 Silly Body Mods, Would you do surgery for your Iphone? |
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 Aug 10 2007, 04:21 PM
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#1
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Target  Group: Members Posts: 80 Joined: 25-March 07 Member No.: 11,306  |
Thomas Martel, 28, of Bonnie Brae is a big guy. So he has a hard time using the features on ever-shrinking user interfaces on devices like his new iPhone. At least, he did, until he had his thumbs surgically altered in a revolutionary new surgical technique known as "whittling."
"From my old Treo, to my Blackberry, to this new iPhone, I had a hard time hitting the right buttons, and I always lost those little styluses," explains Martel. "Sure, the procedure was expensive, but when I think of all the time I save by being able to use modern handhelds so much faster, I really think the surgery will pay for itself in ten to fifteen years. And what it's saving me in frustration - that's priceless." "This is really, on the edge sort of stuff," explains Dr. Robert Fox Spars, who worked on developing the procedure. "We're turning plastic surgery from something that people use in service of vanity, to a real tool for improving workplace efficiency." The procedure involved making a small incision into both thumbs and shaving down the bones, followed by careful muscular alteration and modification of the fingernails. While Martel's new thumbs now appear small and effeminate in comparison to his otherwise very large hands, he says he can still lift "pretty much anything I could lift before the surgery - though opening spaghetti sauce jars has been a problem. That was a big surprise." http://www.northdenvernews.com/content/v... |
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Aug 10 2007, 04:29 PM
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#2
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Genuine Artificial Intelligence Group: Members Posts: 4,019 Joined: 12-June 03 Member No.: 4,715 |
Bad linkage.
Corrected linkage. |
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Aug 10 2007, 04:44 PM
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#3
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Incertum est quo loco te mors expectet; Group: Dumpshocked Posts: 6,546 Joined: 24-October 03 From: DeeCee, U.S. Member No.: 5,760 |
If only they made some sort of... thumb cover that you could wear without plunking down thousands of dollars to play with your thousands of dollars of toys.
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Aug 10 2007, 05:47 PM
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#4
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ghostrider Group: Retired Admins Posts: 4,196 Joined: 16-May 04 Member No.: 6,333 |
*blink*
There is no end to people's idiocy. Um, use a phone/device/etc. that doesn't require that you first undergo surgery? Use an assisting device, such as nezumi suggests? Nah, gotta have that iPhone! Better get my fucking thumbs surgically altered. Jackass. |
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Aug 10 2007, 07:44 PM
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#5
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Immortal Elf Group: Validating Posts: 7,999 Joined: 26-February 02 Member No.: 1,890 |
What he said. |
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Aug 11 2007, 12:19 AM
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#6
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 219 Joined: 26-April 02 From: Emerald City, Oz Member No.: 2,648 |
I just let my thumbnails grow a bit long and trim them into a useful shape...most people dont even notice...
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Aug 11 2007, 12:34 AM
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#7
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Manus Celer Dei Group: Dumpshocked Posts: 17,006 Joined: 30-December 02 From: Boston Member No.: 3,802 |
He has achieved a new purity of interaction. He is the path forward.
~J |
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Aug 11 2007, 09:39 AM
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#8
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 831 Joined: 5-September 05 From: LAX, UCAS Member No.: 7,687 |
Meh, call me when they can implant and DNI link the things (reliably and without that huge ass DNI interface they use atm) and I'll be right there in line. Till then, not worth it.
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Aug 11 2007, 10:38 AM
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#9
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Mystery Archaeologist Group: Members Posts: 2,906 Joined: 19-September 05 From: The apple tree Member No.: 7,760 |
Wow, I just found one of the founders of a gang I used in my Denver game last night...
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Aug 11 2007, 09:14 PM
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#10
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Knight Templar Group: Dumpshocked Posts: 212 Joined: 20-June 04 From: Ipswich, UK Just South of the Stinkfens Member No.: 6,424 |
And people said that no-one would have surgery to get technological enhancements :cyber:
Wonder how many trolls would do that in the 6th world? |
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Aug 12 2007, 12:33 AM
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#11
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 472 Joined: 14-June 07 Member No.: 11,909 |
I'd say almost none, what with implanted commlinks and datalinks being quite common and widespread.
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Aug 12 2007, 02:06 AM
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#12
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Running Target Group: Members Posts: 1,070 Joined: 7-February 04 From: NYC Member No.: 6,058 |
It's not just silly, it's bullshit. A fake.
The description of the surgery doesn't sound even remotely realistic, and the doctor mentioned in the article doesn't come up on a Google search in any article not related to this story. Or, more importantly, have a single article to his name listed on http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/sites/entrez?db=PubMed |
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Aug 12 2007, 02:10 AM
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#13
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Immortal Elf Group: Validating Posts: 7,999 Joined: 26-February 02 Member No.: 1,890 |
Probably a street doc then.
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Aug 12 2007, 06:45 PM
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#14
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Running Target Group: Members Posts: 1,180 Joined: 22-January 07 From: Rochester, NY Member No.: 10,737 |
Annnnd... here's the verdict from Snopes:
http://www.snopes.com/humor/iftrue/iphonethumb.asp (it's false, BTW) |
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Aug 13 2007, 12:35 AM
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#15
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ghostrider Group: Retired Admins Posts: 4,196 Joined: 16-May 04 Member No.: 6,333 |
Heh. Just goes to show you that after playing SR for long enough, no body mod sounds too outlandish to be true, even if it does sound effing retarded. :D
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Aug 13 2007, 07:28 AM
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#16
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 831 Joined: 5-September 05 From: LAX, UCAS Member No.: 7,687 |
Unfortunately not SR related here - I just have great faith in the idiocy of the majority of mankind.
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Aug 18 2007, 02:44 AM
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#17
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Target Group: Members Posts: 80 Joined: 25-March 07 Member No.: 11,306 |
Okay, since I was the original sucker who posted the story, I post this in my defense.
Dennis "Cat" Avner http://www.stalkingcat.net/ Compared to him - surgically altering someone's thumbs seems damn reasonable. :S |
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Aug 18 2007, 03:31 AM
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#18
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Bushido Cowgirl Group: Members Posts: 5,782 Joined: 8-July 05 From: On the Double K Ranch a half day's ride out of Phlogiston Flats Member No.: 7,490 |
...bad link. locked up my system & had to restart. |
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Aug 18 2007, 03:38 AM
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#19
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Target Group: Members Posts: 80 Joined: 25-March 07 Member No.: 11,306 |
The other link worked fine on my computer. Try this one instead.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stalking_Cat |
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Aug 18 2007, 03:53 AM
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#20
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Midnight Toker Group: Members Posts: 7,686 Joined: 4-July 04 From: Zombie Drop Bear Santa's Workshop Member No.: 6,456 |
Altering yourself to look like your Totem as an act of religious devotion. Shaving your thumbs so that you can use an iphone is just insane.
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Aug 18 2007, 09:18 AM
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#21
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Horror Group: Members Posts: 5,322 Joined: 15-June 05 From: BumFuck, New Jersey Member No.: 7,445 |
What if Steve Jobs is your Totem?
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Aug 18 2007, 01:59 PM
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#22
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Manus Celer Dei Group: Dumpshocked Posts: 17,006 Joined: 30-December 02 From: Boston Member No.: 3,802 |
Then you'd end up with a lot of black mock turtlenecks and blue jeans.
~J |
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Aug 18 2007, 04:46 PM
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#23
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Midnight Toker Group: Members Posts: 7,686 Joined: 4-July 04 From: Zombie Drop Bear Santa's Workshop Member No.: 6,456 |
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Aug 18 2007, 11:42 PM
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#24
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Bushido Cowgirl Group: Members Posts: 5,782 Joined: 8-July 05 From: On the Double K Ranch a half day's ride out of Phlogiston Flats Member No.: 7,490 |
...hey at least it's not "Bill the Gates". though I wonder if Mr. Avner still has a job as programmer. Definitely not normal "IS drone" dress code. |
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