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How may gamers get laid?, Reversing destiny

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Wounded Ronin

Nov 2 2007, 04:34 AM

Post #1

Great Dragon

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Joined: 6-June 04
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A while ago I posted on bullshido.net asking how a gamer may defy his destiny and fate and manage to get laid in spite of intense female scorn. There was one excellent response. Perhaps the only coherent response to the subject, really.

http://www.bullshido.net/forums/showthread.php?t=61328

QUOTE

1. Don't meet women at a bar or club.
-Most hook-ups at bars/clubs are based purely on physical attributes (Strength for musculature, Dexterity for dancing ability, and Constitution for alcohol consumption) with, of course, Charisma factoring in once contact is made and initiative has been rolled.

Since your Prime Requisites revolve around more cerebral endeavors, I instead recommend that you join groups where you'll encounter like-minded women. The Challenge Rating at these places will produce more encounters that you'll be able to manage.

2. Initiate Contact
-Once you've encountered a suitable specimen, you then must make the appropriate Knowledge check to ensure that you've sized up the encounter accurately. Once that's done, look to your skill sets to best capitalize on your strengths and her weaknesses.

For instance, if she's a struggling intellectual with phenomenal stats in Dexterity and Charisma but mediocre Intelligence, wow her with your considerable Intellect while giving her the impression that you do, indeed, consider her Intelligence to be far higher than it really is.

3. Attack the Challenge from all Angles
-Most young men attack a woman from their specific specialty. Some kick down the door and charge right in, while others may talk the other to death. While this may work, you'll find greater success if you diversify your classes and develop a broad skill set.

Some women need an aggressive, direct approach while others need a more subtle, coaxing technique...if you multi-class and broaden your skills, you'll be able to challenge both types of women.

In addition, multi-classing will allow you to unleash unexpected attacks that seem unlikely from the font you project. Surprising women almost always results in an Attack of Opportunity, and will likely catch her Flat Footed as well.

4. The Anal Sneak Attack
-This attack takes a lot of time and preparation (H), so scout your opponent well in advance before attempting a rear assault.

In my case, I prefer frontal attacks versus backstabbing. While not always as exciting, I find that a failed attack is almost always less messy.

5. Verbal Components
-Adding a Verbal Component to your encounters will almost always result in a much more pliable, grateful, and manageable encounter. While not always necessary, getting in the habit of adding a Verbal Component can prepare you for those times when you really need it.

For instance, let's pretend that you're suffering from a Temporary Constitution due to an imbibed toxin. This poison is preventing you from unsheathing your sword to penetrate the lair of the Lich Queen, so you're unable to directly attack your foe. However...if you've been practicing your Verbal Components, then you can now stall the Lich Queen with your display of tongue Dexterity until the poison wears off...

...at which point you can then unsheath your sword and finish her off for good.

A quick word of advice when using Verbal Components: Aspirating through the mouth is always a good idea, as you never know when your opponent will unleash a Stinking Cloud.

Many a brave warrior has fallen low to the insidious Stinking Cloud.

Posts in this topic

Wounded Ronin How may gamers get laid? Nov 2 2007, 04:34 AM

Fortune Classic! Nov 2 2007, 04:43 AM

Kagetenshi Out of any group of gamers, exactly floor of one h... Nov 2 2007, 05:28 AM

Mercer I had sex one time. It was okay. Nov 2 2007, 12:49 PM

nezumi I had sex just last night and it was AWESOME!... Nov 2 2007, 02:02 PM

Zhan Shi The Quest continues....... Nov 2 2007, 02:24 PM

Critias QUOTE (nezumi) I'll have to go rub it in her f... Nov 2 2007, 02:44 PM

nezumi No, I have to be careful about what I put in her f... Nov 2 2007, 03:29 PM

Mercer QUOTE (Critias)QUOTE (nezumi @ Nov 2 2007, 09... Nov 2 2007, 05:01 PM

Adarael That is pure freakin' genius. Nov 2 2007, 05:29 PM

CircuitBoyBlue I don't know what the ratio of those getting l... Nov 2 2007, 08:05 PM

Alphastream CircuitBoyBlue, those last two girls were awesome.... Nov 2 2007, 11:32 PM

Fortune QUOTE (Alphastream @ Nov 3 2007, 09:32 AM) he... Nov 2 2007, 11:42 PM

Alphastream QUOTE (Fortune) QUOTE (Alphastream @ Nov 3 20... Nov 3 2007, 12:05 AM

Nikoli Means he's a cunning linguist Nov 3 2007, 02:45 AM

Kagetenshi QUOTE (Alphastream) 2. Dump stat? Let's be hon... Nov 3 2007, 06:03 PM

Stahlseele not many gamers get laid, but many get screwed Nov 3 2007, 06:47 PM

hyzmarca QUOTE (Alphastream) 9. A Trap? Oh, no! Look, i... Nov 4 2007, 07:02 AM

Kagetenshi Alternatively, use a ten-foot pole. ~J Nov 4 2007, 10:38 AM

CircuitBoyBlue QUOTE (hyzmarca) QUOTE (Alphastream @ Nov 2 2... Nov 4 2007, 04:50 PM

Kagetenshi There is such thing as a trap, but as Bridget teac... Nov 4 2007, 05:04 PM

hyzmarca QUOTE (Kagetenshi) There is such thing as a trap, ... Nov 4 2007, 06:42 PM

Lindt QUOTE (Kagetenshi) There is such thing as a trap, ... Nov 6 2007, 12:17 AM

CircuitBoyBlue You need to straighten out your priorities, sucker... Nov 6 2007, 12:25 AM

Lindt Id like to be able to afford my gaming habit in th... Nov 6 2007, 12:27 AM

pbangarth QUOTE (CircuitBoyBlue) You need to straighten out ... Nov 6 2007, 12:30 AM

Simon May Prioritizing is important, but we should leave his... Nov 6 2007, 01:58 AM

Kagetenshi It's not his sexual preference, it's the s... Nov 6 2007, 02:54 AM

CircuitBoyBlue QUOTE (pbangarth) QUOTE (CircuitBoyBlue @ Nov... Nov 6 2007, 02:10 PM

D-Franco83 QUOTE (CircuitBoyBlue) Fourth Encounter Me: ... Nov 13 2007, 05:02 PM

X-Kalibur I guess I'm just lucky in that most girls find... Nov 13 2007, 06:06 PM

Fortune QUOTE (D-Franco83) ... but how many of those times... Nov 13 2007, 07:12 PM

Wounded Ronin Well, once the female is engaged in sexual activit... Nov 13 2007, 07:45 PM

Hocus Pocus yet another oxymoron. gamers getting laid. :O Jan 11 2008, 03:55 AM

Platinum QUOTE (Hocus Pocus @ Jan 10 2008, 11:55 PM) y... Jan 11 2008, 02:41 PM

Fortune Hocus was kidding. He's married himself, altho... Jan 11 2008, 02:46 PM

Hocus Pocus QUOTE (Platinum) Speak for yourself. I am m... Jan 11 2008, 04:18 PM

nezumi QUOTE (Hocus Pocus) QUOTE (Platinum) Speak for you... Jan 11 2008, 04:23 PM

Fortune QUOTE (nezumi) If your wife does game, maybe you s... Jan 11 2008, 05:14 PM

Kagetenshi Ok, when she gets you pregnant, you're rolepla... Jan 11 2008, 05:22 PM

shadowfire QUOTE (Mercer) I had sex one time. It was okay. ... Jan 11 2008, 06:45 PM

Wounded Ronin QUOTE (shadowfire @ Jan 11 2008, 01:45 PM) QU... Jan 11 2008, 07:00 PM

nezumi The general rule of thumb is to consider the femal... Jan 11 2008, 07:27 PM

Wounded Ronin QUOTE (nezumi) The general rule of thumb is to con... Jan 11 2008, 07:32 PM

nezumi Strangely enough, I got it from my wife. I'm ... Jan 11 2008, 07:39 PM

Kagetenshi Well, I had a big long reply here that got eaten b... Jan 11 2008, 07:59 PM

nezumi I have a similar experience on the other side of t... Jan 11 2008, 08:17 PM

shadowfire QUOTE (nezumi) The general rule of thumb is to con... Jan 11 2008, 08:18 PM

Stahlseele QUOTE (nezumi) The general rule of thumb is to con... Jan 11 2008, 08:47 PM

Momijizukamori Heh. I tend to joke that my SR gaming group should... Jan 11 2008, 08:57 PM

Ryu QUOTE (Wounded Ronin)This causes me stress because... Jan 11 2008, 09:03 PM

Moon-Hawk QUOTE (Wounded Ronin) This causes me stress becaus... Jan 11 2008, 09:12 PM

Redjack This thread has ventured way outside of relevancy ... Jan 12 2008, 12:00 AM

pbangarth Redjack, with the thread title being what it is, I... Jan 12 2008, 03:49 AM

Hocus Pocus QUOTE (nezumi) Considering you have two kids, I kn... Jan 12 2008, 06:59 AM

Redjack QUOTE (pbangarth)Redjack, with the thread title be... Jan 12 2008, 09:55 PM

Adarael QUOTE She feign interest while we were going out. ... Jan 13 2008, 01:03 AM

Adam Don't feed the troll. Jan 13 2008, 01:45 AM

Hocus Pocus QUOTE (Adarael)QUOTE She feign interest while we w... Jan 13 2008, 04:15 AM

pbangarth My first wife played D&D for years, until our ... Jan 13 2008, 09:44 PM

Stahlseele ah yes, women . . can't live with them, can... Jan 13 2008, 09:49 PM

nezumi I WISH my wife would lose interest in gaming now a... Jan 14 2008, 02:40 PM

BlueRondo Just because I thought it was relevent: http://yo... Jan 14 2008, 05:37 PM

darthmord QUOTE (nezumi) I have a similar experience on the ... Jan 16 2008, 05:22 PM

Alphastream QUOTE Actually, sex is one of the most stressful... Jan 19 2008, 12:24 AM

fistandantilus3.0 This is one of those threads that hedges the line,... Jan 19 2008, 12:44 AM

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