[X] My Assistant

[Socinus]

In the gaming world, that is. What? What'd you think I meant? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/grinbig.gif)

So for the fifth consecutive week in a row, BOTH of the games I play in have fallen through. I'm starting to get really frustrated with gaming in general because it seems like every time you get a good game going, it just falls apart and it's so contingent on people being there that its impossible to keep a game going.

I'm seriously considering just saying "fuck tabletops" altogether and I really dont want to but the frustration level is becoming unhealthy.

Have you ever reached this point?

[CanRay]

My group has fallen apart...

I have been trying to take part in a Shadowrun game for literally 20-years, only to have every chance fail on me. Three groups in less than two months being the most recent.

Yes, I have reached this point, yet I have no other alternative but to keep trying... Otherwise, I'd just get a WoW account, move my computer into the basement, and never see the light of day again.

[Ghost_in_the_Sys...]

never see the light of day again.

See the what-now?

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/nyahnyah.gif) Okay, but seriously, I've not had this problem. Groups I've joined have lasted years and been good. That said I haven't been in a group in quite a while because I haven't been looking very hard (Generally too many time constraints with school and such). It does seem a general trend lately that groups of any kind that meet regularly have been dying off. My dad races (remote control) sail boats, and recently his group has dropped from 8ish regulars to about 3-4. People seem to be less and less willing to make a commitment and stick with it, less and less willing to keep their attention on one thing for an extended period. I think humans (or at least Americans) as a whole are getting more and more ADD as we're bombarded with more and more stimulation. Why would you commit to 8 hours a week of sitting around doing one thing, when you could spend that time sitting around doing 3 things?

[Wounded Ronin]

There was one group I ran with for years and things went wonderfully. It finally split due to simmering personality conflicts and since then I've never table top gamed again. Not that I've been trying hard to get back into it, as I'm finding myself really busy nowadays with shooting sports and exercise and fitness.

I guess I've transitioned from trying to be an action hero in a role playing game to trying to be an action hero in real life, and really putting the work in, such that it actually takes up most of my time.

[Street Prophet]

My real life group has been together for 13 years, in one form or another, but every game i join on the net, dies within a session or two. I have given up on the online thing for the moment, as I hate spending hours generating a character and putting their backstory together, just to have to file it away, to use as an NPC later.

[Yerameyahu]

We've kept the roughly the same group (same core, certainly) for over 10 years, but the games themselves are usually short. We jump around between many systems, and momentum is hard to keep up with so much real life around. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) We've done some online as well, about the same result.

[Street Prophet]

We've kept the roughly the same group (same core, certainly) for over 10 years, but the games themselves are usually short. We jump around between many systems, and momentum is hard to keep up with so much real life around. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) We've done some online as well, about the same result.

Yeah we do a bit of game jumping as well. First game we ever played, was a game called Battlelords of the 23rd Century, and we still play it even now. We have played Shadowrun, Earthdawn, Star Trek, Star Wars, AD&D, D&D 3.5, and so on.

New people join us, bring in new games, and the cycle continues.

[Yerameyahu]

You should try Heavy Gear, maybe Alternity… we have had very little luck with any WoD (old or new, including Exalted), though we've given most of them a try.

[Tiralee]

I'm lucky as the better half loves to rpg - (Ulgh, roleplay...I kiiid, I kiiid) and we do manage to pick up the odd waif here and there.

Skype's been good for us, we've got a player in WA (that's Western Australia, Yankees) that I seduced from the dark side (WoW) ~ 4 years ago and had 3-12 people in various groups and incarnations, for people from all over. (Note: For those in Lithunania, you're in dire need of some decent RPG stores.)

But as we grow older and, ha, more responsible, time seems to be slipping away more readily now.

-Tir

[Socinus]

My real life group has been together for 13 years, in one form or another, but every game i join on the net, dies within a session or two. I have given up on the online thing for the moment, as I hate spending hours generating a character and putting their backstory together, just to have to file it away, to use as an NPC later.

I have to say this is the most frustrating part. I get very into creating a character, I get excited to play them, I work everything out....and the game either dies before birth or dies after a couple of sessions. At that point you have to shelve the character or flush it entirely.

The idea of switching game systems with a group seems a little...weird to me. The steady D&D group I'm part of now is VERY set in D&D and they're very against changing the game. My Shadowrun group fell apart because we cant nail down a GM and I cant convince them to try another game.

[Street Prophet]

I have to say this is the most frustrating part. I get very into creating a character, I get excited to play them, I work everything out....and the game either dies before birth or dies after a couple of sessions. At that point you have to shelve the character or flush it entirely.

The idea of switching game systems with a group seems a little...weird to me. The steady D&D group I'm part of now is VERY set in D&D and they're very against changing the game. My Shadowrun group fell apart because we cant nail down a GM and I cant convince them to try another game.

The great thing about my gaming group is that each of us can run a game well. It's almost as if each of us decided to learn a game completely, whether or not the other members knew the system or not. So each of us has run a different system over the years. Our Shadowrun GM left the group awhile ago, and I seem to be the only one interested in it, which kinda sucks, and was the main reason I wanted to find an online game.

[deek]

Yeah, I'm in a long-term game group, so haven't experienced this issue in a long time. We are a group of 4-5 guys and we have had almost each of us run a game at some point in the past. For the past 4 or 5 years, we've only have two regular GMs. We meet every Monday after work and alternate between two campaigns. We used to do one game with one GM every week, but that led to burnout and helped balance it when one GM was busy, the other could pick up his game and the session would go on. We really try to play every week no matter what. With 5 guys, if 1 or 2 can't make it, we'll go on without them and another player will play their character. So, we have protection if someone gets busy (goes back to school, have work or personal issues, et cetera), if someone gets sick one week or even if the GM isn't ready or can't make it...the game goes on. And playing two games, right now VtR and Dark Sun 4e, the alternating schedule keeps everyone fresh and excited.

And the group enjoys playing different games. We've run SR4, DnD3.5/4, Deadlands, Heroes4 and sometimes we take a break and play cards or other board games for the night.

The online games I have played usually bog down after a few weeks. I've even taken one over for a few months to give the GM a break, but eventually, they all fall apart. You really need to get in the right group first and hope life doesn't reset too many people's priorities. I'm lucky in that right now as I have a family and kids and stable job and have incorporated my game night into the normal routine, as have at least 4 of the 5 of us in this group.

[Redjack]

My currently gaming group is 10+ players. We have had half a dozen others come and go over the last few years. We try to meet 2+ Saturday nights per month. We plan food as well as the game and we rotate GMs, planning ahead to the when and what we will play (Shadowrun, Stargate using Savage Worlds, T2k, Alternity, Earthdawn, CthulhuTech, Dreseden & Eclipse Phase being on the menu). Any given game will have 6+ players show and several of the players are second generation. Also, every adult that plays is either single or their spouse plays (mostly the latter).

I would say that the number one component to our stability has been that gaming is a social outlet for us: Food, drink & friends and it is scheduled. We communicate via email to confirm who is bringing what food and who will be coming. I know we are probably not the norm, but it has been a successful mix.

[deek]

I agree with ya, RedJack. Its a social outlet for us, too. This night is scheduled, so its a done deal. Meaning, something is going on unless there's a holiday that everyone is gone (in fact, the host has given us keys to his house on multiple occasions when he's been out of town on business so the rest of us could still gather and play).

Drink and friends are constant. I send out a text to everyone Monday morning letting them know that the game is on and which one we are playing. I get either "I'll be there", "I'll be running late" or "I can't make it" so we all know what to expect. Food is often fend for yourself, but once a month it seems that someone feeds the rest of us, which is always cool.

I think only two in our group is single. I've been married throughout. One was single, married, then divorced. Another was single and now married. Another married, divorced and now engaged. We don't let life interfere with our gaming:) We've had one girlfriend/spouse play, but that didn't last for longer than a couple months. As stereotypical as it might sound, we like our game night to be "the guys".

[nezumi]

When I had my first (and second) kid, I basically had to put tabletop away. I'm just now branching back into it. In the interim, it's been Dumpshock and RPoL. We actually have family in the area now, so we can get babysitting without chocking out $40. This 'having a life' thing is strange.

[Redjack]

People whose spouse also play tend to have the higher commitment (obviously); Their spouses being involved in the same things, we have three couples (both of whom play) have been married 15+ years. We also have 3 separate 2nd generation players as well (adult or teenage children of gamers). The younger kids all have their own social night while the adults game. It is really integral part of our personal lives.

[capt.pantsless]

If you want a stable-game and you're motivated to get it, start GM-ing one.

Be as open as possible to new people joining to counter-act existing people needing to bail. Don't give-up. Keep developing kick-ass adventures for your group to run through. Once you've got some stability, suggest that someone else take-up the GM-ing, and give them a few weeks to get something together, even if it's a different game. If no-one takes you up on that, keep trying.

The ideal thing is for the players to rotate GM-ing every 3-12 months or so, that keeps GM-burnout at bay, and keeps the games fresh and interesting. My usual gaming-group meets every week, but we trade-off weeks playing Pathfinder and my SR game. It works pretty well.

People whose spouse also play tend to have the higher commitment (obviously); Their spouses being involved in the same things, we have three couples (both of whom play) have been married 15+ years. We also have 3 separate 2nd generation players as well (adult or teenage children of gamers). The younger kids all have their own social night while the adults game. It is really integral part of our personal lives.

It's going to be interesting to see what happens with pen-and-paper RPG's in the future - since D&D was invented back in 1974 (or so) many of us are only the second generation of people to play them, and our kids are only the third - we're still trying to figure-out the social-norms for. Is the next generation going to adopt the in-person style of play, or is lure of immediate gratification in online RPGs going to suck away everyone?

[Bigity]

I got my wife to play WoW for a couple of years but tabletop gaming, especially SR just would never happen.

Mostly though, I don't TT game now because there isn't anyone here in Midland that seems to play RPGs, at all. Even the FLGS is all Pokemon/Magic stuff.

I'm moving to Lubbock soon though so I'm hoping a major university (Texas Tech) means more gamers. There is an Army National Guard base up there too I think so that helps as well.


I did get to play a few TT games here and there after marriage and kids, but I had resistance. It helped when she thought about it in different terms. Like instead of going out to the pool hall or pub with some guys (including single guys), I was going to over to our friend Tony's house with some other guys she also knew and we were going play a game at his house for 3-4 hours once a month or so.

I must say I think gaming around a table is also going to be more enjoyable than online, because 90 percent of what's fun is the people you play the game with. You can get a good fun group in an online setting, but it's rare and just isn't the same, IMO.

[deek]

Whether online or face-to-face, its always been about the people you play the game with. If you don't have some good friends that are interested in TT games or able to make new good friends that are interested in TT games, you're going to have a hard time playing in stable TT games. I just don't know anyway around that.

Its like playing pickup basketball. TT games are a team game and while you can get lucky now and again at finding a good game by just showing up someplace at the right time, unless you get in good with those guys, you're not going to get in a good game regularly. You can have the best sneakers and a good ball, but its the players that make the game.

[Socinus]

Where do people usually get into online games? I've never played an online Shadowrun game and I'm a little curious.

[hermit]

Well. Usually you hook up on a web forum, or know each other IRL and set up an irc channel or a chatroom or somesuch (is what my group did). It's also possible to lay by post (Dumpshock has such an area too, I think), but that's not everyone's cup of tea.

MUSHes are apparently rather popular among Americans, too, which is basically a private IRC server with an ASCII-ish text adventure feel and more rigidly defined environemnts (virtual rooms and whatnot).

[Bigity]

You are about 10-15 years too late for the heyday of the SR MUSHes though. Wish they were still around and busy like in the old days.

[hermit]

Never really played them, myself. Just noticed them and don't know any in my native German corner of the internet.

[Doc Chase]

You are about 10-15 years too late for the heyday of the SR MUSHes though. Wish they were still around and busy like in the old days.

There are still some, with varying degrees of success.

Just treat them as you would a tabletop game, with many more personality conflicts. Ah, the drama...

[Bigity]

Yes, many many more. Though I still keep in touch with a couple of my old MUSH buddies.