Discussion: Something big happened to me . . . Options

[FanGirl]

. . .and it’s all I’ve been able to think about ever since. I won’t go into the details (it’s a very private matter, and I don’t understand it all anyways), but I know that it’s related to this stuff that happened to me about five or six years ago, during the Crash. The Crash changed my life—changed me—more than it did most people, and for all those years I’ve been trying to find answers about those changes. Now that this new thing has happened, I feel like I’m starting to get the answers I’ve waited for, but I’m not sure that I really want them now. This thing—well, revelation is probably a better word for it—this revelation has shown me that I’m a part of something so much bigger than I am, something that I can’t even begin to fathom. And that makes me feel so small and insignificant. . . . If only I could understand more!

Anyway, has anyone ever felt like this? I’d feel better knowing that someone else might be able to sympathize. Please share!

—FanGirl

[Ashen]

What you describe sounds almost exactly like my experiences hearing the spirits speak for the first time. It's a lot to get used to, even a month later it's still hard to accept you're part of an entirely different reality than everyone else occupies. I was lucky, I had people to help me through it. I hate to think about what happens to those who don't.

-Ashen

[Kanada Ten]

> Psychotropic effects associated with exposure to the Jormungand worm. This is a pretty typical response from lab tests I've seen. You're probably experiencing delusions and "after images" that seem to emulate or resemble the Matrix, unless I miss my guess. Maybe you should head over to Seattle General and talk to a Doctor Francis Coppella; he can put you in touch with the right people to sort out the disorder.
> Syberfr33k

[emo samurai]

Hi. I'm Aleister, and I used to be known as C :nuyen: b3R 47|-|1337 (Cyber Athlete. Corny, I know.) before the big Crash. I'm from the Resonance Lodge, a group of people like who can link up to the internet, force it to spill its secrets, and crash servers without any help from technology. Don't listen to the man telling you to go to the hospital; he can't do much more than give you pills that'll slow you down and make your head hurt.

In order to log onto our server, go to www.badgerbadgerbadger.com, remember the second repetition through the 30th one, and repeat it in the form of pure resonance. No mundie server'll pick it up, it being Resonance and all, and not even FastJack can project ANYTHING in the way you can. I have yet to find a fellow technomancer who wasn't frightened and at the same time trustworthy, so I think I'm okay putting this on a public forum.

[Dranem]

Speaking of 'Psychotropic effects', that badger site only makes sense when you're high man!
'Resonance server', dude, you've been doin' too many shrooms (to think some still go back to the basics to get their kicks.)

The Crash... I have memories - no nightmares of that event. One pulse I was fighting in the Nexus itself to buffer the Disonance from destroying the host of all hosts. From my backlog I scanned being dropped from the node and a searing white light.. then all was dark. The void was endless, with no exit in sight. I lost count the cycles I lay there in the void.

Coming back online from the long dark and into the Real, I discovered the machine world spoke to me, and I hadn't even jacked in. At a thought I could feel everything around me, the wireless datapaths, the flow of information, the new wireless access points coming online and soon the visual overstimulation of RFID tags splattered over the landscape - it was almost too much! I've since learned to filter out some of the spam and drek and focus on what's important. Not easy when you're a teen...

I'm scanning for other children of the Matrix like myself who survived the crash. I've lost my old tribe, those few who didn't derez aren't the same. Only a couple of personas recompiled to this new gift that the Docs have tagged Technomancers. If you're a persona seeking a tribe to learn your new code bits as many of us are, then scan one us out. Our personas are brighter than other Hackers on the grid, send your signal and we'll find you.

You're not a lone sprite out there, if you're home node is Seattle, drop me a MatrixMail at the encrypted key attached and we can connect.

BronzeWyrm.

[Kremlin KOA]

Greetings from Denver

Listen: I have seen enoug n the Matrix to know that your experiences are not delusion. but be careful aout going near others with similar talents. I remember the Otaku wars of 59 and 60 over the Deus Incident

If you need Patronage in Denver I mighht be able to help you

I am Kremlin, Founder of MIDG and Head of MIDG Denver

I am providing a safe haven for Technomancers who need a place to go where tey will be safe from the world

The facility includes a mini matrix where you do not connect to the world, but big enough for resonance to exist

I may just be an Old troll, but I like to help occasionally

[emo samurai]

I guess they always said that variety was the great asset of our consumerist society. Or was it the bane? But whatever, you take your pick.

>>4|_31573R

[James McMurray]

Please, first thing, go discuss this with a medical professional. If you can find a good one, I'd suggest a neuropsychologist.

There are two possible answers to your questions:

1) The crash twisted something in your head the wrong way. Speaking to someone that knows what they're doing could help you to twist it back.

2) The crash twisted something in your head the right way. Speaking to someone that knows what they're doing could advance knowledge of the subject by leaps and bounds. If what you and others like you are saying is real, this could have a bigger impact on our world than anything since the Awakening.

[emo samurai]

Just make sure you bring your fake SIN with you.

And Wyrm? The site never makes sense, even when you're high. Its only purpose is to make repeating "badger" in rhythm seem cool. Which it does. :P

>>4|_31573R

[Dranem]

[emo samurai]

Yeah, on second thought, they'll be useless. They weren't able to analyze me when I was an otaku, and that was when I needed some form of DNI uplink to use the Matrix. Right now my brain is up there with cheese on the moon in terms of analyzability by medical science.

>>4|_31573R

[Kremlin KOA]

Three 'manncers in one thread... I should provide more assistance

seriously I do offer help to those in Denver, and am somewhat familiar with the Technomancer Phenomena

[Oracle]

Technomancers? Than the rumours are true? Wireless Otaku?

> Venom

[Kremlin KOA]

The rumors are true

They are interesting
and more delicate than Otaku

[emo samurai]

And more awesome.

Seriously, come to us. We have the most interesting passcode. :D

>>4|_31573R

[emo samurai]

FanGirl, where are you? If you're suffering from some illness and you're unable to move, we could just come over and take you to MCT public hospital. It doesn't matter if you're SINless or not, we'd like to get a good look at you.

>>Nurse Ratchet

[OOC]This obviously creepy and evil post was meant to spur you towards a decision. ;)

[James McMurray]

I find it interesting that people expect miracles from technologists (doctors in this case) when something is so new it isn't even believed in yet. How can they know what to do to scan the functions of your brain when those functions are totally new to the human race. Despite the hype, doctors are just people like yourselves, trying to do the best with what they've got. The more of these "technomancers" that come forward the faster our knowledge base will grow and the better we'll be able to help people.

For example, if you are really travelling the matrix with just your mind, what happens when you encounter a virus or intrusion countermeasures. If a computer ssytem gets fried the software can be reformatted and reloaded. We can replace the hardware if needed. It's much harder to reformat and reload a human brain. With study we can learn how to help protect these emerging minds on their excursions into the datastream, lowering the risks involved and finding out how to better fix the damage when it happens.

Aliester: there is a lot of medical knowledge available about Otaku now compared to what we had a mere three years ago. Again, they are an emerging piece of the puzzle that is humanity in the 6th world. They were almost completely unknown up until Deus was stopped and they were freed. And again, it's a case of availability. How do you study something when only a tiny population exists, and an even tinier portion of that population doesn't elect to go into hiding instead of joining society?

FanGirl, I work in the neurological branch of a firm who may not want me giving their name on this server, but I can gaurantee you that if you'll contact me I will do everything in my power to find out what it happening to you, why it's happening, how medical science can help, and then use that information to help the world at large. Please contact me if you would like to become part of something greater than yourself.

[bustedkarma]

>>Fangirl: the only thing I'd reccomend is keeping a low profile about whatever it is your capable of now.
I'm no expert, and would never claim to be, but I heard some things a few months ago in Odessa. Rumors of Rumors. Crash Survivors being offered compensation....and then falling off the grid entirely.

Nothings free kiddo. Remember that.

-Dresden

[James McMurray]

Please do not think that the previous poster is referring to anything I would be involved in.

[Kremlin KOA]

>>>>> I don't know about the Unknown firm, but I highly recommend AGAINST taking up the Mitsuhama Offer

MIDG Seattle can get you a Place to hide
and MIDG Denver can help you understand what is happening

Nothing in life is free
but if you ask the price of my assistance can be determined in advance.

[James McMurray]

Anyone asking a price should probably not be trusted. My offer is certainly not one sided, but the "payment" is also part of the benefit. You giving us the chance to study this new phenomenon is the "price." If you can call it that.

I have a feeling that these MIDG guys will expect you to use your abilities to further their own socio-political agendas. I would also be wary of anyone whose offer involves shutting you away inside their own "mini-matrix." Delivering oneself to captivity is rarely a good idea.

[Dranem]

'Study this phenomenon', like my persona is some kind of freak of the Meat world.
The chosen who seek the Deep Resonance scan the 'Trix to a level the Meat Docs will never compile. They'll poke your gray matter, decompile your code, and slice it up - each intrusion into your icon will tear some of the Resonance from you till it's gone.

I'm sure that JM 'means' well, to him, your persona is nothing more than something to be disected like some lab rat though - I scanned it happen to my buddy-icon Jill.

Find a tribe, seek the hidden places, let the Resonance teach you want you need to learn... that is the true power of the children of the Matrix. The Meat offers little to us, the online universe is our domain, here we are home, here we will find answers.

Kremlin, the next time I'm in the Nexus, I'll look you up. ;)

ωγяm

[SocialChameleon]

Agreed. Although if you can get help with no strings attached, that would be best. Granted, I don't have the same experiences as you (I'm Awakened, not a technomancer), but the people that helped me come to grips with my abilities made it clear that they wouldn't force me to do anything I didn't want to.

-Ashen

[bustedkarma]

>>It's been my expierence chummers, that there are ALWAYS strings attached.
--Dresden

[James McMurray]

Wyrm, I feel sorry for your loss, especially as it now seems to color your world so darkly. What happened to your friend Jill is a shame, perpetrated by those who ignore the first precepts of medical science: First, do no harm.

I'm sorry you feel that being a phenomenon makes you a freak. If so, I would give much to be a freak if it meant seeing through to the next layer of reality and stepping away from the bonds of the flesh. The awakened, and this new class of humanity's technomancers, are indeed phenomenon, in that they are something outside the norm. It may technically fit the definition of "freak" but that word brings with it many negative connotations that do not apply in this case.

Technomancy is yet another miracle being given to us by the sixth world. Some will fear it, some will loathe it. Some will envy it while others will view it as proof that whatever personal God they hold dear loves us. In the end though, it will most likely prove to be just another evolutionary leap. Something to be understood. A tool to be used to further the cause of Humanity.