* Whenever Chuck Norris is hired to do a shadowrun, the Johnson smiles suspiciously and assures him that "It'll be easy." This Johnson is correct.
* All reflex recorders are cloned tissue from the spinal column of Chuck Norris.
* Chuck Norris was once hired by Ares Macrotechnology to test their new multi-phasic kinetic hyperlaser in a run against Saeder-Krupp. He knocked Lofwyr out with a single roundhouse kick, took the loot, and reported that the laser was an inadequate beard trimmer.
* Mentor spirits spend 5 BP at chargen to learn the ways of Chuck Norris.
* A harsh glare from Chuck Norris can be felt through an active Pain Editor.
* In truth, Chuck Norris does not "shadowrun." Running implies urgency. Chuck Norris "shadowmeanders."
* Chuck Norris was upset at Dunkelzahn. Once.
* Technomancers possess an innate ability to communicate with the wireless Matrix as this is the best way to fully absorb reruns of "Walker, Texas Ranger."
* The sweat of Chuck Norris is superior to Dikote. Too bad he never sweats.
* The next Scourge will not happen during the Sixth World, as the Horrors are terrified of Chuck Norris.
* Chuck Norris is not "minmaxed." He is "maxmaxed."
Full Version: Chuck Norris: 2070
Youre the man.
and Chuck was a student of Bruce Lee, what does that tell you?
Here is a "television totem," reposted from this thread: Piranha totem
Walker: Texas Ranger: Walker is the god of cheese and B-movie acting, always looking for the right moment to drive a big truck or deliver a roundhouse kick.
Advantages: +6 dice to all Roudhouse Kick tests.
Disadvantages: Followers of this Spirit lack a sense of reality. -2 dice to resist all Illusion spells.
Walker: Texas Ranger: Walker is the god of cheese and B-movie acting, always looking for the right moment to drive a big truck or deliver a roundhouse kick.
Advantages: +6 dice to all Roudhouse Kick tests.
Disadvantages: Followers of this Spirit lack a sense of reality. -2 dice to resist all Illusion spells.
Wouldn´t it allso grant a bonus on Negotiation to sell hometrainers?
| QUOTE (MK Ultra) |
| Wouldn´t it allso grant a bonus on Negotiation to sell hometrainers? |
Yes, but I decided that might unbalance the game.
| QUOTE (Churl Beck @ Feb 7 2006, 06:41 PM) | ||
Yes, but I decided that might unbalance the game. |
When I read that totem the word unbalanced still comes to mind. But not in association with the word game.
* Chuck Norris can parry monowhips.
* The boots of Chuck Norris are made entirely of Juggernaut hides, orichalcum, and drop bear fur.
* Normal PCs can have no more than 4 Initiative Passes per round. Chuck Norris can have more, but he only ever needs the one.
* Chuck Norris knows exactly where Atlantis is; he put it there.
* Ally spirits go on astral quests across the metaplanes in order to earn the ability to have sex with Chuck Norris.
* The boots of Chuck Norris are made entirely of Juggernaut hides, orichalcum, and drop bear fur.
* Normal PCs can have no more than 4 Initiative Passes per round. Chuck Norris can have more, but he only ever needs the one.
* Chuck Norris knows exactly where Atlantis is; he put it there.
* Ally spirits go on astral quests across the metaplanes in order to earn the ability to have sex with Chuck Norris.
On a similar note:
Vin Diesel is neither Mundane nor Awakened. He is Awesome.
The Desert Wars were started by Vin Diesel.
Vin Diesel invented NERPS only to eat them.
When an elf dies in the woods and no one is there to hear it, Vin Diesel hears it.
Vin Disel does not cut his hair. Ever. His hair is simply too afraid of him to grow.
Universal Omnitech and Aztechnology had a falling out because they realized that they could not share Vin Diesel.
Vin Diesel once beat Final Magecraft without even touching his Commlink. He just yelled at his trid in between bites of his “Filet of Child” sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.
Vin Diesel once had himself DikotedTM, but had the process reversed when he realized it was making him soft.
Nebis once made a bet with Vin Diesel for all the souls of mankind. Vin Diesel still hasn't decided what to do with all the souls.
Vin Diesel doesn't need enhanced articulation. He can already bite all ten toenails at once.
It takes 14 Control Actions spells to make Vin Diesel smile, but only one to make him destroy an orphanage.
Ares has successfully gotten the UCAS congress off their back by demonstrating that guns do not kill people. Vin Diesel kills people.
People thought that Vin Diesel sweated Plastisteel Catalizer for years. After chemical testing, it turns out that he's just really strong.
-Frank
Vin Diesel is neither Mundane nor Awakened. He is Awesome.
The Desert Wars were started by Vin Diesel.
Vin Diesel invented NERPS only to eat them.
When an elf dies in the woods and no one is there to hear it, Vin Diesel hears it.
Vin Disel does not cut his hair. Ever. His hair is simply too afraid of him to grow.
Universal Omnitech and Aztechnology had a falling out because they realized that they could not share Vin Diesel.
Vin Diesel once beat Final Magecraft without even touching his Commlink. He just yelled at his trid in between bites of his “Filet of Child” sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.
Vin Diesel once had himself DikotedTM, but had the process reversed when he realized it was making him soft.
Nebis once made a bet with Vin Diesel for all the souls of mankind. Vin Diesel still hasn't decided what to do with all the souls.
Vin Diesel doesn't need enhanced articulation. He can already bite all ten toenails at once.
It takes 14 Control Actions spells to make Vin Diesel smile, but only one to make him destroy an orphanage.
Ares has successfully gotten the UCAS congress off their back by demonstrating that guns do not kill people. Vin Diesel kills people.
People thought that Vin Diesel sweated Plastisteel Catalizer for years. After chemical testing, it turns out that he's just really strong.
-Frank
Chuck Norris has never fought Vin Diesel, as VD cant touch Chuck due to an errata of the laws of nature.
* Ally spirits must be Dikoted before they can have sex with Vin Diesel.
* Many people in 2070 eat soy based substitutes for real food, but Vin Diesel does not. There's no substitute for baby.
-Frank
* Many people in 2070 eat soy based substitutes for real food, but Vin Diesel does not. There's no substitute for baby.
-Frank
| QUOTE (Azralon @ Feb 8 2006, 12:45 AM) |
| * The boots of Chuck Norris are made entirely of Juggernaut hides, orichalcum, and drop bear fur. |
That tunrs him to Nr.1 Enemy of all Drop Bear followers.
| QUOTE (Grinder) | ||
That tunrs him to Nr.1 Enemy of all Drop Bear followers. |
Not necessarily. The withering gaze of Vin Diesel makes the fur fall right off a drop bear. That's why Vin Diesel has no fur.
-Frank
Don't even make me start in on Dolemite..
You guys have, of course, seen this awesome flash movie involving the great Chuck Norris right?
http://newgrounds.com/portal/view/285267
I think everyone has, but it seemed to fit the theme.
http://newgrounds.com/portal/view/285267
I think everyone has, but it seemed to fit the theme.
I once caught a glance at the Nintendo forum on Gamespot, and they were also making a lot of jokes about Chuck Norris. Is this some part of internet nerd lingo that I've missed? Sort of like "lol" or "pwn"?
Yeah.
* Contrary to common belief, Art Dunkwalther wasn't Thor shot - he said "Just who do you think you are?". To Chuck Norris.
Hehehe.
Have we seen much in the way of Matrix memes in Shadowland postings?
Have we seen much in the way of Matrix memes in Shadowland postings?
| QUOTE (Churl Beck) | ||
Yes, but I decided that might unbalance the game. |
Yea, imagin a ranger shamane hooding a gym and than fancing all the trainers on the black marked. really unbalancing
| QUOTE (mintcar @ Feb 8 2006, 03:55 AM) |
| I once caught a glance at the Nintendo forum on Gamespot, and they were also making a lot of jokes about Chuck Norris. Is this some part of internet nerd lingo that I've missed? |
It's a current internet fad, yes. Rather like the "Numa Numa kid", and prior to that the "Star Wars kid."
Google for "Chuck Norris facts." You'll find some paydata.
EDIT: Oh dear heaven, someone actually registered www.chucknorrisfacts.com. There's already merchandising.
* When Chuck Norris gets cyberware implanted he does not lose essence. Ever. The cyberware does.
* Vin Diesel does not usually use drugs. Sometimes he takes Kamikaze if he really wants to calm down.
-Frank
-Frank
Man, Frank, you're actually trolling the Chuck Norris thread with repeated mentions of that lesser being. What's up with that?
The Vin Diesel Fact Generator predated the Chuck Norris Fact Generator. The Chuck Norris Facts happened because the people doing the Vin Diesel Facts expanded the site to have Chuck Norris and Mr. T facts, and then people took a lot of the old Vin Diesel Facts and renamed them Chuck Norris or Mr. T Facts.
So if you keep them being about Vin Diesel you are in fact "old school", while as if you put Chuck Norris' name on the facts you are a "poser". Sorry, that's just the way it is.
-Frank
So if you keep them being about Vin Diesel you are in fact "old school", while as if you put Chuck Norris' name on the facts you are a "poser". Sorry, that's just the way it is.
-Frank
| QUOTE (FrankTrollman) |
| So if you keep them being about Vin Diesel you are in fact "old school", while as if you put Chuck Norris' name on the facts you are a "poser". Sorry, that's just the way it is. |
The Chuck Norris ones are funnier though, just because of who he is
Yeah, I mean, c'mon. Just look at this stuff.
and lo behold... who should descend from the heavens? It isChuck Norris!!! Hail the savior!.
Seriously, watch the animation.
Seriously, watch the animation.
| QUOTE (PBTHHHHT) |
| Seriously, watch the animation. |
that was greatness.
I posted that already in this thread, heh.
It's a good video, and if you like the music you should go check out Trapezoids site (listed at the end of the movie). I bought some of his stuff, he used to frequent a game creation forum a while back and I used some of his music in my games....
It's a good video, and if you like the music you should go check out Trapezoids site (listed at the end of the movie). I bought some of his stuff, he used to frequent a game creation forum a while back and I used some of his music in my games....
| QUOTE (Azralon) |
| * Chuck Norris can parry monowhips. |
He can parry them with his bare hands. You know monowhips were made from Chuck's chesthairs, right?
That's a lie! You know nobody has been able to get one of those free from his chest yet.
Nobody.....except Chuck Norris!!!
| QUOTE (eidolon) |
| That's a lie! You know nobody has been able to get one of those free from his chest yet. |
Maybe it's a new cultured bioware? Or it could be hair from other places....
| QUOTE (Moon-Hawk) |
| Nobody.....except Chuck Norris!!! |
And Roland.
Hmm, ok. I got to ask a slightly delicate question, and no, fellow Elders and Brothers, I am not trying to be blasphemous, I am just assessing a threat: In a fight, Chuck Norris vs. an Albino Ninja DropBear Commando, who would win?
Yes, there is a wrong answer.
Yes, there is a wrong answer.
| QUOTE (Magus) |
| and Chuck was a student of Bruce Lee, what does that tell you? |
And Chuck Norris is still breathing. What does that tell you?
| QUOTE (Oracle) |
| Hmm, ok. I got to ask a slightly delicate question, and no, fellow Elders and Brothers, I am not trying to be blasphemous, I am just assessing a threat: In a fight, Chuck Norris vs. an Albino Ninja DropBear Commando, who would win? Yes, there is a wrong answer. |
Good job
| QUOTE (Oracle) |
| In a fight, Chuck Norris vs. an Albino Ninja DropBear Commando, who would win? |
The audience.
| QUOTE (Azralon) |
| Man, Frank, you're actually trolling the Chuck Norris thread with repeated mentions of that lesser being. What's up with that? |
Vin Who? did you see how many hero's and wyld stallions it took to stop chuck?
man that was awsome, you have all redeamed your self in my eyes...except critias.
man that was awsome, you have all redeamed your self in my eyes...except critias.
hahahahahaha
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.