Ok, this thread is for anyone who has a singular concept for the Screenplay project that does not pertain to the central plot.

This includes:

Ideas for badass characters

Concepts for a single scene you think would be "cool"

Clever dialogue snippets

Basically, anything that is out of context in the other thread may be posted here for later consideration.

A random rigger contact who floats in a vat that the Yakuza maintains. His body will be atrophied and be a stark contrast to the huge amount of cyberware in his brain. He'll constantly be in VR and he'll interact with the outside world through the use of drones. He'll get paid with random pieces of technology and give out finished works of martial art.

(A Johnson asks the team to carry out an extremely risky run.)

Johnson: (placidly) So, do you accept?

(The team members are clearly irked by this offer.)

St. Sammy: (gets up from his seat and says, with angry sarcasm) Yeah. Sure. We'll do that. And then afterwards, I will go up to the Great Dragon Lofwyr, and I will punch him! In the snout! Yeah! And then, I'll just run away, giggling like some little fraggin' schoolgirl! (rounding on Johnson, dropping the sarcasm) Hell no we don't accept! Frag you!

Face: Yeah, sorry, Johnson, but no dice. (The team members all start getting up to leave, while the face shakes his head in amazement and says to nobody in particular) Must think we're crazy, asking us to take on a run like that. . . .

Johnson: (without missing a beat) My associates and I are prepared to offer you [insert incredibly exorbitant sum here].

(Upon hearing the sum, the team members each pause to consider it. One by one, their faces light up; perhaps one or two of them let out delighted exclamations such as "Wow!" or "Hot Damn!" The face sits back down and says to Johnson)

Face: Then again, money does tend to make people a little crazy. . .it's a deal.


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As a side note, I definitely think that the phrase "no dice" should be worked into the script somewhere.

NO FUCKING BUZZWORDS GRRR!!!

Also, the face should say something like "Well, I guess we could use those wads of cash as armor..."

emo, I don't think you're getting the idea of this thread. Buzzwords sell. Cliches sell. If you want a movie without those, this is not the thread for you.

But aren't we trying to create a movie that WE'D want to watch? I thought that was the point of this. I wouldn't watch this movie if you put those buzzwords everywhere; I'd relegate it to the status of Dracula 3000. And did anyone like the Elektra movie? Every comic fan I asked was offended by the quality of that movie; I'm surprised and ashamed that there isn't the same sort of mentality here. And the Marvel Universe is WAY cheesier than the SR one. The fact that you're settling for less and even bothering to make a movie that sucks is incredibly defeatist.

Emo, how do you know what my face that I came up with would do?

And what exactly were the "buzzwords" in my dialogue?

"Hot Damn!" "No Dice." Don't have them rely on buzzwords; clever verbosity is good. Instead of "No Dice," have him say something like "I'm not really in the business of getting killed." And don't have him say "Money does make you crazy..." It's not clever enough, and it doesn't outright say anything truly absurd.

I'd like troll who calls himself Krom the Impaler; he could be used as a villain or a hero. He wishes for nothing more than to wade through a crowd of lesser beings and impale their leader on his foot-long cyberspurs. I'm thinking villain; he would be awesome.

Also, I think the end should involve the runners pulling out the big guns. As in, the bigass chopper in the back that the party's crotchety ex-military rigger never uses. They'll pull off the tarp and BOOM there'll be a bigass chopper. And did I mention we should have a crotchety ex-military rigger? He would rock so hard, his mom's head would explode even if she was in space even though there's no air to transmit the sound.

I would define "Hot Damn!" and "no dice" as clichés. To me, buzzwords are "words that dumb people use to sound important" (Hooray for The Simpsons!), such as "paradigm" and "utilize" and "proactive." But then again, I get wrapped up in semantics pretty easily.

I'll also admit that I'm a little ashamed of that "money makes you crazy" line: I wrote myself into a corner and that was the most clever way out that I could think of. If you can come up with a better scene-ending line, more power to you.

Do you think mine was better, or was it forced?

Writing dialogue at all is probably futile at this point, or at least wheel spinning.

Emo, the more posts of yours I read, the more learning disabilities I think you were born with...

Given a choice between the two lines of "no dice" and "I'm not in the business of getting killed" I'd take "no dice". Why? You used 7 words and a contraction to do what she did in two. I can take that they are not clever, but most people are not clever. In the end, neither line is very good and would have to be re-written anyway

Since when was brevity the primary virtue of writing? And it doesn't matter if most people aren't clever; this is a movie. If it was about most people, it wouldn't be about shadowrunners. In fact, it wouldn't be sold or filmed, because people don't really like to watch what happens to most people. And he's a face; most faces are clever, if we're going to get into averages.

I only think that because you argue things to fine granularity and cry out for us to listen to you, but you don't seem to have the wherewithal to just IM me again and actually convince me. Maybe I was mean, but you have a giant button on your forehead for stuff like that and it just say "Press".

Perhpas a peacable solution would be for you to start a "fan movie" thread. It is certainly a more realistic goal than an actual A movie. The only reason why they don't have an official FanPro sponsorted Fan Film Fest is because there are no American SR fan films (Germans on the other freakin crankem out)

Oh, then keep it.

Woohoo! You sniped from the peanut gallery! You are so badass! Let's all get on different sides of a chalk line and yell at each other!

Screen writing is very different than writing a short or a novel. A old screen writer axiom is: Start the scene late, end it early. So yes, brevity is a primary virtue when writing a screen play. There are a lot of rules to writing for the screen, we have to follow them. My goal is not to make a film, or to make a fan film. My goal it to write a smart, interesting, compelling story set in the Shadowrun universe that is in the form of a screen play. That is what I want.

Its great to come up with interesting bits of dialoged. We can go back over it and look at it when we start the dialogue writing phase (the last thing you do after the scenes are written).

For my first post as I resurrect my carcass form the dregs of reality:
I like the “Dragon manipulation” idea for the closing scene. I also feel (just my biased opinion) that “buzz words” or clichés that are indigenous to the Shadow Run universe should be used. Why? Say this did ends up in production as a motion picture or an animated movie. It will serve as an introduction to the SR universe and most of the universal terms will be acceptable. Hoi chummer! Has always sounded a bit cheesy to me and been the unequivicable mark of a newbie, but look at the Shadow Run Universe as a whole when determining what phrases to incorporate; over all it is a game designed to be fun. Fighting over it won’t solve anything. In the end, it is up to the people who complete the project.
Anyone that doesn’t like it (I am sure) is welcome to create their own project. What is right isn’t always what is done; as history can prove since it was written by conquerors.
I would make only one single request. Don’t make the same mistakes that occurred with the D&D movie.

I really fear you guys are presenting a very kitchen-sink attitude about fantasy elements in Shadowrun. In a prior post in the subject of an SR movie, people were really wussed out about the depiction of astral space, but now everyone wants a dragon? Odd, very odd

What D&D 1 lacked in dungeons it certainly tried to make up for in poorly rendered dragons. D&D 2 was a lot better (bar was pretty low, I know) for probably a lot less money and it had to do with script. I think that's just a problem of fantasy screenwriters not having the same caliber of writing skills as most dramatic screenwriters. Drama is also highly prized in the US as the purist form of cinema so it's hard to gather good talent for anything else.

I had an idea today about an interest set piece battle. You could make a good gun fu fight through a monorail moving under ground and over streets. The integration of a pursuing riggers (both good and bad guys) could really spice things up. I feel this is the place to post something like this, so enjoy

I like this quote:

I like it.

I would have to say that would kind of exclude a text-based prologue (not to say that's bad. It's not everyone will read the words put before them anyway)