Hall of shame, The stupidity of Shadowrunners. Options

[Bastard]

As a GM and player, I have always found the best solution, instead of killing or arresting the character, just have something ridiculous happen to them, like having their boob cut off. :D (see above)

Another time and game...this time I was GM. Ive posted this one a couple times other places, but damn I find it funny

Cast:
-Darian Jacobs, Sammy loaded with skill wires and softs
-Jaruen's Tiger (No one ever knew his name, and he cant remember), Tiger shapeshifter/adept (it think, again long time ago, first or second edition)
-Slipstream, blind decker with combat paralysis
-Stinky Goat Nuts, aka Nutz, ork sammy
-Mikey, mikey (he was his own archetype)

In the mod run COD out of Shadows of the Underworld, the team had to acquire a box and were told not to open it. They were supposed to deliver it to Mr. Johnson when they are stoped by a man on their way to the meet. He says "Give me my egg!" Darian says, "Frag you, it aint yours now."

Behind the scenes, in the box is the Eastern Great Dragon, Masuru's, egg.

GM:Give me the egg!
Darian: "Frag off." ooc-I pull my Ruger Thunderbolt
GM: After pulling the pistol, the man reveals his true form, morphing into a great eastern dragon, right before your eyes.
Darian: I shoot him, do I get surprise attack since I already have my gun pulled while he is morphing?
GM: Its a great dragon!
Darian: Yeah but I get the first shot
Jaruen's Tiger: I dive behind a car across the street
Nutz: Me too
Slipstream: Im hiding behind a car on the other side of the street with my fingers in my ears years yelling "THIS ISNT HAPPENING!!! LALALA!!!"
Mikey: I watch
GM: do you say anything to the dragon, or to your partner with the gun aimed at him.
Mikey: Uh-uh, "haha do it!"
Darian: I shoot him
GM: A great fucking dragon! You shoot him!?
Darian: Yeah, haha, My guy is bad ass, Im gonna shoot im right in the eye (shaking all his dice in his hand with enthusiasm).
Team - Mikey: Dude, give him the egg, its a great dragon!
Mikey: Hehe do it
GM: So you are going to shoot a GREAT DRAGON with a PISTOL?
Darian: I have specialized skill giving me 8 dice, plus all my combat pool, and I have a smartlink and customized grip...
GM: Ok ass, roll..
Darian: (rolls something like 20 dice and starts picking out successes) One, two, three, haha, four, five, haha he is so dead, six....
GM: Are you done?
Darian: Haha dead dragon! 15 success (or something like that)!
GM: (sound of lots of dice rolling)
Team: Youre an idiot
Darian: Youll see
GM: No damage
Darian: Oh shit
GM: This aint dungeons and dumbasses
Team: You are so dead
Mikey: hehe-I watch
Darian: I know
GM: The great dragon, tired from his long flight, but slightly amused by your stupidity or bravery, doesnt cast any spells on you. Instead he open hand bitch slaps you...(sound of dice rolling) and you fly across the street landing on top of a car where your team smartly hid, shattering the windshield.
Mikey: hehe-that was cool
GM: You say that to the dragon?
Mikey: I say "Way to go" hehe, and gvie him the thumbs up.

I let the player survive burning all his karma he would have gained for that mission. Most of us were new to the system and didnt know how great a great dragon was, and cause it lead to this closing exchange:

Slipstream: "Is it over?"
Nutz: I look over the hood to see where the dragon went
GM: He is flying away, but your buddy Darian is laying on the hood and windshield of your cover. Hes bloody, but breathing.
Jaruen: "Way to go Dragon Slayer"

since then that character has been called "Dragon Slayer."

[Mortax]

:rotfl: :rotfl:

Never medle in the affairs of dragons for thou art crunchy and taste good with ketchup.


I think that was a good way to end that confentation. Great stupidity should be allowed to pass every now and again, a dead PC can't learn from its mistakes.

[Bastard]

Killing players never solves anything, plus they let me live when I blew myself up with my SA GL. That will be another hall of shame to follow. Looking back on it, we arent very bright.

[fistandantilus4....]

If that one isn't in the CLUEless files, it should be.

That's just awesome.

[DocMortand]

Well you know Stumps did start up a new CLUE files called SLEUTH Files...but they musta been moved somewheres because they don't exist any more. *sigh*

My own personal idiocy I think I have related in a previous variant of this thread. *shrug* It was the whole "inexperienced shaman trying to capture a berserk cyberzombie in a SMALL room with a blast spell at 3 meters" sorta thing. Because of that blunder my entire team ended up with cortex bombs. Half blew their brains out rather than give the corp the pleasure (me included), one guy decided to stick with his char come hell or high water. He was later nicked named "Ebola Boy" or "Captain Ebola" depending on how charitable we were feeling due to his screw up with a run involving Ebola Plus...

[fistandantilus4....]

How do you live through a run with a "screw up with a run involving Ebola Plus... "!?

[Janus Wayfarer]

Just a few answers to some questions about my run,

The liquor store was going to be run by a local gang, it would have been heavily fortified, and swarming with armed gangers.

My friend and I agreed that because he botched his crash test, something else had to go wrong, hence the seatbelt failing. Even the player agreed this was fair

The players were arrested by lonestar primarily because of them only being dressed in there underwear and for not having a sin, the ork also decided this would be a good time to badmouth the cops. the Decker was later released, having feigned being kidnapped by the ork, however the ork was tagged to the run they had just done, due to his face being caught on camera and the a grade corp passing this information on to the police

The two other members of the team, who had warned both of them about the stupidity of this, and had simply sat laughing through the whole debacle both agreed that it was fair.

[DocMortand]

[Bastard]

sorry...computer froze and double posted-that bastard

[Bastard]

The grenade incident,

Darian's PC was GM, so I guess this is payback for the dragon :D

Cast
Dweezle, me, sammy/face
Nutz, ork sammy
Wild card, decker
Mikey, he's just Mikey

I wasnt as stupid as the GM is a bad artist though.

We went to this small bar, supposed to find someone there or something, but of course its a set up or bar fight ensues, or somehow things turn for the worse. Its some bar out in Reddings thats falling apart, think of the Boars Nest from the Dukes of Hazard. Tables overturn and full auto fire lights up the room. Thankfully we were near the door, so...

Dweezle: "Get out, Im blowing the frag out this place" That is 30 meters to the other wall right?
GM: Yeah
Dweezle: Yall better get out cause my characters lobbing two grenades in here
Nutz: I dive for the door
GM: Atheletics
Nutz: (rolls) Damn! I fall out the door.
Wild Card: I run out the front door.
GM: Mikey?
Mikey: I watch
Dweezle: You had better get out
Mikey: Ok...I leave too
GM: Are you sure you want to fire a grenade in here?
Dweezle: yeah
GM: Ok where are you aiming?
Dweezle: Im bouncing them off the back wall, its semi auto so I can fire two.
GM: Ok roll
Dweezle: (rolls a few successes)
GM: Scatter
Dweezle: (a few successes dont help cause of high scatter for launchers, grenades end up near middle of room, as I planned, that should put me 15 meters away) I duck back down behind the table.
GM: You just blew yourself up. You have two grenades 5 meters away and that table only has a barrier rating of 4, plus backblast from the wall behind you.
Dweezle: should be 15 meters away, if the wall was 30 away.
GM: No its only 20
Dweezle: You said 30 meters away when I asked
GM: Dont remember that
Team: You did
GM: Oh that was from the door.
Dweezle: But I asked from me
GM: Ok, dont worry youll live
Dweezle: That sucks
GM: Boom. (lots of dice rolling)
Dweezle: (rolls ending with deadly wound-use Karma Pool to Live)
GM: The walls almost completely blow off the building. To everyone outside: You watch as Dweezle flies backwards out the front door, landing on the street. Alive, but barely
Nutz: Way to go "Shockwave"

So thats how Shockwave got his name :(

[Reason]

Not really a story of "boneheaded" things, but this is pretty funny.

I played a blind PhysAd. He was a samurai type, a la Zatoichi. Because of this, people called him Zato. We were on a mission where our mark was a member of a birdwatching club. So, of course, my character is one of the ones elected to infiltrate the group. They put him in outdoors gear, and gave him a pair of binoculars and a book on birds, then sent him on his merry way. He didn't have his cane sword, so he kept tripping over things, and naturally, he couldn't see any of the birds. After a while, he started making up names of birds and pointing up to show people, and they pretended to see the birds, too.

Another run involved posing as a group of contracting consultants. Once again, the group decided to put the blind man in another uncomfortable position. They made him the foreman of their group. So, they made him look like he was driving the van they took to the job site while the rigger was contolling the van from the back. When they pulled up to the site, poor Zato got out, and tripped over construction materials. He then made everyone suspicious by holding blueprints upside down, pointing at any particular spot on the blueprints, to show a detail, and used lots and lots of construction jargon that he didn't know the meaning of. I'm amazed that the team succeeded the run. I still wonder how we did it.

Then, of course, there's the rubix cube.

"Is this it?"
"No, Zato, keep trying."

[nezumi]

That last one definitely got me laughing. Very cute. Now I want to bring in a blind PC just to do rubik's cubes.

[JongWK]

Remember the Amazonian run in Harlequin?

Remember the sleeping barghest in the greenhouse?

Last Saturday, one of my players (a troll) decided he wanted to keep him as a pet. So, after stunning the "dog" (he and another runner failed to identify it) with gel rounds, they took it inside the escape airplane.

No one else identified it as a barghest. And we are talking about a team where everyone has at least Int 5 or 6. Re-roll with Karma? What for? ;)

Off they go in the plane, and a couple hours later, when approaching the Andes mountains, the barghest slowly awakens, confused and angry.

Troll: "I hold it strongly and intimidate it."

*rolls*

GM: "Ok, the 'dog' is obviously not happy, but so far it's keeping quiet."

Mage: "I cast Control Emotions to make him like the troll."

*miserably fails roll*

GM: "The barghest senses your mind attack, and lets out a long howl."
Mage: "... did you say barghest?"
GM: "Still thinking it was a good idea not to use Karma?"

*Group makes Willpower roll*

*Pilot and troll fail roll* :evil:


In the end, they killed the barghest and threw his body from the Cessna. The troll would have been next, but another runner managed to stabilize the plane before they decided to dump more cargo.


The troll has a goldfish now.

[Comrade Ogilvy]

[Aku]

[Calvin Hobbes]

Our team has been hired by Assim, a notable cat thief we've never met before. Our job is simple: he's hired us to guard his penthouse apartment from people looking to retrieve his most recent target: Action Comics #1

Vincent (me): Elven former Tir royalty razorboy and vampire fetishist saving up to get cyberfangs. Bit of a scavenging ghoul, stealing body parts off of kills for the cyber, and constantly moneygrubbing.
Seebo: Tech wiz Gnome. Makes a big deal about how he's a morally superior runner because he doesn't shoot
Leah: Former Fuchi mage assassin. Pretty fucked up on mood inhibitors and a life of sterile murder.
Doc "running claw" Holliday: Former Dakota rancher, whose arms were chopped off by Cree, who wanted his land to build a casino. Used his medical insurance to get Ares "Vengeance" model cyberarms.
John AdamsOrkish Face who has lived a life of privilege and surgery to deny his roots. Formerly a Johnson, but that went south on him.

So we're midway through the job when Vincent, catching some sleep in another room, is being bitten by a vampire. He starts screaming holy hell, Vincent wakes up, Vampire escapes through the vents. There's lots of yelling confusion, and Vincent decides to go get his pal, a vampire hunter.

Meanwhile, our mage susses out that Assim uses an illusion focus, and asks him if he's a vampire. He denies it, becoming annoyed with our 'tude, when suddenly, the carefully blacked out windows blow out. (We'd been told it was to keep people from looking in on us from neighboring buildings.)

Assim starts to smoke, saying "awkward". Seebo, disgusted and angered by our employer's unholy nature, starts to attack him with a stake. Everyone else steps back and just kind of watches. The player starts to get furious, telling people that the vampire's evil. We just kind of shrug and move to protect the vampire, and our face knocks poor Seebo into the ground, unconscious. Assim, who's never bitten someone who didn't want it, and never killed anyone, tries to get away from him.

Another Shadowrunning team's shown up, intent on blowing up the comic to raise the value of their employer's copy. Meanwhile, the entire group's been forced to deal with Seebo and the vampire, so we get our asses kicked: Vincent is hit by a deadly manaball, Assim is terrified of the sunlight so he hides in the vent system as well. Seebo is roused long enough to steal the comic and we escape. Adams manages to pull the job out of the ashes by negotiating the sale of the comic, and we walk away a bit happier.

After all's said and done, my character's hospitalization and equipment eats up a lot of our earnings, and we're all pretty ticked at Seebo, who maintains he did the right thing.

[Guest_MK Ultra_*]

One of the most famed pc´s in the group I gm was an ex-red army, ex-MET2000 russian communist hobgoblin rigger called Ivan Jossiv Kalturin (or Ivan for short). He was probably the pc played the longest in my champaigns. He keept ammusing and annoying everybody (especialy his player) with his Athletics-Incompetence (which brought him manny bruises and twisted ankels and slowed the group down to a crawl in climbing sessions, since they effectively had to pull him up with them) and a habit of getting himselve shot up pretty bad (which ate at least 50% of all the cash, he ever made). His masterpiece was the following.

He did some solo sidejobs for the vory in seattle, since he was short on money (he allways was (see above), thats probably why he wanted to share all the cash in the group commie-wise).
This one was simple. Go to a guys flat and cake him. C Naighbourhood, the guy was to be alone at home and quiet harmless.
As Ivan zeroes in, AR in hand, he kicks in the dore and spots 3 guys in a 2,5m x 3m room, coffytable full of automatic weapons in front of them.
He sprays them with a wild burst and than dodges thair answer and takes cover next to the apartmentdoor.
He pulls his MGL-6 and wants to blast them.
ME: "what granades have you loaded?"
HIM: "Standard, as allways, IPE-Offensive-Highexplosive!"
ME: "Ok, this is a Low-Lifstyle building the room is app. 2,5 x 3, You really want to use this stuff?" (I used optional explosives rules from FoF, rolling PN/2 dice to increase damage, and he knew this, thats why he liked granades)
HIM: "Sure, I´ve got cover! I´ll blast them with two granades!" (MGL-6 had SA-Mode, thats why he liked the MGL)
ME: "You really want to use two?"
HIM: "I want to kill them!"
So he pumps 2 IPE-O-HE-Granades into the flat and braces himselve against the wall...

I crunched some numbers, reflection and all.. He would clearly have been pulp, but I´m a softy, so I let him roll Bod, as his cover (Barierrating 6 or something) disintegrates.. He would clearly have been pulp, but you know.. so its the SR3 Hand of God, byebye Karma.. I tell him he´s got serious physical and stun damage and some stressdamage, too, and would eventually bleed to death (I think his Willpower crashed and his Ears were killed). Allso half of his equipmens was scrapmetal. He barely managed to get to his van and set his autopilote to drive him home. There he tried for some time to contact his Doc, but didn´t manage it, due to his wounds, eventually he got his Merc-Friend on the line and passes out.

She picked him up and drove him to the Doc, paying for him.

When he awakened, the Doc told him, he replaced the ears but had to remove one Kidney due to the damage. The player probbably still thinks the Doc took the kidney out for sale :P (It was really damaged beyond healing).

[Leah_Arkady]

This is less of an ultimate fuckup and more of a "why do we even TRY?" game...

Characters can be found in CalvinHobbes' last post - Leah, Doc, and Vincent.

We are, for lack of a better word, the gunbunnies. Got combat? We can help! But you know what we're not very good at? If you said "investigation", you'd be right...

So we have two leads from earlier runs that would be worth investigating. The first, "The Cat's Eye Gang", are a bunch of guys with cyber-eyes and razor claws that tried to nab a mob boss' barely-legal girlfriend. We saved her, and Vanelli has insinuated that there's a lot of money riding on finding out who these people are. So Doc and Vincent, resident cyber-dudes, decide to hit up local cyber-docs and find out who might order these sorts of things.

As the doctors are not Dakota Indians or vampires, they miserably fail.

Meanwhile, Leah is wandering around trying to find a "Hallowe'ener's" (read: lame-ass Toronto wannabe fans of the Hallowe'eners) hideout so that she can try out this keycard we lifted off of a wannabe's corpse. (Hey, even wannabes will pick up cool stuff sometimes, right?)

...this culminated in stealing some jerk's credstick. My day was complete with a Stealth check that failed (so he saw his credstick floating away in my hot little mage hands), after which he screamed and I made the SINGLE BEST ROLL I HAVE EVER MADE to run away. Seriously. I rolled a 25 to run away from some punk little Hallowe'ener wannabe.

We spent the rest of the session boozing and bitching about how Seebo and John (and their players) had ditched us and how lame we were.

It was the best day ever.

[Churl Beck]

For this mission, the runners had to hijack a Barghest from "Blackstone's Museum and Zoo of the Paranatural" in Snohomish. They intercepted the truck as it was delivering the Barghest to the zoo, but the firefight left the truck riddled with bullets and blood splattered all over the inside of the cab. They decided to leave the scene by stealing the truck.

Hardwire: "We have to get away from here. Let's drive north."
GM: Ok you drive north.
(a little while later)
GM: You can't drive north any more. There is a checkpoint up ahead. You realize you are at a naval shipyard.
Wind: I'm going to get out and try to talk these guys into letting us through. "Please, you have to let us through. We were ambushed and they're right behind us..."
GM: Roll for con.
Wind: (rolling dice)
NPC guards: "Who are you?"
Hardwire: [frustrated] "We don't have time for this!" I walk up and shoot the guards. (rolling dice)
GM: Success. Both of the guards lay bleeding and dying at your feet.
Hardware: Wait a minute. Where did you say we were again?
GM: A naval shipyard.
Hardware: "Crap, we're not even supposed to be here. Let's drive east."
GM: Ok you turn around and drive east.

I always vowed that the families of those two guards would seek revenge. Sadly, there was never an opportunity for it.

[fistandantilus4....]

Had a great time with a character mistake that escalated to unholy levels (well, they died, and as they were criminals, went to hell, so unholy. there ya go).

This was the first run in the BS module, at the cake walk run into the power plant substation. Baseball little league going on, plain clothes off duty cop. Three cars pull up at the substation. One's a Ferrari. One's a roadmaster with ablative armor . One's a bull dog step can. Out of hte ferrari steps a 'Night one' elf and a guy dresses as a ninja. A huge ork steps out of the roadmaster. A large human with an assault rifle on his shoulder gets out of the step van! They stand around talking for a minute (and hte ninja character steps out in his chameleon suit).

The off-duty cop makes a perception test ( I even gave him a -4 dice modifier - 4th edition) and he rolled way well. Sees this motley crew heading to the substation, and of course calls it in. So they're sitting there tossing people over the fence, when the Star shows up with three cars. The of duty guy comes up with his predator, and two of the cars block the parking lot exits, while a third comes in ffomr the other way.

I envisioned this park as on a hill, above surburbanite houses, and made a point of explaing this, and sketching out a quick map , showing the road aroudn the park, the parking lot, etc. So they get in to a quick gun battle with the Star. The ninja guy is a drake, and he transorms, after changing out of his stealth suit. Now he had done this w/ invisibility on to get in to the facility, and then started changing back in to his clothes. When the cops showed up, he had the pants on. So he was running around invisible from the waist down, bare chested from the waist up.

The ork is inside doing the decking, as he's a ex merc/rigger/part time decker.
The gun adept night elf, and the ninja-suited COVERT OPS SPECIALIST are shooting it out with the cops, and the guy with the assault rifle inside the substtion with the ork, watching him while he decks.

They take out the first couple of cops, and the ninja/drake calls his cars autopilot, which he left two bloxks away. It's a well armored, rhutheniumed westwind. So it's on it's way to help. As more cop cars starts showing up, the night elf and 'ninja' Cov Ops jump into the merx ablative-equipped Roadmaster. The cops drive at him, so he drives down the hill, rolls a ciritcal glitch on his driving test, and slides through a kiddy-pool, loses control, and slams through the sliding back door of a two story house in the suburbs. The ablative armor starts going off.

Everyone else uses it for a distraction. They jump in to the west wind, and the guy that was toting his assault rifle in the firggin park keys the CXII in his van, blowing it up . THey take off, ditching the two guys in the roadmaster (after the ninja gets his damn shirt on).

Back in the house, the two wayward runners start arguing , while the half collapsed house is burning, and smoke is coming in to the vehicle. They start trying windows, failing athletics tests miserably, and taknig damage from smoke inhalation. I gave them a few rounds before that started, but neither were buckled in, so they both took crash damage. Eventaully, htey managed to get out, with the help of a team mates ally spirit. By then, the cops had started surrounding the house. They came out the side, shooting, and running back up the hill. Ninja-CovOps guy was killed with a burst of shotgun fire to his back.

The Night ONe gunslinger adept sees two more cops at the back, and shoots the guns out of thier hands, aruns past. He gets to the top of the hill, wher one cop car is still at ,shoots their guns, and their knee caps. He then jumps into the cop ar and take soff. A few miles down the road, the other cops start chasing him. He then notices the plain clothes off duty cop, jsut waking up in the back of the car. One of the others had knocked him out, so the cops put him in the car to protect him.

The ally spirit is still with him, so he make a quick plan with it to drive the car off a free way over pass, and have the ally save him. Well, short story long , it didn't go so well, but he jumped clear of the car, and regenerated some of the damage (the night one is secretly a nosferatu w/ a sust spell focus for relieve allergy, which is balanced by the fact that most of the group has gone on vamp hunts before and hates vamps). But he lost his guns which were basically attuned items, and busted his one and only certified credstick with all of his money on it.

He got to a payphone, called for help (collect) to the rest of the team, and started crying when he realized he'd lsot his guns. Of course, the helpful ally spirits snagged a quick disposable camera from a nearby stuffer shack and took his picture, then posted it on Shadowland, then explained the whole story on the site. So this is my RL version of shaming the poor character. There's just something wrong with a night one Nosferatu crying becuase he lost his guns.