SR versus the New Kids On The Block, Provoked by Talia's thread Options

[Wounded Ronin]

http://forums.dumpshock.com/index.php?showtopic=18070

In this thread, Talia is asking for adventures which start after the party blacks out. What actually comes immediately to mind is Curse of the Azure Bonds, but that's obviously D&D and thus (probably) not a good recommendation.

However, yesterday afternoon, a miraculous event happened which gave me divine insight into how best resolve Talia's request. Of all of the random relics of the past (read: undisposed garbage) found in my workplace, one item just appeared on a shelf and sat there as if waiting for me. A New Kids On The Block tape.

I recalled New Kids On The Block being spoken about around when I was in 4th grade but at the time I had never head it. Overcome with curiosity, drawn to it by an almost Lovecraftian compulsion, I borrowed a tape recorder and hit play.

What I heard was absolutely wretched. It wasn't so much the generic-sounding electronic music playing in the background which I accept as a product of its time. It was that the vocalists, all of them, were terrible. Their voices were flat and weak even though they were presumably being studio-boosted. Looking at the cover art on the tape I saw that the singers all looked pretty young, too, as in they were ready to hit puberty and have the quality of their voices change.

I wondered about what kind of ridiculous corporate planning decided NKOTB would be a worthwhile investment. There were a lot of them, which means more salaries. Their voices were completely terrible and I'm sure that it's not like the company had no choice but to hire the worst vocalists they could find. Furthermore, their age and impending puberty would probably completely mess up the sound of their music in a year or two. The value of NKOTB as a corporate investment would plummet as soon as enough singers hit puberty.

A friend of mine who is older than me put forth the idea that NKOTB was the prototypical boy band, a first effort to crack the demographic of young insecure pubescent or prepubescent females. Even though many things were done wrong with the effort NKOTB was in fact the forerunner of more commercially successful boy bands such as the Backstreet Boys.

This is what lead me to my idea for a SR adventure.


Let's say that you're the GM and you're giving your players a challenging SR adventure. The players drop the ball and the party is either all TPKed or all knocked out. They could wake up in the presence of Rad The Preserver from 1st edition D&D, which is already awesome because you're putting 1st edition D&D into your game and 1st edition D&D makes everything better. Rad the Preserver tells them that in 1000 years after their deaths boy band music in fact UNMAKES the universe and forever destroys sentient consciousness throughout the universe. Nothing may be preserved and all the future is forever lost.

The 1st edition immortal sends the player characters back into time in order to kill the NKOTB and all of the corporate executives responsible for advocating the Boy Band genre. So you transition into 80s-run for a while and the PCs reappear back "home" after successful completion of their mission. They have been given a second chance for saving the universe!

I recommend transitioning into this with the utmost contained creative luminance. The players will no doubt be feeling somewhat frustrated or foolish after getting TPKed and are no doubt getting ready to make new characters. I suggest that the GM says, "As the blood reaching your brain is insufficient to maintain consciousness you feel yourself falling faster and faster back into a whiteness. Already there's no more pain and your lost and floating mind no longer hears from your body."

Pause as people reach for new character sheets.

Then, clap a tape recorder onto the table which has the level 1 background music from the Genesis game Altered Beast on it and begin to play it. Say in your Altered Beast intro voice, "RISE FROM YOUR GRAVE"! Make noises that sound like thunder.

Then, as the Altered Beast level 1 music plays in the background describe the encounter with the 1st edition D&D immortal (roll on the Rules Cyclopedia table for effects such as paralyzed for X rounds with shock) and how their mission is described.

And then send them back in time.

[Kagetenshi]

WR, will you marry me?

~J

[Backgammon]

Needs more wailing guitars and phone booths. Aside from that, awesome mission.

[hyzmarca]

I agree, this is the single most awesome adventure ever.

[fistandantilus4....]

[Omar the Falcon]

Wow...

Now, would you have them go back in time 'as is' or force them to adapt to life in the 80's (as in, give them their whole body back, minus cyber or magic)?

Altered Beast... now there was a game....

[fistandantilus4....]

"only living material" ala Terminator I hope. :cyber:

Magic though, well it would still exist I would think, but the mana level wouldn't be up to the level where it would be useable. Wonder if the ork character would be human? Hmmm....

Still ,even without magic, I don't think killing the NKOTB would be so hard for a group of hardened runners.

[Talia Invierno]

And here I was, settling for just a variant on Groundhog Day (the film).

Don't you know that NKOTB has the critter powers of Regeneration and Natural Weapon (Noxious Sound)?

[Lazarus]

Dude you had me at Curse of the Azure Bonds.

Would the group have the cool/crappy tattoos of each mamber of NKOTB on their forearms? After each one they defeat the tat disappears?

You know you could also run this using New Edition as a variant.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umEbhFKV6mc

You could even have the execs used as hosts for Crab People who came to Earth before the Bugs from UB.

Oh yes.

WR. You rock sir or ma'am.

This smoke is for you.

[Lazerface]

You could also have them kill this man.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0

Teeheeteehee....

[bibliophile20]

[Lazarus]

Sweet Lord! Lazerface you just inspired me to create the greatest Free Spirit ever. One that has the innate magical ability: Uncontrollable Dance.

[hyzmarca]

Chuck De Nomolos from Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey can provide the New Kinds on the Block with protection. And robots.

[Lindt]

Holy jesus on a asphalt roofing shingle, this is priceless. Im going to have to keep this as the "well my latest group finally blew it" plan.

[Wounded Ronin]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1DPNDgIMoc...related&search=

Someone on Youtube had been uploading NKOTB cartoon show episodes. I viewed the file and lost some SAN points.