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> Assassinations, Wierd and wacky ways to whack people
martingotthard
post Sep 29 2005, 06:16 AM
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One of my favourite ever memories of Shadowrun involves a mission where we had to, I think, meet with some guy who was cloistered in a corporate tower, with an eye to extracting him.. or killing him - Not quite sure which, and it's not all that important in the context of what followed.

The team couldn't reallly think of an easy way to get in and do whatever it was that they had to do, so the one of the groups mages -a rather foul tempered manic Irish Dwarf- decides to go for a scout in the guise of an eagle, using the shapechange spell (1st or 2nd Ed). Not exactly the most common of sights in the sprawl, an eagle, but what the hey :cyber:

So, this guy in his unassailable top floor penthouse is swanning about in a bathrobe when he spots this bird and steps to his ballistic-glass encased balcony to have a look at it... and the player gets an idea.

One eagle/dwarf mage, in full stoop, going 150kph.. Shapechange -> Rhinoceros. 5kg of bird becomes 800kg of meat at 150kph. No ballistic glass in the world is going to stop that.

*Smear*

The Rhinodwarf takes something like a Serious wound off the impact, but the target obviously takes a fair bit more than that. He spends some time stomping on the target "to be sure, to be sure", then turns back into a rather battered bird and flaps awkwardly away.

Meanwhile, the GM is stunned, and the rest of the players are trying not to wet themselves laughing. Needless to say, our group came up with some house rules about shapechanges after that.

Nearly ten years ago, that was, and it still warms the cockles of my heart.

So people, give me your own stories of insanity!
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fistandantilus4....
post Sep 29 2005, 06:30 AM
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short story long... or something... .had acharacter that was pretty good w/ demolitions and electronics, but not a howl lot of resources or other skills. had a similar job where we had to take out some duty-man in his high rise. Before hand I had gained access to the building accross the street, and bribed the janitor to look the other way. Mounted a Great Dragon on a little "one shot" turret I made. Pointed it in the general direction.

Hours later, middle of fire fight, team was getting worked over pretty hard. The target turned out to be a mage, and was killing us from behind a barrier. So once I got some cover, used my little remote to aim as best I could and fired the rocket at the mage. The barrier protected him from most of it. But the safe upstairs we had found earlier fell through the ceiling and crushed the bugger like a ..... well... he was flat. Thing was one of those massive 7' tall dealies. The rocket took out the supports. We had gotten so lucky. Good thing the GM had a clear idea of where everyone was in the room.!
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Dog
post Sep 29 2005, 01:39 PM
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Target liked a particular brand of sandwich that he picked up at least once a week from the same place. Youngest runner got a job there. Waited for the target to show up, then managed to slip some very sensitive plastique into the sandwich. And a little tin-foil. Knowing the guy had fillings.

I'm sure there are a thousand reasons why this wouldn't work. But we were teenagers, it was late, and the espresso was in full force.
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Velocity
post Sep 29 2005, 02:35 PM
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QUOTE (martingotthard)
One eagle/dwarf mage, in full stoop, going 150kph.. Shapechange -> Rhinoceros. 5kg of bird becomes 800kg of meat at 150kph. No ballistic glass in the world is going to stop that.

*Smear*

:biggrin: As a GM with a player who loves Shapechange more than life itself, I have nothing but sympathy for your GM. Great story. :D
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Aku
post Sep 29 2005, 02:40 PM
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hmm, did you guys actually figue out how the change in mass and loss of flight capibility was going to affect where the rhino hit?
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Fox1
post Sep 29 2005, 02:53 PM
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QUOTE (Aku)
hmm, did you guys actually figue out how the change in mass and loss of flight capibility was going to affect where the rhino hit?

A bunch of issues were passed over.

After conserving momentum, the Rhino would have plunged to its death in the city street when its velocity was reduced to less than 1 kph. Even breaking that law of physics, the Rhino would have been hamburger after an impact at 150 kph.

But they had fun, and that's what counts. I used to play fast and loose like that many years ago and still do in my Champions games.


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Aku
post Sep 29 2005, 03:20 PM
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actually, never mind, i got confused because i'm not a bird person, so i just sorta read over the word, and wht i was gonna say (swoop) now that i think about it, i think it's the same thing, so i guess "i'm aiming for the window" would suffice for me as a GM
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Tanka
post Sep 29 2005, 06:41 PM
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Physical Adept, good at ways of stealth/athletics/unarmed combat (er... What other kind is there? :silly:) that likes poisons. Get a latex glove, smear some Hyper, DMSO and another poison of your choice (cyanide works really well at this point). Slap them on a patch of bare skin (or shake their hand, if you're meeting in private) and watch the effects.

No fingerprints, no aura traces, no ritual links... Bada-bing, bada-boom, you're done! (Well, unless there's electronic evidence...)
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Nikoli
post Sep 29 2005, 07:00 PM
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My favorite is and will likely always be a dose or 2 of human insulin into a freckle.
Causes haeart failure within a few minutes, leaves no scar and doesn't show up on toxicology screen.
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Smiley
post Sep 29 2005, 07:03 PM
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Three words: explosive toilet seat.
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Nikoli
post Sep 29 2005, 07:05 PM
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Man, that's invasive. How would you feel if someone blew your ass up at your most vulnerable. That's just mean, man.
At least my way is clean and less rude.
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hyzmarca
post Sep 29 2005, 07:13 PM
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Before Lethal Weapon 2, I never checked for bombs under my toilet. Now I always do.
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Nikoli
post Sep 29 2005, 07:14 PM
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lol
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Trax
post Sep 29 2005, 08:06 PM
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Could be worse, it could've been an explosive supository.
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Nikoli
post Sep 29 2005, 08:08 PM
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Anyone else seeing the Professor from futurama, "Good news, it's a suppository."
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Trax
post Sep 29 2005, 08:09 PM
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If anyone has ever watched the movie Man on Fire, you'd see what I mean.
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Nikoli
post Sep 29 2005, 08:11 PM
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i have, loved his reaction to the kidnapping and how his friend and the federali understood why he was the way he was.
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Kyoto Kid
post Sep 29 2005, 08:48 PM
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QUOTE (Dog)
Target liked a particular brand of sandwich that he picked up at least once a week from the same place.  Youngest runner got a job there.  Waited for the target to show up, then managed to slip some very sensitive plastique into the sandwich.  And a little tin-foil.  Knowing the guy had fillings. 

I'm sure there are a thousand reasons why this wouldn't work.  But we were teenagers, it was late, and the espresso was in full force.


This could work as the way my "innocent" young wiz kid Leela sees it.

Forget the foil. Instead she rigs a wafer thin micro detonator to the plastique that is of course carefully disguised as a slice of soycheez When said target unwraps the sandwich & takes his first bite, Leela (though her transducer/transceiver patch) simply thinks "Bon Appetit" (which is the detonation code) - *poof* pink cloud where target's head used to be.

hmm...she'll have to try this.
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Nikoli
post Sep 29 2005, 08:52 PM
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withthe right chemicals and processes, you could make the explosives actually taste like soycheese too.
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Trax
post Sep 29 2005, 09:10 PM
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Heh, instead of blowing off his head just wait until he finishes eating the sandwhich, then blow up his internal organs. It'll be ruled out as a bad case of indigestion.
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Tanka
post Sep 29 2005, 10:12 PM
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One of these runs I plan on actually pulling off the "loading piano" kill.

It'd be even better if it was a Mafia man that got knocked.
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Fix-it
post Sep 30 2005, 12:28 AM
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QUOTE (tanka)
One of these runs I plan on actually pulling off the "loading piano" kill.

It'd be even better if it was a Mafia man that got knocked.

Not familiar with that one... do tell.
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fistandantilus4....
post Sep 30 2005, 03:17 AM
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anyone played the 'new' punisher game, in the funeral home? Good times, good times.
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Critias
post Sep 30 2005, 09:33 AM
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Nothing terribly wacky, zany, or off-the-wall, but my last bit of wetwork was my street sammie, working solo. He just t-boned the target's limo (ignoring the escort cars in front and behind) with his giant-ass truck at a Seattle intersection, fired a burst into the half-dead target's head through the busted-to-hell door, then drove off. There was a fairly decent chase (datajack port and 21 Reaction can even give a Rigger a run for their money) afterwards, but it worked pretty well, all things considered.

Ah, good times.

All the wired-up sammy bodyguards in the world don't do much good when the car you're riding in takes horrible, horrible, damage from being rammed nearly in half.
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Adarael
post Sep 30 2005, 10:06 AM
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QUOTE (fistandantilus3.0)
anyone played the 'new' punisher game, in the funeral home? Good times, good times.

When I was playing and Castle looked at the coffin I turned to my roommate and said, quite literally, "If they do not let me sit up from a coffin and mow down a room full of unsuspecting Mafia thugs... they are not worthy of calling this game the punisher, and we're returning it."

Lo and behold... It was a proper Punisher game.
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