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> Elves and dwarves - why doesn't everyone hate them?, Heck, I would.
Stahlseele
post May 17 2009, 06:13 PM
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Troll Legs are longer, therefore, they are faster.
At least in SR4.
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Wesley Street
post May 17 2009, 06:24 PM
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QUOTE (Kerenshara @ May 17 2009, 10:26 AM) *
Unfortunately for the general consensus of most of those posting, if you're a leg man, it's tough to beat the length, definition and suppleness of an elven leg.

Too much gristle, not enough meat.
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KCKitsune
post May 17 2009, 10:03 PM
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Hey guys I thought this was dumpshock and not Cannibals Anonymous? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

Honestly, if you're going to eat something, go with a dragon! I mean not only can it feed the whole block, you can get a whole lot of wonderful little bits and turn it into foci and whatnot.
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GreyBrother
post May 17 2009, 10:12 PM
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Libidoenhancing Dragontesticles/Drasticles??
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Writer
post May 17 2009, 10:41 PM
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How did this topic go from "Elves and dwarves - why doesn't everyone hate them?, Heck, I would" to "Elves and dwarves - why doesn't everyone ate them?, Heck, I would"
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KCKitsune
post May 17 2009, 10:52 PM
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QUOTE (Writer @ May 17 2009, 06:41 PM) *
How did this topic go from "Elves and dwarves - why doesn't everyone hate them?, Heck, I would" to "Elves and dwarves - why doesn't everyone ate them?, Heck, I would"


Topic Creep? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wobble.gif)
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Mongoose
post May 17 2009, 11:38 PM
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QUOTE (nezumi @ May 11 2009, 01:41 PM) *
Then 39 rolls around. Babies have stretched you out. Laser surgery got ride of the stretch marks, but the baby fat keeps coming back after lipo. And there's nothing you can do for wrinkles and crow's feet except paralyze your face so it looks like a wax mask. Meanwhile, Sandra's still bouncy and gravity-defying. She looks like she just got out of college yesterday. She doesn't even have to dye her hair! The slitch.

And then your husband starts his mid-life crisis...


Your husband, who's been jacking sim-porn since he was 12 and (like you) works 14 hours a day, 6 days a week, probably has about as much interest in Sandra's body as he does in washing dishes. Those babies that stretched you out? In vitro. The second was carried by an orc surigate along with her litter; your kid's birth paid for the two she kept.

But hey, don't worry, you'll never get divorced; it says so right in your corporate employment and housing contract.
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Zaranthan
post May 18 2009, 03:34 AM
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For the record, I feel the fact that half the positions in the kama sutra would cause an elf to simply snap into two half-elves is a large part of their appeal. How are you supposed to do S&M with a troll sub? They've got ARMOR in their SKIN for crying out loud!
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Kerenshara
post May 18 2009, 03:53 AM
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QUOTE (Zaranthan @ May 17 2009, 10:34 PM) *
For the record, I feel the fact that half the positions in the kama sutra would cause an elf to simply snap into two half-elves is a large part of their appeal. How are you supposed to do S&M with a troll sub? They've got ARMOR in their SKIN for crying out loud!

"Always did want to try out that cat-o-nine-tails with the barbs on the end..." ::Kerenshara
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Kerenshara
post May 18 2009, 03:57 AM
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QUOTE (Mongoose @ May 17 2009, 06:38 PM) *
Your husband, who's been jacking sim-porn since he was 12 and (like you) works 14 hours a day, 6 days a week, probably has about as much interest in Sandra's body as he does in washing dishes. Those babies that stretched you out? In vitro. The second was carried by an orc surigate along with her litter; your kid's birth paid for the two she kept.

But hey, don't worry, you'll never get divorced; it says so right in your corporate employment and housing contract.

You know, you've got a great point. Quite a few of them. I hadn't given enough thought to loyal Corporate-Wage-Slave family life. It may be cleaner than growing up on the street, but that doesn't necessarily make it much saner or have much more freedom when you get right down to it. And maternity leave would probably be highly counter-indicated in the Corporate Enclaves. Maybe my next character should be a child of such a world who ran away from the conformity? Something along the lines of "I may starve, but I will die free." That bears some thought.
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Kerenshara
post May 18 2009, 04:19 AM
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QUOTE (GreyBrother @ May 17 2009, 05:12 PM) *
Libidoenhancing Dragontesticles/Drasticles??


>>Warning! ARO SPAM!!! Filter ineffective!<<

"The future is now!!! New, from EVO©, original makers of the Bionic PhalusTM, flagship of our NoButSeriously!TM line: DrasticlesTM! Genetically engineered and bio-enhanced testes, guaranteed to give you a libido a fourteen year old boy could only envy that means your wife will never have to fake it again, because you just won't stop*! Would you like to know more?"

*Warning!: Side effects may include blindness, hairy palms, cardiac arrest and increased protein intake. EVO© is not responsible for any criminal charges or marital issues in conjunction with or as a consequence of the use of DrasticlesTM. If you experience an erection lasting more than four hours, that's kind of the idea.
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rathmun
post May 18 2009, 10:21 AM
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QUOTE (Kerenshara @ May 17 2009, 10:19 PM) *
>>Warning! ARO SPAM!!! Filter ineffective!<<

"The future is now!!! New, from EVO©, original makers of the Bionic PhalusTM, flagship of our NoButSeriously!TM line: DrasticlesTM! Genetically engineered and bio-enhanced testes, guaranteed to give you a libido a fourteen year old boy could only envy that means your wife will never have to fake it again, because you just won't stop*! Would you like to know more?"

*Warning!: Side effects may include blindness, hairy palms, cardiac arrest and increased protein intake. EVO© is not responsible for any criminal charges or marital issues in conjunction with or as a consequence of the use of DrasticlesTM. If you experience an erection lasting more than four hours, that's kind of the idea.




You owe me a new keyboard.
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Writer
post May 18 2009, 12:05 PM
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QUOTE (Zaranthan @ May 17 2009, 11:34 PM) *
How are you supposed to do S&M with a troll sub? They've got ARMOR in their SKIN for crying out loud!


Wow. That ... I don't know what to say to that.
And, yet, it is so true!

QUOTE (Kerenshara @ May 17 2009, 11:57 PM) *
And maternity leave would probably be highly counter-indicated in the Corporate Enclaves.


No kidding, considering that your office may very well be the comfy chair in the corner of the living room. Sure you live in the corporate owned world, but they don't want to bother with travel time, snow days, or potty breaks. The matrix is the largest office.

QUOTE (Kerenshara @ May 18 2009, 12:19 AM) *
>>Warning! ARO SPAM!!! Filter ineffective!<<


That was awesome.
I'll have to throw that into a story sometime as a bit scene.
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Kerenshara
post May 18 2009, 01:10 PM
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QUOTE (rathmun @ May 18 2009, 05:21 AM) *
You owe me a new keyboard.

And just WHY, might I ask, do I owe you a new keyboard?
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Stahlseele
post May 18 2009, 01:15 PM
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Probably had something to drink in his mouth and had to laugh at that.
Hitting Keyboard and Screen with the Contents of his mouth
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Kerenshara
post May 18 2009, 01:21 PM
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QUOTE (Stahlseele @ May 18 2009, 08:15 AM) *
Probably had something to drink in his mouth and had to laugh at that.
Hitting Keyboard and Screen with the Contents of his mouth

Oh, well that's all to the good then. I don't feel like I completely wasted my time cooking that up if somebody got a serious laugh out of it. I have always taken a rather "Robocop" attitude toward advertising vis-a-vis humor in Shadowrun, and it's a nice way to easily break a mood at any time without breaking immersion.
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SincereAgape
post May 18 2009, 01:24 PM
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Troll and Ork men and the elven women who love them. On the next Jerry Springer the III.

On a related note. Down with Evo.
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Wesley Street
post May 18 2009, 03:24 PM
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QUOTE (Zaranthan @ May 17 2009, 10:34 PM) *
For the record, I feel the fact that half the positions in the kama sutra would cause an elf to simply snap into two half-elves is a large part of their appeal. How are you supposed to do S&M with a troll sub? They've got ARMOR in their SKIN for crying out loud!

Check out the AZ-150 Stun Baton's new ad campaign in next month's issue of Trogtwink.
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Kerenshara
post May 18 2009, 04:40 PM
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QUOTE (Wesley Street @ May 18 2009, 11:24 AM) *
Check out the AZ-150 Stun Baton's new ad campaign in next month's issue of Trogtwink.

"Electricity play? Mmmmmmm, kinky..." ::Kerenshara
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Writer
post May 18 2009, 08:32 PM
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Magic would totally revolutionize BDSM. Not only could the master directly cause pleasure and pain without the meat interface, they could literally do it simultaneously, AND the can make you want it even more (Mood Control, or something related), and feel guilty about it.

Wow. There is an idea. Imagine a corporate executive going to a mage "therapist" so that he can feel guilty about the horrible things he has done, if only for a short time. Then, after the session is over, the illusionary guilt goes away. The executive can get on with his day. See, he was really feeling shame about not feeling shame for his questionable business decisions. This way, he can feel shame for what he did, like his concept of a normal person, but it won't nag at him and cause him stress.
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Chrysalis
post May 18 2009, 09:02 PM
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QUOTE (Writer @ May 18 2009, 11:32 PM) *
Wow. There is an idea. Imagine a corporate executive going to a mage "therapist" so that he can feel guilty about the horrible things he has done, if only for a short time. Then, after the session is over, the illusionary guilt goes away. The executive can get on with his day. See, he was really feeling shame about not feeling shame for his questionable business decisions. This way, he can feel shame for what he did, like his concept of a normal person, but it won't nag at him and cause him stress.


You know I could see they could have these set up all around the sixth world. I believe the term they use for each indiscression called a "sin" and the location is a "confessional". It usually also involves large sums of money based on the "sin" being placed into private accounts for public works called "Catholic church coffers". I believe this is why the phrase "Hate the sin, but love the SINner" exists
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Writer
post May 18 2009, 09:19 PM
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QUOTE (Chrysalis @ May 18 2009, 05:02 PM) *
You know I could see they could have these set up all around the sixth world. I believe the term they use for each indiscression called a "sin" and the location is a "confessional". It usually also involves large sums of money based on the "sin" being placed into private accounts for public works called "Catholic church coffers". I believe this is why the phrase "Hate the sin, but love the SINner" exists


Nothing is new. Nothing is new. <sigh>
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Chrysalis
post May 18 2009, 09:57 PM
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Scriptor: Sub sole nihil novi est (Eccl 1:9).
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kzt
post May 18 2009, 10:33 PM
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QUOTE (KCKitsune @ May 17 2009, 04:03 PM) *
Hey guys I thought this was dumpshock and not Cannibals Anonymous? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

Honestly, if you're going to eat something, go with a dragon! I mean not only can it feed the whole block, you can get a whole lot of wonderful little bits and turn it into foci and whatnot.

And they make lovely rugs. And slippers.
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SincereAgape
post May 18 2009, 11:13 PM
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Chinese proverb.

Eating dragon meat adds years to your life, hair to your chest, increases brain power by .01 percent, but tastes bitter as hell. In essences it's ginseng combined with steroids.
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