Chuck Norris: 2070, The Facts Options

[Azralon]

* Whenever Chuck Norris is hired to do a shadowrun, the Johnson smiles suspiciously and assures him that "It'll be easy." This Johnson is correct.

* All reflex recorders are cloned tissue from the spinal column of Chuck Norris.

* Chuck Norris was once hired by Ares Macrotechnology to test their new multi-phasic kinetic hyperlaser in a run against Saeder-Krupp. He knocked Lofwyr out with a single roundhouse kick, took the loot, and reported that the laser was an inadequate beard trimmer.

* Mentor spirits spend 5 BP at chargen to learn the ways of Chuck Norris.

* A harsh glare from Chuck Norris can be felt through an active Pain Editor.

* In truth, Chuck Norris does not "shadowrun." Running implies urgency. Chuck Norris "shadowmeanders."

* Chuck Norris was upset at Dunkelzahn. Once.

* Technomancers possess an innate ability to communicate with the wireless Matrix as this is the best way to fully absorb reruns of "Walker, Texas Ranger."

* The sweat of Chuck Norris is superior to Dikote. Too bad he never sweats.

* The next Scourge will not happen during the Sixth World, as the Horrors are terrified of Chuck Norris.

* Chuck Norris is not "minmaxed." He is "maxmaxed."