Help - Search - Members - Calendar
Full Version: Stupid lines NOT to say in Shadowrun?
Dumpshock Forums > Discussion > Shadowrun
Pages: 1, 2, 3
ShadowDragon8685
I'm hoping for some really stupid lines, along the vein of "Don't worry. We have Mr. Johnson in the trunk." But I thought of a really good one, and wanted to see what other ones people had.


What NOT to say to Lone Star (unless you happen to be Neo):
"If you reach for those guns, you're all going down line of duty. I'm done here."
Gerald Fitzgerald
Once, when me and my friends were captured by Renraku security and detained in one of their offices, my friend called upon his Earth elementals to come into the room. He attempted to do it discreetly so that the guards wouldn't know it was him calling them.

I didn't know what he was thinking, so I asked him "Why are you bringing your elementals in here!?"

The guards turned from the elementals to him as he immediately got pissed at me for saying anything. The proceeded to stun his ass with stun batons untill he was drooling all over the floor. He was out cold before he was able to issue any commands to his elementals, so they all went free and started killing everything. (He was well known for being a dick to his elementals.)

I managed to slip out of the room as the elementals caused all sorts of havok. When he woke up he had pissed 'em and pooped 'em and lost a magic point. rotfl.gif

Another time, when two of my friends were on the Zurich Orbital in a hallway with some scientist, one friend said to the other "you brought the guns, right?" The first friend sighed and had to "eliminate" the bystander so he wouldn't notify security.
fourstring_samurai
something you probably shouldn't say to an overly chromed out combat monster street sam:

"hi."






Demon_Bob
Line by a player in a Shadowrun one-shot Convention Game playing a mercenary, "I'm to important to die."
eidolon
This one's actually from a game I ran late last year. This line still comes up.

Shortened, bare bones version of the back story:
The Yaks were sending the runners after one of the Triad factions in the guise of one of the other Triad factions. The hope being that an internal Triad war would take them out of the game for a while. So, an elaborate set up was done to make sure the characters would "figure out" that they were being hired by Triad faction 1 to hit Triad faction 2. This goes swimmingly. After a bit of digging, they manage to link their Johnson to Triad faction 1 and buy it HL&S.

The run begins. They head to Chinatown to take care of the small scale drug lab operation being run by Triad faction 2. It is supposed to be done "quietly".

One runner dies, the mage Novas half of the building into nothing fighting a Triad ancestor spirit, almost passes out from the drain. They haul hoop back to the parking garage that their getaway car is in, with Triad faction 2 goons in tow. They manage to give the goons the slip and make it back to the garage. Now, the other mage had been having some trouble with some goon wanna-bes while he was guarding the car. This trouble stopped with armed, half-crazed loonies come running in screaming to start the car. The wanna-be harassing the mage (whom they've made the perception and appropriate knowledge skill roll to discern is Triad faction 2) goes "What the hell happened?" The Nova-tossing mage turns to him, shoves a handful of corp scrip in his hands, and yells at him:

"Tell them the Yaks did it!"
Sahandrian
The werewolf, known for constantly speaking at max volume, in the middle of a bar: "And THAT'S why I don't tell people I'm a shifter!"
Liper
to lonestar "no you spread em"
Glyph
Mr. Johnson: "So, what exactly is your group's specialty?"

Face: "We fight for truth and justice, and defend against evil!"
Clyde
"We always plan too much. Let's just go in there."
PoorHobo
QUOTE
"We always plan too much. Let's just go in there."


Guilty.

Also said, but not by me. "Don't worry he's not really going to shoot."
Gerald Fitzgerald
"He's blind! As far as he knows I'm shoving a dick in his face!"

-Character with a gun in the blind man's face.

"Uh, he's blind. Not deaf."

-Other character
Slump
"Where are we going to find a dead hooker?"
"Well, we could make one..."

They were trying to find a quick source of illegal drugs (none had the appropriate contacts at the point), so they decided you could probably find some on a dead hooker.
FrankTrollman
The players had just returned from a gruelling couple of weeks on the run in another country. One of them turned to the other.

"Didn't we have a hostage in your garage?"

"Uh... I think we now have a body in my garage."

-Frank
Shrike30
"Check THIS out." - Famous last words of a demolitions specialist.
pragma
After a combat adept is left in charge of planning one component of a run:

"Alright, we need a rape victim" (looks at only female member of team)
Calvin Hobbes
"I won't run with you guys if you're going to kill anybody."

"Well, then, tell you what: we won't kill anyone trying to kill you. Lead by example."
Oracle
Ork-Streetsam to a corporate guard aiming a gun at him:

"Don't shoot! We are not the gangers you are looking for! We are shadowrunners!"

To a Great Dragon:

"Frag off! Filthy lizard!"
Adarael
Some of the gems from my most recent plot arc, which is a Metal Gear Solid / James Bond style game. Mixed spy vs spy and 'Go to place X without any support, and do crazy shit without being caught.'

1) "Come on, the system can't be that bad..." Said by Matyr, the decker, why exploring the closed system in a biowarfare black lab.

2) Martyr: "So, what is it you do best?"
The Millipede: "I make wine."
Martyr: "You make wine?"
The Millipede: "Oui."
Martyr: "That's not exactly what I meant."
The Millipede:"...out of people."

The Millipede is a French GIGN close combat adept, whose weapon of choice is an axe. He also happens to be a troll.

3) The Black Widow: "Why are we doing so much planning? Let's just do the job."

The Black Widow is marginally the 'face', in that she's known for seducing men, poisoning them, and stealing all of their goodies.

4) Hammer: "Telling me 'we probably shouldn't shoot that man' won't make me not shoot him. You have to be explicit. Tell me, "Don't shoot that man."

Said shortly after mowing down a room full of guards on a stealth infiltration mission. Hammer is, as one might expect, the street sam.

5) The Millipede: "I can't believe we just spent an entire week planning a mission that ended with a man shitting himself unconscious."
Oracle
Guy sitting at the controls of a helicopter:

"Damn. Never did that before."
Birdy
Anything involving the words/phrases:

+ Oops

+ The black or the red one

+ Campers

+ With all due respect

+ Plan B

+ Crazy Harry

+ Simply


is baaad! Really baaad!
Bullet Raven
"Don't worry guys! I can fly the helicopter!"

"Hmm... maybe we should have bought a car, ah well I'll conceal my rocket launcher and ride the bus!"

"Yes of course I'd like to buy some of your tablets, how much?"
Drace
From a run a few months ago.

Adept(with no demolition skill): C-4 comes in bulk!!!!
hyzmarca
"Eat me."
The Stainless Steel Rat
"I just mixed-up about 15 kilos of homemade plastique in the mop sink"
BetaFlame
Interest Knowledge Skill: 20th Century Sci-Fi.

My captured hermetic mage (only hermetic I ever made) that had surgery done to "unmage" him.

"<character waves hand at a guard> I am -not- the mage you are looking for."

"What the hell are you talking about, asshole?"

"I'm Obi-fucking-WAn Kenobi, asshat! SUCK LIGHTNING BOLT!... oh, damn."

The guy went a little insane after the surgery.
PlatonicPimp
So the team is meeting an eco-dropout who is going to give them a ride to the compund, because it happens to be over the target of theri run. The runners have just gotten away from a shootout between them, another runner team after the same goal, and MET 2000, but just barely. This eco-nut is a friend of a firend of a friend, so they have never met, and the eco-colony is a peaceful one, not a terrorist camp.

The street sam still has his guns drawn, and is constantly making perception checks to see if they are being followed.

Eco-nut to party face: "Um, can you ask your friend there to put his gun away? They aren't allowed in the camp, and he's klnda scaring me."

Street Sam: "No, No. It's OK. I have my gun out because they're after us."

The mage had to cast control emotions on the eco-nut in order to calm her down enough so that she would still take them up the mountain.


Same street sam, earlier in the game

Store clerk, talking to the adept: "I'm sorry, our matrix connection is down. We're using cash. there's a bank down the street that can convert for you..."

Adept: " Ok, I'll go get some cash"

Street sam (Pulls out gun) "So, how much can I get with this gun?"

He claims he meant in trade, but the store clerk certainly didn't take it that way. They had to leave that town fast.
SL James
That's a pretty good coupon
ShadowDragon8685
Mwahahaahaaaaah!
Kyoto Kid
Q: Anybody know how to [insert appropriate task here]?

A: I got [insert skill name here] on a chip...
Calvin Hobbes
"You're so full of skillwires and chipjacks, you can't even fragging MOVE without chipping 'walking'!"
DocMortand
QUOTE (fourstring_samurai)
something you probably shouldn't say to an overly chromed out combat monster street sam:

"hi."

ROFL! That happened in my campaign in the Arcology Shutdown time...I brought a new player into the campaign, with a new char - he said "Hello" and the combat monster troll freaked and cleaved him in two with a claymore.

Needless to say, I just said "Okay, your identical twin brother IN EVERY way is also in this maze, and his brother is missing." and restarted the char. Lost the player, eventually...but that wasn't why. smile.gif

It's gotten into quite the joke since then...
DocMortand
Another joke which a runner of mine has gotten into the habit of doing is whenever I ask him for a knowledge skill that might apply, he looks at his list, then dryly says "Intrusion/Counter Intrusion?"

This to such varied topics as pornography (makes sense), the mafia (...maybe?), and driving a boat.
Gerald Fitzgerald
"It says right in the rulebook that people are only racist like orcs and trolls, not black and white, so he had no reason to get pissed cuz I kept calling him 'slopey'."
The Stainless Steel Rat
OOC:

"I came up with some handy new skillz! Check it:
  • Formulate Plan
  • Execute Plan
  • BadAssery
Also Badassery is a complimentary skill to Execute PlanEVERYTHING."
Mr Cjelli
Meatball the combat face to Hennrick the obeyifa, driving along in a sedan after a succsessful kidnapping with two hostages in the backseat:

"Man, I'm hungry. Takeout?"
nezumi
QUOTE (The Stainless Steel Rat)
Also Badassery is a complimentary skill to Execute PlanEVERYTHING."

One has to ask... Is the skill applied to everything? Or to executing everything? Either one would be very useful.
The Stainless Steel Rat
Originally the idea was to only have two skills: Formulate Plan and Execute Plan. These two skills could e appied to anything under the sun. Then I thought that it would get a little stale only rolling two skills, so I added some flavor by doing everything with a touch of Bad Assery.

Obviously, If one is Bad Ass enough, then you can do ANYTHING like a bad ass. Hence: Bad Assery is a complimentary skill to EVERYTHING
Kyoto Kid
QUOTE (Mr Cjelli)
Meatball the combat face to Hennrick the obeyifa, driving along in a sedan after a succsessful kidnapping with two hostages in the backseat:

"Man, I'm hungry.  Takeout?"

Must have been his Suprathyroid talking.
DocMortand
QUOTE (Kyoto Kid)
QUOTE (Mr Cjelli)
Meatball the combat face to Hennrick the obeyifa, driving along in a sedan after a succsessful kidnapping with two hostages in the backseat:

"Man, I'm hungry.  Takeout?"

Must have been his Suprathyroid talking.

Yeah, we have a troll with suprathyroid plus digestive expansion...so we joke that he gets hungry when passing a clump of trees.
Foreigner
Quick question (and, once again, I apologize for the brief off-topic excursion):

Were the hostages the "take-out" to which the combat face was referring?

(Man, the trouble that a guy has to go to in order to avoid ending a sentence with a preposition. )

eek.gif

--Foreigner
kevyn668
(during a hasty "Plan B" discussion of tasks)

Sam 1 to Mage: "Okay, you take care of the leader. We'll handle the minions."

Sam 2 to Sam 1: "How do you know there's gonna be minions?"

Sam 1 to Sam 2: "There's ALWAYS minions."
Mr Cjelli
QUOTE (Foreigner)
Quick question (and, once again, I apologize for the brief off-topic excursion):

Were the hostages the "take-out" to which the combat face was referring?

(Man, the trouble that a guy has to go to in order to avoid ending a sentence with a preposition. )

eek.gif

--Foreigner

Hennrick assumed Meatball meant a soy burger. After some eye rolling, nothing was eaten until we brought the hostages to our safe house.
Lindt
"No Chuck, we cant kill all the mexicans. The mafia are doing it"
Drace
QUOTE (DocMortand)
Needless to say, I just said "Okay, your identical twin brother IN EVERY way is also in this maze, and his brother is missing." and restarted the char.

I'm pretty sure that most games have had newbs end up with twin brother characters like that.
Kyoto Kid
QUOTE (fourstring_samurai)
something you probably shouldn't say to an overly chromed out combat monster street sam:

"hi."

hey, Leela did this all the time, & she's still around. Must be something to do with that high Charisma & looking like a 12 year old girl.
TheHappyAnarchist
This is more from players than characters.

"Sure, you can write up my background info"

or worse

"I am taking the amnesia flaw"

Snow_Fox
Phrases that have been followed by alot of trouble/lauging;

Didn't we have a car waiting?

Gimme all the C-12 you got.

We'll be safe hiding in the barrens

and on one occassion, after the sammie had opened fire with an smg of ap rounds. He rolled five '1's but before the GM could announce the results-"Let me tell you why I didn't want to you load ap's for a run in an underwater base."
FrostyNSO
QUOTE (DocMortand)
Another joke which a runner of mine has gotten into the habit of doing is whenever I ask him for a knowledge skill that might apply, he looks at his list, then dryly says "Intrusion/Counter Intrusion?"

This to such varied topics as pornography (makes sense), the mafia (...maybe?), and driving a boat.

Ha! We have a player in te group who does the same thing with "Japanese Culture".

But anyways, heres one my players seem to say a lot:

"Now what?"

They're sooooo good at coming up with plans to get in and do the job, but seem to always forget to plan the extraction ahead of time. Usually followed by a call to their well-paid Rigger contact:

"So Heeeeyy, what are you up to right now?"
Snow_Fox
we actually have various "cultures" as knowledge skills so that poerson can better interact with a particular group without committing social faux paux and knowing who or what to approach.
Mordrid Soud
" Wow, who knew I had so much blood in me?"
" Oooh, a pretty red button!" -says right before he pushes it.
" That's Cheating!!!"
"Who knew I was so good at catching bullets?"

This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.
Dumpshock Forums © 2001-2012