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> CARNIVAL, New Shadowrun Adventure
knasser
post Apr 22 2007, 11:18 PM
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EDIT: If you are a player and your GM is going to, or might, run this adventure, please do NOT click on the link below.

On the Tacoma air - so often laced with heavy metals, the acid tang of refineries, assembly lines and the vapours of the sluggish Puget Sound - another scent had overlain itself. Cotton candy, crepes and toffees mingled with the industrial air, making it sweet and cancerous all at once. A wide lot, vacant yesterday and long ago bulldozed empty of anything but tarmac and the memory of jobs, was now filled with tents, trucks and temptations for children of all ages. The Carnival had come to Seattle, nestling itself in the city's empty spaces as it had once settled itself in farmers' fields, unheeding of Time. A few beefy trolls manhandled the poles of the last tent with ease and a dwarf, with grease paint forcing a permanent smile on his face, jammed fliers under the wipers of the cars crawling past in the slow rush hour traffic.

“Come to the carnival,” they said. “An experience you'll never forget.”



Direct link is here:
http://knasser.me.uk/content/shadowrun/carnival.pdf

Thanks,

-K.
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Meriss
post Apr 23 2007, 01:23 AM
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I'll say knasser (:eek: yikes!). I like the dark tone you built in the adventure, although I was thinking less Rocky Horror Show, more Moulan Rouge. But when in Seattle....
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jklst14
post Apr 23 2007, 01:30 AM
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Even though I'm not a big fan of immortal elves, I like it!
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BookWyrm
post Apr 23 2007, 01:58 AM
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Chilling. Even if you don't include Harlequin, it's a fascinating read.
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knasser
post Apr 23 2007, 05:35 AM
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Thank you. I tried very hard to make it creepy. I didn't mean for it to look like the Rocky Horror Show. I suppose that's because Rebus is androgynous, or maybe it's just the sheer mass of degraded characters.

As to Harlequin... you can remove him from the adventure without any visible effect if need be. I just have always had a more sinister take on the character than most, I think, and something like this was just too good an opportunity to miss. It would be one way to introduce the dark clown to the players without having to do the whole Harlequin-Horror metaplot. Just make sure he's not in the players faces until near the end.

Thunderball and Hotfoot were inspired by a thread here a while ago about the Elemental Effect adept power and I realised just how cool it actually was.

I was also trying for a real blend of cyberpunk and horror, making sure that plenty of 2070 tech was integrated into everything.

Anyway, it took me quite a long time to do, and I'd really appreciate comments and feedback from anyone who's read it. Criticisms and corrections are also useful (please be kind).

Thanks,

-K.

p.s. If anyone prints this out, I'd recommend skipping the first page!
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G.NOME
post Apr 23 2007, 07:01 AM
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It reads really well. I like that you mapped everything out but didn't make it a linear, cookie-cutter adventure like some of the adventure books are. It gives the GM a lot more opportunities to work this into their adventures.
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Kalvan
post Apr 23 2007, 12:27 PM
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If Hotfoot is Brazillian, replace Spanish as his native language with Portuguese.
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Meriss
post Apr 23 2007, 03:27 PM
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Correction: I was expecting less horror knasser, more funny elf in a panda costume.
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Kyoto Kid
post Apr 23 2007, 03:54 PM
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...from the responses it sounds pretty good. I'll have to open the link when I get home since my work PC is like molassess when you try to open a PDF.

Harlequin? That has me muy interested. The only IE I ever liked because he is so bloody freakin twisted.

[Note to my player group] If you haven't already, please do not open the above link.
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treehugger
post Apr 23 2007, 04:10 PM
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May i point out that if Layla is from Teheran, she really should be Persian, not arabic.
Culturaly, religiously and ethnicaly they are really different. (as much as a russian and a spanish i'd say)
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knasser
post Apr 23 2007, 05:50 PM
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QUOTE (treehugger @ Apr 23 2007, 04:10 PM)
May i point out that if Layla is from Teheran, she really should be Persian, not arabic.
Culturaly, religiously and ethnicaly they are really different. (as much as a russian and a spanish i'd say)


Whoops! Now that's ironic. :D I originally had the character as Egyptian and then realised last minute that I was missing a perfect opportunity to highlight one of the most overlooked tragedies in the Shadowrun timeline so I swapped things around a bit. Although Iran does have plenty to arabs living there.

@Kalvan: Thanks for the correction. I probably should have checked that instead of guessing.

I've fixed that and the howler and re-uploaded.

Thank you for all comments. Meriss - I can see now why it wasn't what you expected. As much as I adore the image of an elf in a panda suit (and I really do)... as you noticed, it isn't quite what I was going for. :D

Can I ask that if anyone runs this, they post back here to say how it went? It took me a long time to write it all up and it would be really interesting to compare notes.

-K.
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bibliophile20
post Apr 23 2007, 06:25 PM
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knasser, don't worry, you'll be hearing from me this summer when my campaign gets into swing.
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Unarmed
post Apr 23 2007, 07:54 PM
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I like it a lot. At first I was thinking that it would be like the Carivale HBO tv show, but overall I get much more of a deadlands crossed with shadowrun kinda vibe. I may have to run it with my group when it's my turn to GM again.
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Tashio
post Apr 23 2007, 08:45 PM
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Looks great, nice to have ideas and plot hooks without the railroading aspect alot of modules have. Also a change from the general run of the mill options you usualy see.

Typo:

Trid Illusions:

stick a PCs face on a corpse on a gibbet

Should be corpse of a gibbet


I'm only really familar with Harlequin from the original Harly module where his main weapon of choice was a rapier, though I guess his habits may have changed over the years + other modules. A long sword just seems very cluncky on him. The rapier being a weapon of finess and technique suits his image better in my opinion.
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knasser
post Apr 23 2007, 08:56 PM
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QUOTE (Tashio)
Looks great, nice to have ideas and plot hooks without the railroading aspect alot of modules have. Also a change from the general run of the mill options you usualy see.

Typo:

Trid Illusions:

stick a PCs face on a corpse on a gibbet

Should be corpse of a gibbet


I'm only really familar with Harlequin from the original Harly module where his main weapon of choice was a rapier, though I guess his habits may have changed over the years + other modules. A long sword just seems very cluncky on him. The rapier being a weapon of finess and technique suits his image better in my opinion.


Good points. The thing is twenty-five pages long, though. I'll therefore wait until more people have pointed out errors and try and make all the corrections in one pass. That way, I wont be uploading it endlessly and those that want all the corrections can just wait for me to post that I've updated it. So, by all means, people, add in any other mistakes here. Non-mistake related comments are welcome too, of course. ;)

-K.
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Meriss
post Apr 24 2007, 03:27 PM
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knasser one thing you may wish to add/edit in when you are editing is the fact that most fairs and carnivals have this weird frantic energy. Try going to one and you'll realize what I mean, it's like the whole place never sleeps. Now in your adventure it might be twisted or warped, or Rebus might be encouraging it to tire out potential victims, for himself or the others. Just a thought.
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knasser
post Apr 25 2007, 06:16 PM
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QUOTE (Meriss)
knasser one thing you may wish to add/edit in when you are editing is the fact that most fairs and carnivals have this weird frantic energy. Try going to one and you'll realize what I mean, it's like the whole place never sleeps. Now in your adventure it might be twisted or warped, or Rebus might be encouraging it to tire out potential victims, for himself or the others. Just a thought.


True. There should be something in the atmosphere section on the feel of the crowds. A bit more to add to that, then.

But I'll wait a bit longer before doing edits though. I was seriously hoping for some more feedback. I've had 112 downloads, 10 comments. Thoughe very much thank you to those who've posted comments and criticisms.

-K.
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ornot
post Apr 25 2007, 07:08 PM
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Just downloaded it and scanning through it.

Looks like a very nice setting although I've not really digested it

There are some inconsistincies in the text describing Rebus. A fair few "he" instead of "s/he" and "his" instead of "hir", which may or may not be intentional.
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Fezig
post Apr 26 2007, 04:23 AM
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On a semi-related note my group runs in a rotating GM fashion with all of us potentially GMs (though really only 3 of the 5 are likely to run a game), and one of the other GMs ran your other adventure (the name escapes me at the moment, the one about the ghouls.).

Anyhow, I just wanted to compliment you on the atmosphere embedded in the run as well as all the description and atmosphere you've invested in this one. I'm very interested in seeing if it also ends up being run at the group. All in all I'd say you make some very fun and well put together runs. Keep up the really good work.
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knasser
post Apr 26 2007, 05:43 PM
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QUOTE (Fezig @ Apr 26 2007, 04:23 AM)
On a semi-related note my group runs in a rotating GM fashion with all of us potentially GMs (though really only 3 of the 5 are likely to run a game), and one of the other GMs ran your other adventure (the name escapes me at the moment, the one about the ghouls.).

Anyhow, I just wanted to compliment you on the atmosphere embedded in the run as well as all the description and atmosphere you've invested in this one.  I'm very interested in seeing if it also ends up being run at the group.  All in all I'd say you make some very fun and well put together runs.  Keep up the really good work.


Thank you. That's the first time I've heard of anyone else actually running one of my games (It was called "Cold Blood"). I'd be interested in hearing how it went. It must make things a bit tricky if some of the players have read the adventure, but I hope it goes well if Carnival does get run at your group.

Anyway, thank you for the compliment.

@Ornot: I'll have a look back at the Rebus description. You wouldn't believe how fiddly it is catching all the hims and hers. I think I'll be avoiding any more hermaphrodite characters in future. ;)
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Dogsoup
post Apr 27 2007, 06:53 AM
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I like that you put out ambitious pdfs with artwork and layout, gives off a much more polished feel than just text on an empty html page. It also shows that one doesn't have to turn to D20 to find decent third-part productions. Thanks! :nuyen: :nuyen: :nuyen:
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knasser
post Apr 29 2007, 07:36 PM
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QUOTE (Dogsoup)
I like that you put out ambitious pdfs with artwork and layout, gives off a much more polished feel than just text on an empty html page. It also shows that one doesn't have to turn to D20 to find decent third-part productions. Thanks! :nuyen: :nuyen: :nuyen:


Thank you. That's very kind.

This is just to tell everyone who wants to know, that I've made all the corrections pointed out to me and have re-uploaded. Changes are: rogue him's in reference to Rebus, the addition of a "People" section to the Carnival Atmosphere section and turning Harlequin's longsword back to a rapier.

It remains "corpse on a gibbet" rather than "corpse of a gibbet," however, despite requests otherwise. ;)

And just to repeat, if anyone runs this, please post here and let me know how it went. It's the only thing that will ever encourage me to undertake such a mammoth writing up and laying out project for free again.

Thanks for all comments,

-K.
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fistandantilus4....
post May 5 2007, 05:18 PM
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Thread Ressurect

I loved the mixing tech holograms with illusion, and the mionr spirits flitting about all over the place.

I thought it was funny that I was thinking the only thing it was missing was a minor , wicked free spirit, then read over Layla's stats. Very cool. I'm honestly wishing the group that I ran through the Harlequin adventures wasn't so damn strong now, so that I could run them through this.

As to thoughts on the games contents:

I definitely think that the group needs to have a compelling reason to stay in that f-ed up place. I think searching for the kidnap victim, or smuggled goods is great. Partly because they can't just get weirded out and leave, but especially because it requires them to look around everywhere.

Including Harlequin is a nice touch too.There's really no one else that could fulfilll that role I think. Especially becuase he won't necessarily do anything.

The only thing I would like to see is a more detailed adventure for one of the two recommended paths. It seems like it would be an awesome game with a more thorough plot line. Working out the possible encounters in detail along a more typical adventure adventure format, sort of a Point A Point B, Point C, with a bunch of Point b1, B2,etcs for investigating different areas.

Basically I think it's a great idea and deserves to be developed more. I'd love to play it if you ran it, just to see it all rolled out.
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knasser
post May 5 2007, 05:33 PM
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Thanks for the feedback. Always appreciated. I haven't actually run this for a group yet, so if you fancy dropping by the UK, you'd be welcome to sit in when I do. ;)

I agree with the under-developed adventure side of things. The truth is that having written 20+ pages I starting to flag. And something like this is best tailored to a specific group. It would be very easy to have a loved one go missing and the clues lead to the carnival, for example. Of course, it wouldn't be certain. Just a clue that someone in there might have had something to do with it. For horror, I'm a big believer in concealing the scale of the threat. That allows for a nice shock when you pull back and show the players what is all around them.

Regarding your group's strength, they must be fairly strong. One of the things that I realised when I put this together is how underated the geomancy power is. The Carnival as written has a background count of 4 and that's going to make a hefty difference to magicians and adepts. As the whole thing takes place in a big crowded area with tonnes of people, the samurai types aren't going to be able to take in anything less concealable than a pistol (cyberweapons not withstanding) and the magical nature of the opposition is going to put them at a disadvantage. But if the group really are too strong, it could probably be a one-shot adventure for a Halloween game.

I really enjoyed writing the adventure. What I'd really like to do would be to write some adventure modules for FanPro / IMR, but the impression I got was that they're not interested in adventures. It's a shame because if it was paid work, I'd be able to take the time to do something a lot more comprehensive and filled out. Not little old things like this. ;)
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Ravor
post May 5 2007, 05:45 PM
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knasser, all-in-all I like it and plan on using it in some form minus Harlequin once I get back to DMing after my wife's campaign is over.

However, once thing that I've wondered, the two Adepts don't seem to be aspected towards Black Magic, and although I haven't ran the numbers on their powers yet, wouldn't they also lose 4 points of Magic as well?
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