 Dragon Facts |
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 Oct 6 2007, 07:47 PM
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#1
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Great Dragon  Group: Members Posts: 6,748 Joined: 5-July 02 Member No.: 2,935  |
Some people like to eat frog's legs. Lofwyr likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, anacondas.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Aden lives on Mt. Ararat. Lofwyr doesn't believe in Australia. Wilt Chamberlain once claimed to have slept with 20,000 women during his life. Damon calls that "a slow Tuesday." They tried to carve Dunkelzahn's face onto Mt. Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his scales. When Lung kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Ryumyo kills a ninja, he uses every part of it. Thousands of years ago Lofwyr came across an elf. It was so terrified that it fled south into the Wyrmwood. It was also so terrified that all of its descendants are now bitchy emo people. Damon is responsible for China's over-population. He attended a speed-dating session in Hong Kong and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Dunkelzahn pajamas. A high tide means Lofwyr is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants. Dragon breath doesn't really kill people. It wipes out their entire existence from the space-time continuum. The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Lofwyr instead of Smaug. It was only 5 pages long, as Smaug ate the halfing's ass and bankrupted Sauron halfway through the first chapter. Dunkelzahn proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition. Superman once watched an episode of Wyrm Talk. He then cried himself to sleep. There is no such thing as global warming. Sirrurg was cold, so he turned the sun up. Lofwyr doesn't play god. Playing is for children. Wo Hu Cang Lung. The translation from Mandarin Chinese reads: "Crouching Dragon, Hidden Lung." Sirrurg cannot love, he can only not kill. Dunkelzahn once pulled out a single scale and beheaded three men with it. Ryumyo recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as kamikaze. |
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Oct 6 2007, 08:01 PM
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#2
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Running Target Group: Members Posts: 1,180 Joined: 22-January 07 From: Rochester, NY Member No.: 10,737 |
:rotfl:
Excellent! |
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Oct 6 2007, 08:02 PM
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#3
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Prime Runner Group: Banned Posts: 3,732 Joined: 1-September 05 From: Prague, Czech Republic Member No.: 7,665 |
Inti Jiwana does not fear the coming of the Horrors. The Horrors have not come yet because they are afraid of Inti Jiwana.
Godzilla only attacks Nippon because Hestaby is in the other direction and he knows when he is beat. Alamais has an elf in his family tree. And it's still hanging there. Lofwyr found gold while picking his nose. Dunkelzahn knew where Carmen Sandiego was. Hence the rift. When Aden goes to donate blood, he declines s syringe. He takes the Spear of Longinus and a bath tub. When Celedyr delets files he does not send them to the recycle bin. He sends them to hell. On his birthday, Alamais sends one lucky child a fruitcake. Then he throws that child into the sun. Schwarzkopf is the only one allowed to "try this at home". -Frank |
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Oct 6 2007, 08:13 PM
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#4
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Great Dragon Group: Members Posts: 6,748 Joined: 5-July 02 Member No.: 2,935 |
Little old ladies collect cats. Mujaji collects lion shapeshifters.
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Oct 6 2007, 08:25 PM
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#5
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 325 Joined: 24-February 06 From: Kansas Member No.: 8,304 |
Chucknoris is so much cooler though :)
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Oct 6 2007, 08:26 PM
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#6
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Midnight Toker Group: Members Posts: 7,686 Joined: 4-July 04 From: Zombie Drop Bear Santa's Workshop Member No.: 6,456 |
Lofwyr doesn't fly. He pushes the Earth down.
The bible was originally titled "Moleskin and Friends" When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Sirrurg. Aden is the reason why Waldo is hiding. The character of Johnny Appleseed was based on Lofwyr... except for the part about planting apple trees... and not raping men. |
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Oct 6 2007, 08:51 PM
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#7
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Bushido Cowgirl Group: Members Posts: 5,782 Joined: 8-July 05 From: On the Double K Ranch a half day's ride out of Phlogiston Flats Member No.: 7,490 |
...Simon was Rhonabwy in the 5th world.
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Oct 6 2007, 08:58 PM
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#8
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Target Group: Members Posts: 89 Joined: 8-September 07 From: Boston, England Member No.: 13,170 |
Damon went to the Virgin Islands, now there just called the Islands . . . .
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Oct 7 2007, 06:26 AM
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#9
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Target Group: Members Posts: 67 Joined: 30-May 06 Member No.: 8,621 |
Life imitates art, but Death imitates Lofwyr. Poorly.
Dunkelzahn read the report about his death while enjoying a cup of tea on the sun. Aden was the first to attempt making ice cream in the darkages, and perfected death by chocolate. In history books, it is refered to as the black plague. Lung does not kill people. People kill themselves because they think Lung wants them to die. Hestaby does not get up in the morning. Hestaby wakes up whenever he feels like, and morning knows whats best for it. WWGK: Who wouldn't ghostwalker kill? Lofwyr does not take play dice with the universe. He dictates the outcome. |
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Oct 7 2007, 07:08 AM
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#10
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Running Target Group: Members Posts: 1,326 Joined: 15-April 02 Member No.: 2,600 |
I would have said, "Little old ladies collect cats. Mujaji collects little old ladies." Picks nitted, I must say: funny stuff. Although I don't know who any of these (non)people are, I'll take a swing. Lung is named such because he allows the world's population to breathe. |
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Oct 7 2007, 09:15 AM
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#11
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Target Group: Members Posts: 89 Joined: 8-September 07 From: Boston, England Member No.: 13,170 |
They're all the Major Great Dragons in the Game (Check out Dragons of the Sixth Age for details) Most of the quotes are stolen from Chuck Norris. Superman crushes coal in his hand to make a diamond, Lofwyr crushes African nations to dig for diamonds in his mines. |
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Oct 8 2007, 03:24 AM
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#12
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 906 Joined: 16-October 06 Member No.: 9,630 |
Mr T and Chuck Noris were really Great Dragons in disguise.
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Oct 8 2007, 03:29 AM
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#13
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 609 Joined: 13-August 07 Member No.: 12,615 |
Fool! Ah pitey immotal evs!
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Oct 8 2007, 04:01 AM
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#14
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Target Group: Members Posts: 67 Joined: 30-May 06 Member No.: 8,621 |
Dunkelzahn Destroyed the original periodic table. Because only Dunkelzahn can know about the Element of Surprise.
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Oct 8 2007, 04:20 AM
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#15
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Running Target Group: Members Posts: 1,326 Joined: 15-April 02 Member No.: 2,600 |
To my credit, I know they're great dragons, and I'm familiar with the Norrisisms, its just that other than Dunk and Lofwyr (and to a lesser extent, Hestaby, Ghostwalker and Lung), I've never really read much about them.
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Oct 8 2007, 04:58 AM
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#16
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Running Target Group: Members Posts: 1,269 Joined: 18-September 06 Member No.: 9,421 |
You have me beat, I know Dunk, Lofwyr, Alamais, Lung, Mang, and Ryumyo, but I don't know anything about any of them except Dunk and Lofwyr besides their names.
Chris |
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Oct 8 2007, 06:00 AM
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#17
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Prime Runner Group: Banned Posts: 3,732 Joined: 1-September 05 From: Prague, Czech Republic Member No.: 7,665 |
OK, how do I explain Sirrurg:
There is no natural selection, only ceatures Sirrurg allows to live. It turns out that it is easy being green - but only for Sirrurg. Every day Sirrurg does something awesome, kills a dude, and then wakes up. Then he does something awesome and kills a dude. In any room there are at least 13 things that Sirrurg can use to kill you, including the room itself. Sirrurg once asked the Amazonian people what kind of government they wanted. He's such a kidder some times. Sirrurg also did some downcycle hunting. That's why there are no more Ghraxxa. The reason that western dragons do not have feathers is that feathers are too afraid of Sirrurg to grow. -Frank |
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Oct 8 2007, 08:33 AM
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#18
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Immoral Elf Group: Members Posts: 15,247 Joined: 29-March 02 From: Grimy Pete's Bar & Laundromat Member No.: 2,486 |
Um, who? |
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