Weapon personalities?, like... what? Options

[wind_in_the_ston...]

I saw the couple of sentences about Weapon Personality programs from Arsenal (p34). A weapon personality is a soft ware personality for your gun’s computer, giving it a metahuman-like interface to communicate with via your PAN.

I thought this sounded like I could have a little fun with it, and tried to come up with a few amusing personalities that I could use. But when I tried to picture the sorts of conversations I could have with my gun during play, the idea kind of broke down.

What kinds of things does a gun have to say?

"Hey, it's time to reload." Um... what else?

[Morrigana]

Try an assault rifle that has the Pacifist flaw.

[Adarael]

One of my players has an Ares Alpha with a personality chip for "Bored Thai Hooker."

His rifle insults his friends fashion sense.
It tells stories about how it services johns (I.E. shoots people).
It gets insulted if he uses another gun too much, because he's a 'regular'.
It talks about how he ought to go out partying more, and take 'her' with him.

All in all, the entire idea is ridiculous, but funny to play out.

[Ancient History]

Some things must be shown, not told.

[AJCarrington]

You might be interested in checking out the book "Death's Head" by David Gunn. For approx the last two thirds of the book, the main character has a gun with its own AI; kind of funny scary all at the same time.

AJC

[Wesley Street]

"Your hands are sweaty."

or

"Am I in your pocket or are you happy to see me? Wait, don't answer that."

or

(chant)"This is my rifle, this is my gun...!"

or

"All those feminists were right! I do look like a big, metal penis!"

[attack]

One of my characters had a pistol modded to look like NES light gun that issued points for nice shots.

[Mäx]

When character has multible guns
"Use me, use me."
Or if al those guns have personalities they could get in to an argument over which one the character should use.
"Pick me, pick me"
"No, pick me"
"don't pick them, I'm way better for this situation"

[Aaron]

"All of the weapons in this facility have a cheerful and sunny disposition. It is their pleasure to open fire for you and their satisfaction to cease fire with the knowledge of a job well done."

[xicidis]

Sigh... You always use them. I'm never useful... OK fine, use me. Launching grenade... See, now I made all kinds of noise. Now they are going to come after us, and your going to blame me. Sigh...

[Chrysalis]

"Yes! Yes!" "Oh yes. Right there." "Oh god! Mmm... fire me again baby! You know you want it."

This and other porn noises can be found on the Multi-6 persona chip. Be a cock, buy a Multi-6.

[wind_in_the_ston...]

Those all sound pretty good, but if I want to do that right (and keep it out of the realm of fantasy - not that there's anything wrong with fantasy), particularly for the Buck Godot scenario, I'll need a sensor package (voice/facial recognition, empathy), not to mention the sensor package itself. So a few hundred more nuyen. I get it. Thanks, carry on!

Oh, and I love the bored hooker idea.

Morrigana, did you ever see Dark Star? Let's just say it featured a smart bomb that was too smart to destroy itself by detonating.

Edit: Oh, I see it - Pilot Upgrade. 1000 or 2500¥. Seems like you'd still need a sensor package, and the appropriate software.

[Hagga]

"Wake up, asshole."
"What the hell was that?"
"Why don't we swap places?"
"What the Ghost is wrong with you? He was RIGHT THERE."
"Sullen Teen Elf"

Or worse, some sick, twisted bastard could put a Lilarcor personality into an assault cannon.

[nezumi]

You could have a cheap Taiwanese knock-off of an Ares original with an inferiority complex.

[BookWyrm]

I'm reminded of a little skit on TV, years ago, where a young african-american actor (Marlon Wayans?) is in a pawn shop & looking to buy a gun; as he looks over each one, he (& the veiwer) are treated to a commentary by the gun of why it's the best & why the customer should by it (Robin Williams did a chilling but appropo mock-German voice for a Luger, trying to explain that all those deaths were not his fault).....eventually, the customer is startled by the shop owner asking which gun he wants. The customer, suitably freaked out by the 'possessed' weaponry, politely changes his mind to the shop owner & stumbles out.

[wind_in_the_ston...]

You missed! You haven't been to target practice lately.
But I pulled the trigger. You must have been slow.
Why do you blame it on me? I can't be expected to do everything for you. And when was the last time you cleaned me?
I cleaned my gun this morning, heh heh.
Well, I never! That's it, you're grounded. No more bullets for you today.
Aw shit!
Watch your language, young man! I should wash your mouth out with soap.

[NPCMook]

I was thinking of using a shotgun with the personality of Elmer Fudd

[Fix-it]

One of my characters had a pistol modded to look like NES light gun that issued points for nice shots.

did an annoying farking dog come up and laugh at you when you missed?

[toturi]

An NPC has a rifle with Dick Marcinko's persona and it offers him all sorts of unsolicited advise.

"Wake up dick head! You forgot to clean me again, pus nut!"

"You can't see the targets? Shit for brains, stick me out around the fucking corner!"

"I'm out of ammo. Hit the motherfucker with me! What the fuck are you waiting for? An invitation, asshole?"

"Pain? God gives you pain to tell you you're alive! God loves you, Haleluyah!"

[hosh]

I know this isn't the same game type and I know how little most folks think of D&D but I figure this might help. Had a character a few years back who had a lovely intelligent sword. Thought it was a preacher of all things. Used to give the defeated last rights, pissed and moaned when we wouldn't bury the poor frost giant since it was one of gods creatures even if it had not repented its ways. Even went as far as to try and give me confession a few times. Said all the killing could not be good for my eternal soul if I kept it all in. Final act it made was when my character finally passed on in a fight with a couple of quicklings that where just to smart for me I got to hear as I was passing on "I earnestly commend to you the soul of this servant, Michael., in his last agony, so that under your protecting care he may be delivered from the wiles of the devil and from everlasting death and attain everlasting happiness; through Christ our Lord. and then the resounding boom of the three delayed fireballs he had cast during the whole recitation and timed to go off as he intoned amen. Lets just say I never picked up another weapon that talked to me for a long time.

[Digital Heroin]

Suddenly I have an image of a weapon (possibly a Sakura Fubuki, or more ominously something explosive) with a personality modeled after the "Big Sister" who introduces the students from Battle Royale to the game... all over the top enthusiastic and bubbly in a thoroughly Japanese manner about people killing eachother. Bonus would be to have the personality linked to a Virtual Person.

[Fortune]

"If you're not careful, I might go off half-cocked''

[Morrigana]

Something fun: The runners accidentally get guns intended for another team, due to a mixup by the fixer. These guns are programmed with perfect Klingon personalities and like to shout Klingon warcries or sing Klingon operas during a fight. Imagine how fun that would make stealth missions.

[Damage]

Imagine having a grenade land next to you yelling, "I'm a thirty-second bomb...I'm a thirty-second bomb...twenty-nine...twenty-eight...twenty --- I LIED!!! <BOOM>"

Also, for a good example, remember Rogue Trooper.

[AngelisStorm]

WWVD

"What Would Vera Do"