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> Deformity Negative Quality, Can a deformity be an "asset" as well?
Doc Chase
post Aug 24 2010, 07:19 PM
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This is going to be the greatest bar story never told.

===


We pulled up to the drop-off point in a hijacked limousine amidst a throng of people. Word really had gotten out that we had the dongs - all of them. There were fewer now as we got out of the car. Shecky was nursing a nasty concussion from the crash, Mook broke his arm and lost his favorite MMG, and AJ was sporting a black eye and a bloody nose from getting smacked in the face with one of The Johnson's dongs. I had enough cuts on me from one of the Elf's razorboys that it looked like I'd gotten the raw end of it in a Tiajuana cockfight. But we still came out on top, and the Elf was left hanging in the breeze.

A mighty bellow parted the crowd before us. We could hear The Johnson shouting as he came out of the house, still in his bathrobe and being trailed by his retinue. I could count another three or four bubbly beach-blonde heads in the group- it was like they were reproducing like rabbits in there.

I was going to kill Sooz for this later.

"Stand aside, my boys gotta breathe!" he shouted, muscling his way through and getting the crowd to give us some space. Inside the limo were two large strongboxes filled with coins, one of them open to show the lustre of gold.

A hush rippled through the crowd as the glitter of Johnson's dongs caused all conversation to cease. The sight of 'em caused a silence so great you could hear a pin drop.

"They're beautiful," I could hear one of the blondes say. "I just want to rub them all over my face!"

"You'll get the chance," Johnson replied as he wired our payment over. "I'll have the girls polish all these off - they don't mind the mess."

The crowd moved in to help handle Johnson's special delivery. They were dumped into bulging sacks that they heaved inside to be cleaned and polished, all set for display. He pulled me aside as the focus left us.

"I gotta know," he said. "Didja give it to The Elf?"

"Yeah," I replied. "We gave it to 'im real good. Mook got the best piece of all of us, though."

"Yeah?" he asked, his eyes a-glitter. "What'd he do?"

"See, Mook's claim to fame is he hits harder 'n a mule can kick. He calls it his 'Donkey Punch.'"

The Johnson startled the crowd with his braying laugh, and he thumped me on the back. He yelled, "Leave a couple of these for my delivery guys! And quit playin' with 'em so much or they'll make you go blind!"


That's why I've got a picture of The Johnson on my wall, and why you don't polish gold in directed light.
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Mooncrow
post Aug 24 2010, 07:21 PM
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QUOTE (Doc Chase @ Aug 24 2010, 03:19 PM) *
"See, Mook's claim to fame is he hits harder 'n a mule can kick. He calls it his 'Donkey Punch.'"


Not going to lie, I laughed so hard at that, my stomach hurts now (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)
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Doc Chase
post Aug 24 2010, 07:22 PM
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See, it's not necessarily an advantage, but Deformity can add a lot of flavour to a game. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)
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Squiddy Attack
post Aug 24 2010, 07:37 PM
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I think the thread has reached its natural conclusion now... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)
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X-Kalibur
post Aug 24 2010, 07:51 PM
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QUOTE (Squiddy Attack @ Aug 24 2010, 11:37 AM) *
I think the thread has reached its natural conclusion now... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)


Foul! Improper wording! Correction below!

I think the thread has reached its climax now... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)
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Squiddy Attack
post Aug 24 2010, 07:52 PM
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I was tempted to say that, but...

... Ah, hell. I have no excuse.
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Doc Chase
post Aug 24 2010, 07:53 PM
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I think that's a little...premature.
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Squiddy Attack
post Aug 24 2010, 07:55 PM
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Oh, come on. We have to get off the subject sometime.
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Doc Chase
post Aug 24 2010, 08:10 PM
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For what it's worth, I hope so.

The one-liner intro theme from CSI: Miami won't get out of my head.

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Yerameyahu
post Aug 24 2010, 08:25 PM
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Blah, those were both pretty flaccid, Squiddy Attack. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/frown.gif)
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Doc Chase
post Aug 24 2010, 08:29 PM
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Chalk it up to performance anxiety.


GAH THERE GOES THE THEME AGAIN
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Yerameyahu
post Aug 24 2010, 08:36 PM
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It's okay, it happens to lots of posters. :/ It doesn't make you less of a whatever you are. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)
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X-Kalibur
post Aug 24 2010, 08:37 PM
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QUOTE (Yerameyahu @ Aug 24 2010, 01:36 PM) *
It's okay, it happens to lots of posters. :/ It doesn't make you less of a whatever you are. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)


It's never happened before, I swear!
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Yerameyahu
post Aug 24 2010, 08:45 PM
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We can just minmax and argue until you're ready to try again, honey.
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Doc Chase
post Aug 24 2010, 08:50 PM
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I'm sorry baby, I just-- I have a headache, baby. I'm just gonna take some asprin and go to bed.
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MindandPen
post Aug 31 2010, 12:42 PM
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It really isn't the length of your post that matters, it's what you do with it.
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CanRay
post Aug 31 2010, 01:01 PM
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Yeah, keep telling yourself that. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/nyahnyah.gif)
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Doc Chase
post Aug 31 2010, 01:32 PM
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The headache managed to suppress the thread for a week. Not bad. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/nyahnyah.gif)

I have been told that a slow, rhythmic posting style with the ability to plunge to new depths is highly preferred. Sprinkling your experience with teasers, a bit of 'dirty talk' and perhaps some verbal spankings can bring understanding to new heights for both parties.

Just be sure to shield your...arguments from contamination. Know your debate partner, and post wisely.
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Dwight
post Aug 31 2010, 01:35 PM
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Dumpshock Forum's servers, now hosted from Fire Island's Meat Rack.
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X-Kalibur
post Aug 31 2010, 05:23 PM
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QUOTE (Dwight @ Aug 31 2010, 05:35 AM) *
Dumpshock Forum's servers, now hosted from Fire Island's Meat Rack.


Does it involve meatspin as well?
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Dwight
post Aug 31 2010, 05:29 PM
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QUOTE (X-Kalibur @ Aug 31 2010, 10:23 AM) *
Does it involve meatspin as well?

Not sure, probably. I do know it does involve a big, jiggly-boob man-hug from a sweat drenched and bald Meatloaf.
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Draco18s
post Aug 31 2010, 05:54 PM
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QUOTE (Dwight @ Aug 31 2010, 12:29 PM) *
Not sure, probably. I do know it does involve a big, jiggly-boob man-hug from a sweat drenched and bald Meatloaf.


What a sausage fest.
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TommyTwoToes
post Aug 31 2010, 06:43 PM
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QUOTE (Draco18s @ Aug 31 2010, 12:54 PM) *
What a sausage fest.

Hillshire Farms, GO MEAT!
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