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> Class of '63, Never deal with a Dragon.
L.D
post Nov 25 2004, 11:50 PM
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Harlequin
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Not mine, but i really love it. :grinbig:


Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '63,

Never deal with a Dragon.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, avoiding Dragons would be it.

The long term dangers of associating with Dragons have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience...I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your tres chic clothing; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your clothes until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at wanted posters of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.

You're not as fast as you imagine.

Don't worry about the Awakened World; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to summon a spirit by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that are 2 metres tall and want to blind you on a Tuesday at 4am.

Do one thing everyday that scares the neighbors.

Shoot straight.

Don't be reckless with other people's heavy machine guns, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Conserve Ammo.

Keep up with SOTA; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind; the race is long, and in the end, it's what keeps you alive.

Remember the secret pay data you retrieve, forget the loused up runs; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old cyberdecks, throw away your old credsticks.

Stay Low.

Don't feel safe if you don't know what you want to do with that hot merchandise, the most wanted people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their illegal wares, some of the most dangerous 40 year olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of soykaf.

Be kind to your knees, they're expensive to replace.

Maybe you'll goblinize, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have HMHVV, maybe you won't, maybe you'll retire after 40 runs, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th ;what ever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either. Your survival is half chance, so is everybody else's.

Enjoy your Ares Predator, use it every way you can; don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own..

Deck, even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

RTFM, even if you don't understand it.

Do NOT read Slashnull, it will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when you'll need some extra cash from them.

Be afraid of your criminal record; it's the best link to your past and the thing most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that Johnsons come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the money.

Live in Seattle once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Chicago once, but leave before you get turned into a bug.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, the weirdness will increase, runners will sell out, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young the streets were normal, runners were noble and elves were trustworthy.

Never trust an elf.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a stolen bank account, maybe you have a wealthy Johnson; but you never know when either one might be eaten by insect spirits. Don't mess too much with your wired reflexes, or by the time they're 40, they will be out of warranty. Be careful whose BTL's you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it.

Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the Dragons.
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Kagetenshi
post Nov 25 2004, 11:55 PM
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Manus Celer Dei
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Live in Denver once, but leave before it makes you have a nervous breakdown.

~J
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L.D
post Nov 25 2004, 11:57 PM
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Harlequin
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:grinbig:
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jezryaldar
post Nov 26 2004, 01:06 AM
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Target
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:D
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Ol' Scratch
post Nov 26 2004, 04:03 AM
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Now that's creative! Give whoever did it kudos from me, L.D. :)
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Shockwave_IIc
post Nov 26 2004, 05:14 AM
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Shooting Target
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Very good. I like.
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Backgammon
post Nov 26 2004, 03:10 PM
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Ain Soph Aur
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Hehehe

Isn't that based of some song that went around a few yesr back.. some voice saying all this life advice in a monotone voice with a little background music?
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L.D
post Nov 26 2004, 04:13 PM
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Harlequin
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Yup. The song was: Wear Sunscreen and the lyrics are under the spoiler

[ Spoiler ]


Oh, and Baz Luhrman didn't actually write it. It was written by Mary Schmich from the Chicago Tribune
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Kagetenshi
post Nov 26 2004, 05:43 PM
Post #9


Manus Celer Dei
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Northern California? From what I hear from people who live there, that'll just make you bitter, not soft.

~J
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Thistledown
post Nov 27 2004, 08:03 AM
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Moving Target
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I remember this, it's been up on BKK for a year or two now. Still funny. Lots of other good stuff on that website. Love the stuff on monowire.
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