How about another quote thread? Options

[mmu1]

On request of one of my GMs, who claimed he'd put up all sorts of good stuff he saved from our runs if we only made a quote thread... Please help me to make sure he has no excuse for not posting. :P

To start if off, something that is not precisly a SR quote - but I bet most of us know at least one character like that... :

"I liked it better when she thought I was a murderer or a rapist. At least there's some dignity in that." - a character, after finding out that the mother of the girl he was going after decided he was just a bum after all.

[grendel]

From Saturday's game:

Jonathan (male human sniper):

"I'm good with a rifle and a knife. I don't do much thinking."

Saxon (male human mage) asking Morphine (female human mage) about her spells:

"Do you have powerball? Manaball? Stunball? Any kind of balls?"
"No, I have no balls."

[Angelone]

"What do you mean a Drop Bear ate your baby?" Thrash (our team leader) to Nitro (Rigger) after my mage got killed by a Drop Bear.

"You died AGAIN?"
"You die more than red shirts in Star Trek."
"Are you gonna tattoo a target on your next chars forehead" OOC banter about said mage.

"We are, MEN OF THE SEA" Stolen from Xenogears and said at every possible chance during our pirate campaign.

"Hey Angel, you should be the rigger so we don't have to keep dragging your corpse places." How I became the rigger.

[Lady Door]

A Mr. Johnson talking to my Texan rigger.
"Your country needs you."
"What's wrong with Texas!?!?!"

During the Harlequins Back run we got into a spell fight with the crone in the Arthurian setting. The crone throws a massive slay human spell at Frosty (Jane Foster). Of course the spell does nothing and while the crone is looking confused, Frosty looks at her and says:
"I'm an ELF, you slitch!" then promptly slammed her ass with a PowerBolt. It was great.

On a totally different topic, this happened in a D&D game and it's still one of my favorite quotes of all time. I had a beginning character who was just beginning to go up in levels and thinking she's a bad ass. So, of course my DM pits her against a DeathKnight. She throws a Power Word Kill (which at that point is her most powerful spell) at him and this is the conversation after.
DM: He flinches.
Me: He flinches?!?! What do you mean HE FLINCHES!?!? *Then there is lots of running away*

[Slacker]

Ok, here's something that happened a while ago and it was the players first or second time playing SR.

Corporate suit type ambushes the runners with a bunch of street toughs. The team is making short work of the toughs and the suit runs. The newbie player is fast and gives chase.

GM: The suit runs around the corner of the building and into an alley.
Newb: I run after him
GM:You make it around the corner just in time to see the guy flying away on the back of a...dragon!
Newb: Yeah right, that ain't in the f#$*ing game.
GM flips through some printed pages of the adventure, picks one up and turns it around so everybody can see the picture of a dragon flying out of an alley, the rest of the group with 'oh shit' looks on their faces.
Newb: FINE! I let loose on it with my assault rifle
Group: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

The group was able to convince him not to do it though. Later in the adventure the dragon again came to the corp execs aid. This time there was no talking the newb out of it. He failed miserably with full-auto and died very quickly once the dragon got annoyed with him.

[Cynic project]

"Work hard?Why should I?" Talking to a Johnson that wanted him to do way to much work for way too little pay.

"I see you got your peise out. Now say you pease and get out." Never point a gun at someone who doesn't fear death. A PC was trying to strong arm different Days before he learned that different Days long ago stoped fearing guns. He had other thing to worry about.

"Just put the needle in it." A experimental drug that wasn't proven safe for magically active people.

"You are a beautiful mistake and I am here to corerect it." Him talking to Free Loa spirit who was tormenting people with lust...

"I'm not going to kill you because I hate what you have become.I am going to kill you because I loved what you once were." Him talking to long time team mate who was now a Banchee.

Diffrent days.

[Taran]

I should never have admitted to the quote file's existance. Since I did, here's a collection, all taken from conversations between the team and the people paying them:

"Think anyone is going to care about your reputation for professionalism after they see the pictures on Shadowland of you with your own dick in your mouth? I bet 'well, at least he died like a professional' is going to be the first thing to come to their minds."
-- James Quentin Blake

"Twenty-six stab wounds, a hundred rounds of MMG ammo, and some blowtorching. Oh, and the tire marks. Suicide in style."
-- Alex

Kagetenshi: How quickly can I look up the Russian for "is that all there was to it?"?
Taran: ~4 minutes
Kagetenshi: Eesh, that long?
CirclMastr: (You can try UCASFish, but you'll end up saying "Is that quantity of sperm freely inserted?" and look stupid)

"It would not promote goodwill to strip the Johnson naked."
-- Alex

"Don't worry, Doc Wagon has statistics on this - you actually have a very good chance of staying alive during one of these things. I guess it depends on how you view advanced resuscitation, but the basic point stands..."
-- James Quentin Blake

"Hmm... I guess I lost the bet, then. You really do seem to think we were going to let you run off to violate university ethical standards without paying us."
-- James Quentin Blake

They got paid every single time, though.

[Kagetenshi]

We like to stay on good terms with our employers. After a little persuasion, they usually feel the same way :cyber:

~J

[SpasticTeapot]

"Well, it's time to decide what gun for you to buy. Wait, I mean car."
-Me, while helping a guy create his street samurai.

"You know, I'm just going to rule that you cut the sorry b****** in half."
-Me, after the group's troll Street Samurai scored nine successes on his roll with a No-Dachi. (A Nodachi is like a katana, but over six feet long and very, very heavy.)

"I pretend I'm a mafia lord".
"The clerk giggles."
"What do you mean? I've got a 4 in Fast Talk and a Charisma of 6."
"You're a freakin' cyber-modified cat-guy simaraculum."
"So?"
A conversation between me and one of my players when he tried to bluff a secretary into letting him have some plans for an electronic device.

[pragma]

"All the doors are blocked with onions!"

-The best defense strategy the team could come up with

[SpasticTeapot]

[pragma]

I'm honored.

[cykotek]

During a weird ED/SR crossover, we were surrounded by what were effectively stone golems demanding artisan checks (to prove we weren't horror-marked). Only one character had figured out what to do, and he told us what to do.

"Quick, do something creative. Prove that you're dreamers and shapers, not unmakers and destroyers!"

The assassin turns to the bloodthirsty, katana-wielding adept. "Well, shit."

[tisoz]

Player upon realizing his Charisma 5 ork is the lowest charisma player in the group: "We're in the wrong business. We should start a used car lot."

[Johnnycache]

"A Goat"

--Line item on an equipment request between my mage and a Johnson.

[Kagetenshi]

"If that'd require me to observe in detail, I'll just shoot something."

-Overheard while party is in Chicago on August 22, 2055.

~J

[Nyxll]

Brad's player was attacking me because I had a spirit possessing my body.

"How many successes do I need to kill him?" -Brad
"He resisted your attack, with 4 extra dice so 12." - GM
"I buy them from my Karma pool, nothing personal Rick." -Brad
"You are BUYING 12 successes to kill a fellow player, and think it is not personal?" - GM


"Hmmm ... how many floors are we up?" - Blake
"You are 6 floors. with an average of 3 meters per floor" - GM
"Ok... I want to see if I can survive this, I jump out the window." - Blake
"Start rolling, resist 18D" -GM


"Just for fun, lets stick some nuts and bolts into the C4" - Brad

[ShadowDragon8685]

Kagentoshi: Anyway. You stand before the obelisk.
It has nothing to do with Nod, and is not the Obelisk of Light.

ShadowDragon8685: okay, I'll pitch Scanner, and go for Read/Write. While I'm at it, at lack for nothing better to do, I'm going to Analyze my own icon.
Kage: Hehehe
ShadowDragon8685: What's my TN?
Kage: 2
ShadowDragon8685: 8 successes.
Kage: You find out about yourself. You have achieved enlightenment and self-realization.

[Edward]

[Sicarius]

"Now...just how big an ol' troll are ya?"

Ex-CAS Intelligence Operative Nicknamed "FogHorn" over the phone to a Troll fixer to whom he owed money...

[Slump]

The runners needed some drugs (like novacoke and the like) because they were hired to not just steal data, but discredit the security company. They decided the best way to do that was to get the guards very, very high, bring in a joygirl or twelve, and just walk in while the guards are otherwise distracted (stoping the camera loops in time for the guards to be seen partying hard).

"Where are we gonna get some drugs? We don't have much money left."
"Well, I bet we could get some off of a dead hooker."
"But where are we gonna find a dead hooker?"
"We could make one."


============

My friend was having some trouble getting used to the whole idea behind shadowrun. It was an intro run so we could all get used to the system a bit. We hired to steal a prototype of the latest model of personal radio. It wasn't a high profile run, the crate was just in the shipping warehouse of 2060's version of FedEx, so the just had to break in, find it, and take it.

"So we're stealing the crate back?"
"Who said anything about back?!"

[Mace]

Mercenary and ork razorboy whilst the two of them are crouched behind sniper rifles to pick off those making it out of the carnage as the target building is surrounded by and being pounded into powder by a swarm of nine Force 9 greater earth elementals while a couple drones hose out windows at random with machine gun fire.

Merc: "Ok - we better clean up that mess we made in the back of his limo when we were cleaning our guns..."

Ork: "Uh...yeah. How do we get the bloodstains out of his carpet though?"

Merc: "Bloodstains?"

Ork: "Yea...the body of the guy you killed and you asked me to get rid of? Well, his car was blockin mine in so I sorta borrowed his."

Merc: "Uhrm..." "Is he looking this way?"

Ork: *glance* - "Nope - he's watchin the elementals.."

Merc: "Right then - hand me that LAW tube. If his car takes a stray...."

Ork: :shock: "..." "Stray? They ain't shooting back they're runnin or dyin. Think harder fool..."


-------

As the GM I know the above is obscene - but after a long campaign spanning nearly three years of once a week- Grade 4 initiate with Conjuring skill of 9 and a Force 8 focus ((self crafted - it cost him time and karma but eeewww...)) - we came to an understanding after he ran into the LS mage cop with Spiritblast though. :evil:
It's most definitly only for 'special' occassions now - last week qualified.

[Edward]

Summoning force 9 great forms is impressive. You only get the extra dice for the focus once. You have to soak serious drain twice, at an impressive TN and you have to make 2 conjuring tests one TN 9 and you want lots of successes, one TN 18-grade (I assume at least 3) but you only need one success. Worse if you don’t soke the drain the thing has a gugh probability of going mad and killing you.

Short of being initiate grade 6+ I cant come up with a way to pull it off with reliability.

At least as a hermetic he doesn’t need to worry about doing them all at once, they can be stored up ahead of time

Edward

[weblife]

You actually just need to avoid going unconscious.

Then you rest. TN2+wound modifier pr. box, -2 for fast healer, base time 60 minutes, 30 with Symbiotes. You will be ready to summon the next one pretty fast, and he lasts minimum 12 hours if you do it at morning as a Shaman.

Knowing you will be hitting a hard target, you'd spend 3-4 hours summoning your army and resting, then doing the run.

[Mace]

There appears to be interest so I'll add a couple points in response to above.

As noted in my original post he's a G4 initiate, with a Rating 8 Conjuring Focus and a conjuring skill of 9.

The parts not mentioned - he's an elf with a charisma of 9 who's earth aspected and has a trauma damp implant. The drain on the summoning because he spent the gobs of karma for that extra point of charisma in an M.

First summoning - Target number 9.
Drain check - Target number 9.

I've seen him fail to gain at least two successes on that drain check twice that I can remember. It doesn't happen often. Even when he doesn't garner any successes on the drain check, the damper kicks the drain down one level as he's only on two boxes of stun damage, not three.

Second Conjuring roll - Target number 14.
Second Drain roll - TN 14.

Now he frequently blows these checks - resulting in an uncontrolled non great form elemental and/or 3 boxes of stun damage.

The second conjuring roll is where he kicks in his foci dice and the two bonus dice for being an earth aspect which he puts towards the Conjuring roll. He fails to roll a 14 with some frequency even rolling 19 dice but it's not really a risk given he has backup standing nearby - a physical adept bladesman with a weapon foci the mage in question crafted for him of rating 5 and another spellcaster with Spiritbolt 6 and a Sorcery 8. Add in him throwing his own spiritbolt even if drained...

Even completely blowing both drain rolls, he's on 4 boxes of stun...and next day *only ONE 9 hour ritual per 24 hours dammit* rinse/lather/repeat until he has his stable full up.

He made some issue about it being two seperate rolls but I said not in my game son and he never mentioned it again. Even with only getting the bonus dice one time round - his success rate isn't shabby.

The biggest issue with this tactic is the obscene expense - he has a talismonger contact and enchants his own materials a lot - buying refined minerals isn't too bad and it generally only takes him a couple days worth of work to make sufficient materials to get busy with...

I let him get rambunctious with this tactic a couple of times - then dropped an LS cop with a Force 8 Spiritblast, Power Focus and attitude on his ass. Since then he's been more circumspect/selective, only dragging it out if he really don't give a damn, he's taking this sucker out.