 new fiction at srrpg.com, The Man with the Plans |
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 Sep 25 2006, 05:58 PM
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#1
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Ain Soph Aur  Group: Dumpshocked Posts: 3,477 Joined: 26-February 02 From: Montreal, Canada Member No.: 600  |
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Sep 25 2006, 07:01 PM
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#2
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Ain Soph Aur Group: Dumpshocked Posts: 3,477 Joined: 26-February 02 From: Montreal, Canada Member No.: 600 |
Hmm, I liked it A LOT. Very, very good story. Full of original but still very SRish ideas, with the confused SR morality very well inked it. Very good, very good.
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Sep 25 2006, 08:14 PM
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#3
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Shadow Cartographer Group: Members Posts: 3,737 Joined: 2-June 06 From: Secret Tunnels under the UK (South West) Member No.: 8,636 |
Fucking excellent. I could do a more literary critique, but it would still come down to the same thing. Thanks for writing this! -K. |
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Sep 25 2006, 08:15 PM
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#4
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Shooting Target Group: Validating Posts: 1,618 Joined: 29-January 03 From: Montevideo, Uruguay. Member No.: 3,992 |
Anyone knows if the author is a Dumpshocker?
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Sep 25 2006, 09:01 PM
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#5
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Uncle Fisty Group: Admin Posts: 13,870 Joined: 3-January 05 From: Next To Her Member No.: 6,928 |
I liked it. I'd like to be able to give that kind of feel to my games. I think that any kind of writing worth the effort should evoke an emotional response of some sort and that one did for me. That good down opressed dredge type feeling. I also liked that it started out w/ Skunk trying to be the 'hero/leader of the people' type fighting "the power" or "the man" and once he got a taste of it, he eventually becomes corrupted by it and replaces "the man". I like.
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Sep 25 2006, 09:36 PM
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#6
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 749 Joined: 28-July 05 Member No.: 7,526 |
kudos dave barton
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Sep 25 2006, 09:43 PM
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#7
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 681 Joined: 28-February 06 From: UK Member No.: 8,319 |
Yup! ;) This is my first published fiction (and I've been waiting ages to see it go up!). I'll be thrilled to read any and all comments, and discuss any aspect of it that anybody likes. EDIT: Btw- fistandantilus3.0- you know that picture I was talking about wanting, but was being a bit cagey about the details? Still up for it? |
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Sep 25 2006, 09:48 PM
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#8
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 199 Joined: 16-September 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 5,625 |
Best fiction up yet! I loved the ambiance, the detail, the mood. I loved the flashback and especially the twist at the end. Kudos! They should totally hire you to write a novel for them, Witness. :D
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Sep 25 2006, 09:52 PM
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#9
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Dragon Group: Members Posts: 4,589 Joined: 28-November 05 Member No.: 8,019 |
Sweet. It's really, really good. A very unorthodox setting for SR that's very SR nonetheless.
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Sep 25 2006, 10:24 PM
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#10
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 681 Joined: 28-February 06 From: UK Member No.: 8,319 |
Don't know if it's a twist, exactly, but I think I know what you mean ;), and thanks (all) for the nice comments so far. It's gratifying that at least one person got an 'emotional response', and knasser: totally up for hearing the literary critique. I'd also be interested in hearing what a Vancouver native thinks of what I did to their beautiful city. |
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Sep 25 2006, 10:31 PM
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#11
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Uncle Fisty Group: Admin Posts: 13,870 Joined: 3-January 05 From: Next To Her Member No.: 6,928 |
I have a little less time lately, but more than that , the issue is actually being able to send it to you is the issue. let me know what you want, and I'll start doing some sketches. Send me a PM, I may end up jsut having to snailmail you the original. I do have a handy-dandy scanner now, but now I can't do as much at work w/ the internet. err... I think I've rambled enough, so instead of derailing your thread, just PM me.
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Sep 25 2006, 10:44 PM
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#12
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 433 Joined: 26-February 02 From: Somewhere in Iraq Member No.: 1,789 |
Witness, that is probably one of the coolest SR fiction pieces I have ever read in my life. You really nailed down what makes Shadowrun ... Shadowrun :D. Great job chummer, if you lived near me I would buy you a beer or two.
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Sep 25 2006, 11:43 PM
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#13
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 681 Joined: 28-February 06 From: UK Member No.: 8,319 |
Ah it's only a few thousand miles. I've travelled further for free beer. ;)
I should probably big up my homie Robyn. I'm sure she made this a much better story than it originally was. |
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Sep 25 2006, 11:57 PM
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#14
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 296 Joined: 26-February 02 From: Usually under a cat Member No.: 864 |
Nah--it was a good story going in. I just cleaned up a few minor bits and asked for a few clarifications. Congratulations on a job nicely done! :) |
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Sep 26 2006, 12:19 AM
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#15
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Neophyte Runner Group: Members Posts: 2,078 Joined: 26-February 02 Member No.: 67 |
Damn good stuff!
Hopefully more of your stories go up there. |
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Sep 26 2006, 12:51 AM
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#16
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 668 Joined: 4-September 06 Member No.: 9,304 |
Enjoyed it a lot.
I Liked the play of emotions and range of motivation (even the suppressed motives). I liked how the small boat "pilot" was cybered at least a bit, and possibly an old runner. Brought out the you never know what is going to happen, or even what is going on in SR. |
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Sep 26 2006, 12:58 AM
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#17
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 170 Joined: 18-September 06 Member No.: 9,412 |
Good story. I'm from vancouver and I was wondering as I read it if the writer was as well. I guess not, but good job with the "name droping". I used to live right by Granville Island and I still have a bunch of friends who work there. its my favorite place to go and have a few drinks, so its nice to have it at least mentioned in a Shadowrun story.
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 Sep 26 2006, 01:23 AM
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#18
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jacked in Group: Admin Posts: 8,514 Joined: 26-February 02 Member No.: 463 |
Very nice! :)
Bye Thanee |
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Sep 26 2006, 11:02 AM
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#19
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 681 Joined: 28-February 06 From: UK Member No.: 8,319 |
'His difficult second work.' Hmm. ;) Well I have a few ideas, so maybe.
That's good to hear. I confess I've not actually been to Vancouver but I spent so much time looking at pictures and exploring it in Google Earth when I was detailing it for a SR campaign that I feel like I know it quite well! The 'Bleached Whale' is meant to be on Granville Island- under the overpass. The 'Skunkworks' is somewhere near or in McMath Park. And the 'Vancouver Ridge' basically runs the length of Comox Street, with the 'Vitus Grand' at the NW end overlooking Stanley Park. Oh and I couldn't bring myself to put this into the story but Monty's boat (when he was an NPC in my game) was called 'The Fraser Crane'. (Boo). |
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Sep 26 2006, 11:20 AM
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#20
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Great, I'm a Dragon... Group: Retired Admins Posts: 6,699 Joined: 8-October 03 From: North Germany Member No.: 5,698 |
Hey, back then I completly missed thtat thread. |
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Sep 26 2006, 02:51 PM
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#21
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 296 Joined: 26-February 02 From: Usually under a cat Member No.: 864 |
That's funny, 'cause when I originally sent Adam the blurb for the webpage, I accidentally wrote 'Marty Crane' instead of 'Monty Crane.' When I corrected it, I said, "Guess I'm watching too much 'Frasier'..." :) |
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Sep 26 2006, 03:20 PM
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#22
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Great Dragon Group: Members Posts: 6,748 Joined: 5-July 02 Member No.: 2,935 |
Good stuff, Witness.
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Sep 26 2006, 03:48 PM
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#23
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Runner Group: Members Posts: 3,009 Joined: 25-September 06 From: Paris, France Member No.: 9,466 |
Excellent story. One of the best official short fiction so far.
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Sep 26 2006, 07:08 PM
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#24
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Man In The Machine Group: Dumpshocked Posts: 2,264 Joined: 26-February 02 From: I-495 S Member No.: 1,105 |
Im going to agree with that as well. Hands down a fantastic peice of SR lit. Its got a lot of feeling, and is still noir enough to be good classic shadowrun.
Well Effing done! |
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Sep 27 2006, 12:59 AM
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#25
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 681 Joined: 28-February 06 From: UK Member No.: 8,319 |
I'll get a big head, you know.
Where's SL James? ;) |
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