2791. I am no longer allowed to hide the 'canon cannon' behind my GM screen at live games, which shoots springloaded koala teddy bears as I say "Dropbear attack, resist 10P" at whoever it hits when someone gets fussy about my fuzzy history of what happened in over 80 years of shadowrun history.
2791a. I am definately not allowed to put it on a spinner in the middle of a table with a remote control so that noone even close to the pain in the ass gets thwacked.

2792. I am not allowed to run a pirate software guild for free software.
2792a. Especially with my mystic adept.
2792b. Especially not with the mystic adept from #2786

2793. I am no longer allowed to 'control actions' the 'cute chick down the hall' the gm put in as a civilian casualty/possible romantic interest via remote ritual for sex via a fallen hair follicle... and then lethe her afterwards... and get her pregnant because I didn't bother with a condom.
2793a. Again.

2794. I cannot use the detractions in Runner's Companion for custom built lifestyle to create my own money making whore house by combining 'black hole' with a spirit who can search for all the things customers drop, crash pad to bring in extra clientelle, no privacy so drive-bys can easily decide on the goods, rough neighborhood for easier hires, "This ain't Big Bob's Auto's" and inviting the other company's clientelle to the location to discuss their issue, worse neighbors so Lone Star leaves me the hell alone, and 'perfect room-mate' who keeps the ho's in line.
2794a. I specifically can't do this to maintain a partially luxury lifestyle for the price of low, without at least warning the GM so he can burn it down first run...

For this one word, sir, you win all the soda I just shot out of my nose.
No really, it's a prize worth winning, honest.

There is no 2786. You skipped it and noone noticed.

2795. Cannot masturbate while holding the severed head of the LoneStar officer who has been following my character, in front of the LoneStar building, screaming.

No you cannot. Is it the head that's screaming or you?

Me. I'm doing the screaming.

And now, so am I.

2796: I am not allowed to give a pixie a flamethrower.
2796a: Even if it has been custom made by Mattel.

2796b: Laser weapons are right out.

2796c: I am not allowed to trap the pixie in a large jar filled with energy drink and give it a good shake.
2796d: I am by no means allowed to name it "The Wake-Up Call."

It's a beautiful thing, those typos, aren't they. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

So what's the mystic adept about?

2797: I am not allowed to request Goat's Eyes instead of Cat's Eyes.
2797a: Even if it's just for the 'intimidation' factor.

2798: I am not allowed to try and hijack a Shadowrun game and turn it into an Eclipse Phase game.
2799: Rich boys from Orbital families do not play laser tag with real lasers.
2800: Even if Radiation Shielding on milspec armor makes all lasers do stun damage.
2801: When the GM says "Pretty much carte blanche" on gear requisition, this does not cover a Nanofax with nanoprints for milspec laser tag gear.
2802: It also doesn't cover an orbital-dropped, nano-constructed laser tag arena featuring five kilometers of monowire and 1000 holographic projectors.
2803: Or a getaway rocket to Mars.

What.

hi hi



Think of it like having earned a request from the Don.

Carte blanche, or "Blank check." When a corporation really, really needs you to do something, and for some reason thinks you are the best for the job. Sort of kids in a candyshop for gearheads.

2804: I am not allowed to play a character based off of Jamie Hyneman or Adam Savage of Mythbusters.
2805: Even if the rigger is not based off of any of the Mythbusters cast, the rigger is not allowed to videotape every run for the sake of starting a crime-based Mythbusters spinoff on the Matrix.

2806: I am not to take previous characters as loyalty 4-5 contacts to justify knowledge of hijinks from the previous campaign
2806a: exceptions: 1. I convince the GM to give a month and year for the start of the first campaign and maintain a calendar and 2. I convince the Gm to give a month and year for the start of second campaign (calendar optional)

2807: I cannot put Gecko Tips on the Evo Orderly and perform remote VR surgery while on the ceiling. Things spill.

2808: I am not allowed to use spells for "enhanced interrogation".
2809: I am no longer allowed to describe, in detail, the methods I use in enhanced interrogation.
2810: I am required to concede that psychological torture is still torture.
2811: I am no longer allowed to gather information for the run.

2812: I'm not allowed to kidnap beggars and drunks to insert cyberware I've taken out of bad guys to get my Cyberware skill up.

2813: A successful interrogation technique is not covering someone in No-Paint and injecting them with Red Mescaline while they are passed out in a dark, sterile environment. Even if Red Mescaline drops their Will to 0 after they crash. It's mean, and no one likes mean people.

I do! I do!

Courtesy of one of my first PCs:

2814: I am not allowed to play a Face that is incapable of vocalizing normal speech and must thus conduct all negotiations via text messages.
2814a: Even if he can read and write ten languages fluently
2814b: Especially if he is a type III SURGE changeling fishman
2814c: Especially if I name him 'Murkey' and make Murlock noises in-character the entire game.