Funniest damn thing I have heard from the Army Options

[naga-nuyen]

So my buddy got back from deployment and they have just gotten back from leave. Two companies in his unit are now pulling 50% 24hr security on their barracks guarding against stupidity. I mean full security minus Ammo, crew served weapons, Razor wire, control points getting into the parking lot, challenge and password. And why you ask are they doing this in garrison?

On the weekend someone in the barracks ordered pizza, our poor delivery lady goes up to the barracks checks into CQ then heads up to the room, comes down and finds no pizza, and more importantly no car. They found the car in the back 40' (training grounds) a couple days later. Goes without saying that there was no pizza in it!

1SGT and CSM are thinking peer pressure is going to get some information on how this happened on his barracks and by whom in the company. But from experience I give it a couple more days and if they get no info they will cut back till everything is normal.

[Doc Chase]

Wait wait wait. Pizza Girl heads up to the barracks and doesn't take the pies with her?

Wha?

[naga-nuyen]

She had lots of on post deliveries in her car, not sure how many pies but I was in for 8 years and they never brought more than the sale up to the floor. I mean I have no details but that SGT that was on CQ is done; it is his/her area of responsibility. They will get to revisit Specialist again very soon (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

[Kruger]

And this is why you always take your keys with you.

Sounds like 19-20 year old males, probably drunk, lol. Very creative punishment too.

[Doc Chase]

And this is why you always take your keys with you.

Sounds like 19-20 year old males, probably drunk, lol. Very creative punishment too.

Sounds like the sort who try to hotbox their barracks room. Not that I know of anyone like that. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/nyahnyah.gif)

[naga-nuyen]

I remember in Korea after we did a MOPP training tha two guys tried to sleep through it in one of the Vehicles assigned to the cooks. They made them dress in MOPP for and took them down to the River and had them fish for supper for the commander. One of the funniest things I have seen is someone trying to take a fish hook out of there MOPP gear without being able to take it off, poor private fell into the river. They fished his sorry cold butt out downstream and had him do a MOPP exchange drill and went right back on fishing, good training!

[Christian Lafay]

Forget that. When I was on base the pizza person brought them all to CQ at the same time and the privates who got stuck with runner-duty would watch the pies like they were watching over the weapon vault. The God of Pizzas and Freedom (the CSM) was a kind god, but had reserves of wrath. We challenged him not. Except in a sumo suit, but that is another story. But then again... a bunch or Army guys stuck on an Air Force base..... We didn't need to take things from civilians. We took things from the Air Force.

[naga-nuyen]

That is not taking, that is reassignment via lateral service shift. They have a code and everything for the DA 2404

Come to think of it the only time i saw big words used in the army was to describe something they were at the time doing that was "wrong", the bigger the "wrong" the bigger the word

[Christian Lafay]

I wish I had known that. I had to reassign a very fancy looking Air Force golf-cart. I was on profile not allowing me to walk more than an 1/8th of a mile and it had the keys in it. Found out some Airmen can't run faster than their golf-carts and that just because I'm a 35N that doesn't make me special.

[naga-nuyen]

Have a lot of things I could say about their PT, but when it comes down to it there good at what they do, and there Para guys saved some pilots on our base in Germany when they went down in Afghan. That being said the Air force crew got sub standard living allowance for living on Giebelstadt Army Air field (well not our Army any longer).

[fistandantilus4....]

They fished his sorry cold butt out downstream and had him do a MOPP exchange drill and went right back on fishing, good training!

That is hilarious. Just did change out drills the other day, so its nice being able to laugh at someone else. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

[naga-nuyen]

I loved re-training with my soldiers, I hated punishment. If my troop failed on a mission in garrison then by god I had only get the Platoon/1SG head nod and I had 20hrs a day to re-train my troop. After 3-5 days there interest in getting there shit straight sky rocketed.

And the best was if my troops were late. If they were late to Accountability/mandatory formations then you have taken it out of my hands and we do what the Platoon SGT wants. But if your late to my formations, or to work call no prob. I tell your peers to get you under control, if it happens again then after work call the next day my soldiers have instructions to bring everything they need for an entire day of work in a ruk sack. After PT we inventory it, and then next formation is in 25min after Hygiene is conducted. Then I march my troops over to the DFAC, anyone on off post allowances not prepared with their own food gets an MRE. Then I march my happy crew up to work call. Then I march them from work call to DFAC for lunch, then right back to work call. Then I march them back to staff duty were we issue out car keys after end of the day formation. I tell you in 5 yrs of having strips I only had to do this twice, every other time my troops policed up their peers riki tiki fast.

When I had a section and I had a SGT not performing up to standard, then I put him under his fellow E5. Peer pressure is a mother, and after a week of being a PV5 they get there shit squared away real quick.

[Sixgun_Sage]

You people are bringing back a mixed bag of memories, I hated MOPP gear.

[naga-nuyen]

MOPP for me was like cold, unless i was being injured by the cold it was all a mental state. I just picture everyone around me on fire and i was generally happy in it!

[Sixgun_Sage]

Oh, I could function just fine in it, doesn't stop me from hating the stuff. Does not help that one nco had an interesting opinion on the definition of "Good Training."

[Christian Lafay]

The only thing I had a blast doing with training, other than being OPFOR (GOD I LOVE THAT!), was the NBC chamber in Basic. Me and one other guy were completely unaffected and it was a blast to watch the others. But his reason for being immune was better than my, "I don't know..."

Drill Sgt "Private! How the fuck are you not gagging?!"
Prt "Drill Sgt! I used to smoke meth, Drill Sgt!"

[sgtbarnes_ky]

That's what i liked about Hvy Mech, all the formations where in the Motor Pool, and we were always in the Motor Pool, made life easier. As for MOPP, all I can say is an extra layer of clothing in the back 40 in BFE Germany, knee deep in MUD, never hurt this Joseph. hehe he fell in the river..stupid Joe.

[Sixgun_Sage]

That's what i liked about Hvy Mech, all the formations where in the Motor Pool, and we were always in the Motor Pool, made life easier. As for MOPP, all I can say is an extra layer of clothing in the back 40 in BFE Germany, knee deep in MUD, never hurt this Joseph. hehe he fell in the river..stupid Joe.

MOPP in a middle eastern shit hole (ok, I understand the purpose...) in the summer is a unique sort of discomfort and the cause of much swampass.

[sgtbarnes_ky]

DRINK WATER!!!! HOOAH!!!! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) Luckily when i was deployed they never made use wear MOPP, they said everything was secure and there was no more active combat in our theater of operation, hehe, then why couldn't we salute the Officers....DRINK WATER!!! HOOAH!!! As I recall if memory serves I was took fire everyday for 6 months will on patrol, by the way in 3E I see now the value in adding Ballistic Plates to my armored vest now. DRINK WATER!!! HOOAH!!!!

[sgtbarnes_ky]

DRINK WATER!!!! HOOAH!!!! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) Luckily when i was deployed they never made use wear MOPP, they said everything waS secure and there was no more active combat in our theater of operation, hehe, then why couldn't we salute the Officers....DRINK WATER!!! HOOAH!!! As I recall if memory serves I took fire everyday for 6 months while on patrol, by the way in 3E I see now the value in adding Ballistic Plates to my armored vest now. DRINK WATER!!! HOOAH!!!!

[Sixgun_Sage]

Just seeing that axiom peppering a post recalls the feeling of sand in.... places it just should not be. Ever. Quit it.

[CanadianWolverin...]

I am civy and furrenner to boot, I feel like a friggin anthropologist whenever I stumble across threads like these. If it wasn't for the glossary at the back of Rogue Warrior fiction I wouldn't have the first clue what language you badasses were even speaking. Kinda reminds me of that list I came across once, The List of Things Private Isn't Allowed To Do or something.

Perhaps it speaks to how far US military culture has spread across the globe. Not going to say whether I regard that as a good or bad thing, but I bet you can guess.

BTW, how do we makes this about Shadowrun (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif) Do you guys play Shadowrun on the base, pretending to be The Unit long haired hippy and biker misfits or something?

[Christian Lafay]

The List of Things Private Isn't Allowed To Do or something.

THE SKIPPY LIST! I love that list. Met the man once, he's a riot.

And as far as applying it on base, playing Shadowrun with military types always seems to turn out bad. You got the Infantry who know how to handle a fire fight too well to ensure the gangers/corp sec always dies. You got the tankers and the munitions who can level a city block. And then you got Intel (Hi! Hehe) who will play the hackers and use the satellite systems at are in orbit today to reroute a signal. Too much meta-gaming, haha.

[fistandantilus4....]

In my experience, military types are pretty good at SR. You just have to be ready to amp up the opposition to a logical level. They have a little more experience with the tactics. Get the military police types, and they have a better idea of law enforcement tactics too. The only problem I've had is the learning curve of a group with military types and non.

[Sixgun_Sage]

In my experience, military types are pretty good at SR. You just have to be ready to amp up the opposition to a logical level. They have a little more experience with the tactics. Get the military police types, and they have a better idea of law enforcement tactics too. The only problem I've had is the learning curve of a group with military types and non.

What you need to do, usually, is stick the military types in roles they are otherwise unfamiliar with, not always entirely feasible but it can help keep them from dangerously outpacing others at the table.