New Character - Looking for a review, This is my first face character Options

[ludomastro]

Hello all,

This is my first face character and I was wondering if everyone would take a look for me. I'm not trying for the fully tricked-out pheromone kid, so keep that in mind.

BASIC INFO:
Real Name: Ian McDurmond
Current Fake ID: Alex Marshall
Alternate Fake ID: Michael Smith
Street Name: Zero
Race: Elf

BIO:

[ Spoiler ]

Ian was born in 2049 to William and Gabriella McDurmond, two elves from Seattle and Tir Tangire respectively. Altough his native language is English, he grew up speaking Sperethiel in his home and feels at home when speaking it. His father was the head of security for an A level corporation here in Seattle, after working his way up from a simple security rigger. His mom is a bit of distant memory as she went home to visit family in Tir one weekend when he was three; however, she never came back. All of his father’s attempts to find out more information were blocked at every turn. This left Ian with a dad who was a little harder on his kids than he may have needed to be. His sister, Gabriella – named after her mom, took after dad’s love of technology and seemed to have an uncanny ability with all technical things as well as the Matix. Because Ian was always daydreaming his dad took to calling him Zero, the binary value for something that was turned off as he always seemed to be off in another world. Ian was fine with this as any time spent with his father is good time as far as he was concerned.

At age eleven Ian found stared in the school play and fell in love with the theater. His father met his announcement that he wanted to be an actor, with disbelief though he decided to encourage him because he figured that Ian would grow out of it and come to his senses. As Ian got older his decision became more and more sure. Although his dad was not enthused by his son’s decision to follow what was to him a “dead-end” profession he non-the-less supported his son figuring that he could do much worse by alienating his own flesh and blood.

With the Crash in 2064, William decided that he would take the time necessary to ensure that his children had their SIN reinstated. It was at this time that his sister began to exhibit Technomancer qualities. This was also the time that Ian got his first datajack. The surgery revealed that his was less tolerant to pain than the average joe. Due to this and her technomancer abilities, Gabriella, decided to forgo any cyberware. Things seemed to be going well for the McDurmond family.

It was only two years later that William was gunned down be few thugs who were sent to steal a few cars from a facility that he was upgrading to wireless systems. The Star was able to catch the individuals; however that did little for the McDurmond children – Ian (17) and Gabriella (19). The corporation continued to provide 60% of their dad’s pay for the first year, in order for Gabriella to get a job. She ultimately decided to work for a rival corporation and the payments mysteriously stopped. When things got tight, she moved herself and Ian out of the apartment because she had no intention of paying her rent from the horizontal position. This put Ian close to a community theater and allowed him an outlet for his demons.

Within the next year, Ian began acting professionally and he and his sister went their separate ways. However, life for Ian was closer to his dad’s picture than that of his own. He needed an alternate source of income and mentioned this to a regular guest at the theater with whom he played chess. Hiroshi Takakana indicated that he had a friend who could use the services of a good actor. Interested, Ian who had not revealed his real identity, asked for more information. Hiroshi, set him up to do some negotiation with a local mafia don on behaldf of the company. Due to his charm and acting ability the don was persuaded to see things Hiroshi’s way. This proved to be easy money that Ian could not turn down if he wanted to keep enjoying life. Realizing that he needed an alternate identity, he procured a fake SIN (his first illegal act) under the name Michael Smith. Thus began his descent into the shadows, first out of necessity and then out of the enjoyment of the challenge of working his will over others. He soon traded his low quality fake SIN for one much better, that of Alex Marshall.

His first experience with violence during a job left him paralyzed. It took some effort and a few not so veiled threats from the team mage to get him moving again. He makes a vow on his father’s memory to only use non-lethal force and to try and convince those he works with of the ability to accomplish the job without the use of violence. He knows first hand what it can do to families. This is also the time that he adopts the name Zero for street use in homage to his father and as a reminder of his vow.

One of his goals is to gain the ability to effect world events and to b able to retire in style. However, he also has an intense desire to find out what happened to his mom.

STATS:

[ Spoiler ]

B 2
A 3
R 3
S 2
C 8
I 5
L 4
W 4
E 3
INI 8
ESS 5.7

QUALITIES:

[ Spoiler ]

Positive:
Exceptional Attribute: Charisma (20)
First Impression (5)

Negative:
SINer (-5)
Combat Paralysis (-20)
Low Pain Tolerance (-10)

SKILLS:

[ Spoiler ]

ACTIVE:

[ Spoiler ]

Influence Skill Group (4)
Dodge (3)
Pistols (1)
Pilot: Ground Craft (1)
Perception (6)
First Aid (3)
Stealth Skill Group (2)
Electronics Skill Group (1)

KNOWLEDGE:

[ Spoiler ]

Wine (1)
Art History (2)
Mega Corporate Politics (2)
Urban Brawl League Standings (3)
Seattle Gangs (2)
Seattle Fences (1)
Method Acting (3)
Chess (1)

LANGUAGE:

[ Spoiler ]

Sperethiel (4)
English (N)
Japanese (3)
Chinese (2)
Souix (2)

CONTACTS:

[ Spoiler ]

Connection/Loyalty - Name: Description
2/3 - Marcus Lawrence Johnson (Prefers Mark): Local L.S. Cop who is dating his sister, Gabriella.
4/3 - Samuel Trustfield: Fixer (Ork)
1/2 - Bethany Richins: An actress turned community theater promoter in the same company where Ian started. He still helps on occasion with her productions.
2/2 - Hiroshi Takakana: Low Level Manager for Horizon. This is the first person that Ian ever did a run for.
3/1 - Doc "Hope": Street Doc that has a pulse on the neighborhoods near the old theater.
1/1 - Crash-n-Burn: Ork Ganger who was impressed with Ian's knowledge of Urban Brawl and fortunately (for Ian) they like the same team.

GEAR:

[ Spoiler ]

Implanted Commlink: Hermes Ikon with Novatech Navi OS. This holds his real SIN.
External Commlink: ditto
Datajack
Subdermal Mic
Fake SIN (4): Alex Marshall
Fake SIN (2): Michael Smith
Fake License (4): Light Pistol
Glases with Smartlink, Flare Compensation & Thermographic Vision
Earbuds with Audio Enhancement (3) and Select Soudn Filter (3)
Four Certified Credsticks
Yamaha Pulsar (Taser) with 20 darts
Fichetti Sec 600 with 60 gel-rounds
Extra clip
Concealable Holster
Medkit (6)
Honda Spirit
Actioneer Business Clothes
Armor Clothing
Urban Explorer Jumpsuit
Middle Lifestyle (2 months prepaid)

Well, throw it at me! :D

Edited by Alex on 19-MAR-2006 to reflect the recommendations of Ophis and FrankTrollman.

[Ophis]

two things on qualities. First why has he got exep att cha at start and not used it? a 7 in cha is doable as an elf with out, waste of 20 points as is. Second he has 40 points of neg qualities when he normally should only have 35.

I would have also gone for the influence skill group rather than seperate skills (though neg 6 is nice). I think leadership is a skill is cool, its all about getting people to do what you want because you look important/sound reasonable.

[FrankTrollman]

I agree with Ophis. Take an Influence Group at 4 (save 16 points), buy your Perception up to 6 (lose 8 points), and bring Charisma up to 8 (cost 10 points). Then unpimp your ride down to a VW Golf (save 2 points).

Also, if he has family from Seattle, he probably speaks something other than Sperethiel as a native language. As is, your English skill isn't even high enough to use your Negotiations of 6, which is problematic.

And yes, you have an illegal number of negative qualities. I'd suggest swapping the Sensitive System for Low Pain Tolerance.

-Frank

[Ravor]

Why not buy the Influence Skill Group to R4 and then 'improve' Negotiation up to R6? (One of the Sample Characters does it, so it should be considered Legal in most groups.)

[TinkerGnome]

[FrankTrollman]

[ludomastro]

@ Orphis and FrankTrollman

Thanks for the suggestions. I was debating over the influence skill group versus individual skills for a while. I completely spaced the 35 BP limit. Somehow I had gotten it into my head that it was a net 35 BP one way or the other for the limit.

I fixed the following:

Language: English is native with Sperethiel at 4. (Fixed bio as well.)
Low Pain Tolerance in place of Sensitive System (This necessitated a few other changes.)
Charisma is at 8
Pistols is back down to a 1 without the specialization
The limo was unpimped to a Honda Spirit
Samuel (contact) now has loyalty of 3 (up from 2)
Influnce Skill Group at 4
Perception at 6

Thanks for the help! 8)