2:00 AM
Renton rains, right on timeYou arrive at the Stuffer Shack, possibly drenched in September rain depending on your gear and how you got here. The parking lot contains a half-dozen cars and vans, a pair of bikes and an electro-scoot, the lot looks tame enough. No one is hanging around outside in the rain; an advert begins playing through loud-speakers on top of the store.
It's the great equalizer.
It'll stop a troll the size
of a car as easily as the
smallest dwarf or the
thinnest elf. It ain't a
weapon, a spell, or even a
dragon-it's hunger. When
it's time to eat, you just
gotta get the stuffers into
your stomach before you
-go berserk.It's pretty busy for this time of night, especially since torrential rain like the one you just ran through usually keeps normal people at home. The elf girl behind the counter looks like an angel; even the fluorescent lights can't dull her beauty. Her vacant stare indicates that she probably only has one asset and you've already noticed it.
Coming out of the storeroom is a dwarf wearing an apron and hauling a load of NutraSoy Energy Cakesâ„¢ (both kinds, the original Euro-Chocolate and the new Caribbean flavor). Talking non-stop (mainly repeating the phrases, "Stop that!", "Drop that!", "Put that down!" and "Get over here!") is an obese woman with a shopping cart and an equally obese child who seems to want one of everything the store offers.
In other words, everything is normal for a Stuffer Shack, even at 2 AM. There are other people shopping in the store, but you hardly notice them as your stomach growls again and you head for your gut rotter of choice.
Inside the Stuffer Shack Key to the Stuffer Shack map
QUOTE
Aisle 1: Air filters, radon testers, water purifiers, DetoxyTM
products ("Clean Your Oxy ... Use Detoxy!") and other environmental
and antipollution products for the home.
Aisle 2: Automotive and bike supplies.
Aisle 3: Soaps, detergents, bug sprays, roach condos, rat
traps, big rat traps and so on.
Aisle 4: Small hardware, household goods, paints and sprays.
Aisle 5: Personal hygiene soaps, sprays, pads, toilet paper,
strips and spritzes, in regular or industrial strength.
Aisle 6: First aid supplies, along with a big sign reading: "Don't
Wait To Get Hit ... Stock Your Medkit!" There are also patent
medicines, vitamins and so forth.
Aisle 7: Pet foods and supplies.
Aisle 8: Small appliances, such as Zap-a-Nuke microwaves,
Toast-R-ovens, coffee makers and so on.
Aisle 9: On the left is a locked display of simchips and
simdisks, both audio and video, for purchase or rental. A big
display sign in the middle of the shelf hawks the latest "Beauty
and Her Beasts" simsense chip.
On the right are snacks to go with the vids-sodas,
soynuts, Slurpee-doos, Zap-corn, and a host of individually
wrapped treats.
Aisle 10: Use'N'Lose disposable plastic products, such as
clothing, tablecloths, containers, utensils and umbrellas.
Aisle 11: Baked goodies, such as cakes, doughnuts, twisters,
Sweeteez and Krak-L-Snaps. The NutraSoy Energy Cakesâ„¢ display
that the dwarf is building is located at the end of this aisle facing Area E.
Aisle 12: Breakfast foods, such as AlmostEgg, BacoSoy and
ready-to-eat cereals (including Maxiblast Sugar Bombs in three
popular flavors: Red, Green and Purple!).
Aisle 13: Soykafs, teas and herbal teas, Koko chocolate substitute
and beverage mixes.
Aisle 14: On the left, Aztex-mex cuisine, ranging from mild
("Wussy") to very spicy ("Meltdown"). Most products feature
the stepped-pyramid logo of Aztechnology on the label.
On the right, guaranteed organic health foods imported
directly from various Native American Nations and Elven
Wines from Tir Tairngire. Prices are very high. Perishables are in
Areas K and J.
Aisle 15: On the right, chips, dips, crackers, cookies, twitters,
choco-slurps and berry-bombers.
On the left are candies and other mega-carbohydrate-death
stuffers like Boostergum, SucroZoom, and Womp-Snappers.
Aisle 16: On the left are soypasta, sauces, ramen noodles, and
cup-a-soup products.
On the right are soups and stews, both freeze-dried mixes
and prepackaged heat-and-serves.
Aisle 17: On the right are plasti-packed fruit dishes and vegetables
that are gamma-ray treated to retard spoilage. There are small radiation
wrappers on the packaging.
Aisle 18: Flour, raw nutrisoy and flavor additives, krill-filler, textured
vegetable protein, dextro- and levo-sugars and sugar substitutes.
Area A: The checkout counter. Besides the elf woman working
here, there's a bar-code scanner, cash register terminal, credstik
receptor and various counter displays.
Area B: Everyone's favorite, the simsense arcade games are
located here. There are four different games: "Little Mutant Vik
Ninja Cyberboy! 3," "Orbital Ninja Death Commando 5," "The
All-New Ultimate Bike Race Ninja Street Duel," and "Street
Fighting Magical Ninja 8."
Each is 1 ¥ per minute of play-just slot your credstik and put on the 'trodes.
Area C: ?
Area D: This is a locked display of cheap, personal electronics
such as personal computers, cheap CD and chip players, data
readers and portable simsense rigs.
Area E: The dispenser bars for liquid and viscous products such
as Shmoozies, Snorkels, Shakeups, Soykaf, Fizzygoo and so on
are located here. It also features Ludivenko' Lovely SoyaSioppies
with the DoubleThick option.
Area F: The Cook-It-Yourself microwave, the rotating pizza display
machine, the Synthmeat "Hot Dog" dispenser and the SoyPatty
Yummy Burger Grill-O-Matic are located here. The table
in this section offers plates, cups, napkins, plastic knives and
plastic sporks.
Area G: ?
Area H: ?
Area J: The cold food items are stocked here. The microwaveable
foods are closest to Area F; the rest are "homemade sandwiches
and meals shipped in overnight," plus kafsoda, synthjuice,
and soymilk.
Area K: Frozen foods of all kinds, with frozen confections
near Aisles 1 and 2.
Area L: This area contains a tiny, dusty and yellowing display of
books and magazines in actual hardcopy format. There are also
two NewsFax printout terminals and a HoloQuik copy machine.