One of my favourite ever memories of Shadowrun involves a mission where we had to, I think, meet with some guy who was cloistered in a corporate tower, with an eye to extracting him.. or killing him - Not quite sure which, and it's not all that important in the context of what followed.

The team couldn't reallly think of an easy way to get in and do whatever it was that they had to do, so the one of the groups mages -a rather foul tempered manic Irish Dwarf- decides to go for a scout in the guise of an eagle, using the shapechange spell (1st or 2nd Ed). Not exactly the most common of sights in the sprawl, an eagle, but what the hey

So, this guy in his unassailable top floor penthouse is swanning about in a bathrobe when he spots this bird and steps to his ballistic-glass encased balcony to have a look at it... and the player gets an idea.

One eagle/dwarf mage, in full stoop, going 150kph.. Shapechange -> Rhinoceros. 5kg of bird becomes 800kg of meat at 150kph. No ballistic glass in the world is going to stop that.

*Smear*

The Rhinodwarf takes something like a Serious wound off the impact, but the target obviously takes a fair bit more than that. He spends some time stomping on the target "to be sure, to be sure", then turns back into a rather battered bird and flaps awkwardly away.

Meanwhile, the GM is stunned, and the rest of the players are trying not to wet themselves laughing. Needless to say, our group came up with some house rules about shapechanges after that.

Nearly ten years ago, that was, and it still warms the cockles of my heart.

So people, give me your own stories of insanity!

short story long... or something... .had acharacter that was pretty good w/ demolitions and electronics, but not a howl lot of resources or other skills. had a similar job where we had to take out some duty-man in his high rise. Before hand I had gained access to the building accross the street, and bribed the janitor to look the other way. Mounted a Great Dragon on a little "one shot" turret I made. Pointed it in the general direction.

Hours later, middle of fire fight, team was getting worked over pretty hard. The target turned out to be a mage, and was killing us from behind a barrier. So once I got some cover, used my little remote to aim as best I could and fired the rocket at the mage. The barrier protected him from most of it. But the safe upstairs we had found earlier fell through the ceiling and crushed the bugger like a ..... well... he was flat. Thing was one of those massive 7' tall dealies. The rocket took out the supports. We had gotten so lucky. Good thing the GM had a clear idea of where everyone was in the room.!

Target liked a particular brand of sandwich that he picked up at least once a week from the same place. Youngest runner got a job there. Waited for the target to show up, then managed to slip some very sensitive plastique into the sandwich. And a little tin-foil. Knowing the guy had fillings.

I'm sure there are a thousand reasons why this wouldn't work. But we were teenagers, it was late, and the espresso was in full force.

hmm, did you guys actually figue out how the change in mass and loss of flight capibility was going to affect where the rhino hit?

actually, never mind, i got confused because i'm not a bird person, so i just sorta read over the word, and wht i was gonna say (swoop) now that i think about it, i think it's the same thing, so i guess "i'm aiming for the window" would suffice for me as a GM

Physical Adept, good at ways of stealth/athletics/unarmed combat (er... What other kind is there? ) that likes poisons. Get a latex glove, smear some Hyper, DMSO and another poison of your choice (cyanide works really well at this point). Slap them on a patch of bare skin (or shake their hand, if you're meeting in private) and watch the effects.

No fingerprints, no aura traces, no ritual links... Bada-bing, bada-boom, you're done! (Well, unless there's electronic evidence...)

My favorite is and will likely always be a dose or 2 of human insulin into a freckle.
Causes haeart failure within a few minutes, leaves no scar and doesn't show up on toxicology screen.

Three words: explosive toilet seat.

Man, that's invasive. How would you feel if someone blew your ass up at your most vulnerable. That's just mean, man.
At least my way is clean and less rude.

Before Lethal Weapon 2, I never checked for bombs under my toilet. Now I always do.

lol

Could be worse, it could've been an explosive supository.

Anyone else seeing the Professor from futurama, "Good news, it's a suppository."

If anyone has ever watched the movie Man on Fire, you'd see what I mean.

i have, loved his reaction to the kidnapping and how his friend and the federali understood why he was the way he was.

withthe right chemicals and processes, you could make the explosives actually taste like soycheese too.

Heh, instead of blowing off his head just wait until he finishes eating the sandwhich, then blow up his internal organs. It'll be ruled out as a bad case of indigestion.

One of these runs I plan on actually pulling off the "loading piano" kill.

It'd be even better if it was a Mafia man that got knocked.

anyone played the 'new' punisher game, in the funeral home? Good times, good times.

Nothing terribly wacky, zany, or off-the-wall, but my last bit of wetwork was my street sammie, working solo. He just t-boned the target's limo (ignoring the escort cars in front and behind) with his giant-ass truck at a Seattle intersection, fired a burst into the half-dead target's head through the busted-to-hell door, then drove off. There was a fairly decent chase (datajack port and 21 Reaction can even give a Rigger a run for their money) afterwards, but it worked pretty well, all things considered.

Ah, good times.

All the wired-up sammy bodyguards in the world don't do much good when the car you're riding in takes horrible, horrible, damage from being rammed nearly in half.

I dunno, that seems awfully slim chances. I mean, aren't people going to wonder why a piano is being hauled up when you could pay a troll 50 nuyen and have them carry it up the stairs?

this is why they invented Enhanced Aim. you would be like Bullseye, only with pianos.

ROFL.
Actually, fairly wide, once you remove the legs of the piano.

Not a hit/assasination situation, but worth the telling (IMO)...

A dwarf I was playing (Wiz actually, see the screen name) was nabbed off the street after a run. He was going back to his vehicle out near the docks somewhere and four heavily armed gangers popped out with more artillery than Wiz could go against with just his SMG. (Wiz was an electronics expert, no heavy combat type) So he went pretty quietly. The gangers' boss wanted Wiz to work for him (and wouldn't take no for an answer). He was kept in a cell when not in the workshop (with constant guard). So one night Wiz gets sick of it. He picks up his matress (a ratty, thin thing) and starts yelling about a devil rat. The guard comes in, stun baton in hand, and Wiz rushes him, mattress up front like a riot shield and puts him against the wall. He's little, but he had leverage and kept the guy pinned while wrenching the stun baton from his hand. Wiz kept zapping him with that thing until he stopped twitching, then proceeded with the escape attempt. I didn't make it out, and I got a smaller cell with no mattress for my efforts (and a [un]healthy dose of electricty for all the trouble, and the dead guard).

ah...good times...

Time delay capsules injected into unsuspecting subjects.

Various combinations of drugs with overlapping periods of effect.

-Siege

There is alway the player who wanted to use a "broken down" petrol tanker as the basis for a bomb on the targets route to work. This was stopped because everyone else thought it was a tad psychotic.

I know of one game where a player high-jacked a tanker, rigged it with explosives, and let it run down a hill straight to the target house. That was one hell of an explosion.

Oh, and did I mention that this was for a diversion?

He wasn't called Rico was he? (the character)
That soounds like his style.

FAB at a near-surface gas main at a busy intersection out of a port facility just as a truck carrying explosives was coming out. All this just to steal something in the port facility.

Usually you want the facility to survive the diversion.

Nope, his name was Taurno. He died a little later by a vengeful mage mother who knew Slay when he attacked her kid.

I had a group of players that wanted to sneak into a Great Dragon's lair while they were sleeping and set some C-12 in their oversized ear. They found out the hard way that Great Dragons don't sleep all the time like the dragons in AD&D

Personally, I'd like to put some monowire across the neckhole of someone's t-shirt and slip it into their wardrobe. When they go to put it on, it'll do funny things to their head.