " (Later of course, be cracks a guys skull with his titanium bone lacing and uses a 500 :nuyen: trauma patch on the guy to stabilze him) |
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Nov 27 2006, 11:05 PM
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#21
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 500 Joined: 4-September 06 From: Salt Lake UT Member No.: 9,299 |
Yah right.
While planning the run. Me IC, "I'm just saying I've had enough of killing civilians." Lucky IC, "that's why I said we'll use narcoject." Me OOC, "OK gamascopolomine's 50 nuyen... wait, THAT'S PER DOSE?! Later on the run. Me counting dice, "so I got 5 hits. That's 5 S(electric) for the shock glove and 12 um... physical? Can't I do stun damage? GM, "how do you do stun damage with aluminum bone lace" Me, "F**K! I check his pulse..." I'm shure that there used to be a way to pull punches. If I were better at this game I'd of lied about how many hits I got ;) [edit] actualy I was looking at narcogect. no one is worth the price of gammascopolomine[/edit] |
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Nov 27 2006, 11:16 PM
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#22
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Chrome to the Core Group: Dumpshocked Posts: 3,152 Joined: 14-October 03 From: ::1 Member No.: 5,715 |
I haven't seen any for SR4. |
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Nov 27 2006, 11:28 PM
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#23
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Uncle Fisty Group: Admin Posts: 13,891 Joined: 3-January 05 From: Next To Her Member No.: 6,928 |
Didn't help that you made a called shot for the back of the head from suprise either. ;) Logic 2 ork, it works. Just didn't think it through. :D |
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Nov 28 2006, 12:05 AM
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#24
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Shadowrun Setting Nerd Group: Banned Posts: 3,632 Joined: 28-June 05 From: Pissing on pedestrians from my electronic ivory tower. Member No.: 7,473 |
Oh, I bet he got stunned all right. Especially as the ork's fist was coming out of his face.
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Nov 28 2006, 12:41 AM
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#25
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Uncle Fisty Group: Admin Posts: 13,891 Joined: 3-January 05 From: Next To Her Member No.: 6,928 |
Last quote, as the ork was getting up after putting the patch un the unconcious and bleeding human, think of how frail he was :
"shoulda been born an ork" |
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