Oh god, tell me about it. One of the most hilarious times was a few years back when I was running Paradise Lost, where the runners have to go to Hawai'i. (And excellent adventure if you have never run it and the back half of the adventure is the Hawai'i source book... very worth picking up) What follows is a scene straight out of the adventure, so don't read if you do not want to be spoiled on one of the scenes.
Anyway, at some point, the players never-before-seen contact is supposed to meet them at a luau that night. So, while they are sitting there eating roast pig and poi and belly dancers wriggle about to the beat of the drums, a woman come running through the middle of the partiers, clutching something that she throws at the feet of one of the players. Here's a recollected memory of the event:
GM (me): Okay, so a tall blond elven girl, comes running through all the seated patrons, clutching something under her arm. Some distance behind there appears to be some folks chasing her. As she passes by you, she tosses a satchel at your feet.
Player 1 (Elf Adept, being played by a nearly 50 YO man): She does what?
PLayer 2 (Dwarf Street Sam, played by a 30 YO man): Oh no!
Player 3 (Dwarf Rigger, played by a 50 YO man): Oh God!
GM: She tossed something about a foot from where you are seated. It apears to be a satchel. Okay, everyone roll initiative.
Initiave is rolled. Adept followed by Sam and then Rigger.GM: Okay, Player 1, what are you gonna do?
Player 1: I leap to my feet and chase after her, yelling, "Take care of hte bomb!"
I raise my eyebrows but say "Okay
." He does just that.GM: Okay, Player 2, you're up. What are you going to do?
Player 2: I pull my Predator and shoot at the terrorist elf!
GM: Terrorist elf?
Player 2: Yeah, the chic that jsut threw the bomb at us!
GM: Oh! Okay.
Player 2 quick draws his Predator and takes a couple shots at the retreating figure in the shadows. He manages one box of light damage. She doesn't get knocked down.GM: Okay, Player 3, your turn.
Player 3: Is the package close enough for me to reach from here?
I roll some diceGM: Sure, you can lean over nad grab it.
Player 3: Okay. I grab it and toss it in...
GM: No, you already used your complex action picking it up. You are holding the package. You'll have to wait for hte next phase.
Player 3: Oh....crap! Well, I can drop it, right? That's a free action?
GM: Sure.
Player 3: Okay, I am going to drop it in punch bowl sitting on the table in front of me.
GM (
wanting to hold head at this point) You are dropping it in the punch bowl? That's not jsut dropping it.
Player 3 (
looking scared to death): "But!"
GM: Fine, give me an Athletics test, target 6.
Player 3 rolls dice, is successful.Okay, the faux leather bag is floating in the punch bowl.
Player 3 still looks scaredGM: Okay, now, the guys chasing the elf, apparently 3 humans and an ork, come stampeding through the crowd, who is reacting to all this commotion and gunfire. A couple of voices are screaming "Bomb!! Bomb! Run!" The partiers are climbing to their feet and scrambling. Okay, next phase. Erase your 10's.
GM: Okay Player 1, what are you doing?
Player 1: How close am I to the terrorist?
GM: You mean the elf?
Player 1: Yeah!
GM: Ummm, about 3 meters behind her.
Player 1: Okay, I launch myself at her, and try to bring her down using my martial arts.
GM: Ummm, fine, okay.
Assigns penalties and has Player 1 make his attacks. He succeeds in tripping up the elf.
GM: Okay, Player 2, what are you going to do?
Player 2: Can I see the terrorist?
GM: The elf?
Player2: Yeah! If I can see her, I want to shoot her again.
GM: She's hard to see between the crowd that's running in all directions and hte fact that PLayer 1 is on top of her.
Player 2: Damn! Okay. I get up and start yelling at the folks around me to "Run! There's a bomb!" I move in the direction of PLayer 1.
GM: Okay. No problem.
GM: OKay, Player 3, what are you gonna do?
Player 3: Is the bomb jsut floating in the punch bowl?
GM: You mean the satchel?
Player 3: Yeah. If it's just floating there, I am going to submerge it.
GM: Um sure.. okay, I'll let you stand up and press it into the bowl. Is that what you want to do?
Player 3: Yeah! (
he looks a little relieved)
He stands up and presses the leather bag deep into the bowl.GM: Okay, 3rd phase... just Player 1 and Player 2 this time. Player 1, what's your action?
Player 1: I am going to beat up this terrorist.
GM: Beat up?
Player 1: Yeah! Using my Killing Hands, I am going to pummel her into submission.
GM: Killing hands? Physical damage or Stun?
Player 1 (
after taking considerable time to think about this)
reluctantly: "I'll use Stun."
He attacks the downed elf and, between her penalties for being injured and being down, she loses spectacularly. When all is said and down he still manages to inflict 2 boxes of P damage while knocking her out.GM: OKay, she's gone. Her eyes roll back in her head, she stops moving and her face is absolutely covered in blood.
PLayer 1: Good!
GM: Player 2?
Player 2: Okay, what's the security team doing?
GM: What security team?
Player 2: The ones that were chasing the elf terrorist!
GM: Oh... the humans and the ork are moving towards where Player 1 just got done beating the elf up.
PLayer 2: Okay. I am tucking my Predator away and joining them.
GM: Joining them?
Player 2: Yeah. I am running after them to catch up.
GM: Okay
GM: Okay guys, roll me a new init.
They do so, winding up in the same order as before.
GM: The crowd is now in a panic and fleeing every direction. You hear cries of "Bomb!" and some yelling "Dial 911!" Okay, Player 1, the elf is unconscious under you. What are you going to do?
Player 1: Umm... (
He studies the playing mat, checking his distance from the punch bowl to himself and apparently deems himself to be out of a blast zone.) I am going to start searchign the terrorist bitch.
GM: You mean the elf. Are you looking for anything in particular?
Player 1: Yeah, weapons and ID.
GM: Okay, roll your perception.
Player 1 rolls.GM: Okay, you find a large switchblade on her and a little Streetline Special. You find a cred stick in her pocket.
GM: Okay, Player 2?
Player 2: I run along behind the security team.
GM: You mean the humans and the ork?
Player 2: Yeah
GM: Okay. Anything else?
PLayer 2: I dig out the Security Specialist papers our fixer sent to us.
GM: Okay.
GM: OKay, Player 3. You are standing over the punch bowl and are holding the pleather bag under the surface. Now what are you going to do?
Player 3: Well, I want to pull it out and start disarming it.
GM: Disarming what?
Player 3: The bomb! (
looking at me like I am an idiot) I want to disarm the bomb with my Demolitiions skill.
GM: Okay, you pull the doused bag out of the punch bowl and are carefully opening it...
Player 3: Using my Demolitions in case it's trapped!
GM: Yeah... tell you what, just give me a perception test.
Player 3 rolls and has several successes at a base of 4.
GM: You carefully open the drenched satchel and looking inside you see some paperwork that is completely soaked. Looks like it might have once been floorplans. There appear to be a couple electronic ID cards, now probably ruined after being completely submerged in the juiced up rum from the bowl.
Player 3: Oh. Oh! Crap, I bet that terrorist elf must have stolen this from our contact.
GM (
sobbing): Or, you know... give me a perception roll.
Player 3 rolls, pretty well.GM: Or, you know.. the "terrorist elf"... maybe she WAS your contact?
Player 3: Oh....
______________________
The PCs at that point have it out with the gang that was chasing their contact, succeed in killing them and narrowly avoid the arriving police, and haul their unconscious contact away. She is very reluctant to help them at this point, and only replaces their floorplans after they pay for the reconstructive surgery to her face from the adept mangling her nose and mouth. The easy "in" they had via the electronic pass cards that were ruined is gone and they had to break in electronically. After killing the gang in public and with all the witnesses, they had to relocate hotels and go into disguise since assorted clear pictures of their faces were plastered all over the Trid, collected from the various tourists that were at the luau on vaction with their handy cameras. They were VERY wanted by the local cops.
My players tried to convince me that the whole bomb scare was
my fault. They said "Who calls that a satchel?! I figured when you said satchel it meant a satchel charge!"

They still grumbled when I pointed out to them that "Look, the module developers called it that. Not all satchels are bombs! IN fact, satchels are used to DISGUISE bombs!
All in the day of the life of a Shadowrunner, I guess.