Today, someone randomly mentioned Hunting for Bambi to me, which many years ago was supposedly some kind of controversial thing where middle aged rich fat men would hunt naked women somewhere with paintball markers. I guess a lot of people got mad about it and there was a lot of controversy.

I happened to google "Hunting for Bambi" and found some website about it...the guy behind it sounds like a real dick based on the text on his website, but that's neither here nor there.

It occurred to me that it would be much cooler and awesome to have Bambi hunt *you*. What kind of sad pansy wants to hunt a helpless victim? A real challenge would be much more satisfying on many levels.

Here's my idea. There are athletic, aggressive young women with paintball markers who are dressed up like feral bestial hunters, like the creatures from the Island of Dr. Moreau. You get dropped in the woods somewhere at Point A and you have to make it to Point B, let's say maybe 10 miles away. Your only equipment is some surplus jungle boots, some old tiger stripe camo uniform left over from the Vietnam War, a boonie hat, a scarf, some eye protection and a mouthguard, a couple canteens of water, a single MRE baggie, and a little compact of camo face paint. The wilderness area is filled with aforementioned women who have paintball makers. Their goal is to hunt you down and chase you while shooting you repeatedly with paintballs. If they hit you, the game keeps going; it only stops if you say you give up, which presumably would only happen if several of them were chasing you around about 5 feet away and repeatedly unloading their markers into you and you couldn't get away from them. That way a big part of the challenge is pain tolerance and athleticism. There's lots of these women, and they have patrol routes and everything, so that there's a high probability of multiple encounters with them on your way to Point B.

So basically you have to evade the patrols and get to Point B. If you do this you have completed the challenge and get some sort of cool prize of thematic relevance, maybe a ghillie suit or something.

That would be one of the awesomeest outdoor day adventures ever. I cannot believe no one has created this yet.

You're a weird dude sometimes, buddy.

I would totally pay money to have hot, scantily clad women chase me through the woods. I'd have to insist on some kind of armor, though, maybe the stuff BMX bikers wear.

Wounded Ronin, when I strike it rich, I will get in touch with you about a business proposal. Of course, there will have to be lots of quality control testing before the product goes to market.

I wonder if that guy got the licence from Disney to use the name "Bambi".

You know, that reminds me o my idea for Groceryshopping for Men. To make it more interesting for our hunting instincts, food at the grocery store would be tied onto little Remote.controlled car. You'dbe given a paintball gun, and you have to shoot what you want. Much more interesting that way, and more realistic as bad hunters don't get to eat.

It's a real name, so Disney wouldn't have been able to copyright it.

My initial thought was 'good luck getting women to participate in something like that'.

Then my second thought was 'Actually, I'm sure there are plenty of women (especially the kind that fit your description) that would love the chance to shoot a guy with paintballs until he literally cries from the pain.

P.S. You might want to watch Mantracker. It's kind of similar, only the women are replaced with a guy on a horse, and the paintball guns are replaced by a lasso.

Yeah, I like Mantracker. Skills, mistakes, interpersonal conflict, teamwork, arrogance and comeuppances. And lots of gorgeous Canadian wilderness.

I actually wouldn't mind giving it a try, myself.

This reminds me of a flash game that spoofed the hunting"simulators" that showed up for computers some years ago. In the game, rather then playing a hunter hunting deer or similar, you played a deer in rambo getup hunting hunters in a bar...

Like that guy who died in Monty Python's Meaning of Life. He kept running in the wrong direction. Away.

It's funny, because I don't think I've actually seen one where the prey haven't won, though I've only seen about a half dozen episodes. I saw one where one got caught and one didn't but that was about it.

I really loved the one where they guys won because they got so lost that Mantracker had no clue what they were doing or where they were going.

For me it would really depend on what environment it was in. I couldn't do some of those hotter places.

Odd. My experience is almost the opposite, only a few of the teams I have watched made it.

Like the white belt who is way more dangerous in sparring than the brown belt because his newbie blows are so erratic and uncontrolled.

Basically. They managed to backtrack when they ran into the wood a few times, and ended up behind mantracker on the road, basically following him without even realizing it, and he just kept going, figuring they were going forward. Then on the second day they managed to go in a big circle and ended up back at their camp site right as mantracker was looking for their tracks there.

The main reason they won though, was because they were basically in a forest with one or two paths that lead to where they were going, so every time mantracker saw them, they just ran into the woods and he couldn't follow.

Do the women insult you in german too?

Sorry, only in Russian. XD

All I can say is: The Most Dangerous Game

The short story or the movie?

Never saw the movie all the way through.

Basically: It was awesome.

I think that's what the allusion to Russian was about.

I think he was talking about this
http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1488

How did we get 21 posts in without this?

"In Soviet Russia, Bambi hunt you!"

can't believe we went 21 posts without

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deer_Avenger

Thanks, i think i hinted about it earlier but failed to recall the name of the game(s).

Is Deer Avenger any good?

It reminds me of playing blitz games of chess against my cousin-- he's a hard-studying and cautious player with an A rating and has taken Expert ranked players a time or two when they try taking him with a known trap. Meanwhile, I am only a dabbler, but it is still fun to get to the midgame when I can practically hear the gears in his head grinding away as he looks at one of my weak/unorthodox moves and tries to decide if I'm daring or just an idiot in under 60 seconds.

it's satire. depends on your definition of "good". given your previous posting history, I would say no. YMMV