ZOMG lvl 1 D20 Call of Cthulu PCs lollollollol, Heh, movies suck Options

[Wounded Ronin]

Out here on the island of Pohnpei, there is one (1) movie theatre. Because it has a small budget it often manages to dredge up the cheapest and crappiest films to show and charge us for admission to see. Right now they're showing "The Hills Have Eyes 2" and I went to IMDB to learn more about the film so I could decide if it is worth seeing or not.

My quest lead me to this this image which made me realize that the characters in the movie must be level 1 Call of Cuthulu d20 characters: http://www.imdb.com/gallery/ss/0800069/Ss/...?hint=nm1888211

Notice how the character with the orange hair is holding the rifle incorrectly. Follow her eyes. Notice how she seems to be looking down at an angle over the top of the reflex sight instead of actually using it. Notice also how the stock isn't positioned against her shoulder but is rather held parallel to her body. Only a D20 CoC level 1 character would behave in this manner because it's the only thing which can explain how using an automatic weapon at close range on full auto against a Mythos monster the size of a house can manage to score a "hit" only 25% of the time or less. If you've ever wondered how a character can possibly miss in such a situation, now you know. Look away from the target, don't use your reflex sight, and for good measure take the trouble to hold the rifle blatantly incorrectly.

Furthermore, being both attractive model-looking females with conspicuously absent muscular development (they're supposed to be in the national guard) I have deduced that not only are they RPG player characters, but they're being played by pasty fat males with no social skills who positively salivate over being able to control the actions of some helpless model-looking female.

So, yeah, I guess I'll have to see this movie. Y'know, since it's a gaming movie and all.


(IMDB page for whole film: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0800069/ )

[fistandantilus4....]

Sometimes you worry me.

But this isn't one of those times. I think you're absolutely correct. I never realized how many actors were really 1st lv D20 CoC characters. My eyes have been opened.

Really could explain Imperial Storm Troopers too. But that might just be a product of their horrible armor in the WeG D6system.

[hyzmarca]

I suddenly imagine a bunch of guys sitting around a table discussing the long-term goals that they have for their CoC characters.

"I want to see things man was not meant to know and rip my eyes out before eating a bullet so I want have to know these things anymore", says one. "I want to delve too deep into ancient mystic lore in search of the power to save humanity from evil Mythos cults and start an evil Mythos cult myself, becoming the thing that I hate the most.", states another. And then the fat guy says, "I just want to get gangraped by mutant cannibals. Repeatedly."

[fistandantilus4....]

You forgot " sacrificed to ancient babylonian fish gods by fishmen cultists."

[Garrowolf]

I always thought that the fishermen cultists should be doing a booming business because they have the inside track from their fish god. Everyone else is poor and hungry but they are getting all the good fish. In exchange ....